Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Oc/Oc] Week 188: Stashed for Safe Keeping by Redfin.
Reviewed [Oc/Oc] Week 188: Stashed for Safe Keeping - Feedback
- Thread starter Redfin
- Start date
Sorry for the delay on this. I looked in Discord and thought I saw that Minj posted some commentary, but it was actually on what was posted before yours.
This collab + chapter didn't really offer a great deal in comparison to what we've seen in the past, but that's not to say it was unnecessary. It's a transitional piece, and nothing was really done to disguise or distract from that. I appreciate the brief debate between Diamantus and Amanita, based on their differing backgrounds. For Amanita, it would make perfect sense to turn to the Conexus. As I recall, she only got involved personally to begin with because she went to the Conexus and was told they literally didn't have the manpower while dealing with the invading demons.
Watch out for small errors, they cropped up throughout the writing this time. I saw at least one there/their/they're mistake, a few missing words, and a typo in the very first sentence.
One thing of interest: there are sewers large enough for Diamantus to use, but more than that, there is an undercity of sorts in most parts of Terminus, and at least some areas can be many layers deep. Not all of it has been explored, but some of the deepest known chambers are where some of the first demvir were discovered. There would be some places where the upper parts of the undercity are used by civilians, but there'd be more unknown or forgotten ones that would make good hidden bases for Diamantus.
This collab + chapter didn't really offer a great deal in comparison to what we've seen in the past, but that's not to say it was unnecessary. It's a transitional piece, and nothing was really done to disguise or distract from that. I appreciate the brief debate between Diamantus and Amanita, based on their differing backgrounds. For Amanita, it would make perfect sense to turn to the Conexus. As I recall, she only got involved personally to begin with because she went to the Conexus and was told they literally didn't have the manpower while dealing with the invading demons.
Watch out for small errors, they cropped up throughout the writing this time. I saw at least one there/their/they're mistake, a few missing words, and a typo in the very first sentence.
One thing of interest: there are sewers large enough for Diamantus to use, but more than that, there is an undercity of sorts in most parts of Terminus, and at least some areas can be many layers deep. Not all of it has been explored, but some of the deepest known chambers are where some of the first demvir were discovered. There would be some places where the upper parts of the undercity are used by civilians, but there'd be more unknown or forgotten ones that would make good hidden bases for Diamantus.
Chiming in here;
I enjoyed the clash between Diamantus and Amanita. I think I commented on the tension between the two of them earlier, so it's nice to see it continuing. I did sense a bit of increased tensions this time around because they disagreed over Conexus and actually had a short debate of sorts. Just here to say keep up the good work. I'm interested to see how these tensions develop. Will it make working together difficult or will they find some common ground?
I enjoyed the clash between Diamantus and Amanita. I think I commented on the tension between the two of them earlier, so it's nice to see it continuing. I did sense a bit of increased tensions this time around because they disagreed over Conexus and actually had a short debate of sorts. Just here to say keep up the good work. I'm interested to see how these tensions develop. Will it make working together difficult or will they find some common ground?