[11th] Week 283 : Heihachi Shimada

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Moodz

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Name: Heihachi Shimada

Contact info: |AIM| Moodz G

Age: twenty-one years old/ Appears: twenty-nine years old.

Physical Stature: Heihachi is a brute, built like a linebacker of sorts but nothing in the realm of an overweight man. With ideal weight to go along with his stature of six feet six inches. Heihachi Shimada has known features that have always been the something of a shocker. With the large scar that goes across his face that sits on upper portion of the nose just below his eyes, that is the biggest of things most tend to point out about this man when looking at him. Another notion is a scar over his left eye which appears to be inflicted by some kind of fight he might have been in at some point. The scar appears to be starting from the top of the left eye and goes straight down stopping just at the end of the eye socket. Fox like eye gives him a more sinister look as well his sharp yet curvature face which adds to him appearing two faced. An overly large mouth gives more notice of his grins and smiles which can lead anyone to think he is a bad guy when truth is told nobody knows what Heichachi Shimada is like on the surface.

Dark brown skin with a very fine line body hair makes Heihachi almost angelic in some ways and evil in others. Long dark brown hair which stems greatly down to his mid back area, keeping his bangs very short and out of the way from his face, though a small bit tends to still find its way around his forehead area, the man’s eyes are deep grey which sometimes mistakes most the idea that Heihachi Shimada is a blind man but again that is another mistake that is put on by others.


Persona: Heihachi is quick to the trigger when it comes to standing up for what he believes in. Even if those beliefs are considered wrong or backwards in the light everything that is laid out for him to follow. Heihachi has an issue with following orders even when they come from his peers that sit far above him in overall leadership. It can be something he just doesn’t quite think is needed to be of a great importance for him. Or he does it out of spite of wanting to get the better of others. But when he is needed for whatever the reason Heihachi doesn’t back down even if it were to cost him his life. Much was laid out about this man in the academy that where he lacks any real talent he more than makes up for in being fearless in any aspect that requires the most of him. The guy is really blunt he will never sugar coat when he speaks his mind about anything. He finds that its best to keep it straight and to the point.

Most of the time nobody likes the guy and he knows that. But still Heihachi doesn’t even let what others think of him bring his ability to play the same tunes his mind operates at. He’s not walking the path to make friends and create loved ones. The guy just wants to become the best he can be.


Origins: What has been collected about the man called Heihachi Shimada was that in fact he was a human. He lived as a regular guy in Osaka, Japan. His day job was simply a fisherman in which he ran a charter boat out of one of many harbors in that city. It was around the early 80’s that Heihachi fell into the family business. Back then it’s been noted greatly that his personality and attitude were very different from the Heihachi Shimada we know now. HE loved his father very much; the guy practically raised him and his two sisters all on his own. Nothing is really known about his siblings or his father. But the story of Heihachi Shimada took place right around the time he lost his only happiness in a great storm that hit Osaka.

It was a Friday afternoon, Heihachi was in town and around his 21st birthday his father let him drink and be a man for one day since he never had the opportunity to do much with his as a teenager. His family was one of many that had a fishing charter owned business. All of them shared cliental between each other as a way of showing great respect and honor. Mr. Shimada asked his son what he wanted most on his 21st birthday and with that question asked. Heihachi Responded, “One day in the city for me,” Giving his only son what he wanted the most. Because the shimada’s were a very hard working middle class family they never once took the time to relax. It was a mindset of all work and no play makes life go the right way.

His father gave Heihachi enough money to enjoy his day and come home the following day ready to work. With that smile set forth on his son’s face, Mr. Shimada took on a job he wasn’t very sure of. But it offered a lot of money should any of the families want to take this job. Discussing the job as a huge mafia like meeting, most of them checked every aspect of the job and one thing that stood out was the huge storm that was set to hit Osaka harbor and there was no telling just how bad it was out at sea.

“All that agree say I, But should anyone want to do this job remember what you do it for and why,”

One unofficial leader of sorts from one of the other fishing charter families speaks up as he tries to formulate a way to get an idea what everyone things after going over everything that could have been gone over as group. Standing up only a few short minutes, Mr. Shimada still wanted to do the job. He thought of his two girls and only son, should he take the job and complete his children will be able to attend college when they are ready.

“I do this work for my children and I do it for their future. I would take a job even if it meant my life because I work for their hopes and dreams”

Bowing their heads towards Mr. Shimada, the other families come to admire the man and show him a kind of respect that most get when they reach a certain level of peace. What he is willing to give makes the guy magical in ways that the other families can’t seem to bring themselves to achieve. Mr. Shimada says one more thing to his two daughters who stand beside and to the families.

“Please for whatever happens, watch over my daughters, but help Heihachi because I have yet to teach him the lesson of self sacrifice that one should know about before becoming a man in this world. Don’t let whatever happens to me sallow him whole. Can you promise me this? “

Nodding and bowing in regards to his wishes, the other families agree to do everything for Mr. Shimada’s children and try to take everything down as a document for them when they are ready to know the truth. His two daughters Saya and Bee hugged their dear father with all that they could; they too did it out of love and out of habit as they don’t get to go with him when he goes on these trips. Full of tears and heartfelt love the two daughters cry as they don’t like watching him leave out to sea for long periods of time. “Please watch over your brother he will need you guys more than anything,” Wiping away their tears of love and sorrow, the two girls shake their heads toward their father out of respect and understanding for him.

Grabbing his things along with preparing his ship for a departure, the only people that travel with Mr. Shimada is his crew and the people that paid for the charter on such a dangerous trip to fish in such crazy weather. Everyone knows and understands that such a trip as this can be life threatening but still they have the option to take the trip should they pay for it. Since word came through that Mr. Shimada has volunteered and now the only charter to take on the trip a lot of high profile clients wanted to take this fishing trip with chances of catching a lot as well paying for all expenses.

Watching Mr.Shimada’s boat named | Heihachi | drift out to sea along the banks of the shore the boat fade away into the thick fog that hangs over the bay area of Osaka, Japan.

Minutes turned into hours as the storm finally reached the shores of Osaka and with that most of the harbor docks were hit with a huge tsunami that nearly took out most of the local cities and farmland further in. Being that Heihachi was nowhere near this devastation as he was more closer to the larger parts of the cityscape though still not affected they still got warnings of this magnitude reaching its doorsteps.

Waking up the following day, Heihachi has his first splitting headache as he hit almost every bar and dance club he could find. When he finally shook off the headache he took the first cab back to his home to tell his father all about it. Oblivious to what has happened or where his father went or anything on that matter, Watching as the cab driver turns on the radio the local news talks of a huge tsunami that hit the bay area of Osaka and taking out most of the area in the process. Heihachi heart sank into his stomach as he grows worried with despair. “Father... Driver please hurry I need to get home,” Driving like a bat out of hell, the cab driver picks up speed only to stop shortly after to see trees and nearby houses rocked in the disastrous terrain that was caused by the tsunami and storm.

After much of his travels on foot, Heihachi can’t help but worry over his sisters and father. Their well being is all he wishes to seek out. Watching as so much wreckage stood in all directions of the harbor area. Taking Heihachi nearly hours just to find anyone he knew to get any idea of his family. One such family that worked alongside his father screamed out to heihachi from behind him. The look on Heihachi’s face was that of a scared and helpless child that felt true sadness in an instant.

“Please where is my family,” Tears pouring out of his eyes, Heihachi’s voice is weak and timid as he hopes to hear something to bring back that light that seems to have gradually slipped away. The old man who appeared frailer and out of it, the sight of the old man before Heihachi looked like he was staring at some kind of living skeleton from the physical appearance that he got from him right then and there.

“ Your father is gone...We lost him at sea, your sisters were with another family that was held underneath a shelter nearby but they too along with that family were taken in this storm,” And just like that Heihachi had nothing left to live for, nothing left to push him onward. It was in those exact moments that the cheerful young man grew into a empty shell of pure madness. His entire attitude shifted along with the personality that held a sort of spark for life and everything it gave to each and everyone he knew.

It wasn’t long before Heihachi grew distant from his former friends and being that his father had left for him sums of money to be used for his college plans. Heihachi drank it all away along with excessive amounts of drugs which in the long run came to his untimely death.

The rest soon after was history and he woke to find himself into a strange new world where everything felt more like a dream an less like reality. And so continues the path of Heihachi Shimada...

Stats:


Reiastu – 100
Zanjutsu - 60
Hakuda – 30
Hohou - 10
Kidou – 0
Items –
Feats [Empty]

Sample Chapter:

in the process of writing it...Not yet finished..
 

Rob

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Hoo boy, so many people for the Eleventh. So unfair! Anyway, I'm Rob and I'll give you a quick run-through before you finish your application in its completion (at which point we'll do a full review).

Now, first things first, and I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but... 21 years old is a massive no-go. You have to realize that most souls get into Rukongai after they die, which means they had a life before death. What's worse, your character died at age 21 and then immediately became a shinigami. No, you'd have to at least spend a couple of years in Rukongai, and then 6 years still in the Academy. I'm sorry, but I will not allow characters of under the age of at least 50. Visually, I honestly don't care. They could be an infant if that's what you want, but true age has to be over 50 or I can't even approve this for Final Drafts based on that alone.

Now, something that I'm noticing early on is your confusion with 'a, an and the', and then especially between a/an and the. I would like to direct you toward the following site: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/adjectives-determiners-the-a-an.htm

I would like to ask you to look at it, read it and then look over your own application once more to see if you can't find anything that should be fixed - if you don't, let me know and I'll help you through them.

Also, I have to point this out, but... when you talk about him being a brute, having a ton of scars, fox like eyes and an overly large mouth that create almost scary smiles and grins... how did you come to the conclusion that, in conjunction with his body tone, he looks angelic? That's a contradiction if I ever did see one. You can't be a brute, yet still look angelic at the same time, because then you're either not a brute, or not angelic.

Pick one, and stick with it.

Now, as for his persona. Very interesting. Very interesting that you also chose the Eleventh for him. Yeah, I suppose it suits his bruteness, and bluntness... but, be warned: everyone in the Eleventh is stronger than you, and everyone in the Eleventh has exactly the same traits as your character does (albeit slightly different for each one). Pull too many of his persona's stunts and you will end up in the Fourth, bleeding profoundly. A lot. Heihachi has, what we like to call, the badass syndrome, but that's kind of where the problem lies: you start out with 100 reiatsu. You're not a badass. The strongest captain beside the Captain-Commander is my character, sitting at 80,000 reiatsu. Would you really want to decide not to follow her orders? Now, I'm not saying axe. Quite the contrary, actually. We have a writer who has somewhat of the same deal going on, Vince, and he's made it work pretty well - even if we did end up mellowing him out over time.

All I'm saying is, stick true to your character, even if you do end up getting tossed into jail or the fourth more times than you can count. It'll give you so much more respect around here, but know that you've chosen a difficult path.

--

Now, for your background. Oh boy. First of all, I appreciate you wanting to flesh out your character fully, but this is a little much. For application purposes, we're really only looking for a sample of his background. We don't need to know his entire repertoire already, show it to us in your writing! Just give us a brief summary of his background, where he came from, how he ended up in Rukongai, why he decided to choose for the Eleventh - for instance - those kinds of things.

But, don't axe this either. Keep it, and post it up on your profile once you get accepted into the RP, because that's when it's a good time to do. Now, I don't want to fill your mind with too much work just yet, but one final thing I would like to point out is that you really need to make sure you've got your tenses right. This RP, Halcyon Days, writes in the past tense and third person perspective only - though, and this is very rarely, sometimes some of our writers opt for a present tense, first person perspective for story purposes, but those are usually our older/veteran writers.

So, while you're doing all this, check your writing for tense mix-ups. Change them if you can, but if you can't find them on your own, again, let me know and I'll help you through them.

Good luck, and welcome!
 
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Rob

Pew Pew Pew
Apr 1, 2009
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Hey, Rob here, it's been a while since you last posted, but I just wanted to let you know that a while back we decided to up the starting stats for new characters to 1000! (Thanks Katie for pointing that out to me)

So, if you're still working on that new character, or still wish to continue, you can alter your stats!
 

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