Reviewed [Be] Week 229: Into The Little City - Feedback


Feb 20, 2010
MENTIONED THIS WHILE I WAS READING IT, but god damn any time you take the time to start developing the world, even (especially) through something as simple and banal as chatting about the most efficient cable route to take to get across Terminus, I EAT THAT SHIT UP. It reads so naturally, so smoothly, and really helps the world feel alive, breathing, just a city full o people and whatnot. It's easy to gloss over those sorts of minor details when you're writing in a bigger, more elaborate magic-y fantasy environment, I feel, so it pleases me that those details come so easily in your writing. A++

Plot-wise, I LIKE IT, I DIG IT, seeing Keydis super casual and easily confident in herself while she's in the bowels of CRIME-TOWN is cool - and fits her character. I appreciated her sneaky way of hunting down her poor Caradin, and also love how you tie in Key's regular bounty huntin' work with her current target (AGAIN, i envy your ability to build on established shit in a natural way), and I also really liked the bar setting and scene you sorta ended the chapter on. I GOT THIS WEIRD, ALMOST that-one-hotel-from-john-wick VIBE from the bar, specifically when they intervened to keep poor drunk budd from ruining himself blabbing all over the table. VERY CLEVER.

double-A++, looking forward to seein' Key actually catch up with Leon.~


Staff Member
Dec 30, 2012
I enjoyed this chapter quite a bit. It was nice to see Parker get a cameo; I haven't written him in so long, but you stayed true to what I remember about him. It's very in character for him to keep people from getting themselves into big trouble. He's a peacemaker, that way. Keydis' struggles with finding information because of her brash attitude and lack of understanding of the underworld are refreshing. I'm curious to see how Keydis' snooping goes.

Writing Week is 231

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