Reviewed [Lr] Week 340: Lineal Scratch - Feedback

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Redfin

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Haha. I read this chapter before putting up the last review.

Anyway, here is where you can see a real difference between how Chase speaks with Cribbage compared to how he interacts with the store keepers. It is interesting that Chase has to be the distraction, and he has to do it by talking. That is a real uncomfortable situation. They managed to get through it okay, though maybe the stutter does add to the storekeeper thinking Chase is just a naturally nervous person.

Some of the dialogue between Chase and Cribbage when they were separated felt a bit unclear, but that was more on me for not remembering they can communicate telepathically.

Well, it seems like both sides have a twist for the other.
 

MoonlitRain014

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I am quite drawn in by the tales of Chase. I enjoy your characterizations and the way you move the action along, Beaks. I hope to learn from your writing and try to apply some of the lessons to my own. I am also enamoured of the way in which you meter out the story, letting the plot unravel at a comfortable pace. It can be tough (at least for me) to pace things. I tend to want to rush so it's nice to see a writer who doesn't. All I can say otherwise is that I look forward to reading your next chapter!
 

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