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Application: Leon Takeda

ZeroWing

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Name: Leon Takeda

Age: Born 1986(or an equivalent time where information technology is fairly advance), 16 at death.

Persona: Within the Shinigami Leon is not someone who catches the eye. Neither his personality nor his appearance makes a strong impression. Somewhat reserved at first, Leon chooses his words and actions carefully in front of strangers. To his friends within the division, he is a patient and loyal person. He almost always seems to be listening in a conversation, but when he does speak, his words carries great insight. The division had come to utilize his dependability and talents in technology. Leon gets his fair share of harassment from the stronger Shinigami of other divisions. His carefree attitude about this however, seems to bother his few friends more than himself. The boy exhibits remarkable abilities to improvise, often make use of whatever happens to be lying around to get the job done. Unfortunately he has a deep fear of public speaking, and frequently stutters if forced to do so. Despite his ability to get the job done Leon always have an valid excuse to dodge out of group meetings and panel discussions, which his superiors attributes to "shear luck" or "extremely good planning" .

Physical Stature: Leon is about 5 feet 6 inches, a slim fellow who always seems a bit unnerved. He has short black hair and heavy glasses. The boy has large, lively hazel eyes, always looking about with a sense of curiosity. He is most often seen entering or exiting the library when he is not performing duties for Division 8.

Division and Seat: Division 8, unseated.(I noticed that here Division 8 is the Science & Tech department and not Division 12, sorry, too much anime.)

Zanpakutou: HeiKen. Leon's Heiken is crafted a bit differently that typical katana. Its blade is shorter and wider, sacrificing attack power for defense. Heiken's hilt is round and curved like that of a saber's, thus fortifying the wielders hands very well. However, that also means the user is forced to wield the sword one handed. Because of this Leon tends to adopt a fencing stance when using HeiKen, turning his body to minimize hit area and leaving his other hand free. Heiken was crafted from a single ore harvested from the Maze Mountains, where several large magnetized deposits frequently misleads travelers' compass. Heiken itself strangely, continue to exhibit its strong magnetic properties even after forging. Once it was placed in an armory and in a week turned a number of weapons in its direct vicinity magnetic and hard to use, since they all get tangled up in a fight or practice just like Heiken. Heiken was considered a useless Zanpaktou but was picked up by Leon, who found it to be exotic and unique. Division 8 made a special sheathe to contain Heiken to prevent it from interfering with sensitive electronic equipments. Otherwise the sword appears unremarkable and plain.

Shi Kai: N/A
Ban Kai: N/A

Biography: Leon Takeda is a boy of Japanese/English Descent. He was born with a debilitating disease, a type of muscular dystrophe known as "Duchenne's" . He was unable to participate in physical activities most of the time and became introverted and socially distant. The fast growing cyber-technology however, proved to be his savior. He dived into the world of computers and became engrossed, eventually becoming a self taught expert in information gathering and hacking. However, the disease eventually caught up with him. Leon found his death to be a most liberating event. Suddenly he is no longer confined by the limitations of his body. Eventually he entered the Shinigami academy, eager to learn more about this new world that he now is a part of. Finally, graduation came.


Stats:
"¢ Spiritual Pressure: 20
"¢ Zanjutsu: 15
"¢ Hakuda: 0
"¢ Hohou: 25
"¢ Kidou: 40
"¢ Connection: 0

Sample Chapter:

"The transformation process causes permanent trauma to the spirit's psyche, the resulting hollow loses all former memories and instead takes on an animalistic instinct. However, cases where the hollow is able to recall events prior to the transformation have been reported..."


"Interesting..." <keyboard tapping>

"All hollows are driven by an insatiable thirst for spiritual energy to which they are drawn. According to our compiled data banks, 87% of all isolated hollow attacks have been directed toward earthbound ghosts and living humans who exhibiting spiritual energy above 95% of the normal values. However, the mechanism by which hollows are able to sense spiritual energy is still currently under research. Due to our limited access to the Dangai, and the hollow's tendency to attack and retreat, makes data collection difficult. Preliminary dissections of captive species also have not provided any clear answers..."

"Hey Leon!" a man's voice calls out.

"Contrary to popular belief, a hollow's ability is not limited to physical attacks. Since hollows are pure spiritual entities like us, it is probable that some specimens possess the inherent ability to manipulate spiritual energy to form attacks similar to that of kidou. Because of this, it is also unscientific to estimate a hollow's threat level through assessment of size alone. Further research has shown that..."

"Hey Kid! I am talking to you here!" as foot steps draws closer.

<tap>

"Yes Jin-Sempai, what is it?" The boy turned from the screen and faced the man who now stands before him.

"I see you are still working on that inventory list. What's the matter, you are slow today." The man's face reeked of mockery.

"It certainly is a lot of work sempai. I've only completed 75% so far." The boy adjusted his glasses and replied.

"That's great, because I've got another task for you, Leon." Jin handed the boy a thick notebook. "The captain wants me... I mean you... to complete a risk assessment report on our laboratories, and he wants it done by Monday."

Leon looked down at the notebook and fixed his gaze back at Jin, "So he caught you."

"What?"

"The captain caught you slacking off, and asked you how that inventory list is coming. It's a trapped question, Jin-sempai. If you say it's not done you would have gotten scolded harshly, so you must have told him you finished it." The boy shrugged his shoulders.

"Completing the report by Monday is possible, but I need to get to it right away." The boy tried his best to hide his laughter and look serious in front of an awkward Jin. He continued, "If you don't mind finishing that remaining 25% of that inventory report."

"Oh come on Leon, Help me out just this once..."

"Will you two stop SLACKING off and come help us?!" an obviously annoyed female voice drew Jin and Leon's attention. "Yes Madam!" the two quickly rushed out of the room. Kio is a seated officer of the Division 8 squad, and she's got quite a temper. Leon and Jin followed her to the laboratory holding area, where a group of Shinigami had just brought in a large veiled cage.

"We ambushed this one just as it went in for the bait, it took five tranquilizer shots and went down like fish in a barrel!" One of the Shinigami boasted bashfully.

"Rules are Rules! Transfer and detainment of all hollows within the laboratory must be supervised by at least one seated officer and at least 7 Shinigami total." Kio laughed. "Since I am here, adding you two make seven, not that it really makes a difference." Kio scoffed. "Let's get started! Open the containment doors!"

Two Shinigami opened the doors as the remaining ones guard the cage. "Now disarm the spiritual wards and move the cage into the cell using your kidou!" Kio gave out the next set of instructions.

Just as the lights on the spiritual wards went down and the shinigamis began on concentrate on the kidou, Leon sensed something awry. A dangerous aura began emanating from within the cage. Before the boy had time to let out a warning cry, the cage was ripped to bits in a thunderous clash from the inside.

A giant figure rose from within. It stood about twelve feet tall, towering over stunned shinigamis. Casting broken chains from its scaly body, the creature let out a mighty roar. With no delay, a wide arc from one of its deadly claws sent the two closest Shinigami flying into the opposite side of the room.

Two other Shinigami quickly reached for their swords, but the monstrosity is still one step ahead. It snatched one of them and hurls him into the other shinigami. The shear power of the blow knocked them both unconscious instantly.

Still in shock of the sudden turn of events, Leon suddenly saw a figure dashing toward the hollow with blinding speed. It was Kio, she is the most experienced warrior among them and it certainly shows. Sensing her murderous reiatsu, the monstrosity turned to his new opponent with another strike from his claw. However, Kio had already anticipated the attack; she leaped over the telegraphed strike. Her Zanpakutou only a few feet away from the hollow's ivory mask, it would appear that victory draws near. Just in that moment, Leon noticed something. The creature is forming some sort of a seal with his other hand.

A stream of lighting emerged from the creature's maw aimed directly at Kio, who was helpless in midair. The burst of energy struck her and slammed her against the wall two dozen steps away. Kio fell down face first and did not seem to be getting back up.

"Contrary to popular belief, a hollow's ability is not limited to physical attacks." The boy thought of the passage that he read earlier. "Watch out Leon!" The startled boy fell down as a beam of lighting narrowly missed him. It was Jin who tackled the boy just in the nick of time.

"Snap out of it!" with Jin's voice the boy regained his focus. He saw the hollow slowly walking toward Kio. "What can I do?!" he desperately scanned the scattered things on the ground. "That's it!"

The hollow took another few steps as a glass flask struck his mask from the side and shatters. The Liquid that spew forth immediately corroded the hollow's body with a loud hiss. However, it was far too diluted to cause significant harm. Sending out a cry of anguish, the hollow turned to this new threat. Leon, Zanpaktou in hand is now facing the creature from across the room. The enraged hollow once again gathered energy as an azure glow began to manifest over his mouth.

"Are you crazy kid!" Jin shouted out as the beam of lighting speed toward the boy. However, the moment it made contact with the boy's Zanpaktou, the energy seemed to be absorbed without harm. Confused by the unexpected reaction, the hollow continued to power his electric beam with spiritual energy. The boy felt his Zanpaktou getting hotter as massive amount of current passes through it. The intense heat made it hard to grip, yet he gritted his teeth and held on.

"Kire! Shihane!"

The stunned hollow turned, and noticed Kio now standing, but without her Zanpaktou in hand. It was the last thing he saw.

The hollow's body dissipates along with the severed mask, as the giant boomerang returned to Kio's hand. She keeled over, grasping at her charred uniform where she was struck.

"Someone get 3rd division down here right now! We have 5 wounded!" Jin continued to run about like a headless chicken as more Shinigami is rushing into the docking room.

"Good work Leon! Are you hurt?" Kio forced a smile on her face. The boy shakes his head. "But how did you..." Kio's voice inquired.

The boy pointed to his Zanpaktou, a broken chain wrapped around it while the other end is attached to the charred metal railings against the wall.

"So you diverted his electric attack through the...I see...Nice job kid!" Kio smiled.
 
Ok... so... like... yeah. Hi ZeroWingie.


ZeroWing said:
Age: Born 1986, 16 at death,
Since the RPG's plot takes place about... err.. a millenium or so into the future, that would make your character pretty old - not that it's wrong, but I just thought you should be aware of that.

And what's with the comma at the end? o_o;

ZeroWing said:
Persona: Virtues: Patient, knowledgeable, improvise well. Flaws: Doesn't stand up for himself(In consequence always get pushed around), stutters when emotional, distrustful with strangers.
Err... not gonna work.
The entirety of the application should be well written and explained, we (as in the application acceptance staff) don't look at lists as guages for your writing skills, so I'd suggest changing the way you built this part. Less groceries list, more smex writing, kthx.

Same goes for the zanapkutou's sealed form description, btw.

ZeroWing said:
Sample Paragraph:
You got 33 paragraphs, I think you meant "Sample Chapter." :D

Here comes a tilde
[SIZE=+1]~[/SIZE]
Did you see that?! It just passed by! =O

Grand Finale:
You seem to be a more then a decent writer, it's just that you slacked off a little bit (like on your persona section), and I'm just used to reading chapters written in past tense, not present; you might wanna think about switching, since most, if not all, people on this RPG write in the past tense, but it's solely subjected to your choice.

Other the things pointed about, I got no major issues with your sample chapter. Just remember:

Gin is ghey.
Snapple is god.
Not necessarily in the given order.​
 
None too shabby. I agree with Polky that you should flesh out the personality, but the rest of the application seems fine to me.

After skimming the sample chapter, I didn't find any major mistakes (just a few grammatical ones), but I found your tone disrupting. It's probably just a personal preference, but writing in the past tense ("he ___ed" instead of "he ____s") seems to be a bit easier on the ol' grammatical eyes. This is, of course, a matter of preference for myself, so don't go back and change it unless you find yourself dissatisfied.

Good luck.
 
INTERVIEW PENDING
 
*spazzes all over the thread*

Congrats! You're accepted into the RPG!

*stams big red stamp of approval =D*
APPROVED
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Now go and post your profile and get writing, we're just in the plot missions time so it's a golden opportunity to catch some points real quick!

It's raining points~
 

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