Reviewed [Be] Week 228: Radix Malorum - Feedback


Feb 20, 2010
Naev is a fuckin' riot, man. I like how you've taken his plot as an opportunity to weave a bunch of people together, all contributing a small part to Naev's Big Plan. It's interesting to see everything sorta slotting together - even if you did show me your sorta rough draft for how it'd all work out.

the idea of food luring naev back to sex BED is really magical btw

there's almost this sorta noire vibe going on with how Naev interacts with people in this chapter, and I both didn't expect it and am digging it. it's interesting to see how Naev BASICALLY chameleons himself to sorta fit in and suit whatever his environment is - again, my only critique I can even think to make is to avoid making him seem TOO good in your chapters. I don't think we've seen enough o' Naev to really worry about him seeming Sue-ish or all-knowing yet...BUT. IT COULD BE A CONCERN (yes i know he literally had other people help with his plan because he couldn't handle it all himself but still).

pls to be having next collab now <3

Writing Week is 231

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