Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 312: To Hunt Madness by Kaizaell Songe.
Reviewed Week 312: To Hunt Madness - Feedback
- Thread starter Kaizaell Songe
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I've read a few of your previous chapters as well, though I have more thoughts on this one. The previous parts were a good setup chapter, and Kai sure does get into a lot of trouble. Onto this one.
The first part of the chapter can feel repetitive. There are a lot of sentences that starts off in a similar way, such as, He does something of He'd done something. It think it comes from describing too much of Kai's actions.
The second part of the chapter, once Kai found his target, was well done. There was a tense feeling and the description and feelings was vivid. I liked that you reviewed the target monster at the start of the chapter. It really helped. The second reminder when the information actually came into play was nice as well.
The monster is certainly creepy-feeling.
The first part of the chapter can feel repetitive. There are a lot of sentences that starts off in a similar way, such as, He does something of He'd done something. It think it comes from describing too much of Kai's actions.
The second part of the chapter, once Kai found his target, was well done. There was a tense feeling and the description and feelings was vivid. I liked that you reviewed the target monster at the start of the chapter. It really helped. The second reminder when the information actually came into play was nice as well.
The monster is certainly creepy-feeling.
The beginning parts of the chapter do a good job of setting the scene, and I think the repetition actually helps to establish that Kai's actions are routine, a product of training and experience. Likewise, the callbacks to the previous chapter help keep the focus on what Kai needs to do and what he's up against. The garrow is creepy, certainly, and you paint a vivid, fetid picture with the way it moves and screams out in the woman's voice.
This feels like it could be a complete piece, rather than a fragmentary passage, although it's still short. I read this part out of order, so I know how the next piece goes. More comments there.
This feels like it could be a complete piece, rather than a fragmentary passage, although it's still short. I read this part out of order, so I know how the next piece goes. More comments there.