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Thread: Grading Session for Week 172

  1. #1
    The Lurker <span style='color: #FFFFFF'><span class='glow_008080'>swaswj</span></span>'s Avatar
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    Grading Session for Week 172

    [Be] -> [Oc] -> [Aq] -> [Be]

    The grading groups and their graders are currently as follows:

    [Ca] Castus - Inactive Members

    Castus List
    Bats
    Bish
    Bob
    Bunz
    Cheese
    Dil
    Doc
    Freckles
    Griff
    Iron_Void
    Kago
    Kaze
    Ketch
    Lambo
    Loko
    Nella
    Puppet
    Resh
    Sev
    Shade
    Shrub
    Sparx
    Switch
    Thana
    Tetsu
    Vin
    Zerieth

    [Oc] Occultus - Will
    Finny
    Moon
    Thread

    [Be] Bellator - Will
    Berri
    Dys
    Minj
    Rob

    [Aq] Aquila - Will
    Hare
    Urm
    Val

    The Rotation for the month of November 2017 is:

    [Be] -> [Aq] -> [Oc] -> [Be]

    Please post your thread titles beginning with your grading group, then the week number, like follows:
    [Ca] Week 01: Title Should Be Here

    Grades are due by 11:59 PM EST on Tuesday

  2. #2
    The Lurker <span style='color: #FFFFFF'><span class='glow_008080'>swaswj</span></span>'s Avatar
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    Beyond the Grave, I Return (4560)

    Well, it took quite a while, but it's finally done! I've already written some of my thoughts before, so this will be relatively brief. This reads much better than the first attempt, because Rosa is actually presented with a conflict and has to take action to get herself out of it. One of the problems with the original draft was the general passivity of the protagonist. Once things got moving, you did a good job of drawing out Rosa's more imperious nature, more fitting for someone about to seize her own throne. I will say, however, that I would have liked to see more reaction from her, at least before she solidified her resolve.

    There's some roughness in the transitions between chapter and collab, and some typos survived, but all in all, this was good re-reading through it. Now to see what kind of sinister plots Rosa comes up with.

    Rob 220/228 + 100 FB
    Will ---/228

    Mother Inferior (1419)

    I put my comments in chat before, but I'll reiterate some of them here. This was a great read. There's some roughness with typos and a few spots where you started a sentence one way and switched it midway. The nitpicks are minor, because although short, your chapter kicked off an intriguing plot. I may be wrong, but I get the impression that this was the origin for the actual character you'll be writing about, and if I'm correct, I may have to have Keydis meet her sometime. Regardless, this took a very dark turn, but as a consequence, it feels like there's an immense wealth of potential: there's so many questions about the mother's family, what Amis is going to grow up to be like, what Cresh's history is, and whether either of them are destined for big things.

    Griff 135/142 + 100 FB

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