Reviewed Week 256: Answered Questions - Feedback

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swaswj

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I always enjoy your writing (don't let my delayed responses suggest otherwise) and this chapter is no exception. You keep a casual feed of information while your characters act, building upon the world without pausing the narrative. It's exposition, but doesn't feel forced and doesn't overwhelm.

As Micali descends into the mindset of a hunter, one small and probably unimportant detail jumps out, and that is her shooting with one eye closed. I'm not one to lecture on right or wrong technique, but the widely-offered advice is that shooting with one eye closed is only useful on a target range, but you need both eyes open for situational awareness and depth perception in combat scenarios. I'm sure you intended nothing meaningful by it, but it suggests to me that her activity as a sniper, removed from immediate danger, let her develop bad habits. Of course, the scene following supports that, intended or not.

The intrigue builds nicely throughout the chapter, although this 'early' in Micali's story, I clearly have reservations about how much is truth and how much is carefully manipulated to be just plausible enough. Time will tell. The twist at the end was unexpected and I'm very curious to see how that affects things. Also the meta knowledge that Micali does not kill Elantur while he's in the city leaves me curious how that goes -- a failed attempt in the city, or putting it off until he's fled back to his home in Aridus? Lots of good mysteries.
 

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