Screaming to a Lost Cause
Her sense of time had all but disappeared from her mindset as the young Walker reopened her eyes from what had felt like an eternal slumber. She couldn’t remember a single thing. All that was left was a vague sense of discomfort, and an innate rage building up deep inside of her.
Turning herself around on her bed she wriggled about for a few minutes before deciding it was probably for the best to just get out of bed, and do something less useless. There was no point in dwelling on what had happened, dwelling on that which she couldn’t even remember. She had to move on, and just... live with the fact that she wasn’t the same anymore.
Even if she wasn’t really sure what that was supposed to mean.
Looking at the clock she realized it was well past ten am. It came as a mild shock, because normally she’d wake up at around seven, but for some reason she really couldn’t be bothered too much. As such she dressed herself without much thought, and went downstairs.
Her family was already up and about, and by the looks of it... they had also just finished eating breakfast as well.
"Ah, Nana-chan, good morning!” her mother cheerfully said as she saw her youngest walk through the dining hall’s door.
"Morning,” she replied, yawning somewhat noticeably.
"Had a rough night, dear?” her father asked. He was still sitting at the dining table, and for some reason the young Walker thought it was because he was waiting for her. Sure, he was still reading his newspaper, but something told her he had already finished it.
"You could say that,” she unwittingly snapped as she took a piece of toast and sat down.
"Care to tell us what happened, dear?”
She was getting increasingly more tired of this lethargic display. What happened to her was none of their concern. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? Alone with her toast, her breakfast. She really, really didn’t feel like being interrogated so early in the morning.
"I insist, dear,” her father pursued, trying to unravel her daughter’s rather down to earth demeanor.
"I insist you leave me alone, and let me finish my breakfast,” she replied, and glanced over at her father. Seeing a raised eyebrow she quickly added, albeit with a slight sneer, "...father.”
Like a teapot boiling over, her father exploded in a fury so great Nana wasn’t really sure if this was really her father. She heard his fist slam the table with incredible force as his voice thundered through the room.
"You will not,” he roared, "I repeat, NOT, speak to me like that Amaterasu Nana. You will show respect to your elders, you will respect me, do you hear me? Now tell me what is wrong, or remove yourself from this room this instant, lady!”
He didn’t have to tell her that twice. Taking a quick bite from her toast, she threw it in the trash bin, and walked away – leaving a fallen chair in her wake. In the distance she could hear her father scream like a madman, telling her to get back there this instant, but she ignored his pleas. He had given her the option to leave, and so she took it with both hands.
When she had finally made her way to her safe haven, she was in for an unpleasant surprise. Her brother was waiting for her, and by the looks of it... he wasn’t in a happy mood. In fact, he looked angry.
"Get lost,” she snapped at him.
Grabbing his shirt she yelled, "Leave me alone!”
"I will not leave you alone, sis, because how dare you...”
"How... dare I?” she interjected, her face looking mildly surprised. "How... dare I? HOW DARE I!?”
Throwing her brother to the ground she felt her rage almost boiling over. It felt like she could just snap at the whim of something silly at any point.
"Don’t get me started on who dared what!” she continued, flailing her arms like a lunatic. "It’s you guys that dared the living hell out me! I’ve been taking your shit, my father’s shit, for twenty-some-odd-fucking years now! I’m sick of it, you hear me!? Sick, and fucking tired! Yes, that’s right, fuck formality! I’ve been living in your goddamn shadow for too long, being trying to box up against your genius, and my parents’ expectation, for the past fucking twenty years!
"Don’t tell me that I am the one who did something wrong.”
If there was a single word that described her brother’s visage right now, it would be a mix of fear and shock. It was as if he had seen something dreadful, and he wasn’t exactly that far from the truth either. Her sister looked darker, more sinister, and if he wasn’t mistaken... her fingers also looked more eerie and her hair was a darker colour as well.
"...sis...” he meekly said as he tried to get back up his feet. "I didn’t... I never...”
"No! You never think, that’s your problem! You always thought that if you just whatever the fuck you felt like everything would be all right! But... did you ever stop to think what that would mean for me? Me, you own goddamn little sister?” she pressed on, her voice sounding increasingly more desperate. "You never really cared for me, don’t lie to me and say you do! Because I know... I know you’re sour that you are not their legitimate child, that you are but an adopted child! But guess what, they think more of you... than me!”
"That’s... that’s not true, sis!” he tried to say in his meek voice once more.
"Bullshit!” Tears started to run down her cheeks, and her voice started to crackle, as she dropped to her knees. "...and you know it.”
Clasping her head between her hands she started to sob. "Just leave me alone! I never asked for this, I never asked for anything. I just want to live a normal life, without having to fight against these unfair expectations, and judgmental accusations.”
Feeling her head lifted up by her brother’s hands she heard him whisper, "Shhh, it’s okay,â and buried her face in his chest as her sobbing continued. And so they sat there. He was trying to comfort her, as she screamed the world to pieces.
In the distant her mother shed a tear, while her father sighed softly.
Overhead a crow cawed.
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