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[11th] Week 291: Shinokaze

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Asa Tashemi

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AsaTashemi

Name:

Shinokaze (death wind)

Age:

154 but appears to be in mid twenties


Persona:

Shinokaze can be arrogant at times, hot tempered, and often swears when stressed or under pressure, but nevertheless he still loves a challenge. He enjoys the thrill of a good fight one-on-one playing it off as if it just a big joke or game to him, but he really does take every fight seriously. On the other hand, if the life of someone important is on the line or he is outnumbered his appearance becomes intense. He can be impatient if things don’t seem to be going the way he feels they should.

When someone piques his interested he tries to become suave and charming, which usually ends up with him being slapped in the face. He doesn’t care for sweets preferring salty things like ramen and seasoned meats. In fact he’s willing to go out of his way to try a new noodle shop. In day-to-day things with people he’s grown close to, Shinokaze tends to be comical. He cares for others but tries not to show it so much, and when the people around seem down he uses his humor to lift their spirits.

Physical Appearance:

Shinokaze stands at 6’1 with a muscular build at 200 lbs. His hair is unkempt with spikes as if just rising from bed, and the color is a shimmering blue starting at the root that fades into jet black at the ends. His eyes are unusually large and very bright with the left eye the same blue as his hair and the right an emerald green. The young soul reaper as fairly tan skin that seems to glisten when hit just right by the sun. On the front of his left wrist is a branding in the shape of a cracked skull and a small silver cross hanging from his left ear. Being very fond of blue there is a blue sash sown into the left shoulder of his traditional soul reapers garb that wraps around and down to his elbow. There’s a pack of cigarettes wound up in his right sleeve called Deadly Eights and he always has a cigarette hanging from his lips that never seems to go out.

Biography:

Shinokaze died drowning in a lake and, in his afterlife, has a hint of fear that still exists even though he doesn’t remember his past. Since he got to soul society he drifted until he ran into the blacksmith, who rescued him from an unwinnable fight. He’s grown up with Hiroko who has taken him under his wing and raised as if he were his own son. He learned to protect himself and, under the hardy mans’ tutelage, has discovered the tricks of the other mans trade.

Zanpakutou:

It’s a standard looking katana but the sheath has swirls of blue with scattered japanese symbols meaning death. The hilt has a woven blue material around it and a small cross dangles from the end similar to the one in his ear.


Stats:


Reiatsu: 1000
Zanjutsu: 500
Hakuda: 200
Hohou: 300
Kidou: 0


Sample Chapter: 1222

“It seems no one from my district has ever ventured outside the area. I’ve heard many stories of the violence outside our walls. That people suffer needlessly and know not the peace and calm of district nine. Tomorrow I will take it upon myself to see what lies in the darkness...”

-------------

Shinokaze had just finished his breakfast and was now checking to make sure nothing had been forgotten in the supplies he would need for a two week journey between districts. He had been saving ryo for eleven years and with all his training day after day with the blacksmith Hiroko, he believed he could survive. The road ahead would not be an easy one, but fear would not hold him back.

Booming laughter filled the room as Hiroko entered into the kitchen where Shinokaze was packing a few days of riceballs for the trip. The kitchen was of medium size with wood floors, wooden cabinets, and a small island in the middle with two stools on one side. All the countertops including the island were covered in white tile. To one side a large bay window showered the room with light of the rising sun.

He was nearly knocked onto the counter as a heavy hand slapped him on the back, causing the young man to smash the rice ball he had in his hand. Hiroko was a large, broad man, with rippling muscles, and bronze skin. He towered over Shinokaze who stood at six foot one making the blacksmith unusually tall. Though his looks were intimidating his big beer gut could make you think otherwise. He was still impressive at the age fifty-five, with a full head of jet black hair cropped short and black beady eyes, unlike his young apprentice; messy black and blue hair arranged in no particular way, looking as though it had not been combed in days. This was the younger man's usual style. His strange eyes often scared people away being two different colors, one bright blue and the other the color of a bright light as it shines through an emerald.

“So you’re really going to go, huh kid? What are you hoping to find way out in the middle of no mans land?” Hiroko had a mixture of sincerity and worry in his voice.

Shinokaze let out a long deep sigh,”I won’t know until I get there, but I feel like something important is out there waiting for me to find it.” Hiroko pulled away and leaned against the island studying Shinokaze’s posture and stature flashing back to the past.

-----

Over the years he’d grown to care for the boy as a son. He had offered him a job and all the knowledge he had obtained over the years. Teaching him how to outwit his opponents and stand for what was right and just. In the beginning the boy was rebellious and full of much anger, showing no interest in people or making friends because of the biased treatment. At night the young child would thrash around violently in his sleep as if fighting off something but never spoke of it. Hiroko never gave up on the idea that Shinokaze had true potential and over time it started to show. No matter how many times he knocked the young apprentice down in their sparring, the boy would stagger to his feet and with all his heart yell for another round. As the metal of their blades clashed together and sparks flew, Shinokaze’s eyes would shine bright with inspiration. He channeled his anger through every thrust of his blade with force, but holding back until just the right moment for the final blow. His rough energy grew more tranquil and his fighting style became his own, strong and swift yet still humble. Training was entirely different when it came to Shinokaze’s everyday attitude that had really began to blossom. To Hiroko’s amusement, the kid could be quite humorous in times of stress and helpful yet clumsy when daydreaming. Hiroko sometimes thought the youngster would have eaten him out of house-and-home, had he not earned his own keep, eating six bowls of ramen in one sitting.

-----

A loud thud at Hiroko’s feet brought him back to his senses as the boy dropped his backpack on the floor. Shinokaze laughed as the old man sprung into the air.

“Now look who’s daydreaming,” said Shinokaze then Hiroko began to smile and laugh with the young man.

“I guess you’re right for a change, but don’t let it go to your head Sono. I didn’t come here today to get a lecture from you.” Hiroko gave Shinokaze a sharp eye. The young man straightened up quickly only to roll his eyes when a smirk began to appear on the old smith’s face.

“I wanted to give you something for the adventures that lie ahead. I’ll be right back.”

A moment later Hiroko returned with a long slender item wrapped in terricloth and handed it to the young man. As Shinokaze took it in his hands he could feel its weight. He slowly unwrapped the cloth to reveal a metal sword. The hilt wound in a shimmering blue cloth and etched into the blade was the word ‘Righteous’.

“Now I know it’s not a Zanpakutou, but it has the strength to withstand any blow from another ordinary sword. Have no doubts that you will come across the wicked and ruthless so keep your wits about you, boy. And remember above all else... Only raise your blade when words are unheard by your foe.”

Shinokaze was speechless but proud of what he held before him. “One other thing. I’m lending you my trusty horse, but be aware if you let anything happen to her it will be your hide.” The boy gulped hard at the tone of Hiroko’s voice, knowing full and well that he meant business.

Shinokaze climbed onto the horses back, wearing his backpack with the sword strapped to his side. The two men stared at one another for a silent moment and then nodded. “Come home safe boy.” The young man could see the man’s worry and sadness.

He laughed to break the ice. “Don’t worry I’ll bring back something great, you’ll see. Plus I can’t be gone too long. You might bust a hip trying to make all those swords by yourself.”

His son gave him a big grin setting some of his fears to rest. Hiroko watched as his boy rode off into the rising sun. The blacksmith whispered a prayer into the wind, “May the Soul Reapers find you and see you as a worthy ally...”

----------------

The dark haired soul reaper leaned back in his seat as the young student stood before him. He placed a hand to his chin in thought after just hearing a small portion of Shinokaze’s story. The third seat officer waved his hand for the pupil to take a seat and then sat back up.

“I’m really interested in how this all plays out. You’ve caught my attention with your strong sense ofjustice. To travel outside your district when fear still nipped at your heels, yet to not let it hold you back is impressive. What I question now is hearing what happened along the way and how you found your friend Yoiji.”
 
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Hi Asa,

I'm CAD and I'll be handling your app! Sorry for the wait but we have a busy crew here! It's my goal to make sure that you are ready to jump into the RP with us and have as easy a transition as possible.

I can tell you, right off the bat, things look really promising. You grammar, content and composure are great so far but I'd like for you to run through the entire app and check your punctuation. There are a noticeable number of commas missing and some of your dialogue has a space between the quotation marks and the first words of the sentence. Unfortunately, I can't give more insight tonight but I'll be back, first thing in the morning!
 
Dear Cad,
I tried to change a few things as far as commas and spaces, but their not my strong suit. I tend to be too critical of my own work, so I see more mistakes then there actually are. I look forward to more insight on what could be changed to improve my work. There are books I've written but never published due to theses factors. I'm hoping with your help, and this writing site, I can become better and possibly have a book reach the shelf. Sincerely, Asa
 
Hello there, not sure if Cad got to you over AIM or not. I just want to say that the Application looks good overall. Here are some stuff I noticed

When someone peeks his interest...

piques, the word you want is piques.

Other than that, Name, Persona, Appearance, Biography, Stats and Zanpakutou all look good.

Sample chapter: One thing I really like is how you give another short description of your character in the chapter. Our GM always says that's important.

There are some grammatical mistakes. I'll point them out for future reference.

“ Now look who’s daydreaming.” said Shinokaze then Hiroko began to smile and laugh with the young man.

Should be:

“ Now look who’s daydreaming,” said Shinokaze then Hiroko began to smile and laugh with the young man.

Spoken dialogue ends in a comma if the following part is describing the way the spoken line.


He laughed to break the ice, “ Don’t worry I’ll bring back something great, you’ll see. Plus I can’t be gone too long. You might bust a hip trying to make all those swords by yourself.”
Should be:
He laughed to break the ice. “ Don’t worry I’ll bring back something great, you’ll see. Plus I can’t be gone too long. You might bust a hip trying to make all those swords by yourself.”

That is because 'He laughed to break the ice.' is a full sentence that doesn't directly describe the following sentence. Therefore, it ends in a period.

Only when the spoken part is directly connected to a descriptive part are they considered one sentence and a comma is used.

Lastly: It's stands for it is. The apostrophe S way of indicating possesiveness does not apply to the word 'it'. The proper form is just its.

I liked the chapter, especially the description about his training. And overall, the application is good, so I think you could go post over at the Final Drafts thread. Don't worry if the post doesn't show up, I'll be able to see it.
 
Hello again!

Your application is APPROVED

1) Request to join the HD Permission group. On the top of the forums, there is a Settings. Then on the side, go down to My Settings, My Account, Permission Groups. Once there, request to join Halcyon Days.

2) Post your application as your profile in the Registry of the Shinigami.

3) Post your stats in the current week's thread in the Personnel Stat Records. Follow the other people's formatting if you're unsure how it should look.

4) Post your writing sample in the Writing section of Halcyon Days. You can either post it this week or sometime soon. Posting next week can help maximize the time you have since your three weeks of newbie bonus (explained here along with other bonuses) starts when you post your first writing (within two weeks of being accepted otherwise the bonus is forfeited). Remember to keep all chapter writing to a single thread for each week.

Follow this format when titling your threads: [11th] Week 292: Insert Title Here

Each writing week ends at 11:59pm EST (-5 GMT) Saturday night.
 
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