[5th] Week:251 Kelly Roku

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<div class="bbWrapper">Name: Kelly Roku<br /> <br /> Contact Info: <br /> <br /> Age: 137 ( looks mid twenties)<br /> <br /> Physical Stature: Fairly tall Roka measures around six foot one with a more slender build, weighing in at one-hundred and seventy five pounds. His jet black hair can only be described as an unkempt mess as it can be seen jetting out every which way from under his knit beanie. His dull blue eyes tend to hide behind his half opened eyelids which are complete with matching bags from lack of sleep; the lower half of his face is decorated with a five o clock shadow that seems stay the same length no matter how much time passes. <br /> <br /> His shitage and kosode are both tucked in, but left slightly loose revealing his stomach. Roka prefers to keep his feet bare, feeling that shoes aren’t really all the important.<br /> <br /> Persona: Aloof by nature and humble by choice, Kelly is a good man at heart. He isn’t the brightest and he definitely isn’t the strongest, but he is a down to earth, all around good guy. <br /> <br /> Preferring to lounge about and enjoy nature then work, his reluctance wears off eventually and he gets the job done at some point. Making him a good second choice when it comes to chores and tasks handed out in the division.<br /> <br /> Due to his lack of attention span, he will usually tend to ask things twice or obliviously make unrelated remarks of his surroundings or what some consider unimportant events. The young Shinigami also has a terrible grasp on time, usually showing up too early or extremely late; this coupled with the fact he would forget his own head if it weren’t attached makes for some interesting days.<br /> <br /> Biography: Born in eighteen-fifty-one to a family of farmers in newly discovered western territories of the new world, his father, like many others, jumped at the opportunity to up-root his family on the east coast and rush out west to claim land. Eventually they settled down in the Dakota Territory where Kelly lived for most of his life. <br /> <br /> The Shinigami-to-be’s father was a good honest man, believing firmly in “you reap what you sow.” He tried to instill his beliefs in the young Kelly. But to his dismay the young teen was just too uninterested in farming the land to learn. <br /> <br /> On his twenty-fourth birthday, the newly minted man set out on his journey to find himself. After traveling a few miles from his home, he was attacked by a tribe of passing natives. He was scalped and left on the side of an unmarked dirt road, left for the buzzards and coyotes to pick at his corpse.<br /> <br /> SHINIGAMI<br /> <br /> Division / Seat: 5th, unseated<br /> <br /> Zanpakutou: In its sealed form, Kelly’s zanpoktou takes the shape of a Nodachi with a rectangular shaped cross guard. <br /> <br /> Stats: <br /> <br /> Reiatsu: 100<br /> Zanjutsu: 50<br /> Hakuda: 50<br /> Hohou: 0<br /> Kidou: 0<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Stepping into the light, the young Shinigami felt the warm embrace of the sun on his skin and the soft dirt beneath his bare feet; things that he hadn’t felt in what seemed like centuries. <br /> <br /> “That nap sure hit the spot.” He exclaimed after releasing a booming yawn. Raising his hands high above him and groaning, Kelly stretched towards the sky, getting his body loose for the day ahead. <br /> <br /> Immediately afterwards he thrusted his hands into his pockets and began to wander down the streets of the outer Rukongai districts. Nodding to the local shopkeepers as he went about his business, but as the black haired Shinigami strolled along he couldn’t help but feel like he had forgotten something. Trying to jump start his memory, Kelly began padding himself down, however much to his own dismay he couldn’t remember for the life of him. <br /> <br /> “Yoo! Kelly!” A voice boomed from behind the man. As Roku turned to match a face to the voice, he was struck from behind with a spear like tackle. Both the young Shinigami and the unknown assailant tumbled to the ground,<br /> <br /> Looking up, Kelly noticed that his attacker was a small girl by the name of Sky, she was a local orphan and could always be found causing trouble around the market. “C’mon on now, Missy, you’re gonna hurt me one day!” He whined in a jovial tone. “You know I’m too weak to take you on.” Added the Shinigami.<br /> <br /> “You’re darn right you can’t take me on! I’m just too tough for you!” Huffed Sky, puffing out her chest, “One day I’m gonna be the strongest Shinigami ever! Then you’ll be my bitch.” The girl continued sticking out her tongue.<br /> <br /> “Woah there little missy, let’s just take it one day at a time.” Kelly replied, smiling at the waist high lass. He patted her on the as he said his goodbyes and continued on his way down the dirt road. <br /> Stretching as far as the eye can see, the path he traveled seemed like it was never ending. Hours had passed since he had been in the busy streets of the market place, now he walked through the woods, whistling a tune to break the eerie silence of nature. <br /> Just a few feet away the trees broke away, leading into a large empty field. The wind began to blow harder than it had previously, to the point where the light-skinned man had to adjust the knit cap on his head so he wouldn’t lose it. The further and further he went into the field; a more and more ominous feeling came over him. Then, reaching the center point an evil Reiatsu washed over the lad. <br /> Now, standing before him was a large, gorilla like hollow. Its wretched being could only be described as disgustingly malevolent. Realizing the danger he was in, Kelly reached for his Zanpoktou, as he was about to unsheathe his blade a feeling of horror befell him. <br /> Kelly Roku, the man who would forget his own head if it wasn’t attached finally remembered what he had forgotten that morning; his blade. Looking back at the hollow he could only muster up the ability to utter one short phrase. “Shitty”<br /> <br /> The hollow let out a roar and with one swipe of its mighty arm, the vile beast swatted the Shinigami away like the fly he was. Its claws tearing through his flesh as if it were paper, the man flew a few feet before his body hit the ground like boulders. Rolling over, blood billowed out of his mouth and wounds. As the hollow approached he began to fade in and out of consciousness. All he could see was the shape of the hideous creature moving towards him, ready to rip the flesh from his bones and devour his soul. <br /> In an instant his whole body was cold, but he couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t a I’m dead cold, but more like I’m wet cold.<br /> <br /> <i>“hey, wake up you idiot.” </i><br /> <br /> With those words he sprung up from a make shift bed on the floor of what seemed to be a small one roomed cabin. Gathering his thoughts and trying to make sense of what had happened, Kelly reached for his chest. Instead of skin he felt only bandages and pain, what had happened was real, but then again. He couldn’t help but wonder; what really happened?<br /> <br /> “How ya feeling, sport?” Concerned a voice, it came from a shadowy figure perched across the room. <br /> <br /> “Well I’ve deffinitly had better days, that’s for sure.” The Shinigami groaned as he examined the injuries to his body. <br /> <br /> Stepping out from the shadows the man revealed himself, he was around the same height as Kelly, even the same build. However this gentleman was much older, even having a hunch to his posture. Much of his faced covered by a long, grey beard; the little bit of skin that could be seen was leathered and wrinkled. “When I found you, it looked like you were about ready to kick the bucket.” Chuckled the Grey-beard.<br /> <br /> “I don’t remember kicking any buckets around, but I’ll take your word for it old man.” He responded naively. After a few minutes of chatting and getting accustomed to his surroundings, Kelly noticed that his favorite hat was missing off of his head. His head darted from one side of the room to the other, his eyes scanning every nook and cranny. Frantically he rose to his feet, a little sketchy at first but the half dead man managed to keep his footing. <br /> <br /> The old man let out a chuckled, “You really outta be careful there, don’t wanna open up those wounds dumbass.” <br /> <br /> “A grey knit cap.” Sneered the young man.<br /> <br /> “Excuse me?” Gray-beard questioned in confusion<br /> <br /> Kelly moved about the room, looking under books, dishes, and paper, anywhere it could possibly be hiding. “It’s a grey beanie cap, it has a white ball on top, kinda looks like a the hat the jolly old fat fella wears”<br /> <br /> “Oho! I know what you mean, its right here.” He said handing the boy his cap. Kelly took back his hat with a smile and quickly returned it to its rightful atop his head. As the two made small talk over drinks, a familiar energy blanketed the area. <br /> <br /> The hollow had returned, it would not be robbed of its prey. <br /> <br /> Word Count: 1,063</div>

Stephen Tetsu

New Member
Jun 2, 2009
Hi there. I'm Tits and I'll be reviewing your application.

First things first, Imma need you to bold your section headings. It just makes things a little easier for us cranky app-staffers to look through your app and draw from particular sections. Plus, it looks prettier.

Aaand before I get super in-depth into your app, I'm gonna ask you to give your application the good old "ugly prom date" treatment, meaning that I want you to look over everything for basic typos, grammar errors, spelling mistakes, and things of that nature. I was able to find quite a few in the span of a few seconds.

So I'm just gonna leave this here and continue with your review once your thingies are all bolded and stuff.


Tits out.

PS, you can come into our AIM chatroom ('mangaden'). There are normally people in there who are more than happy to help with any questions and issues you may have. Yup yup.


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