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  1. swaswj

    Reviewed [Be] Week 228: A Home Away From Home - Feedback

    Kvetch... interesting word I've never heard before. I like that its meaning is clear in context despite being unfamiliar. Doesn't hurt that it sounds like another word you could use there. Speaking of word choices, though, one thing that I noticed is you tend to use the word 'had' more often...
  2. swaswj

    Reviewed [Oc] Week 227: The Return of the Professor - Feedback

    A third round of feedback in one day. As said before, I don't want to belabor the same points, so I'm going to focus on things distinct to this chapter. This is an exceedingly minor part of your chapter, but you mentioned Craxtus taking a steam dray to Yulia. I did not, in fact, have any idea...
  3. swaswj

    Reviewed [Oc/??] Week 226: Vita Hires a Detective! - Feedback

    I'm going to split my comments here because I have different things to say to both of you. Moon, I've said many times that your writing is good, it's solid. It's also lacking distinction, however. I don't want to belabor the point, but see my comments on Lost and Found for more detail there...
  4. swaswj

    Reviewed [Oc/Aq] Week 226: Lost and Found - Feedback

    I think I'll have to stop apologizing for taking so long to post comments on these. I'll admit from the start that this really did not draw me in at any point. I recognize that it's really just a vehicle to kickstart the search for Kincaid, and as that it serves its purpose, but it kept...
  5. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Arcanum Mission Name: Voices In the Night Commissioner: Count Elvaal Ambergris Rank: C Reward (Exa): 0 Reward (Other): Land Deed, see description. Description: Ambergris, the Seacliffs County Kingdom of Excelsus I hear voices coming from my parent's crypt at...
  6. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Nefastus Mission Name: Tame the Cave Ruler Commissioner: Harrik Lowfield Rank: C Reward (Exa): 1500 Reward (Other): Description: Bileca, the Casino Town Kingdom of Prendere Oscaligo handlers needed! Due to an unexpected turn of events and a lucky hand at...
  7. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Nefastus Mission Name: Who Am I? Commissioner: Graves Rank: C Reward (Exa): 0 Reward (Other): Description: Wire, the Shocking Village East of the Denuntiares Mountain Range Secare, the Sundered Land I don't remember who I am or where I'm from. No one here...
  8. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Commercium Mission Name: Treasure for Treasure Commissioner: Taylen J'orar Rank: B Reward (Exa): 0 Reward (Other): Treasure Map 3,000 exa bonus per yellow gem. See description. Description: Prodest, the Industrial City Kingdom of Prendere Taylen J'orar, of...
  9. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Nefastus Mission Name: Ufa Demvir Oaoz Dźalf Commissioner: Creatio Rota Rank: B Reward (Exa): 2500 Reward (Other): Description: Excelsa, the Walled Capital Kingdom of Excelsus Rhognhop nooj ka xehpipm. Gno uxpoh uc gno rhimng-qoggvo goenuyzo iz e joktih...
  10. swaswj

    Reviewed [Be] Week 229: Into The Little City - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Be] Week 229: Into The Little City by swaswj.
  11. swaswj

    [Be] Week 229: Into The Little City

    Into The Little City Wordcount: 5000 Keydis Lysistrata From up above, the Lupanar District looked like any other part of Terminus, like one of the nicer areas, in fact. The buildings were all six stories or higher, and as each street passed by, it looked like normal people going about their...
  12. swaswj

    [TWFNE] Week 226: Inner Light

    The foam and fumes engulfed Keydis, who reeled back and reflexively shook her sword arm to rid it off the noxious poison. Vision already swimming, she half thought the snap and crack of the stonework behind her was from the toxin until she felt a spray of gravel and the heavy thud of a chunk of...
  13. swaswj

    Reviewed [Be] Week 228: Radix Malorum - Feedback

    Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Be] Week 228: Radix Malorum by swaswj.
  14. swaswj

    [Be] Week 228: Radix Malorum

    Radix Malorum Wordcount: 2000 Naevius Squalidus The room was mostly dark, but for the red light shining around the edges of the blinds. It wasn't much to speak of, meeting the bare necessities of a hotel room, with one ratty bed, one well-worn dresser with an oil lamp perched on it, and a...
  15. swaswj

    [TWFNE] Week 226: Inner Light

    Under her breath, Keydis spat out a frustrated, "Of course," muscles moving before she could fully take in the rush of movement. Her left arm lifted and she felt the familiar sharp tugging under her skin, deep in between the muscles and sinew. The monstrous harpoon protruding from her arm buried...
  16. swaswj

    Forum BBcode help

    Yes, the codes are as follows: Image (default) Image Resized https://i.imgur.com/9u62p8c.png https://i.imgur.com/9u62p8c.png Image Resized + Float Lefthttps://i.imgur.com/9u62p8c.png https://i.imgur.com/9u62p8c.png Image Resized + Float Righthttps://i.imgur.com/9u62p8c.png...
  17. swaswj

    Reviewed Week 227: Tales of Terminus - Feedback

    I think there was a parable, actually, and it has similarities to the story of Job. There's no Satan figure in this one, but you start with a similar premise: Pistos is faithful and so he is blessed. Each day he shows his faith and is rewarded for it; he's built a reputation and lives as an...
  18. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Nefastus Mission Name: The Day the Water Seethed Commissioner: Mayor Soldin Rank: B Reward (Exa): 3000 Reward (Other): Description: Estevus, the Pocked Village Paludis, the Wild Morass The annual ceremony approaches. We must send our tithe to The Crone. Any adventurers...
  19. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Nefastus Mission Name: Ten Duel Commandments Commissioner: Bhort Irontoe Rank: B Reward (Exa): 0 Reward (Other): See description. Description: Excelsa, the Walled Capital Kingdom of Excelsus Seeking judge for a duel between two feuding individuals. Send word to Bhort...
  20. swaswj

    Mission Submissions

    User name: swaswj Fraternitas Mission Name: Strange Effigies Commissioner: Keltoris Rank: B Reward (Exa): 0 Reward (Other): Description: Flemmingshire Farm Plantation Hiemis, the Frozen Nation Hail, citizens. Some creature is stealing all of my dead leaves! To what purpose...