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  1. MoonlitRain014

    Pending Week 386: Second Strike - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 386: Second Strike by MoonlitRain014.
  2. MoonlitRain014

    Week 386: Second Strike

    On the rough side of Terminus, the sliver of shadow that was Torbru’s laicar assassin paused below a shabby apartment block and glanced up at a particular It seemed that Aeria Luxus was at home. Another bloody gash of a smile touched her features and she began slipping stealthily forward. The...
  3. MoonlitRain014

    Pending Week 384: The First Move Is Made - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 384: The First Move Is Made by MoonlitRain014.
  4. MoonlitRain014

    Week 384: The First Move Is Made

    Flitting quickly between the crowded people, the razor thin laicar woman trailed cautiously behind Eduard Tersius. Of all of the members of the conspiratorial little group, he was the least likely to expect a tail. She certainly wouldn’t have attempted to tail Laermont or Aeria Luxus. They...
  5. MoonlitRain014

    Pending Week 382: Into Shadow (3) - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 382: Into Shadow (3) by MoonlitRain014.
  6. MoonlitRain014

    Week 382: Into Shadow (3)

    I had known Professor Tersius for almost the entire time I had lived in Terminus. We had met as a result of my frequent days at the library in Sapientia Coetus, seeking as much knowledge as I could about The Outside Ones. The professor and I maintained a cordial relationship that began to grow...
  7. MoonlitRain014

    Pending Week 379: Into Shadow (2) - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 379: Into Shadow (2) by MoonlitRain014.
  8. MoonlitRain014

    Week 379: Into Shadow (2)

    I awoke to find the Outside Ones clustered around me. Their awful, slime-coated tentacles reached for me as they dangled below their gelid bodies, a foul mephitic odour emanating from them. I could feel the intense pressure battering away at the edges of my mind. Their voices were projected...
  9. MoonlitRain014

    Pending Week 376: Into Shadow (1) - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 376: Into Shadow (1) by MoonlitRain014.
  10. MoonlitRain014

    Week 376: Into Shadow (1)

    Out there, out in the darkness I can feel them. I can feel their relentless minds reaching with questing tendrils for me. Oh Vis! They feel like death, like crushing torture, like a soulless end to the world. You’ve never experienced such a horrible sensation of hunger until their minds have...
  11. MoonlitRain014

    Pending Week 373: Dissection and Damage - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 373: Dissection and Damage by MoonlitRain014.
  12. MoonlitRain014

    Week 373: Dissection and Damage

    The body that lay on the flat metal table was not a sight for those with weak stomachs. The fact that his skin lay on the next table, spread out like some ghastly flag was bad enough. His body’s inner workings were on full display. If that wasn’t enough, the chest cavity had been torn open in a...
  13. MoonlitRain014

    Reviewed Week 355: Paint By Numbers - Feedback

    Vertox is nasty as hell and you manage to convey that extreme sense of wrongness quite well. He sets my teeth on edge and that's a testament to your introduction to the character being well considered. I am viscerally disgusted by him. I do not in any way envy poor Cicada being under this...
  14. MoonlitRain014

    Reviewed Week 355: Wake - Feedback

    First of all -- welcome back! I feel that just leaping right into the action was an ideal way to write the awakening. You have made it all immediate, sharp and intense. Atmosphere oozes from the writing and immediately grabs the reader and immerses them. I enjoy the sense of disorientation and...
  15. MoonlitRain014

    Reviewed Collab - Week 351: The Hunt, Reprised - Feedback

    There is so much to unpack that I feel a bit overwhelmed, so I will focus on what really jumped out at me and that was something I consider an integral part of any good story and that is character interaction. The dynamics between El and Keydis were the strongest part of the collab for me...
  16. MoonlitRain014

    The Villains and Antagonists in Post Terminus

    I think that Val's comment about "the bottom line" being the biggest enemy is accurate. It's what has driven TorBru to misbehave to the point that they're willing to collaborate with alien forces bent on destroying Araevis to bring their eldritch masters to power, kidnap professors and...
  17. MoonlitRain014

    Reviewed [Collab] Week 349: Thanks For All The Fish! - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Collab] Week 349: Thanks For All The Fish! by MoonlitRain014.
  18. MoonlitRain014

    [Collab] Week 349: Thanks For All The Fish!

    Thanks For All The Fish! The muscled velen woman’s mind was clearly focused elsewhere as she made the meandering journey out of a hidden door, through the middle of a bustling warehouse and out another door into an alleyway in the midst of the enlil-dominated neighbourhood of Terminus...
  19. MoonlitRain014

    Reviewed [Lr] Week 340: Lineal Scratch - Feedback

    I am quite drawn in by the tales of Chase. I enjoy your characterizations and the way you move the action along, Beaks. I hope to learn from your writing and try to apply some of the lessons to my own. I am also enamoured of the way in which you meter out the story, letting the plot unravel at a...
  20. MoonlitRain014

    Music Vibe Thread

    I bet you guys didn't know I liked country music. Well here is proof that if its good, I'll like almost any kind of music: