Pending [Be] Week 217: From the Ashes - Feedback

Sep 22, 2009
Hi Dys! I said I'd review your pchap and here I am doing so! First off, I have no beefs with the technical, mechanical aspects of the writing here at all. I wouldn't expect that to happen though. You're good :)

I enjoyed the different elements that made up the pchap. There was some excellent description of the city, the general sensations of the streets and the sense of rebuilding that characterizes that segment of town at the time in which Ignis was there. The emotional desolation that Ignis feels and the way in which Amicus tries to help his contractor are also really beautifully done.

The sense of emptiness that you express for Ignis definitely came through. I could feel her emotional devastation and the subsequent numbness and daze strongly. She really hasn't recovered from the strains and stresses of everything that's happened to her, but she refuses to let that recovery happen.

Finally there's the sense that she is being swept along to Arctoa because she wants to be with Deni and to have Aeria around as well, but not because her old zeal for adventure has returned. There's a sense that something internal was drastically altered and that alteration is likely permanent.

All in all, it was a superb pchap! :D

Writing Week is 219

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