Release Submission Thread

[fallen_one]

shikai

Shikai
Ranmin Shuuritsu​

「打ち砕け、乱旻宗律！」
"Uchikudake, Ranmin Shuuritsu!"
"Creed of the Pandemoniac Heavens"​

[Spiritual Manifestation]

Ranmin Shuuritsu

She appears to be extremely young, and wears a bright blue bow in her flowing long blond hair. She has pail, almost dead looking skin, and wears a knee high bright blue silky dress. She never moves her mouth to talk, what she says is telepathically sent into Sato’s mind, though she moves her mouth to smile quite often.. She acts very giddy and always seems to be happy, she is the complete opposite of Sato. She is never seen with an angry visage, and just being around her makes anyone feel better. She speaks to Sato like an older brother and is constantly shouting words of encouragement at him while he’s fighting, such as “Yeah, beat him up!” Her comments on him fighting always sound rather naive, and they usually end up irritating him.

"Shes loads of fun, and your no fun...she completes you!" -ice age the movie

[Release Form]
Forgive me, it was done on paint.​

Shikai

After the release phrase is given, his entire zanpakutou glows a bright white as it all molds into a cylinder like object and begins to grow outward as a large mace head starts to protrude while a much smaller mace head appears on the other side. A black orb can be seen on either side of the weapon, the orbs always seem to be flowing inward, it almost looks like the orbs are pulling in random particles at all times. Both mace heads appear to be made of steel, that attach to a staff like handle made of a light brown wood.

At will when Sato swings the large mace head, or the smaller mace head, it will detach while the orb stays on the main part of the weapon with a black tendril keeps hold of the mace head, letting him swing it like a flail. The tendril can extend to a maximum of four feet, and can wrap around an object or person.

( In addition to the +10% reiatsu from releasing your shikai, he gets an additional +5% Zanjutsu)

[ Ability 1 ]
“Kyuuten Fukumaden”
“Heavens Pandemonium”​

This passive ability increases the force behind the swing upon impact with any object. The increase of force gives the attack more knockback, making the attack harder to parry. If nothing is hit, then the force behind the weapon remains the same.

 

[louhi]

week 66
​

just a note- yea my hand is still broken so excuse my typos and general lazy typing.

we would also like to point out that the proliferation of male characters having little girls and hot chicks as their zan manifestation is really weird. Its like ur all a buncha ladies trapped in a man's body or somethin





shiro - resubmit

alright you have a number of problems going on here.

first off you introduce a giant summon without any parameters. Does the summon take on doreran's attributes when he's piloting it, and can't do anything otherwise? t's not really clear. also, if its feminine, it has boobs, right? are you riding in its boobs?!

the giant summon along with that ability both at no cost becomes a bit much. Better idea might be to have the summon span over both form and ability

1st attack is too low in cost for what it does.

who is wielding the blades, doreran or the werewolf thing? he has to get out of his summon to use the last two attacks? its unclear. The cost on the last attack doesnt seem to fit either.


will - changes n resubmit

ur pretty close, just a couple of things need mdification.

for the ability moot would like a more concrete list of the sort of things that can be learned in the way of technical info (if you are able to learn what feats they have or zan abilities or w/e) fo round of exposure. the access to personal info can stay vague. it doesnt really need anything about comparative rei

for the 2nd atack he prefers that it not be limited only to kidou due to only vizard and shini having it. he suggest a change in tho cost but u will have to IM him and get him to explain it. he says read the barrier section in the faq.

isa - resubmit w changes

you have some redundancy here with two draining effects. stick with just the 1st one and remove rei drain from the flowers

change the drain to 2% and max out at draining 10% of your rei from a single opponent. (you probably got yours from rits kai. well he was supposed to have a cap as wellbut never edited in fr some reason)

for the flower some changes are needed too. eithr reduce the effects or add a time limit and appropriate cost

HG - resubmit

the first two things are fine, although they should just be labeled as abilities since techniques are an entirely different thing in the RP.

the attack just doesn't work. we don't have percent chances to hit in this RP because fights dont work that way. you should probably just scrap this entirely and come up with some other binding thing or equip some bakudou instead.

im not sure what you are asking for with a 'hopeful ability', if you want it, right it out and include it as part of your form or as an ability or something.

for the suit thing im a lil confused because it seems like wind is saying you can only have a modified shihakusho, but your description says you arent wearing one at all. dunno abt tht but w/e


finesse - resubmit

paroxysm: you've taken a simple idea and somehow complicated it into the point of absurdity. all you really need to say is that any area you cut will seize up in a muscle cramp for a couple seconds or w/e. since you describe it as being caused by your rei being absorbed, im not sure why thers no cost on it. the cost probably need to be reworked on both.

affliction: this is sort of okay but atrophy is weakness, nothing to do with pain.

vizard attack - doesnt really work. you have too many things riding off of a single hit. the cost is weird too.


bladder - changes n resubmit

you spelled katar as 'kantar' a few times, you might want to fix that.

the suggestion ability doesn't really work as is. puppetmaster stuff is not so great. A better idea might be to center around truth telling only

you should probably just drop the catapult attack and make it your vizard attack. its only diluting your other abilities, and moot is not keen to approve 3 ability kais


zeal - resubmit

form is OK except for the instant heal ability.

The ability slot should probablu be occupied by all of the quirks of the form since they are basically abilities of their own right, and then the sticky rocks become an attack. as for the sticky rocks, it's written really oddly and needs to be clarified some.

the attack is huge and only costs 750... not rly workin. what do you mean by 'remains in play'?



fallen - resubmit

check they kai thread for stat boost guidelines. these occupy one of your 3 slots and don't belong in a form.

why are you losing 1%/round?

ability 1: this sentence is a grammatical mess >_< aside from that, its a bit unclear what you intend to be doing with this momentum. try giving 1 or 2 very simple examples of how it works in an actual situation.

ability 2: this giant block of text seems to mostly consist of a bunch of visual effects. were you going for something like ikkaku's bankai? you need to write more clearly and define the actual attack, not the flashy stuff you're doing to lead up to it.

 

[swaswj]

Revised version:

Bankai

Name: Fushou Karil

Form: Sayis' eyes take on the same silver sheen that Karil's have.

The ground beneath Sayis illuminates in an immense circular pattern with a teal eight-pointed spinning star spreading out from the center. There are nine circles, each with a different color and symbol -- these denote the nine spheres of kidou as Sayis sees them, with one in the center and the rest at the tips of the star. The remainder of the circle is a dark orange with large, silvered kanji spread throughout.

The blade of Sayis' shikai explodes outward into millions of tiny glass fragments. This glass dust fills the air around Sayis in a thirty-yard radius. Mostly invisible, the glass winks and flashes into sight periodically, giving the air within Fushou Karil's influence an unsettling sparkling quality. Those within the area immediately feel as if they're being watched, and will at times see a pair of silver eyes or the shadowy form of a panther prowling around them.

Fushou Karil's hilt widens and forms a bright silver semi-circular guard from top to bottom. Its metal is etched with runes and kanji around the edges. An insubstantial blur in the air, the blade expands outward to five feet in length and sixteen inches in width. Despite its size, being immaterial it is still easily wielded in one hand -- the only weight is in the hilt. This blade immediately takes on the effects of Kidou Tsurugi.

Ability - Kanzenhansha Ittai: Targets that fall within Fushou Karil's area are automatically under the effect of Kanzenhansha Ittai. Each round that they are within the glass field, Sayis garners more information about them. This will begin with simple things, such as names, but the ability digs deeper with every turn. Those with higher reiatsu may resist revealing personal information, but cannot entirely prevent it. Weaker targets do not even realize how much of themselves is being displayed. With each sparkle in the air or glimpse of feral eyes, more of their inner selves are laid bare.

The longer a battle goes on, the more Sayis will understand his opponents... both as people and as combatants. He can choose to focus on techniques/feats, kais, or kidou each round.

After one round, their division/caste/organization techniques are made clear. A second round reveals their general or trained feats. For each unique feat, Sayis must spend an additional round. If he focuses on kidou, Sayis can determine five of the target's prepared kidou spells each round. Once a kai has been released, within three rounds Sayis can understand the workings of it.

Attack - Kidou Tsurugi: At a cost of 1% reiatsu per round, Sayis can imbue his sword with any equipped kidou of up to two slots. This grants the sword the properties of the kidou -- such as shocking or burning -- and gives the blade a distinctive appearance. Sayis can unleash the imbued kidou at the normal reiatsu cost either when striking the enemy or by launching the kidou from the blade itself.


Attack - Zenhansha Kigou: Drawing on his zanjutsu stat, Sayis is capable of condensing the glass powder surrounding him into the kanji for Zenhansha Kigou ( 全反射記号) in order to block kidou and kidou-like effects such as Cero. Sayis can reflect the energy back as if he had cast it himself (for better or worse). The ability costs 10% of his reiatsu, each kanji able to reflect 2%. Sayis may use any of the five simultaneously or individually.

Thanks to the effects of Kanzenhansha Ittai, in most cases Sayis will be aware of how much reiatsu is necessary even when unfamiliar with the attack being used.

Attack - Jumon Kousei: Sayis may condense the glass powder surrounding him into writing to form the incantation of any kidou spell he has equipped -- these glass symbols are as durable as his zanpakuto blade. These solid incantations empower the kidou greatly, significantly boosting its damage or strength, whether by ensnaring a bound opponent or by enhancing the efficacy of an attack. This attack costs 5% reiatsu plus the cost of the kidou used, and the effects are boosted by half.

 

[King Zeal]

[Simplified kai and removed the "sticky rocks" portion of it.]
​

BANKAI
​

Name

Netsutoishi to Kekkon (Marriage of Heart & Stone)


Release Stage

When Takebachi places Yuukaiishi on the ground and says “Ban Kai”, the gauntlet (or blade if unreleased) quickly begins to grow, expanding its form out of ebony and azure-colored stone until it grows into its much larger manifestation. A fierce duststorm/sandstorm kicks up around Takebachi, but quickly vanishes once the bankai has completely manifested.


Form/Ability

Earth begins to take over Takebachi's body, bonding with his skin, covering him with a thin layer of a blue and black substance like hardened clay and covering of his entire body save for his feet. These extensions grow sharp talons, the legs look triple-jointed and animalistic, and Takebachi even gains a long serpentine tail. A spiky mane formed from stalagmites covers the back of his neck and much of his chest and shoulders. The rocky extension work in unison to make Takebachi appear like a large, four-legged animal.

Netsutoishi to Kekkon is made of a special stone that possesses an abundance of mass. Even a basketball-shaped amount of the stone weighs 200 pounds, so only Takebachi is able to lift or move it with ease. When Takebachi's body is bonded with the substance, it possesses properties similar to Threshold, nullifying pain in the area it covers. He is able to detach any part of the stone from his body and either rebond with it or form a replacement from nearby earth.

Attack - Maruishiken 丸石 (Boulder Fist)

Requiring 5% reiatsu whenever it's used, Takebachi can construct a massive, 40-foot copy of one appendage. When there is no dry earth around, the new limb must be formed from Netsutoishi to Kekkon's own physical body. However, when there is enough dry earth available, Takebachi may cause the limb to form from it instead. For double the cost, he may also create a second limb.

 

[fallen_one]

resubmitted

Shikai
Ranmin Shuuritsu​

「打ち砕け、乱旻宗律！」
"Uchikudake, Ranmin Shuuritsu!"
"Creed of the Pandemoniac Heavens"​

[Spiritual Manifestation]

Ranmin Shuuritsu

The manifestation looks like a giant black dragon with shimmers of dark purple where the light hits it just right. Spines start at the tip of its tail and work they’re way up to the head where two giant honrs sprout out, curling down beside its mouth. The wings seem to have constant swirls on them that never seem to stop moving. Though it has such a large body, its voice is not booming. It speaks in a very deep human sounding voice. The area the manifestation stays in looks like a castle ruins, the ruins look different everytime Sato see’s them.

[Release Form]​

After the release phrase is given, his entire zanpakutou starts to glow a bright white, and then breaks off into dust. The dust of light rushes towards his arms, and covers his forearms and hands. The light then molds into large metal gauntlets. Over his forearms look like dragon heads with their mouths open and his hands sticking out of them. Over his hands the light molds into slightly longer fingers that end like claws and small spikes over his knuckles. The metal parts that cover his hands are shaped so that he can bawl his hands into a fist.​

[ Ability 1 ]
“Kyuuten Fukumaden”
“Heavens Pandemonium”​

This passive ability increases the force behind his punch upon impact with any object. The increase of force gives the attack more knockback, making the attack harder to parry. If nothing is hit, then the force behind his punch remains the same.

[Ability 2]​

+10% Hakuda​

 

[youngsaso]

Bankai: Tengotono Yaiba Toryuuha
Heavenly Lord's Blade, Edge of the Dragon and Tiger

Form/Ability:

Toryuuha transforms into a triple bladed throwing glaive resembling a massive fan blade with a ten foot diameter. Shoju exercises control over the glaive through the use of his will and wind currents that cause the glaive to spin with extreme speeds. He can also have one of the blades detach from the main body and be used in his hand as a melee weapon while maintaining control over the remaining glaive.

Three Bladed

With one blade removed for dueling.

The uwagi of Shoju's Shihakusho is replaced by an armored Doumaru (samurai's breastplate or cuirass) and Suneate (shin guards) that protect his shins. They have a mixture of green and blue dragon scales trimmed with black thread. Shoju also dons a golden half crown with horns that protrude from the front as well as a white tiger pelt fashioned into a single shouldered cloak, with the head of the tiger resting over his heart.

 

[Isaaru]

revised version [if there's something that should be chaged, please let me know before hand. i'm all eyes for your further advices.)​

SHIKAI​

Name: Tsubaki (Camellia Flower)

Release command: Flourish, Tsubaki!

Spiritual Manifestation:

We could say that Tsubaki is a bad influence on Tristo’s life.

Perfidious and malevolent, the spirit constantly inspires her master to walk through the most sinister alleys of his soul. Often claiming her existence as the truthful avatar of Tristo’s anima, Tsubaki constantly confronts him with her cruel vision of life and doubtful ethics. She is very sadistic about her enemies and even Tristo himself regularly tastes from her bitter temper. Possessive as a jealous wife, Tsubaki holds a dreadful grudge against any woman who gets too close to her jouji. In her worst fits, she tends to refuse to obey the release command, remaining mute for weeks.

The zanpakutou’s spiritual manifestation is rather simplistic and dry, compared to the flowery ornamentation from the weapon’s material aspect. Tsubaki takes the form of a sinister woman, not specially pretty or exuberant, looking rather anaemic and sick.

The spirit’s appearance would be easily portrayed as something close to a scarlet vampire. With extremely pale skin, resembling a porcelain doll; long obsidian black hair, flowing carelessly on an improvised ponytail; ruby eyes sparkle maliciously, with a thin scarlet painting around the eyelids. When she is dressed, Tsubaki uses to wear a modest plain scarlet kimono, without any ornament or luxury accessory. As the only manifestation of any esthetical interest, a grotesque Hanya mask is usually carried by her, however, she was never seen wearing it.

Tsubaki doesn’t manifest on a specific spiritual world. The scenario of her appearances uses to be a random place which Tristo already visited or even the environment where he actually is. However, the spirit’s personal signature lies in the fact that the entire environment is inked on a deep scarlet light, becoming almost monochromatic.

Released Form:

After the release command, the wakizashi glows in a blood red phosphorescence, undulating along Tristo’s hand to gain the shape of a single katar.

Once in the released form, Tsubaki’s most noticeable feature is the fact that it is entirely made on an impeccably glossy crimson metal, leaving a persistent mystery about its nature.

The katar’s double edged blade is about 30 centimetres long, with engraved patterns flowing along its length. The razor sharp cutting edge flows straight from the guard, smoothly converging in a scary pointy edge. Tsubaki’s guard resembles a flower petal, with engraved filigrees on the surface, covering the entire hand and wrist.

Abilities:

[Kyonshira]
vampire thorn

Every time Tristo inflicts a wound with the katar’s blade, he leeches from the opponent an amount equal to 2% his own maximum reiatsu. Kyonshira is only able to leech from a single target an amount equal to 10% Tristo’s maximum reiatsu.

[Benihana]
crimson flower

As consequence from Tsubaki's physical damage, the Benihana, a poisonous crimson camellia, painfully blooms from within the open gash and stays firmly anchored to it. Each Benihana’s root is bounded too deep into the victim’s flesh, veins, nerves and arteries.

The flower smells like rotten flesh and gangrene, being so, uninvited parasites such as flies, roaches, larvae, etc, may be lured into the wound. Also, its petals are very resistant and sharp, not being able to be easily destroyed, like common flowers. Removing the flower would be a painful and invasive manoeuvre of self flagellation. Since the root is infused too deep within the organism, if the blossom is cut off, a second one will bloom in the place of the former, causing the same pain as the sharp petals carve their way out.

Once active, the vampire camellias drain and squirt out the victim’s blood, causing hemorrhage. Along with the bleeding, the bloody flowers infuse their poison into the host’s sanguine system. The toxin gradually inflicts moderate enfeeblement and vision blur, progressing to muscular spasms, and even partial paralyzis, after prolonged exposure to the venom. The venom also contains protein-degrading enzymes that cause progressive tissue necrosis some inches around the flower’s site, withering its regeneration capacity. Being so, when a wound is affected by a Benihana, any healing skill or chiyudo used on it will be less effective.

The higher is the number of anchored flowers, more powerful is the poison’s efficiency and the blood loss. Once there is no active flower, the poison will be gradually dissolved after some minutes, leaving only the injury's sequels.

Firstly, at the basic shikai connection, Tristo is able to summon a total of 5 flowers, gaining an extra one by every 1,000 connection points, with a maximum of 13.

At base, each flower lasts for 3 rounds, enduring an extra round by every 1,000 connection points. Also, they can be simply dismissed by Tristo, or disappear once the zanpakutou is sealed back. Ah, they will also vanish once the host dies…

 

[Khnum]

Resubmit Shikai

Stat Boost Kai: Koutei (Emperor)

Release Command: “Meijiru, Koutei.”

Transformation and form: Holding his hand in prayer and standing straight, Syfir says "Meijiru...". Then his zanpakutou begins to make a sound similar to vibrating steel. The huge blade releases a fume of hot air, giving a mirage-like illusion, and the sheath fuses itself to the zanpakutou as if it melted onto it. Syfir then grabs the blade and swings it overhead. The blade is a jagged, cleaving broadsword that's about one feet longer and one inch thicker than normal. The blade is seemingly clear and crystalline. There are five diagonal engravings on each side of the blade from the bottom to the top that glow either red or blue on both sides to indicate syncs (read Enjin). When the melting stops on Koutei and the hot air dissipates, Syfir finishes by saying, “…Koutei.”

Ability 1: Enjin (Circle): This ability allows Syfir to “Sync” positively (indicated by blue ring around the wrists) or negatively (indicated by red ring around the neck) with up to 5 people within 40 meters. Syfir receives an awareness of the person that he syncs with giving him an intuitive knowledge of their skills and abilities. This awareness can be shared with those that are positively synced. Syfir fails to receive an awareness from those that are twice his current reiatsu, As long as the kai is active, this ability is active.

Ability 2: Sousui (Commander) (Cost 2% reiatsu per turn active, cannot be active during Sakuryaku)

This ability allows for Syfir to boost the abilities of those he is positively synced with and reduce the abilities of those negatively synced. The boost and reduction in ability is equal to 10% of the highest stat within the positively synced people. Syfir cannot use this ability on those who he has not received an awareness of (Double Syfir’s reiatsu). The amount of a boost cannot go over 10% of Syfir’s current connection with a max out at 500. The amount of a reduction cannot go over 5% of Syfir’s current connection with a max out at 500.

Example:

Syfir has highest Zanjutsu & Hakuda. Pos. Sync 1 has highest Hohou & Kidou
Thus all positively synced people (including Syfir), receive a boost to their Zanjutsu and Hakuda, equal to 10% of Syfir’s Zanjutsu and Hakuda stat and a boost to their Hohou & Kidou stat equal to Pos. Sync 1’s Hohou & Kidou stat. All boosts are made as reductions to negatively synced people.


Ability 3: Sakuryaku (Tactic) (cost = 8% of total reiatsu)

This ability allows Syfir to concentrate on a specific stat for an intensified boost or reduction to either himself or a synced person for two turns. The boost/reduction is equal to 20% of the highest stat of any synced person (positive or negative). The indicative aura’s disappear while this ability is active. (Sousui is disabled) The amount of the boost/reduction cannot go over 10% of Syfir’s total reiatsu with a max out at 1,000.

Example:

If Syfir wanted to boost Pos. Sync 1’s Zanjutsu and Neg. Sync 2 has the highest Zanjutsu stat, then Pos. Sync 1’s Zanjutsu stat will be increased by 20% of Neg. Sync 2’s Zanjutsu stat for 2 turns.

 

[louhi]

Week 67
​

will - approved


zeal - clarify & resubmit

with your ability its a bit unclear what's actually happening in this part:

He is able to detach any part of the stone from his body and either rebond with it or form a replacement from nearby earth.

is it just the stone covering that he is replacing, or actual parts of his body? If there's a regen/healing going on it needs to be quantified, as in how much can be healed per round and what it costs.


fallen - approved


saso - this seems incomplete, and more like a shikai than a bankai. You need to include an attack at least. If you want to add more attacks to something that's already approved it will cost a spec point, and I doubt that's what you really want.


isa - approved


khnum - as of ( http://bleachforums.com/showthread.php?t=30269 ) you need to tell us what spec point you're spending in order to resubmit.

aside from that, the kai you submitted is seriously overcomplicated. scale down, use flat numbers instead of things that increase with connection and so forth, and you probably need to cut back on how many different things you can do.

 

[King Zeal]

BANKAI
​

Name

Netsutoishi to Kekkon (Marriage of Heart & Stone)


Release Stage

When Takebachi places Yuukaiishi on the ground and says "Ban Kai" , the gauntlet (or blade if unreleased) quickly begins to grow, expanding its form out of ebony and azure-colored stone until it grows into its much larger manifestation. A fierce duststorm/sandstorm kicks up around Takebachi, but quickly vanishes once the bankai has completely manifested.


Form/Ability

Earth begins to take over Takebachi's body, bonding with his skin, covering him with a thin layer of a blue and black substance like hardened clay and covering of his entire body. These extensions grow sharp talons, the legs look triple-jointed and animalistic, and Takebachi even gains a long serpentine tail. A spiky mane formed from stalagmites covers the back of his neck and much of his chest and shoulders. The rocky extension work in unison to make Takebachi appear like a large, four-legged animal.

Netsutoishi to Kekkon is made of a special stone that possesses an abundance of mass. Even a basketball-shaped amount of the stone weighs 200 pounds, so only Takebachi is able to lift or move it with ease. When Takebachi's body is bonded with the substance, it possesses properties similar to Threshold, nullifying pain in the area it covers. He is able to detach any part of the stone from his body and for 500 reiatsu he can form a replacement from nearby earth. Physical damage to his own body cannot be healed.

Attack - Maruishiken 丸石 (Boulder Fist)

Requiring 5% reiatsu whenever it's used, Takebachi can construct a massive, 40-foot copy of one appendage. When there is no dry earth around, the new limb must be formed from Netsutoishi to Kekkon's own physical body. However, when there is enough dry earth available, Takebachi may cause the limb to form from it instead. For double the cost, he may also create a second limb.

 

[Khnum]

My bad, I always like uber-complicate these.

Resubmit Shikai

Stat Boost Kai: Koutei (Emperor)

Release Command: "Meijiru, Koutei."

Transformation and form: Holding his hand in prayer and standing straight, Syfir says "Meijiru...". Then his zanpakutou begins to make a sound similar to vibrating steel. The huge blade releases a fume of hot air, giving a mirage-like illusion, and the sheath fuses itself to the zanpakutou as if it melted onto it. Syfir then grabs the blade and swings it overhead. The blade is a jagged, cleaving broadsword that's about one feet longer and one inch thicker than normal. The blade is seemingly clear and crystalline. There are five diagonal engravings on each side of the blade from the bottom to the top that glow either red or blue on both sides to indicate syncs (read Enjin). When the melting stops on Koutei and the hot air dissipates, Syfir finishes by saying, "...Koutei."

Ability 1: Enjin (Circle): This ability allows Syfir to "Sync" positively (indicated by blue ring around the wrists) or negatively (indicated by red ring around the neck) with up to 5 people within 40 meters. Syfir receives an awareness of the person that he syncs with giving him an intuitive knowledge of their skills and abilities. This awareness can be shared with those that are positively synced. Syfir fails to receive an awareness from those that are twice his current reiatsu, As long as the kai is active, this ability is active.

Ability 2: Sousui (Commander) (Cost 2% reiatsu per turn active, cannot be active during Sakuryaku)

This ability allows for Syfir to boost the abilities (stats) of those with a positive sync (not including himself) by 5%.

Ability 3: Sakuryaku (Tactic) (cost = 8% of total reiatsu)

This ability allows Syfir to concentrate on a specific stat for an intensified boost or reduction to either himself or a synced person for two turns. The boost/reduction is equal to 20% of the stat chosen (Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Kidou or Hohou).

 

[Lil_Shiro]

Let's hope we can't find anything about boobs in this one, since that's a prob, right?
​

Bankai​

Name: Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki (Royal Storm Raisuki)


Release Stage: When Doreran says the words “Ban Kai”, Raisuki explodes in a radiant show of sparking energy which swiftly spreads into a multitude of lightning-filled clouds that surrounds him and tunnels into the sky, spreading amongst the clouds and causing a storm. Despite the grandeur of the stage, it all happens rather quickly (within ten seconds).


Form/Ability: Raisuki’s blade form disappears into the violent cyclone of voltaic clouds. The funnel cloud rising to the sky merges into the tail of a giant wolf (roughly 82 feet tall) made of a composition of clouds that only Doreran can breathe comfortably. The raging storm tunneling its way to the sky serves as Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki’s tail, truly emphasizing Doreran’s mastery over tumultuous storms. Two constantly sparking surges act as Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki eyes. This storm cloud is being constantly emanating from Doreran’s entire body and persists around him at all times.


Attack 1 - Oozora Piasa (The Sky Piercer): For 500 reiatsu, Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki summons a lightning bolt from her perpetual storm that strikes where Doreran pleases. When the lightning bolt strikes a solid surface, it leaves a replica of Raisuki's shikai form that Doreran may wield. If it strikes an individual directly, the lightning cuts rather than shocks, and the blade disappears moments after the successful strike.
However, the primary purpose of the swords are that they constantly emit a ten-foot electromagnetic field around themselves. The field does nothing on its own, but serves a crucial purpose for Doreran’s others attacks.


Attack- Ten Kyuuden (Imperial Ball Lightning): As the name suggests, this attack is an orb 15 feet in diameter made of pure lightning that envelops Doreran for one turn. Ten Kyuuden consumes 5% of Doreran’s reiatsu and propels Doreran about ten yards in a given direction. However, if one of the swords brought down by the Sky Piercer is in Doreran’s path, he is able to continue Ten Kyuuden, launching it into yet another linear direction upon repeating the cost.

Doreran can perform only one directional change per turn, but can repeat the action per every 2000 Connection he obtains after learning bankai.


Attack- Kumoshimasu (Cloudburst): For 10% of his reiatsu, the blades called down by the Sky Piercer begin to seep out the same cloud of gas which makes up the zanpakutou’s released form. The cloud extends 5 feet from the sword, mixing together if the swords are ten feet or less apart.
At this point, any electrical ability or spell, such as Raigen, will travel through the gas like a circuit, shocking anything caught within. It costs 1% reiatsu each turn to maintain the gas. The cost of any kidou or lightning-based abilties used will remain unchanged.

 

[youngsaso]

Bankai: Tengotono Yaiba Toryuuha
Heavenly Lord’s Blade, Edge of the Dragon and Tiger

Form/Ability:

Toryuuha transforms into a triple bladed throwing glaive resembling a massive fan blade with a twelve foot diameter. Shoju exercises control over the glaive through the use of his will and manifesting wind currents that cause the glaive to spin with extreme speeds. He can also have one of the blades detach from the main body and be used in his hand as a melee weapon while maintaining control over the remaining glaive.

The uwagi of Shoju’s Shihakusho is replaced by an armored Doumaru (samurai’s breastplate or cuirass) and Suneate (shin guards) that protect his shins. They have a mixture of green and blue dragon scales trimmed with black thread. Shoju also dons a golden half crown with horns that protrude from the front as well as a white tiger pelt fashioned into a single shouldered cloak, with the head of the tiger resting over his heart.

Three Bladed

With one blade removed for dueling.

Attack: Dragonstorm

At a cost of 2% of Shoju’s reiatsu, the glaive begins to spin and emit an invisible sphere of reiatsu with a diameter of 30 feet. Within this sphere the air becomes seeks out any number of targets within it and enters into the person’s ear and disorients them causing a decrease in their main combat stat equal to 5% of Shoju’s connection. This effect lasts for 5 rounds.

Attack: Tigerstalk

Tengotono Yaiba Toryuuha envelops itself in reiatsu, this energy allows the glaive to bend the laws of space and travel into a place that exists between dimensions. For a cost of 500 reiatsu and 100 reiatsu for each subsequent round, the glaive can enter this place or “pocket dimension”, that exists in all places simultaneously allowing the glaive to become undetectable (while phasing) through conventional means and seemingly phase in and out of thin air to strike at an unsuspecting opponent.

The glaive can only appear in places that Shoju can see, and can not occupy the same space as another solid object. For example, if there is a 30 by 30 foot thick solid steel cube, the glaive would not be able to phase into the center of it, unless it was hollow and Shoju could somehow see the inside. The glaive can not phase within a 4 foot radius of a large concentration of reiatsu (a person).

Attack: Fierce Deity Crush

With an expenditure of 10% reiatsu, the glaive replicates itself (one replica for every 200 points of reiatsu spent). This Zanjutsu based attack is Shoju’s ace in the whole; the replicas hum with destructive energy and simultaneously attack the target or targets with a great degree of power and accuracy causing massive damage on impact.

 

[louhi]

Week 68

zeal - approved

but change the 500 rei cost to 2%. you dont need to resubmit or anything.
​

khnum - resub

remember, you need to specifically say what spec point you're usin for this and state it in your submission post. But I assume its the one from summer PMs

1st ability: you cant get info of other people's abilities that easily. learning all of it instantly is crazy. take a look at will's bankai, for example.

2 & 3 the costs are too high and the boosts are way too high. remember, this is a three ability kai. things are gonna be small, numberwise​

shiro - resub

hey what is this saucy sassiness??

form/ability: needs a better description of how this actually works - how much area it covers, what kind of things the gas wolf is capable of, whether doreran can control it directly, etc. its just really hard to tell what you mean from the description as-is.

the attacks are fine.​

saso - resub (one last time ><)

form/ability: fine

attack 1: does the debuff stack if its used multiple times? important to know

attack 2: its fien

attack 3: correction, ace in the whole ---> ace in the hole​

 

[Lil_Shiro]

Bankai​

Name: Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki (Royal Storm Raisuki)


Release Stage: When Doreran says the words “Ban Kai”, Raisuki explodes in a radiant show of sparking energy which swiftly spreads into a multitude of lightning-filled clouds that surrounds him and tunnels into the sky, spreading amongst the clouds and causing a storm. Despite the grandeur of the stage, it all happens rather quickly (within ten seconds).


Form/Ability: Raisuki’s blade form disappears into the violent cyclone of voltaic clouds. The funnel cloud rising to the sky merges into the tail of a giant wolf (roughly 82 feet tall) made of a composition of clouds that only Doreran can breathe comfortably. The raging storm is 35 feet in width and 50 feet in height, and the funnel to the sky serves as Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki’s tail, truly emphasizing Doreran’s mastery over tumultuous storms. Two constantly sparking surges act as Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki eyes. This storm cloud is being constantly emanating from Doreran’s entire body and persists around him at all times. Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki form, if studied long enough, looks like an ill-defined depiction of a giant wolf with two large cone shapes that acts as the ears and follows the two sparks serving as the bankai's eyes.

The wolf moves only when Doreran's own body moves; he cannot command it to attack, nor can it move independently. If Doreran throws a punch or sword slash, the wolf's front paw will extend from his fist or blade about a foot, surrounding Doreran's attack, but doing no damage in and of itself. When Doreran walks, the wolf will glide along with him. The wolf does nothing on its own, save for standing still.

Attack 1 - Oozora Piasa (The Sky Piercer): For 500 reiatsu, Ouritsu Arashi Raisuki summons a lightning bolt from her perpetual storm that strikes where Doreran pleases. When the lightning bolt strikes a solid surface, it leaves a replica of Raisuki's shikai form that Doreran may wield. If it strikes an individual directly, the lightning cuts rather than shocks, and the blade disappears moments after the successful strike.
However, the primary purpose of the swords are that they constantly emit a ten-foot electromagnetic field around themselves. The field does nothing on its own, but serves a crucial purpose for Doreran’s others attacks.


Attack- Ten Kyuuden (Imperial Ball Lightning): As the name suggests, this attack is an orb 15 feet in diameter made of pure lightning that envelops Doreran for one turn. Ten Kyuuden consumes 5% of Doreran’s reiatsu and propels Doreran about ten yards in a given direction. However, if one of the swords brought down by the Sky Piercer is in Doreran’s path, he is able to continue Ten Kyuuden, launching it into yet another linear direction upon repeating the cost.

Doreran can perform only one directional change per turn, but can repeat the action per every 2000 Connection he obtains after learning bankai.


Attack- Kumoshimasu (Cloudburst): For 10% of his reiatsu, the blades called down by the Sky Piercer begin to seep out the same cloud of gas which makes up the zanpakutou’s released form. The cloud extends 5 feet from the sword, mixing together if the swords are ten feet or less apart.
At this point, any electrical ability or spell, such as Raigen, will travel through the gas like a circuit, shocking anything caught within. It costs 1% reiatsu each turn to maintain the gas. The cost of any kidou or lightning-based abilties used will remain unchanged.

 

[youngsaso]

Resubmission

Bankai: Tengotono Yaiba Toryuuha
Heavenly Lord’s Blade, Edge of the Dragon and Tiger

Form/Ability:

Toryuuha transforms into a triple bladed throwing glaive resembling a massive fan blade with a twelve foot diameter. Shoju exercises control over the glaive through the use of his will and manifesting wind currents that cause the glaive to spin with extreme speeds. He can also have one of the blades detach from the main body and be used in his hand as a melee weapon while maintaining control over the remaining glaive.

The uwagi of Shoju’s Shihakusho is replaced by an armored Doumaru (samurai’s breastplate or cuirass) and Suneate (shin guards) that protect his shins. They have a mixture of green and blue dragon scales trimmed with black thread. Shoju also dons a golden half crown with horns that protrude from the front as well as a white tiger pelt fashioned into a single shouldered cloak, with the head of the tiger resting over his heart.

Three Bladed

With one blade removed for dueling.

Attack: Dragonstorm

At a cost of 2% of Shoju’s reiatsu, the glaive begins to spin and emit an invisible sphere of reiatsu with a diameter of 30 feet. Within this sphere the air seeks out any number of targets within it and enters into the target’s ear and disorients them causing a decrease in their main combat stat equal to 5% of Shoju’s connection. This effect lasts for 5 rounds and stacks with every successful use, maxing out after 3 hits or 15% of Shoju's connection.

Attack: Tigerstalk

Tengotono Yaiba Toryuuha envelops itself in reiatsu, this energy allows the glaive to bend the laws of space and travel into a place that exists between dimensions. For a cost of 500 reiatsu and 100 reiatsu for each subsequent round, the glaive can enter this place or “pocket dimension”, that exists in all places simultaneously allowing the glaive to become undetectable (while phasing) through conventional means and seemingly phase in and out of thin air to strike at an unsuspecting opponent.

The glaive can only appear in places that Shoju can see, and can not occupy the same space as another solid object. For example, if there is a 30 by 30 foot thick solid steel cube, the glaive would not be able to phase into the center of it, unless it was hollow and Shoju could somehow see the inside. The glaive can not phase within a 4 foot radius of a large concentration of reiatsu (a person).

Attack: Fierce Deity Crush

With an expenditure of 10% reiatsu, the glaive replicates itself (one replica for every 200 points of reiatsu spent). This Zanjutsu based attack is Shoju’s ace in the hole; the replicas hum with destructive energy and simultaneously attack the target or targets with a great degree of power and accuracy causing massive damage on impact.

 

[Khnum]

Backup plan A. (I got 3 more o' these) Yes, this is resub from Summer PM's.

Resubmit Shikai

Stat Boost Kai: Koutei (Emperor)

Release Command: “Meijiru, Koutei.”

Transformation and form: Holding his hand in prayer and standing straight, Syfir says "Meijiru...". Then his zanpakutou begins to make a sound similar to vibrating steel. The huge blade releases a fume of hot air, giving a mirage-like illusion, and the sheath fuses itself to the zanpakutou as if it melted onto it. Syfir then grabs the blade and swings it overhead. The blade is a jagged, cleaving broadsword that's about one feet longer and one inch thicker than normal. The blade is seemingly clear and crystalline. There are five diagonal engravings on each side of the blade from the bottom to the top that glow either red or blue on both sides to indicate syncs (read Enjin). When the melting stops on Koutei and the hot air dissipates, Syfir finishes by saying, “…Koutei.”

Ability 1: Enjin (Circle): This ability allows Syfir to “Sync” positively (indicated by blue ring around the wrists) or negatively (indicated by red ring around the neck) with up to 5 people within 40 meters. Syfir can open a two-way communication link between himself and a synced person; the link is limited to one person at a time. Always active.

Ability 2: Sousui (Commander) (Cost 2% reiatsu per turn active, cannot be active during Sakuryaku)

This ability allows for Syfir to boost the abilities (stats) of those with a positive sync (not including himself) by 3%.

Ability 3: Sakuryaku (Tactic) (cost = 5% of total reiatsu)

This ability allows Syfir to place a target on a negatively synced person. Those positively synced will be able to see the target visually in the form of a red glowing beacon. The target will have their stats reduced by 3% for two turns.

 

[Lady Stumble]

Resubmission

slot: here

m(_ _)m

I know I'm horrible and that you kai staff have already too much on your plate so I'm truly sorry for adding to your load

Changes: Changed the form to be hak based, thus fitting in more with Okaeshin. Changed the second ability >.<;;; (sooorry).

Also, I included the form as another ability. Either this is unnecessary, or the form has too many abilities in itself and needs to be less.

Everything that I redid made it kinda too powerful again. Grrr. But tell me what needs to be changed and I'll tone it from there.

Thanks ahead of time n.n''

Command:“Sing with Abandon, Heart's Morning Star” ["Utaimakuru, Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi"]

Spirit Manifestation
A large female wolf with white wings, Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi has a myriad of violet tribal markings covering her white fur. She has thick fur at her legs, saber fangs, and eyes the same color as Okaeshin’s.

To her, Okaeshin is just a grown up baby sister, one who she can be immensely proud of. Kokoro cares about her deeply, but is not above teasing her relentlessly whenever the opportunity arises. Equally as playful, but a lot more sensible, and incredibly fierce in battle, she complements her wielder’s youthful passion with her wisdom, but gets easily frustrated when her advice is not heeded.

Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi

Released Form
When Okaeshin strikes her sealed zanpakutou vertically in the ground, the impact sets a vibration (similar to a tuning fork), and as she speaks the release command, the blade flows back around Okaeshin's hands, turning into incredibly thin strands of silk-like steel. The steel strands wrap around her hands, forming into wrist and hand wraps the same color as the unreleased uchigatana's blade. The strands finish loosely, forming a long ribbon on each end of the wrap, flowing continuously around Okaeshin's forearms over waves of sound. Every now and then, streaks of deeper violet lance through the wraps in tribal shapes.

Ability: form
The individual strands in the wrap are sharp and as they vibrate, they cut deeper than a typical punch would. With the sound waves Okaeshin has flowing around her hands, she can form four claws which extend over her fist, invisible save for a slight ripple in the air. In addition, when utilized in an attack, the ribbons gain a hard edge of sharp amethyst-like stone which vibrate, creating a lighter clearer song along with the rest of the resonating strands.

Ability: Kyuomei no Kinsen (Resonating Heartstrings) wolf howl
Strengthening the hum of the steel strands by singing softly and dancing, taking strength from her zanpakutou spirit's howl, Okaeshin can reverberate objects, and in receiving the disturbance of the air in return, she can map out the affected area in a 50 feet radius, including anything or any person within it. At first, she is only able to pierce one layer and for one turn before losing her control, be it through floor or wall with a thickness of 3 feet. Every 500 connection, she can penetrate another layer and gain a turn of control along with a 10 foot radius increase over her target area. Subtle and efficient, this ability is difficult to detect unless those in the affected area have reiatsu 1.5 times that of Okaeshin’s.

Each turn costs 100 reiatsu

The hum and song are audible to those within a 20 feet radius of Okaeshin, and cannot be heard through a wall. The steady sound is punctuating by a rhythm of beats, but it seems to weave in and out of itself, giving it the musical quality of a canon. Useful for mapping enemy territory and for search and rescue.

Attack: Baion Atsureki (Harmonic Discord) wolf bite
When the vibrating strands bite into an opponent’s flesh, the song which is released into the body is layered with intense emotions and thoughts. At each strike, the song delves deeper, threading itself into the very essence of the person and impressing these into their mind. Thus for every turn the opponent falls under sway, whether deeply affected or only barely perceiving, 3% of Okaeshin’s hakuda stat is “stolen” from the opponent’s highest stat and added to her hakuda stat.

At the start, Okaeshin is only able to impress this attack for 1 turn per battle, though it increases an additional turn for every 500 connection she gains.

The constant impact of emotion is draining, thus it costs 3% reiatsu for every turn it’s used and can only be used for a limit of 10 turns.

The song itself is laced with the emotions and thoughts the ability ingrains into the opponent and it's volume can be controlled by Okaeshin to an extent of a 20 feet radius.

Note: The reaction of every opponent under the influence of this ability is different in both power and effect. Factors which affect the this ability include Okaeshin’s own depth of emotion at the time and the way the opponent usually deals with such emotions and thoughts. It’s very open to interpretation and will depends mainly on common sense.

 

[Dirtjumper]

link here

so umm yeah sry for the trouble (yay another load for the kai staff), but the damage chart had to go since it was stupid... So this is a resub for the first ability of my shikai. let me know what i need to fix. kthx

link to original

shikai

[Ability 1]
Shuu Kaminari (Lightning Strike):

At the cost of 5% reiatsu, Spike can fire a concentrated bolt of electricity from each tip of Raikotsuken at his opponents. Much like natural lightning, this bolt travels very fast, making it harder to dodge. Also, due to the friction caused by the electricity traveling so quickly, the air is superheated and has been known to sometimes cause minor to severe burns on the victim. The results from the attack vary from a small electric shock to complete blackouts against severely weaker opponents.

 

[louhi]

Shiro - sorry, there is still some confusion with the form. you give one set of numbers, but then add that it's 82 feet into the sky as well. since it's presumably all made out of that gas no one but you can breathe, is it an unbroken area around you or is there space in between the wolves feet or whatever that a person can breathe or are ppl goin to choke just getting near you at all? The description is just tricky i guess, it's hard to tell what you mean. moot was just baffled alltogether, and i thought it might be something like this: http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/6379/88814597wr6.jpg

Saso - approved

Num - changes

the buffs and debuffs need to be valued from your own stats, not from the stats of the person you're using it on

sing - i think you edited this again after me and moot looked at it and he's in hokkaido now so uhh... i guess you wait til next week so we can re-do the reviewing

dirt - approved