Reviewed [Be] Week 238: First Lesson - Feedback

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Waaa that description of a sleepy/lethargic day at the beginning makes ME FEEL SO SLEEPY AND LETHARGIC, gosh Ky did you even want feedback for this?? *side-eyes their bed*

NNNNNGGG.

Okay, fine! FINE!

As per usual with most of your writing these days, this reads very well and has a nice, natural flow to it the whole way through. You set the scene nicely and then smoothly flow into the meat of the chapter, and even though you had SOME CHONKY-ASS PARAGRAPHS in there, honestly I didn't even notice that when I was actually reading so clearly you broke them up just right.

I love the mention that Keydis suspects that the vitatium Nyct got for her is stolen but has adopted a stubborn DONT ASK DONT TELL policy on it because SHE WANTED IT OKAY!! I like characters who have strong morals and stuff, but it's really good to see that people are PEOPLE - they make concessions and struggle to hold on to those morals sometimes, especially over small or minor things. UNWAVERING MORALITY NO MATTER WHAT is more of an anime thing. And I think, makes characters end up feeling too one-dimensional.

Speaking of fleshing characters out, very clever of you to have switched Keydis over from the MENTEE role to the MENTOR role so you can still provide interesting and in-depth explanations for the reader without it seeming like unnecessary baggage. Her testing Nyct's upper limits is smart, and the way she poses questions to them and provides explanations is good while also staying in-character for her. That is, she explains it in a very KEYDIS way. Nyct is a cutey and I like their thirst for knowledge while also being weirdly stubborn about what teaching they happily accept and what teaching they think is SUPER GARBO TIME-WASTING.

THE CHAPTER ENDS STARTLINGLY ABRUPTLY THOUGH LIKE DID YOU HAVE MORE AND JUST CUT IT OFF AT THE KNEES OR WHAT-
 

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