Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Oc] Week 304: The Wolf and the Barking Dog by Apollo.
Oof. "100 bigs" sounds like 100 bigatium which is 1000 exa. Dahls would make more sense here if it was an expensive trip.
Surprising to see Aeneas here after being told he was in Excelsa in the previous chapter. I went into the mansion assault assuming this was a flashback of some kind. A brief mention of the time it would take to contact Aeneas and have him travel from Secare to Terminus would have helped. It would highlight how serious Apollo is, particular if he was making additional preparations during the wait.
Right after I praised the previous chapter for being a good portrayal of the criminal elements, this one actually disappointed me. There didn't seem to be any logical reason why Astylos would be unguarded, even accounting for hubris, and after making a threat like that, I feel like Apollo and Aeneas would be killed in their sleep. Being attacked in his own home doesn't look good on a crime boss. Also, while it may be a bit of a trope in these setups, I always found the 'if you kill me, everyone will hunt you down' threats to be really empty. If that's the route, I'd prefer details. Maybe Scylax is devoted to Astylos for some reason, maybe Tycho has a more competent older brother who would take over. There isn't enough meat behind the threats, on both sides, to make them credible.
Ultimately, Apollo breaks in, demands an apology, and gets asked to pay 20k to return to status quo. Even if Astylos sticks to the deal instead of giving a kill order as soon as they're gone, Apollo loses in every sense of the word here. I suppose we'll have to wait and see if that's what happens, of course.
Surprising to see Aeneas here after being told he was in Excelsa in the previous chapter. I went into the mansion assault assuming this was a flashback of some kind. A brief mention of the time it would take to contact Aeneas and have him travel from Secare to Terminus would have helped. It would highlight how serious Apollo is, particular if he was making additional preparations during the wait.
Right after I praised the previous chapter for being a good portrayal of the criminal elements, this one actually disappointed me. There didn't seem to be any logical reason why Astylos would be unguarded, even accounting for hubris, and after making a threat like that, I feel like Apollo and Aeneas would be killed in their sleep. Being attacked in his own home doesn't look good on a crime boss. Also, while it may be a bit of a trope in these setups, I always found the 'if you kill me, everyone will hunt you down' threats to be really empty. If that's the route, I'd prefer details. Maybe Scylax is devoted to Astylos for some reason, maybe Tycho has a more competent older brother who would take over. There isn't enough meat behind the threats, on both sides, to make them credible.
Ultimately, Apollo breaks in, demands an apology, and gets asked to pay 20k to return to status quo. Even if Astylos sticks to the deal instead of giving a kill order as soon as they're gone, Apollo loses in every sense of the word here. I suppose we'll have to wait and see if that's what happens, of course.