Dys - 145/151 + 100 Faction = 245 + 245 SFB = 490
This quiet little interlude is a great chance to get into Eden's head, and I like seeing that she's consistently over-cautious. It's a trait of a shrewd business owner which I imagine would only be more important with questionable legality in the mix. The mention of her mother's business was surprising. I'm still curious why she's interested in Harper to begin with, but seeing how she's handling the Ignis factor is intriguing. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes.
The mistakes in this chapter were minor, none of them detracting from the overall. Briefly: a few missed capitalizations, putting punctuation outside of dialogue once, and some missing hyphenation.
+100 Faction
Meanwhile, Back At the Ranch (1512) 145/151
Fin - 210/215 + 21 Consec = 231 + 231 SFB = 462
The rhyming was killing me. I'm actually glad you stopped. It's one thing to rhyme on beat, but there was no rhythm to this rhyming, which makes it hardly rhyme at all!
I like that sign/banner you made, although if it has anything secretive in it, I can't make it out. The story-telling in this was fairly abrupt and to the point. I'm glad to see the payoff after all the work that went into the gameshow story and prepping the tavern, but this felt very dry compared to your normal work. However, your brand of humor is always appreciated, with some of your quirkier customers (Vacca, the D, Sistine), helping to liven things up. It's nice to see Varon back in the spotlight, as well.
Grand Opening (2153) 210/215
Val - 145/148 + 100 Faction = 245 + 245 SFB = 490
Deni is pretty hilarious, I have to say. I chuckled several times during the chapter. One thing that caught my attention was the difference between the avian and Tora, with Tora seeming like a generic meathead archetype but the enlil being shrewd and quick-witted in comparison. The enlil seems like someone I'd expect to be set to watch Deni. It makes me wonder if Tora has some hidden talent to warrant his being on the case.
+100 Faction
Guards for Cards (1478) 145/148
Hare - 127/129 + 13 Consec + 100 Faction = 240 + 240 SFB = 480
The confusion between 'Kincaid' and 'Duilius' is a nice take on the idea of living a false persona. I rather enjoy the way that doing what Duilius would do is becoming more the norm, with the act becoming the reality. The setup for the twist at the end felt a little weak, unfortunately. It feels as if more information was needed to justify the jump from "a lot of the pictures were women in a particular pose" to "there's a murderer painting his victims." Was there mention of murdered women before, perhaps in a previous chapter I haven't read? I'm not sure, because it wasn't referenced.
Oh, and 'nearby' is just one word, no hyphen needed.
+100 Faction
What Would Happen? (1290) 127/129