Reviewed Week 303: Rust-Colored Skies, II - Feedback

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Feb 18, 2008
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You asked me to proofread this, but I didn't see any errors that needed correcting. If there were any, they were so minor as to slip by.

I can't remember how long it's been since I read the first part of this but it still impresses me now. Being someone who sometimes gets lost in my own thoughts, especially when trying to be creative, it's haunting in a way just how perfectly you illustrate that feeling of being at the mercy of your own mind, though obviously to a far greater degree than I've experienced. Gewehr's disassociation and guilt are relatable and intriguing.

It only makes sense since you were a big part of crafting the ideas behind the demvir from the ground floor, but I really love how you capture the incongruous nature of being mechanical, of being disconnected from experiencing life in the same way as other races, and yet having deep thoughts, aspirations, regrets and dreams; a soul trapped in a doll. Perhaps the best thing is that, of the five demvir of note that I remember you writing, each of them seems to capture these opposing ideas in a different and unique way. Caterva, Noi, Gewehr, Sid, and even the Desert Skull are all wholly unique from one another. "I think I just like writing demvir." It shows.

The crafting was also very engrossing. I don't know much about engineering or tinkering with machines, and I only know a little about gunsmithing (only what I've looked up on wiki and such), but I didn't feel lost when following the steps, and they felt believable enough. Seeing the payoff from the long-long-dormant Rust-Colored Skies part 1 was a nice addition, but I really enjoyed the process for the revolver and the drone arms, and found it interesting that the two crafts seemed to tap into different sides of Gewehr's persona.

I know this isn't a sign of returning to regular writing, but even if these only come every now and then, the introspective tone of chapters like this are always worth the read.


Writing Week is 308

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