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[9th] Week 25 - Noboru Sho

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PeaCe

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Contact Info: AIM: TestVirus101

Name:
Noboru Sho (Surname, First)
“Rise, ascend”, “soar, fly”

Age:
Died: 17
Appears: Mid-20s
Years spent in Soul Society: 121 (113 Rukongai, 8 Academy)

Birthday:
November 14th

Division:
9th/Unseated

Persona:
Sho is always curious. He pursues knowledge wherever he can find it, and attempts to study something until he has a firm grasp on it. If there is something he has yet to study, he can accept not knowing it, but if there was to be some knowledge that has escaped him which directly relates to something he has made his enquiries over, Sho has been known to grow highly agitated and lose his temper; this however normally relates to battle and the techniques involved and not things such as general knowledge or specific academic knowledge.

While he is a very solitary person, often preferring to keep to himself and devote his life to study, he is not averse to being social during his downtime or when he believes there is something he can learn.

This pursuit of knowledge is quite often his all-encompassing driving factor and he may come off as rude, unsociable or arrogant to those around him, especially when he flaunts his knowledge at others.

Physical Stature:
Height: 5’10
Weight: 174 lbs

Certainly not the most imposing of the Shinigami; Sho wears the standard Shinigami uniform. The only two differences are that he wears a pair of black, fingerless gloves and grey, lace-up boots.

His sword hangs at his right hip as Sho is left-handed. His short, messy red hair lies on his head, uncombed. To support his often antisocial behaviour, Sho wears a grey-blue cape, covering his mouth and neck completely. It runs down his back, covering his full frame and stopping at his ankles, just short of the floor, with the remaining piece upon tying it running down his chest and sitting at knees length.

Sho hides his green eyes behind a pair of Blue-tinted circular glasses that sit midway along the length of his nose. He very rarely removes these, if only to simply clean them before putting them back on. Sho normally is seen upright but staring at the floor as he walks on, often lost in deep thought. He is also known for having a book held within his robes at all times.

Zanpakutou:
Sho’s Zanpakutou is awkward to say the least. While most everything about it is standard, it does have some very unique features. The Blade itself is around one and a half times the standard size (from what Sho himself has observed to be approximately 70cm), while the handle curves to form a full circle, re-attaching itself to the side of the handle; this leaves enough room for Sho to place his hand in and thus it is difficult for his Zanpakutou to be knocked away from him during battle. This modification was asked for by Sho himself who had quite frequently been disarmed during battles in the academy, with swordplay not being his finest point.

Biography:
Sho was very much a shy boy during his mortal life. He preferred to keep to himself, and this has carried on with him after entering Soul Society. Again, another prominent trait that carried over was his passion for reading and learning.

Sho has had little friends, both when he was mortal and in Soul Society. As a young boy, he was quick to learn to read. While he advanced at an average speed with other children when it came to crawling, walking, etc. His speed when it came to picking up speech and the ability to read surprised his parents, who promptly enrolled him in the best school they could afford when he reached the age of five.

Sho’s family owned a small restaurant that made comfortable profits due to its popularity in the neighbourhood and because of his parents strong work ethics, he’d never had much time to mingle with other children his age, instead spending his time reading and learning.

On his first day of school, Sho was nervous but soon found solace in the group of children he was placed with for an activity. These three friends, Dai, Jun and Mayu would be his only three close friends in life.

They four of them grew up together. All of them were gifted in one way or another. Sho and Mayu both excelled academically, Dai and Jun excelled in art and sport respectively.

Well into the first term of high school, Sho had come to grips with the feelings he felt for Mayu. As a school dance approached, he worked up the courage to ask her to the dance, only to find she was going with one Jun.
Angered and rejected, this friendship would never be repaired, with the group of four splitting two ways, Sho now left Dai and Mayu now together with Jun.

Years later, in the final year of high school, Sho learned that Mayu and Jun had gotten into a major argument and had broken up. Knowing that they’d been together, remarkably for all these years, he didn’t dare give any other thought to the issue, until Mayu approached him in the hall, asking for help with an upcoming test.

Over time, his affection grew stronger and he was once again head-over-heels for Mayu. Driving her home one night, along with Dai who had been over to borrow something from Sho, he attempted to ask her out once again. Mayu kindly rejected Sho, stating that he was not ready for another relationship. Not paying attention at this point, Sho felt the sharp pain of rejection yet again and turned to face her, asking her why she felt this way. Dai and Mayu pleaded with Sho to keep his eyes on the road, but he demanded answers and inadvertently drove through a red light, crashing into a moving truck and killing the three teenagers.

Reiatsu: 100
Zanjutsu: 20
Hakuda: 0
Hohou: 20
Kidou: 60
Connection: 0


Kidou Equipped:
Byakurai
Mummification
Beniikazuchi
Items:
9th Division Item Pack
->Prometheus
->Hephaestus
->Hecate
->Athena

Sample Chapter:
[1,448]


"And was it the right answer?" Dai asked, staring quite contently at Sho, the reason he had died all those years ago.

Sho looked up from the book he had been reading, it wasn’t that he was being rude, but some time had passed since the two of them spoke and Dai had previously been lost in deep thought.
"Of course it was the right answer," Sho replied casually, "how often do I give the wrong answer?"

Dai let out a laugh, "Not very often, I must say. You really need to stop studying so much, take a break; relax. We might be dead but that doesn’t mean we can’t live a little…"

"I quite like how I spend my time, thankyou," Sho replied acidly, still not retracting his eyes from the book he was reading, "I’ve enjoyed virtually every bit of my time here… apart from the whole adjusting to being dead part, of course."

"Of course," Dai nodded, "but you haven’t made any friends? Doesn’t that bother you? Only ever talking to me?"

"Why would it bother me?" Sho asked, puzzled, "The amount of things I’ve learned both in Rukongai and in the academy with this virtually limitless time is fantastic. Far beyond what one could possibly hope to learn in his mortal lifetime."

"Even souls eventually grow old," Dai reminded him, "It may take many, many years… but it happens. You won’t have any recollection of your past life… you know that right? No recollection… all that knowledge will eventually mean nothing."

At this point, Sho decided to lift his head from the book he’d been reading, turning his head to face Dai and staring him straight in the eyes, "Nothing? The eventual loss of my knowledge thousands of years for now… will mean nothing? By that same reasoning, the art you paint, the friendships you make… it will ALL mean nothing at your time of passing. For that very reason, how one chooses to spend their time should not be regarded as wasteful, if all memories of it will escape them in the end regardless of the choices they make. Making plenty of friends and paining for thousands of years does not change this… however there is a possibility of change that stems from research and learning."

Dai shook his head, "So what you’re trying to say is that through this knowledge… you hope to learn how to preserve memories and knowledge between lives?"

"Hardly," Sho remarked, "all I was saying was that it is quite certainly possible. There are plenty of reasons such things shouldn’t be done either way. For instance, it would be quite worrying to see newborn children having memories from thousands of years earlier; I can only imagine what the parents would think."

Dai chuckled, "Humour from you Sho?" he asked, surprised, "Well that certainly is unusual," he added mockingly.

"What was the reason you came around again?" Sho asked, "you were about to ask me, but you went horribly off track several hours ago."

Dai grinned, "Oh right, right; are you ready for the big test tomorrow?"

Sho nodded, "I didn’t quite catch what the instructor said as we were leaving though. I do know it’s the final test… but is it a written one?"

Dai shook his head, "You wish it was a written test," he grinned once more, "Practical, through and through."

"This complicates things…" Sho remarked, standing up and grabbing his Zanpakutou.

"For you maybe. I can take anything they throw at me and most others... hell, I bet if Ma—"

"—Don’t mention that name," Sho added, strong strains of guilt in his voice, "I may have worked things out with you… but not her... we don't even know where—"

"—No, you haven’t completely worked things out with me. You were the reason I died after all, I can’t ever completely forget that happened."

"…Oh just shut up," Sho remarked with a sigh, "What does the test involve?"

"Defeating a hollow."

"Oh, that doesn’t sound too bad. We’ve done that before… pretty pathetic test in that case if you ask me."

"No, it’s not a group task. Nor is the hollow as weak as the one we faced…"

Sho shot Dai a slightly worried look, "So wait… you’re saying that this thing is tougher than the one we faced… as a GROUP?"

Dai nodded, "Pretty much, yeah. The sum of all our training and practice comes down to this."

"Damn!" Sho shouted, "I’m not feeling very confident right now…"

"Why?" Dai asked, "You’re one of the best Kidou users in our class… and you’re not half bad with your Zanpaktou…"

"…We’ll have to see."

***

"Noboru Sho!" the teacher cried out, indicating who was next.

A few snickers could be heard, most of the students doubting his combat ability, and rightfully so. Most of his combat inability could be pointed out as his lack of motivation for learning to fight. While he certainly knew his Kidou better than most other students and his skill with the Zanpaktou was progressing steadily, Sho considered these only necessary to the point of becoming a Shinigami and using the knowledge available to them for his own advancement.

Sho watched as the Hollow was released and the battle began almost immediately. Rushing at the hulking creature, Sho leapt into the air, swinging his sword down in an attempt to slice its mask apart and end this battle prematurely. This was to no avail, with the Hollow swinging his arm and sending Sho flying into the wall.
His classmates cheered, however they were quickly hushed by angered instructor.

Dai shook his head in embarrassment; a direct approach by someone like Sho was probably the last thing that was recommended; had he not been watching how most of the others had passed the test?
Sho got to his feet slowly, realising that his Zanpakutou would only help him when it came to finishing the Hollow, for the weakening phase, he’d need to use the Kidou he’d learned.
"Under the celestial ruby, shall my voice roar like—"

His classmates once again viciously cheered as Sho was cut short attempting to use his Kidou, the Hollow rushing forward and grabbing him, throwing him against another wall; toying with him.
Sho looked up and noticed Dai shaking his head, this did little to support him, and he noticed various female Shinigami giggling amongst the crowd of his classmates. This angered him beyond belief and he hauled his blood-stained body upright once more.

"Under the celestial ruby, shall my voice," the Hollow lunged at him, but Sho dodged the attack, "roar like thunder. Hadou #2 Beniikazuchi!" Sho pointed his right index finger at the Hollow and a deep, red lightning shot forth, striking the Hollow in the face and causing him to stumble back in both a mixture of pain and shock.
Sho focused, he would need more than that to defeat this Hollow.

Taking advantage of the Hollow’s pain, he began again, "Spring forth from the earth, oh graven dressings. Let the Pharoh’s burial commence. Bakudou #5, Mummification".

His classmates fell silent as Kidou bandages wrapped around the Hollow and restrained him. Sho rushed at the Hollow and began slashing at him with his Zanpakutou. He squatted slightly before leaping into the air, ready to slice through its head with the final blow, despite sharing the same height as the Hollow. The Hollow was not so easily disposed of. It ripped through the Kidou bandages and sent its fist flying at Sho, the young Shinigami-in-training hit the floor hard and his classmates let out a sigh.

"Looks like he’s failed," shouted one of them, "Poor Sho," he remarked sarcastically.

Dai looked over and noticed his friend moving slightly, "No!" he cried, "not yet… he’s still got fight left in him."

Several gasps could be heard as Sho struggled to his feet for the third, using his Zanpakutou for balance.
The Hollow looked at him and looked to say something, but it only managed a grunt and Sho let out a sigh of relief, he didn't want that sort of trouble.

Sho jumped back as the Hollow’s fist crashed through the floor he’d previously been standing on, "Converge light into spaces of darkness. Hadou #4, Byakurai!"

The Hollow was hit through the chest with a powerful blast, piercing him and sending him to the floor, the first time Sho had accomplished this. Sho’s classmates watched on as he sprung forward with most of the energy he had left and sent his sword slicing through the Hollow’s head, killing it.

"Congratulations," his instructor said simply, loud enough for the class to hear, "…Shinigami."
 
Hello PeaCe, and here we go~


"˜And was it the right answer?' Dai asked, staring quite contently at Sho, the reason he had died all those years ago.
Sho looked up from the book he had been reading, it wasn't that he was being rude, but some time had passed since the two of them spoke and Dai had previously been lost in deep thought.
"˜Of course it was the right answer,' Sho replied casually, "˜how often do I give the wrong answer?'
Dai let out a laugh, "˜Not very often, I must say. You really need to stop studying so much, take a break; relax. We might be dead but that doesn't mean we can't live a little...'
"˜I quite like how I spend my time, thankyou,' Sho replied acidly, still not retracting his eyes from the book he was reading, "˜I've enjoyed virtually every bit of my time here... apart from the whole adjusting to being dead part, of course.'
"˜Of course,' Dai nodded, "˜but you haven't made any friends? Doesn't that bother you? Only ever talking to me?'

You should be using the actual quotation marks like " " instead of ' ' for when people are speaking. If someone is speaking and quoting something then it would be like this:

"Blah blah said 'ooogaboogah' so I said blah."

And of course, you have the dreaded 'no space between paragraphs' syndrome. It should look like the rest of your app as such:

"And was it the right answer?" Dai asked, staring quite contently at Sho, the reason he had died all those years ago.

Sho looked up from the book he had been reading, it wasn't that he was being rude, but some time had passed since the two of them spoke and Dai had previously been lost in deep thought.

"Of course it was the right answer," Sho replied casually, "how often do I give the wrong answer?"

Dai let out a laugh, "Not very often, I must say. You really need to stop studying so much, take a break; relax. We might be dead but that doesn't mean we can't live a little..."

"I quite like how I spend my time, thank you," Sho replied acidly, still not retracting his eyes from the book he was reading, "I've enjoyed virtually every bit of my time here... apart from the whole adjusting to being dead part, of course."

"Of course," Dai nodded, "but you haven't made any friends? Doesn't that bother you? Only ever talking to me?"

You pretty much have the proper grammar and punctuation going, GJ, so just fix these minor thingies and it'll look all nice <3
 
App staff here!~

Roo just said everything I wanted to. n_n Make the correctons she recommended and I'll come back to give you a full review.

Hint - It looks pretty good so far minus the zanpakutou. I think such a unique design is best left for released forms but I'll ask the release staff about it before I tell you that you can't have anything that big. n_n
 
Hey PeaCe aka Test- your future Captain speaking, I saw you in chat the other night.

Like Roo said, double space your formatting, Seika's right with the quotes, but I see you've fixed almost all of it.

I have a few things worth mentioning... but they're kind of meh... cause Kubo's inconsistent. He said before that it's nearly impossible to find your old friends/family after you die and get to Soul Society, but later disavowed that with Chad meeting parakeet boy later (duuuuh).

That and retaining the memories of said friends, which you kind of hinted at in your sample chapter... despite Sho not remembering anything else. That was in the movie, but yeah... I don't mind all that much since he could have just happened to start all friendships all over again with them, or you could just have his memories of his friends that strong and unbreakable. *shrug* Just pointing it out for canonical sake, if you count the movie as such. Either way that's not that big a deal with me.

Another thing, even though it's cliche and a lot of people do it (hell, I did), was your Hollow fight in the sample chapter. If it can speak (although it only spoke one word), that would imply that it's gained a consciousness and is pretty strong. A Hollow at your level would sadly just grunt and roar and be dumb kind of, only fueled by hunger. But it's just one word, and this is a sample chapter, but do keep that in mind for future reference.

The Zanpakutou thing is another matter too- you can just ask the staff about it come time.

Otherwise, it's a good application. Your writing is nice, you have a good character that's pretty fitting for my Division.

You'll more than likely get accepted, and I can't wait to collab with you soon. ^^
 
"Single or double quotation marks denote either speech or a quotation. Neither style – single or double – is an absolute rule, though double quotation marks are preferred in the United States, and both single and double quotation marks are used in the United Kingdom. A publisher’s or even an author’s style may take precedence over national general preferences."

I write fiction whenever I'm not procrastinating, and I use '...' for speech. I actually had this discussion with a friend over MSN last year and flicked through a few different novels, Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl. Most used ' for speech. I can see you guys prefer " over here, so I'll use it.

I'm not sure on the canon behind retaining memories, but I always assumed it was possible as such. I mean, as you said the whole Chad/Little boy thing. Also, notice that the characters mentioned in my biography were also in the sample chapter - they were learning Shinigami also. I never made claim that he found them in Rukongai, it's quite possible he met them once again at the academy.
On that note, one of them was a strong love interest and the other his true best friend, and perhaps by the end of his short life, his ONLY friend. I'm fairly sure (as you suggested) he'd have strong memories regarding them.
"despite Sho not remembering anything else." I can't remember saying that he didn't remember anything else?

The Hollow speaking was never really intended. It just sorta happened towards the end, mostly out of lack of him not speaking previously. The variations on, "The Hollow swung at Sho" were becoming dreadful.

The whole Zanpakutou thing... isn't an issue at all for me. I don't care whether he gets the modification or not... It was simply something I put in for uniqueness if anything. Feel free to judge it as you will.
 
Hello there! You know who I am and what I do so let's get to it -

Mmm, I notice you added some categories to your application. I don't really mind that so much but I do wish you would have stuck with the guidelines I made.

Name looks fine. Age is great. Division "" yay. You've got a good captain going in to that division. n_n

You've got the right kind of persona going in to the research and development division too! I like his curious nature and how he can come across as arrogant about what he knows.

Whoa. You've got a really cool, unique personal description going on here! I like his quirky style a lot. Lately I've had a lot of good ninth apps and this one is no different. When dealing with the research and development group, you have a lot of creative freedom with physical design and you took full advantage of that with his attire.

I don't mind the unique design of the hilt at all and neither did the release staff. The only request is you clarify what is 'standard size'. n_n

The biography is sad but fine for all intents and purposes.

In you r stats , I love you concentration on kidou. I always felt that was the most appropriate for the scientists since they research kidou too.

The sample chapter... Mmm. I don't think I mind so much that you found one of your friends at the academy. It don't think its really that easy to meet up with people from your past life whether its in the streets of Rukongai, in the halls of the academy, or the corridors Seireitei since its not only placed keeping you apart but times. For two friends to die, go to Rukongai, learn about shinigami, realize their potential, and join the academy at the same time is rather unlikely but not impossible and as long as you have a good reason for it to happen between both characters, I'm fine with it. Anymore than one friend though and.. eh. I'm sorta iffy about that. I'm not going to tell you that you can't meet up with both of your previous friends but I am strongly advising you to not have any 'coincidences' pop up like that or your story is going to become very unbelievable. In my opinion, having one of them stay in Rukongai to run in to later on in your plot, or even one having turned hollow would have been more interesting but its your plot~.

I'm also in agreement with a previous reviewer. I don't like the hollow talking at all. I know you did it to break up the grunting but I rather like the animalistic way you wrote the beast. I do ask that you take out the hollow speaking at all ( even if it is one word ). Otherwise, I love the way you defeated it. It wasn't an easy battle.

Also, good job taking a simple conversation and making it more interesting than most do. A horrible habit some people fall in to is -

"Talking like this."

"What like this?"

"Yeah, without any 'he said' or 'she said' business inside either!"

"That's terribly boring to read."

"I know."

So I applaud you for that. As a last note, you really made your PC come to life in your chapter. I totally got his character and you have a good knack for writing him and his quirky attitude.

All in all, I want you to clarify what is the size of your zanpakutou and take out the hollow talking ( maybe reconsider knowing both friends in your after life though I won't disapprove you if you don't change it "" only a suggestion ) and post in the final draft thread! I'll give you further instructions from there.
 
All in all, I want you to clarify what is the size of your zanpakutou and take out the hollow talking ( maybe reconsider knowing both friends in your after life though I won't disapprove you if you don't change it "" only a suggestion ) and post in the final draft thread! I'll give you further instructions from there.

Thanks =D

I've clarified Sho's observation of the standard size to be around 70cm. Thus, his is around 105cm.
The Hollow's speech has been removed, and so has the love interest, condemned to a Chapter later on no doubt.

I'll go and post it ;]
 
Good job! I stamp thee with the mark of APPROVED! Here's what you should do now -

1.) Post your profile in the Shinigami Registy. There's several profile to look through for ideas.

2.) Post your stats in the Personal Records section in the newest thread so your grader next week can easily find them.

3.) In the writing section create a new thread and in there post your chapter. If you write any more chapters this week, those will also be posted in that thread. You have until Saturday, 11:59 PM (EST) to write for Week 26

Congratulations! <3
 
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