Reviewed [O] Week 338 - Feedback
- Thread starter Redfin
- Start date
Pho
Member
It took me a moment to realize I was reading a musical XD Realizing that, I read through it asking myself, "what do I hear and see?"
Ouch.
The Stranger only appears in one scene, which seems odd for someone who has so much to say. If Sahin escaped, he could have been the first person who saw her, which provides opportunity for his role to be something more. Mister Sandberg's background is shown as how he uses it for justification. Misses Balfrost following up on her offer to help shows her moral backbone, which adds depth to her character. Now we see that Sahin has a similar background to Mister Sandberg. It could have been interesting to see them argue of what is and isn't justified by their backgrounds.
We then see everyone following their roles as the break-in plays out and... there's the twist. And then THE twist. Nice double-twist, I like it. We then get to see the final conflict, which fits Sahin's interospective journey and results in a believeable, character driven ending. A horrible, well-done ending.
I can see the narrator giving some dubious characters skulking around the stage a side-eye. Next I see the difference between Sahin and her co..."workers", and a spot where you missed the orange-ing. The questioning through Sahin's monologue makes it interactive, because each question she wonders about herself, I wonder about her. The Badhand Gang sound like an absolute terror to their victims, but hilarious to themselves. The Next Heist is where I get a better look at the leader's character through his interaction with Sahin. The eel comments are a nice touch. The Thief and the Medal shows Sahin's uncertainty throwing her off-balance (In more ways than one). It then finishes with my favourite transition in the piece, where I can see the stage lights dimming as Sahin vanishes into the literal and metaphorical darkness, with the light on the old lady's face fading last.
Ouch.
The Stranger only appears in one scene, which seems odd for someone who has so much to say. If Sahin escaped, he could have been the first person who saw her, which provides opportunity for his role to be something more. Mister Sandberg's background is shown as how he uses it for justification. Misses Balfrost following up on her offer to help shows her moral backbone, which adds depth to her character. Now we see that Sahin has a similar background to Mister Sandberg. It could have been interesting to see them argue of what is and isn't justified by their backgrounds.
We then see everyone following their roles as the break-in plays out and... there's the twist. And then THE twist. Nice double-twist, I like it. We then get to see the final conflict, which fits Sahin's interospective journey and results in a believeable, character driven ending. A horrible, well-done ending.