Reviewed [Be] Week 265: Ante et Retro - Feedback

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MoonlitRain014

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THERE IS A LOT HERE! I shall start with the stuff that I really enjoyed though. I really enjoyed the flow of the dialogue that you got going. Everyone's got a really nice back and forth happening. The dialogue is also in character, so that everybody sounds like I'd expect them to sound which is good.

Honestly, having not followed your plot as well as I should have, I will admit that some of the stuff going on went over my head. I realize that's my own fault, but perhaps a bit of back-shadowing might be in order, so that people can kinda drop in a bit more easily.

El is a character that I am fond of, but I also like that you have put a lot of effort into characterizing everyone else as well which I appreciate. The interplay between the cast is well done.

THE MAIN COMPLAINT that I had was that sometimes the time transitions jangled a bit. It kinda jumped back and then forth in a bit of a jerky way, but I do appreciate what you were trying to do. The whole ante et retro thing was fun. Like I say, I appreciate the way things were done but sometimes I felt like I was being heaved back and forth a bit much.

SO...overall I hope to read more of El's crazy escapades and as always, your writing itself was great. I like your turns of phrase and your general writing persona. ANYHOW HOPE THAT HELPS?!

Also my reviews are terribly short, so do pardon that fact!
 

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