Reviewed [Oc/Be] Week 245 - Feedback

[MoonlitRain014]

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Oc/Be] Week 245 by MoonlitRain014.

 

[Dysney]

Well hullo! This was an enjoyable read, it's nice to see another potential couple forming. I like how their interactions were more about establishing companionship than the mushy-gushy stuff. Their bantering and Aeria's hovering between being shy and sassy kept the thread entertaining.

There were a few blips, and I only bring them up because they were a bit distracting. Mwn, you've got extra quotation marks showing up after closing quotes and at the ends of sentences. Perhaps it's just an odd formatting thing.

“It’s such a clear night. This is why I love getting out of the city! Do you ever wonder what it’d be like to go up into those stars? They seem so cold and distant, but I’ve heard that they might be some kind of fire.” ”

(In the following example, you're also missing a period at the end of Aeria's dialogue. )

“Sometimes children’s tales hold a grain of truth.” There was a softness to Aeria’s eyes as she spoke, but she quickly focused on the task at hand. ”

As for Dante (your username escapes me currently, sorry), there was one spot where you used wander instead of wonder.

”Don't be silly, that is just tales they tell to the children,” Dante said with a smile, though he did wander a bit about the what if before setting his gaze more to the task at hand.

Other than that, it was a good read, the spacing between posts was done nicely so that it read naturally. I'd like to see perhaps a bit more narration for Dante's side of things. Good work you two!