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Thread: Grading Session for Week 154

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    The Lurker <span style='color: #FFFFFF'><span class='glow_008080'>swaswj</span></span>'s Avatar
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    Grading Session for Week 154

    [Be] -> [Oc] -> [Aq] -> [Be]

    The grading groups and their graders are currently as follows:

    [Ca] Castus - Inactive Members

    Castus List
    Bish
    Cheese
    Dil
    Freckles
    Griff
    Iron_Void
    Kaze
    Ketch
    Lambo
    Loko
    Nella
    Puppet
    Regulus (Oc)
    Resh
    Shrub
    Sparx
    Switch
    Tetsu
    Zerieth

    [Oc] Occultus - Will
    Bob
    Doc
    Finny
    Moon
    Thread
    Bunz

    [Be] Bellator - Will
    Berri
    Dys
    Kago
    Minj
    Rob
    Shade

    [Aq] Aquila - Will
    Hare
    Sev
    Thana
    Val
    Vin
    Grif
    Bats

    The Rotation for the month of July 2017 is:

    [Be] -> [Aq] -> [Oc] -> [Be]

    Please post your thread titles beginning with your grading group, then the week number, like follows:
    [Ca] Week 01: Title Should Be Here

    Grades are due by 11:59 PM EST on Tuesday

  2. #2
    The Lurker <span style='color: #FFFFFF'><span class='glow_008080'>swaswj</span></span>'s Avatar
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    A Fond Memory 3 (3271)

    Great to see more writing from you. This underwater spire is intriguing and leaves me really curious what you're going to discover there. I really enjoyed Gwendolyn's depiction here, getting sucked into the process of deciphering runes while her teacher/partner gets impatient and just wants to go deeper into the complex. Musing on the struggles of the survivors of the Cataclysm, a time before terra regia had been harnessed for its remarkable properties and was instead dreaded for its after effects, added some interesting heaviness to the atmosphere.

    If I had any complaint, though, it was that I know, from previous entries, that this complex is underwater, but very little in the chapter reinforces that. You could do more to bring this into your descriptions, especially when referencing their movement, or doing things like writing underwater. It adds a surreal element and amplifies the setting, but a reader could easily miss or forget that this whole thing takes place underwater.

    There were small technical errors, but it feels like you've grown a lot as a writer when comparing this to your older works. It was a good read, building out lore and letting suspense begin to build. Keep going!

    +150 Faction

    Minja - 324/327 + 150 Faction

    Back in Action (1723)

    Laermont is back in action! Well, sort of action, at least. This was a quiet chapter but one thing I like is it really highlights the bonds between demvir, and the different perceptions of them. You have a pub for demvir where the upper society types mingle with others, the immediate willingness for many of them to help one of their own. Ziria's healthy skepticism was welcome, also, since it implies that she's still willing to help him, right or wrong, because he's a friend or just a fellow demvir.

    That theme flows through all the way to Mortuus, too, who gets the opposite impression. He despises Laermont because he's a demvir, too, but one that he sees as servile to the other races. I wonder if he'll ever look in the mirror and realize he's taking orders from one of the same.

    +100 Faction

    Moon - 172/172 + 100 Faction

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