First off, I just wanna say that you guys collab together exceptionally well. I don't know how long you took on this, but the transition from person-to-person was butter-smooth, and I always really appreciate that in a collab.
BOY SHIT SURE HIT THE FAN HERE, HUH BOYS AND GIRLS?
Kyle mentioned to me a collab with peeps heading to a ruin way up north, and here she be! I love pretty much everything about this collab, so it's hard for me to really knuckle-in and try critiquing or criticising it. The description of wagons, terrain, landscape, ruins, are all awesome and spot-on. The dialogue between every character - both your PCs and the Arctoans escorting them - feels natural and easy, believable. The progression of events, the pace, is very nice.
There's a steady buildup from the wagon to the trudging through the snow to the entrance into the ruins to the ruins super-spiting the shit out of them. If anything, I would've liked them to have been in the ruins a TINY bit longer before everything went to hell - but I also get that then people wouldn't have been able to GTFO as they did in your collab. SO I GET YA. I like the drama and potential for MORE DRAMA of having the characters forcibly split up, especially after the clear closeness and camaraderie I was feeling from them all before.
Ky suggested I get in on this but my guy is in a ruin that is secretly an underground science-base full of vistras and monsters that were experimented on (like some Outlast or SCP shit) so I don't THINK WE ARE THINKING THE SAME TYPES OF RUINS SO I WILL LET YOU DO YOU and look forward to seeing where this shitstorm goes. GREAT READ, ALL OF YOU WERE AMAZING, TEN OUT OF TEN, GO GO GO WRITE MORE
Several weeks later than intended, but I kept putting shorter pieces ahead of it. That's no complaint about the length, however, because this was about the perfect length for what you put together. It was long enough to get in a wealth of scenery and atmosphere without getting bogged down. I really liked how this collab took the time to build things up, and I'll mirror Berri's thoughts that things could have gone a little longer before everything went south, but one thing I do appreciate is the confusion everyone was in after events picked up. Even the healing relied on panicked but practiced reaction as opposed to everyone knowing clearly what to do.
A good, strong piece and hopefully a sign of quality to look forward to as the arc progresses.