Reviewed The Basal Lake - As Above, So Below - Feedback

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Redfin

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There's no individual feedback threat for In A Barrel or Eyes on you, this will be for all three threads.

For As Above, So Below, the setup to this thread is pretty cool. It gives enough time for people to spread out and get settled into the ship for a bit, and everyone needs to figure out what they're doing during that time. I liked Gwen's exploration and mapping out the ship. It's cool how it came in handy later.

The entire situation was pretty cool and dire. Being trapped on a sinking submarine with the goal of trying to find the one person causing it is pretty interesting. Splitting it off into two concurrent threads also made it pretty interesting. Still, I think the ten minute time limit was a bit short when everyone in one thread moved sequentially rather than simultaneously.

Will, Garus was an interesting character. He felt like an obstacle in addition to finding the saboteur. I certainly slowed down Amanita's actions to avoid getting shot again, having her not do anything sudden and things like that. I know you didn't want to solve the situation you created yourself, but it felt like Garus was doing even less than that.

I think the smaller focus of Eyes on You made for a more interesting thread. With only three characters wandering about, it gave more breathing time, so speak, that allowed them to talk during travel time. Though I do wonder why you're running around like the saboteur has to physically sabotage components on the submarine. Is the giant magic storm not going to destroy the submarine without any further actions?

Seeing them get to figure out who was the conduit was fun. Too bad it was too late. Strangely, there was a mirror with the In a Barrel part where Micali also came to a similar conclusion about the conduit, though also too late.

Overall, the situation on board the ship was really interesting. The short time limit built a more frantic tension rather than a paranoid one. It was too bad my plan took too long.
 
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