Reviewed [Collab] Week 378: Colloquium - Feedback
- Thread starter Laermont
- Start date
Right away, I would like to say that the description of the Impraevitas building is masterfully crafted. It presents the perfect image for the organization, prim, proper, forgettable. The way the first floor is given to a nice presentation while the upper floors are pure business and the basements are purely need-to-know also encapsulates the whole operation in a broad sense. All of this done with imagery and atmosphere; little details like frosted glass dividers and the smell of old papers building up the setting in my head. I can picture myself standing there listening to the boring office drone and scratching of pencils.
Throughout the exchange, Lux shows himself to be calm, prepared, and surprisingly accepting of the idea of alien invasion. Whether that's his poker face or speaks to the sort of clandestine matters that a seasoned Impraevitas contractor deals with, I'm not sure, but the structure of the turns implies that this calm is not a mistake or oversight. I find myself a little disappointed in Laermont's side of the conversation; I know he's a capable investigator with his own credible achievements under his belt, but throughout this discussion, he is essentially a customer seeking Lux's consultation. I would have liked to see him be more animated in discussing what he needed Lux to do while Lux was in a position of dragging out information and advising Laermont where the redhead could be best utilized.
Part of this may come down to everyone being a little rusty on the collab side of things -- we've seen a lot more chapters than anything else lately -- but remember that characters can be frustrated with or terse with one another. They can also be demanding, particularly given that Lux is flexing his information over the quaestor; it would have been interesting if Laermont could have at least made subtle allusions to Lux's family or suggested utilizing specific secret resources of the Impraevitas, something to level the playing field between them.
Looking forward to seeing how this progresses going forward.
Throughout the exchange, Lux shows himself to be calm, prepared, and surprisingly accepting of the idea of alien invasion. Whether that's his poker face or speaks to the sort of clandestine matters that a seasoned Impraevitas contractor deals with, I'm not sure, but the structure of the turns implies that this calm is not a mistake or oversight. I find myself a little disappointed in Laermont's side of the conversation; I know he's a capable investigator with his own credible achievements under his belt, but throughout this discussion, he is essentially a customer seeking Lux's consultation. I would have liked to see him be more animated in discussing what he needed Lux to do while Lux was in a position of dragging out information and advising Laermont where the redhead could be best utilized.
Part of this may come down to everyone being a little rusty on the collab side of things -- we've seen a lot more chapters than anything else lately -- but remember that characters can be frustrated with or terse with one another. They can also be demanding, particularly given that Lux is flexing his information over the quaestor; it would have been interesting if Laermont could have at least made subtle allusions to Lux's family or suggested utilizing specific secret resources of the Impraevitas, something to level the playing field between them.
Looking forward to seeing how this progresses going forward.