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Resolution:
Her breath formed in the crisp night air like a wisp of thought. With Providence at her side and her staff in her hand, Thaleia approached the looming gates of the Eleventh Division. The winter night caressed her skin. The clear sky, filled with stars, hovered above her.
Are you sure about this? the little dog inquired. Remember the time Creepy Girl threw her whips at us? That was fun.
The corner of Thaleia’s lip twitched. I remember. Don’t worry, dear. We are no longer permitted to release shikai within the walls of Seireitei. I doubt you will have to worry about whips.
The zanpakutou spirit grumbled. Thaleia laughed at his disgruntled expression. They neared the Eleventh Division compound, and Thaleia could see Amaya’s slim figure waiting for her.
Amaya stood against the building that marked the entrance to the Division grounds. She couldn’t help but savor the feeling of anticipation that hung around her. Her body was tense, and one hand stayed steady on the sword on her hip.
As she saw Thaleia approach, Amaya shifted to face the woman. She couldn’t suppress a smile as the woman approached, the exhilaration had been building inside of her since the moment she had left the Fourth Division.
“Thaleia,” Amaya grinned as the woman and her dog approached.
Immediately she turned, making her way deeper into the deserted division grounds. Occasionally she glanced behind her to assure that the pair were still trailing behind her. As she approached the gardens Amaya leaned her head back to look up at the top of the trees. She weaved her way through the well maintained paths, only occasionally stepping on a leaf and ruining the silence the group walked in.
Finally she stopped at a seemingly random moment, and turned to face the former Captain.
“We’re almost there. I want to make sure before we go any further that you’re still willing to go through with this.”
Thaleia placed a hand on a tree. The bark was cool and smooth beneath her palm. A soft breeze rustled through the garden, and Thaleia breathed in the beauty that surrounded her. After two years behind stone walls, the world was greater than she remembered.
“Yes, Amaya,” Thaleia said. “I am willing.” Providence yipped in agreement.
Thaleia watched Amaya’s face glow with eagerness. Never had she seen the girl so full of life.
“Alright, just a little further then.” Amaya grinned, and started weaving faster and faster through the gardens. For a minute it looked to Amaya like she might lose the pair in the twists and turns she led them through, but finally she stopped after walking into a secluded opening, closed in by a set of old buildings.
Smiling and spinning Amaya looked up to the skies again, she was ready, and this was the stage.
“The Garden of Arimanthium.” Amaya proclaimed to the newest visitor to the legendary glen the two women now stood in. “This place holds the blood of the greatest shinigami in Seireitei. For a while it was Leon’s own private training grounds, where he trained Yuzuki, Tsubaki, and even Inuzuri-Soutaichou. It’s where Tsubaki took me to witness my bankai.”
“This is where we built the legacy of the Duelists, and reforged ourselves as Templar.”
The Third Seat smiled with pure joyous abandon as she looked to Thaleia again.
“This is where we’ll fight. In the only place in Seireitei the Central Forty Six can’t track our releases, where I can see just what kind of person you are.”
Stepping back, Amaya looked around relatively large opening. She flipped off her shoes, and let her bare toes touch the damp blades of grass, and then, finally, she drew Sin.
“Let me know when you’d like to begin.”
Thaleia frowned, ignoring Amaya’s bombastic pronouncements. “Amaya. I hope you don’t expect me to break the law. You know that I cannot do it, nor condone it.”
“It’s not breaking the law here,” Amaya sighed into the crisp night air. “The Central Forty Six allows it. This is where the Templar train, this is where the sword of Seireitei grows strong enough to face our enemies. Do you think they wouldn’t give us a place to train, and learn to use our zanpakutou? And do you think I would risk going back to the Seventh?”
Amaya smiled again, and flourished the cracked obsidian blade between the two of them.
“As long as we’re here we can release our zanpakutou’s, and we are completely within the confines of the law.”
Thaleia smiled wryly, “I did not mean to assume. You cannot blame me for being overly wary. Two years is a long time during which there is little else to do but to contemplate one’s sins.”
She looked down and nodded at Providence. The dog padded over to one of the trees and sat upon his haunches. He watched them silently.
“Let us begin,” Thaleia said. She struck her crook upon the ground with a deafening sound.
den emeis chrisimopoió lepithes| we do not use blades |
It is law.
It is law.
Leaves rustled. The air felt different. Thaleia waited.
Amaya immediately smiled after the crook struck the ground. “What did you do while you were locked away, contemplating your sins? Did you repent, did you try to overcome your sins?”
Her hand tightened around the dark blade she held, but made no movements. Perhaps Thaleia was one of the best people to comprehend Amaya’s understanding with her darker side, after all, the two had been through many of the same experiences in the last few years.
“I repented, but it will take the rest of my life to overcome my sins.” Thaleia’s eyes flicked to Amaya’s hand as it gripped the hilt at her side. “Caring for those wounded in the battles I never could stop—it is what I do now, and it brings me that much closer to peace.”
She ran her hand over the knotted wood of her staff. The silver bell tinkled brightly. Thaleia smiled sadly. “If you did not come in search for me, I could have faded into the shadows. It was my wish. Yet, here you are and here I am.”
“What if I told you that I didn’t repent, Thaleia? What if I found my true strength in my Sin?”
In a flash Amaya resheathed Sin, and stared at the woman as she spoke her next words.
Let me show you my Sin.
The half circle of blades appeared fastened to her back, each one glinting the sin it represented. The chains that held them together clanked and jangled as the Templar drew the dull gray blade of Sloth.
Then she started running at the Captain, with Sloth held above her head.
A shackle clamped down around Amaya’s right wrist, and chains streamed from the gleaming metal to latch itself to the ground. The chains grew taut, forcing her arm down from where it was raised over her head.
Immediately, Thaleia dashed forward. Her hand lashed out, two fingers seeking the pressure points in the crook of Amaya’s left elbow. She infused Chiron’s Touch with numbing reiatsu.
“You have no regrets, Amaya?” Thaleia cried as she moved. “No remorse at all?”
She did not believe that. Amaya was one who delighted in self-flagellation. She thrived and wallowed in a pool of penitence. Such a woman could live without burying herself deep in guilt.
“Of course I have remorse,” Amaya’s voice rang through the tranquil garden. “No human is without remorse, no human rests at night without wishing they had taken another road when presented with the opportunity.”
Her head swiveled despite the restraints so she could make out the figure of the Captain.
“But what makes me different Thaleia, is that I let those thoughts consume me and drive me. I let the desire for another path lead me and help guide my actions, I focus on that Greed, and I let it sharpen who I am.”
“I am a proud woman, who’s accomplished more than most could given the shit life has thrown at me. I have no need to change who I am, I am complete, I am a sinner. But I do want to constantly strengthen myself, and I let that my past and my Greed constantly shape me.”
A hurricane twirling around its eye, Thaleia took a step and pivoted around her foot until she was at Amaya’s back. She thrust out her crook, the curved head rushing to capture Amaya’s neck. The air hummed.
“You are not a selfish woman, Amaya, and desire is no sin. You say you have remorse. That,” Thaleia whispered, “is contrition. You do repent, Amaya. Why do you deny that?”
As soon as Thaliea started moving, Amaya gritted her teeth, and forced reiatsu into the shackles that bound her in place. As the bond broke Amaya twirled on the spot, Sloth lashing out in an attempt to strike the woman as she moved.
In a moment in shock, Amaya barely had time to realize her muted blade was going to collide with the crook that threatened to choke her. As the two weapons rebounded off one another she was barely able transfer the sin of sloth into Thaleia’s weapon before its new course carried it into Amaya’s chest.
For a moment Amaya felt a throbbing in her head as stumbled backwards gasping for breath. She had felt pain like this recently, when she had been nearly killed in the illusion of a maze the shinigami had been sent into only a few weeks before. Thaleia’s strike had almost certainly broken a rib. But Amaya could start to feel her blood boiling as the ecstasy of the pain started to seep into her mind.
“It is sin...” Amaya gasped. “I want to cut down Yuzuki Masato with the same wrath he sentenced me to the Seventh for. That is not repentance. That is only greed and lust. I regret I committed my crime before I was ready to strike him down. And I will never let that happen again.
That Thaleia, is not repentance.”
Thaleia took the force of the recoil upon her back foot. Gathering herself, she leapt back towards the younger shinigami. “Amaya, I do not perceive the world is such absolutes.”
den emeis chrisi—
Thaleia felt nothing.Curious.
Throwing the thought away as soon as she had it, instead she gripped her stave with both hands and she swung towards Amaya’s right knee.
“Repentance isn’t the only answer,” Amaya’s responded as she lunged toward her opponent. Sweeping her blade just above the ground in front of her the Templar deflected the crook so it narrowly missed her legs. Then in a continuation of her movements, Amaya brought the blade to chest height, and lunged forward, threatening to impale the former Captain on the end of the gray blade.
Thaleia twisted away from the deadly thrust. The blade whistled through the air, barely catching her side. Red bloomed on her white shihakusho, but the cut was shallow, and Thaleia ignored the sting, moving closer to Amaya until they were too close for the Templar to swing her blade properly. She planted the foot of her crook behind Amaya’s ankle.
“I’m not telling you to repent.” The healer’s right hand, struck out towards the nerve endings on Amaya’s right shoulder. “I’m saying that you already have, and that’s enough.”
Amaya’s reflexes snapped into action as she was drawn in far closer than anticipated to her opponent. With her left arm practically useless from the spell Thaleia had cast on it, the number of options she had to increase the range between the two was limited. Twirling while still moving forward, Amaya was only barely able to dodge Thaleia’s attempt to disable her other arm. Passing the woman, Amaya made no attempt to counter attack, instead she took a few long strides past the healer and turned to face her.
The speed of her actions had left the Templar feeling a little dizzy, and the garden swayed slightly as she looked at Thaleia. For a moment she considered the conversation the two had been having, and she couldn’t hold back a small grin.
“I’ll be honest, not many people have been this convinced I’m still worth talking to. It’s at least somewhat refreshing at least.”
Thaleia blinked. She caught herself before her momentum carried her forward any further.
“That’s—that’s it?” the older woman asked, unable to keep the surprise from her voice. “I—,” She fell silent in consternation. “Well—I— am quite obstinate, Amaya.” Thaleia’s lip twitched. “I thought you knew.”
Amaya couldn’t help but laugh at Thaleia’s response, which sent a shooting up her side. Leaning over slightly, Amaya tried in vain to bring her left arm to touch the broken rib.
“Why did you come here Thaleia?” Amaya’s body stiffened as she spoke. “I have only ever been a thorn in your side. You’ve never needed approval from me, and I am not going to change the kind of person I am. I can’t believe it’s just because you’re stubborn”
Thaleia walked over to Amaya and knelt before her. Carefully, she touched the Templar’s side with the energy of Lacuna Release. Amaya felt the pain slip away slowly, and her body relaxed. Rising, Thaleia took the younger woman’s arm and massaged Current into the pressure points she had hit. Feeling rushed back into the limbs.
“You are a fascinating woman, Amaya, and you don’t seem to see that. You do not expect much of others and you do not expect much of yourself. I just...” she trailed off, trying to articulate how she felt.
“I want you to see that you are worth talking to, that others are worth your trust. Perhaps you can never trust me, but you shut yourself away from others out of what seems to be fear. Free yourself.”
But the moment the words left her mouth, Thaleia regretted them as a flash of deja-vu washed over her.
It was then that she realized. Despite her insistence that she had changed, arrogance still dripped from her tongue like soured honey. The words she said now, the words she had said while they fought, the words she had said this morning-- they were no different from the words she had spoken when she had first met the Templar. Her mind buzzed as it dawned on her how she had incessantly lectured this poor, brave woman. How this day was no different from the same one two years ago.
Amaya was right.
Her words echoed with presumption. Every one of them. They were the words of a disgraced shinigami whose blindness had lead to the fall of an entire division.
Old habits died hard.
“I am free.” Amaya’s voice was firm and final. “Why do you think I’m not free? Because my past drives me, because sin has become who I am? Thaliea, your laws and rules bind you, they chain you in.”
Amaya pointed to the blades on her back with her healed left arm.
“Each of these represents an aspect of all of us. An aspect people are ashamed of or afraid of, yet they are parts of us. They are thoughts people shove into the darkest corners of their mind, reassuring themselves that they aren’t real, that they’re really not that kind of person. But deep down in that darkness it’s them they’re locking away. It’s their emotion, the raw version of themselves.”
“Thaleia, I am free to see myself for who I am, the good and that bad. That to me is the true freedom of this life.”
Thaleia remained silent, feeling shame creep through her belly. The small crimson blossom on her side had grown into thin branch. The blood had dried to a rusty brown. After what seemed like an age, she spoke.
“You are right,” Thaleia whispered. She leaned heavily on her crook, feeling old for the first time in her life. “I am set in my ways more than you, it seems. Who am I to tell you to smile at others, to trust them. I should never ask someone to change who they are. It it is a foolish arrogance that makes me believe I have the right to do such a thing. I do not.”
The Shepherdess looked away.
“I am sorry.”
For a while Amaya stood speechless, her grip on Sloth weakening slightly so the tip of the blade rested on the damp grass.
“Thaleia...” Amaya’s voice was unusually soft. “I, don’t know what to say. As long as I’ve known you, we’ve disagreed about my philosophies. This is so... unexpected.”
And maybe Hikaru was right about you. she added to herself internally.
Using her staff as support, Thaleia lowered herself to the ground with a heavy sigh. Immediately Providence rushed to her and lay down, leaning his body against hers. Placing the olivewood crook down on the ground beside her, she gingerly placed a hand on her side. Slowly, she pressed here then there with a finger until she felt her skin and muscles knitting themselves together.
As she worked, she told Amaya with a wry tone in her voice, “Do not misunderstand me, dear. I cannot live the way you do, but you can, and who am I to tell you otherwise. Your path is of your choosing, and I should leave you be.” Thaleia winced as the wound closed completely. She twisted, stretching out her newly mended side. “We may never agree, but the least I can do is respect your choices.”
Thaleia ran a hand over her staff. “Laws I can make, but your mind will always be your own. It should not be any other way.”
“True,” Amaya stood for another moment, watching the healer stretch now that her wounds were healed.
“I think I’ve seen enough Thaleia,” Amaya’s words were reluctant, the opportunity to keep fighting was a hard one to let go of. “We don’t need to continue unless you want to.”
“Oh?” Thaleia raised an eyebrow. “Why the change of heart?”
“I know what I needed to know. And I was under the impression you didn’t appreciate violence for the sake of violence,” Amaya face spread into a grin with the statement.
“Well, yes,” Thaleia chuckled. She rose to her feet and dusted off her robes. Leaning down, she picked up her staff. “But I’m curious to know. What have you discovered?”
“That we may never agree on philosophies, but at the very least we can reason with one another. I also know that anyone who is so determined to help someone who has never liked them, isn’t the kind of person to start a rebellion in the Seventh, or leave their division in the hands of a madman.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Thaleia said dryly. “I tried to drop the aura of psychopathic anarchist a millennium or so ago.”
The night had grown colder as the morning grew younger, and the horizon had a faint tinge of forget-me-not to its cheeks. The two women shared a comfortable moment of silence. The silence spoke of understanding, of respect, and of a willingness to accept the other despite their differences.
Thaleia smiled and offered a hand to Amaya. “Thank you,” she said.
“A millennium,” Amaya smiled smugly as she took the older woman’s hand. “It’s easy to forget just how young I am sometimes. I hope you see now that I’m more than just a mad woman who loves pointless fighting and pain. I can listen to reason too.”
“Oh, you are mad, but so am I,” Thaleia teased. She grasped Amaya’s hand tightly. “Friends?”
Laughing, Amaya let herself feel at ease with Thaleia for the first time since they had met. “Friends,” she nodded in agreement. “Just don’t take me on any peacekeeping missions, it’s better for the both of us.”
Breaking their handshake, Amaya sheathed sloth and sealed Sin.
“About this tree,” Amaya turned to gather her shoes as she spoke. “I’d still be willing to go, if you’d still want me to.”
Thaleia considered the younger shinigami carefully. “Do what you wish,” she said finally. “Grandmother Athena is a unique spirit. What she desires to show you is up to her. I play no part in the matter. If you do decide to sleep under her leaves, I would be curious to know what she tells you.”
Bending down, Thaleia whistled. Providence”ears flipped towards her and he scampered into her arms. Rising, she turned to leave. “I bid you goodnight, Amaya. I am happy our zanpakutous crossed today, because the gods be willing, they will never cross again.”
“Yes, I am happy too. But you know that in the Eleventh we never hope for such things.” Amaya smiled after the former peacekeeper. “I do hope however, that if they cross should cross again we’ll still be able to listen to one another.”
Without waiting for an answer the Third Seat lead the way out of the legendary garden. As she emerged into the open air once more, Amaya marveled at the stillness of the air around her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the resolution of their conflict had somehow seeped into the air of the division.
[3543]