[V] Week 209: Shukumei Junichi

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Valero

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Well hi there you sons of biscuits! Guess who's returned! Ehhhh, I been in the chatroom for a little while y'all should have noticed by now. Let's get this ball a rollin'...

Name: Shukumei Junichi

Contact Info: Valerodude (AIM)

Age: Looks 15, but is actually 106

Physical Stature: Shukumei stands at approximately 5’4” tall and weighs about 120 pounds, a slender build and not particularly muscular. His eyes are a deep blue and his hair is a copper colour, the style layered with the fringe symmetrically parted in the middle, though it would just about cover his eyes if it was left to drop. His hair reaches his jawline in length and is minorly scruffy. When in spiritual form, he wears the standard shinigami shihakushou, but they appear a size too big and consequentially look baggy on him.

Persona: Originally, Shukumei was a stuttering, timid kid when he passed the academy. He entered the Tenth division with a fear of Hollows and a questionably innocent outlook that led people to believe he would be better suited for the Fourth division. He had no problem interacting with others although he tried his best to avoid conflict, such as withdrawing his own opinion if it clashed with somebody elses. Shukumei always enjoyed learning about new people and expanding his knowledge of Kidou, and could always be found studying or practising spells to himself if there was nobody else to interact with.

Since his Hollowfication, the arcane practitioner’s personality has taken a change in direction. He is far less timid than he was when he first started in the Tenth division, although he still retains a innocent outlook on the surface. As a vizard, he enjoys learning about the human world and their culture to retain his interest in others, as most shinigami he comes across want to capture him or kill him. He no longer fears Hollows, as he has killed too many to count, and his Hollowfication has give him a greater understanding as to how they work. While his fighting persona was more cautious and analytical when he was a shinigami, he has developed a wild and sometimes unpredictable way of fighting which is a complete contrast to how he interacts outside of the battlefield.


Biography: Originally from District Fifty-Six of Rukongai, Shukumei lived what would be considered a ‘normal’ life. One day on his daily walk, he was attacked by three thugs. Cowering in fear, he fell to the ground when something unexpected happened; his reiatsu condensed and protected him from the ruffian’s blows. Confused, the thugs fled and, as luck would have it, a shinigami in the area at the time approached him to speak about what had happened. After deciding that the boy had a higher reiatsu signature than other Rukongai citizens, the shinigami advised him to join the Spiritual Arts Academy, an offer that the ever-terrified Shukumei was originally reluctant to take. Eventually, he joined if it would mean that he could use his spiritual signature to help people and he passed the entry exam.

After passing the academy, he joined the Tenth division and began his endless practise of Kidou and making new friends. After several hardships and lots of training, his skills were recognised and he was given the position of eighteenth seat. As his fighting skills and tactical mind evolved, he was trusted with leading a squad during a vital mission to the world of the living, and promoted to sixteenth seat during celebrations following the success of said mission.

Not long after the celebratory party that followed, however, came the assignment that changed him. While on a routine patrol he was attacked by a powerful Hollow and he fought to buy his allies time to return to Seireitei. In the process, however, his inner world collapsed and he became Hollowfied, outright destroying the Hollow and beginning his life anew as a vizard.

Zanpakutou: Shukumei’s sealed form is a wakizashi with an eighteen inch blade. The hilt is coloured black, patterned with red diamond shapes in a line from the end to the guard. The tsuba is a shape similar to a shuriken, except with three edges instead of four and they curve to look like three number ‘6’s coloured red and black.

Stats:
Reiatsu: 9,733 (Masked: 11,680)
~ Gekijin ~ 10,706 ~ (Masked: 12,652)
Zanjutsu: 2,040 (Masked: 2,448)
Hakuda: 254 (Masked: 305)
Hohou: 1,000 (Masked: 1,200)
Kidou: 6,439 (Masked: 7,727)

Hitotsu: Demon Fist, Hadou #5, 15 Kidou
Futatsu: Sou Ryo Meku, Hadou #13, 43 Kidou
Mitsu: Hainawa, Bakudou #4, 13 Kidou

Feats:
[Spell Diversity]
[Gekiretsu Rippuku]
[Empty]

Kan: 1,200

He used his additional Vizard tech slots to carry Mahoubai and Signature from the Tenth.


Sample Chapter: The Last Vizard?

The copper-haired vizard walked the mostly empty streets on the suburb of Tokyo, making his way back to the place that he once felt was the last location he could call home. The night was flowing into the early hours of the morning; the sky was pitch black and the only visible light streamed from neon signs atop tall buildings in the centre of the capital city. All of the other vizards just seemed to up and disappear overnight; Toki, Kyojitsu, Daichi and even their renowned leader, Hisao. After weeks of searching he had given up and decided to head to the only other place he knew: the Cerberus headquarters.

While there, he had stayed with the advent humans, namely Zakki Shihara, the only person left in the world of the living who he knew at all. Once he had regained his composure and had enough time to think about the situation he was left in, he decided to leave the Cerberus base of operations and search for others. He and his handful of original allies could not have been the only vizards out there.

It seemed to have been the case, however, as the former shinigami had just returned from the biggest search he could have conducted on his own. Despite the fact that he never left Japan, he had travelled from city to city in search of others like him, but even after the seemingly endless months had passed...he had found nothing.

"I guess that was just a big waste of time,” Shukumei sighed to himself, arching his eyebrows inwards as he bowed his head and stared at the ground, continuing to walk down the street clothed in his black leather jacket and stonewashed denim jeans. He lifted his head slightly so that he could see where he was going and took right turn down a side road, away from the bulk of the people that would be gathering for the Tokyo night life.

The redhead lifted his head to the sky and passed his eyes over the buildings that surrounded him on either side of the narrow road he walked down. He remembered the times when the dark used to scare him. He remembered when everything used to scare him, but he had come so far since then. He brought his head back down just as a group of youths entered the side road and began walking towards him. They were loud, shouting and laughing and joking as Shukumei narrowed his eyes. He placed his right hand inside his jacket and grasped the hilt of his sword, the end of the wakizashi barely visible in the dim light.

"Alright,” one member of the group nodded at him with a smile as they passed, the teenager nodding in reply as he walked past them with utmost caution. Once their noise began to fade, he let go of his zanpakutou and let out a deep breath of relief.

Can never be too careful, he thought to himself, shaking his head lightly as he came to the end of the road. He looked right to make sure there were no cars speeding towards him and then looked left for the same reason. As he turned his head to the left he saw a couple across the road seeming to rub up against each other. He tilted his head slightly and raised one eyebrow.

Wow, that looks...intense? I, uhhh, best get going, I guess.

He turned to walk away when he heard a loud, disgruntled groan from where that couple were standing.

"No, I said no, damn it!” the woman shouted, but the man persisted. She continued to repeat herself shouting the words "no” and "stop it” over and over again. Rolling his eyes, Shukumei knew he had to intervene; the powers of justice compelled him.

"Hey!” he shouted, in whatever excuse for a deep, gruff sounding voice he could come up with, trying to catch the attention of the persistent man. The man turned his head suddenly as soon as the little vizard was within twenty feet of him, and shot a threatening glance.

"Beat it you little punk, before I break your legs,” he scowled at Shukumei, who then passed a look over to the woman; she now appeared terrified.

"Aye, aye, aye,” the former shinigami uttered under his breath, an expression of disappointment that he was beginning to use frequently. He had no other choice and knew that he had to resort to brutal warnings.

He drew his sword and placed the tip against the brooding man’s chest, the man then raised his eyebrows and passed a benevolent look at the copper-haired teenager.

"She said no, now please don’t make me hurt you,” he groaned.

"I’m good, I’m good,” the frightened sleazeball uttered as he held his hands up as a sign of unwillingness to fight. A few moments later and the punk had turned and started running away. Shukumei placed his sword back in its sheath and scratched the side of his head.

"Thanks,” the woman uttered, "but what the hell are you doing with a sword?”

Shukumei turned to face her. She had short blond hair that fell to about the same length as his, but she was taller than him. She wore a white dress with red and violet flowers printed all over, the skirt falling just below her knees. After looking at her for a few seconds, the teenager turned to walk away.

"I don’t know, just a hobby, I guess,” he mumbled, beginning to walk away from her and towards the direction he originally intended.

"W-wait, you’re just going to leave me here?” she asked in a raised voice, intrigued by his mysterious entrance and equally mysterious exit from the scene. "You’re not even going to walk me home?”

He halted his movement. A woman hinting at him walking her home? Was this some kind of psychological trick? He had heard somewhere that women had a tendency to say the opposite of what they meant, but was that the case or was she being genuine? Human interactions were so confusing with such factors in his mind.

"You...want me to walk you home?” he asked cautiously, turning back to face her.

"Umm, yeah, sure, why not,” she giggled nervously, shrugging her shoulders.

Puzzled by the female psyche, he approached her and they began the unusual night walk back to her home. Such events the hundred year old veteran was getting used to in the world of the living; there were always some kind of shenanigans happening throughout Tokyo somewhere and Shukumei was drawn to them like a moth to the flame.

"So, are you going to tell me why you’re carrying a sword?” she asked him, looking down on him while he refused to make eye contact. "Are you some kind of superhero?”

"Errrm, I wouldn’t say hero,” Shukumei uttered, trying desperately to think of a reason worth lying about.

"Are you a vampire?” she asked suddenly with a childish grin. The teenager looked up at her with his ever-baffled look on his face.

"A what?” he asked.

"You don’t know what a vampire is? Wow, where have you been living all of this time? You must be from another world to not know what a vampire is!”

Generally, the arcane specialist tried to listen to her venting on about what a vampire was, but truth be told, he switched off pretty quickly. Random words from her sentences were picked out in his mind, such as "blood-sucking”, "pale-skinned” and "creatures of the night”. To think that only minutes ago he had saved her from a predatory male only looking for one thing that she wasn’t willing to give him, the redhead couldn’t understand why she was so comfortable blabbing on about these fanged menaces called vampires.

The walk seemed to last forever as Shukumei’s original verbal signs of acknowledgement, such as "m-hm”, "uh-huh” and "oh yeah” died a terrible death, and words continued to pour out of the young woman’s mouth.

"...but seriously, if you’ve never heard of vampires, there is this amazing movie I have to show you.”

"Great,” he replied with a nervous laugh. Wasn’t she supposed to be the nervous, awkward one?

"Anyway, we’re here, this is my house. Let me just go grab that film for you.”

She ran up the short amount of steps outside her house and unlocked the door quickly. Shukumei turned and cast his eyes around the immediate road. There didn’t seem to be any particularly high reiatsu signatures in the area, which surprised him, but then again he was happy that he didn’t have to go beating down Hollows on his first night back from a road trip around Japan.

"Here it is!” the enthusiastic woman shouted, jumping back out of her house and down the stairs before planting the DVD case in his chest.

"Oh...kay...” he replied in surprise, taking hold of the case and glancing at it briefly before looking back up to her.

"Don’t forget to bring it back, okay! Oh, and thanks for walking me home, umm...”

"You can call me Junichi, if you want.”

He didn’t know why he said Junichi. Everyone called him Shukumei, his superiors in Seireitei, even his acquaintances in the world of the living.

"Okay, Junichi, I’ll see you around some time!” she laughed and waved zealously before disappearing into the blackness of her dim house.

Just like that, Shukumei’s strange night began to come to a close. The strange events that succeeded his immediate return were over, and whatever circumstances he would be left with upon his homecoming to Cerberus were about to unfold, regardless of whether he was the last vizard or not.


Wordcount: 1,620

 
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Rob

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For the sole reason of making me think about goddamn Twilight reading through this sample chapter, I will go ahead and DENY THE LIVING HELL OUT YOU! :mad:

Naw, you know I wouldn't be able to even if I wanted...

Anyway, off to Final Drafts with thee!

P.s. we reviewed this bad-boy through AIM.
 

Stephen Tetsu

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Hey-oh. Finny's out on a trip for a few weeks and left me in charge. Here we go.

So looking at your app, found this:
Originally from District fifty-six of Rukongai, Shukumei lived what would be considered a ‘normal’ life. One day on a daily walk he took, he was attacked by three thugs.
That Fifty-Six should be capitalized if it is indeed a reference to a specific location, which I'm pretty sure it is, so yeah, there's that.

That second sentence there is a little awkward as well with there seemingly being a ton of extra pork at the top half of the sentence. "One day, during his daily walk" probably works a wee bit better.

Additionally, shinigami should not be capitalized since it is being used here as a general noun. Think of it this way, would you capitalize "boy" every time the word popped up? "Shinigami" would function in the same fashion here.

There are a couple instances of awkward phrasing in your sample chapter but I'm not going to bring the hammer down on that so much. But hey, vizard as a general noun doesn't need to be capitalized either, so there.

"Thanks,” the woman uttered, "but what the Hell are you doing with a sword?”
Once again, random capitalization. Hell doesn't need to be capitalized unless referring to the specific place.

"You're going to go to Hell!" = Capitalized

"What the hell is going on here?!" = Not capitalized.

"You can call me Junichi, if you want?”
Don't need the question mark there, bud.

Not really sure that a chick would be up for flirting with a dude immediately after she almost got raped but that's more of a comment than anything detracting from your chapter.

So yeah, fix your capitalization issues and this should get through faster than a dog on suppositories.
 

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