Infinite Possibilities (2000)
Another cool, interesting chapter, and I am happy to see another Eos-growth chapter. I was half-expecting some sorta weird one-week-Eos, one-week-Dawn back and forth, and was trying to mentally prepare myself for the confusion. But this, I like! I remember mentioning Eos’s reaction to the Occultus room as being odd, though I suppose her taking the gravitas of her papaw’s words to heart is a good enough reason to be nervous -- and I also really like how you actually had her enjoy herself, sorta make-pretending with the infinite possibilities (ROLL CREDITS) for her past, present, and future.
Especially as a setup to being able to change her way of thinking and acting to fit the subtlety needed for Occultus. A+ Totally dug it.
I think I mentioned that I felt some of her ‘daydreams’ or visions felt a bit, uh, out of reach or out of the scope of an 8-year-old -- because any 8 year old I’ve known isn’t thinking much further than, like, the nearest holiday or when they can go outside and play, etc. On that note, though, I think you did have a point, pointing out that Eos ain’t like no gal I EVER DID SEEN, and I can’t at all discount that growing up in PT world and being a magical prodigy and having witnessed a murder I indirectly caused might change a kid. SO GO FOR IT, ARTISTIC LICENSE THAT SHIT.
The only thing, structure-wise, I might rework about the chapter would be the very first two paragraphs, which I would switch around I think. While I totes like the idea of leading with the infinite-lanterns and pendulum movement, I feel like having the first little paragraph to set the scene at large (and name Eos for subsequent uses of ‘she’ or ‘her’ or whatnot) might still be better overall? That’s just my take on it, though!
Will: 200 / 200 + 100 Bonus(tm) Bonus
