Release Submission Thread

[Beaks]

FOR PONY!

Bankai-Tenkei Yorozu No Shiraha (Heaven's Wrath of Ten Thousand White Feathers)​

Appearance: After invoking Bankai, Tsubaki quickly sheathes her weapon. As she withdraws the weapon from its sheath once again, Shiraha has taken on an entirely different appearance, as well as the Shinigami that wields it. After the transformation completes, Tsubaki is clad head to toe in a white Shihakushou. Her normal katana has been replaced by a seven-branched-sword roughly five feet in length, devoid of any color save for white. The scouring aura normally contained with Shiraha swirls around the newly released blade in wisps of energy.

Ability: Suishoku (Fading Color) An evolved form of Shikisaicho Setsu, Tenkei Yoruzu No Shiraha's ability encompasses a 30m radius around Tsubaki and her foe. This ability once again reduces all matter within the area of effect to black and white. Any other individuals caught in the radius will be forcibly ejected, and will not be able to interact with either individual inside the effect until it is dispelled. This ability costs 5% of Tsubaki's reiatsu.

Attack: Heimaku (Falling Curtain) Once a foe sets foot within Suishoku every aspect of their body and soul is permeated by the abilities of Tsubaki's weapon. After extensive training with Shiraha, Tsubaki has learned to obliterate not just enemies, but the distractions and obstructions in one's mind that detract from the fight itself. By expending 2% of her Reiatsu for every strike, Heimaku wipes away one memory or personality aspect of her foe. This ability is limited to memories and personality, and cannot wipe away fundamentals such as one's name or allegiance. The loss of these traits is temporary and restricted by Suishoku's radius. Any foe who either dispells or otherwise nullifies Suishoku has all of the erased memories returned at a rate of three (memories or traits) per round.

Attack: Nagurikorosu (To Strike Dead) Tsubaki's final strike costs 15% of her total reiatsu, and consists of a frighteningly fast downward blow. In addition, any erased memories or quirks are violently thrust back into the mind of Tsubaki's foe, doing an additional 2% damage each per successful strike from Heimaku. On a downside, after this attack lands Tsubaki is totally open to counterattack, demanding that this technique only be used when all other means fail. Nagurikorosu is only usable after a bare minimum of three strikes from Heimaku, and due to the straining energies involved may only be used once per battle.

 

[Fallen_Angel]

Release Level: Shikai
Name: Shiruba
Release phrase: Scratch and Scar

Manifestation: Shiruba is named after the colour of her fur, silver. She shines brightly in the mind of Tenchuu, giving him her warmth and strength. Her golden-yellow eyes give no emotion, but convey the same beauty as her coat, which shines brightly in the sun of Tenchuu's inner world.

Shiruba

Release form: Tenchuu has a black glove on each hand, with black ribbons going up his arms over his sleeves. There is a weapon on each glove: on the left hand metal tendrils (each 15 inches long) become attached to Tenchuu's fingers; and on the right hand there are three blades (each 10 inches long) that are attached to his knuckles. On the end of the middle blade is a small hole, used for the 'Silver Bolt' ability.

Shikai

Forgive the poor splicing

Ability: Silver Bolt
The hole in Tenchuu's right-hand middle blade can fire a silver bolt of Kidou. This hole is small, so the energy is compressed and concentrated into a long, straight beam, hence the name. Damage done is parallel to the Kidou used.
Cost: 10% Kidou theshold / 2% Reiatsu per shot
Weakness: This technique requires precision aim to use effectively, which in the heat of battle is difficult even for expert hakuda-users.

Ability: Silver Claws
Kidou flows into the tendrils on Tenchuu's left-hand fingers and they glow silver, hence the name. They become white hot and able to burn through many types of material. As a result the damage dealt to the opponent with every successful attack is now 2% of Tenchuu's Kidou level. This can be used a maximum of 5 turns.
Cost: Tenchuu spends 5% of his remaining Kidou and Reiatsu per turn it is used.
Weakness: Tenchuu is not an expert Hakuda user, and so this ability is to be used in dire close combat situations as a back up. To use effectively he will need to train more.

 

[blademaster3090]

2nd Submission..changed an ability, and spruced up kai with a few details.

SHIKAI : GARUDA

Release Phrase : Soar, Garuda.

Release Action: While speaking the release phrase, Haaji casually swipes his sword to the right. Once spoken, golden feathers can be seen momentarily, shining on Haaji's arm.

Form : The zanpakutou remains mostly the same, except the hilt turns golden in color, and the white blade turns to a shiny metallic color.

Spirit : Garuda is a large golden eagle, heavily inspired by the Hindu mythological creature of the same name. Garuda is slightly more arrogant than even Haaji, many times interjecting Haaji's thoughts to give his opinion, which he always thinks is right. Light bickering frequently erupts between the two.

Abilities :

1.) Paarvai : By paying 50 Reiatsu per turn, Haaji can use the eye of his far-seeing Zanpakutou, to zoom into locations upto a mile away.

2.) Navuru : By paying an additional cost of 15% of the kidou cost of the spell he casts, Haaji can steer any projectile kidou he casts at an opponent. Spells such as Kireha would be unaffected though. Haaji can let the spell travel over long distances, by paying an extra 5% of the kidou spell he chanted.

 

[Tintenpatronen]

Shikai – Hachuutsuki Yamada, 4th

Please note

That I realise this will probably be crazily overpowered. I really just wanted to get a base set up. I'll be more than happy to make any changes suggested (really wasn't sure if I was able to have the toxin ability spread etc. and was unsure of costs. Just to say, though, that necrosis and muscle tissue death is a common effect of snake bites, especially in vipers. Also, I might change the name to Enperesu. Is there any guidelines on spirit names?

Name: Kougouheika (Her Majesty the Empress)

Release Command: Hiss, Kougouheika!

Form: Upon the release command, Hachuutsuki’s blade elongates, whilst the handle also grows and twists up and around the blade, forming into the shape of a snake. At the same time, the coiled snake of the tsuruba unwinds itself and twists around the blade, the hilt and tsuruba forming a double helix around the elongated blade, which has now become a gently tapering, silver rod. Finally, a pair of silver wings sprout from the top of the weapon, transforming her sword into a Caduceus. The snakes are both a deep emerald, with the hilt snake possessing red eyes, and the tsuruba snake possessing clear eyes.

reference

Manifestation: Kougouheika takes the form of a spectacularly beautiful woman, clad in the finest jewels and kimono. She has emerald hair which falls to her knees, and yellow eyes, with slit pupils. Around her neck is a green snake, seemingly made of living metal, with one red eye and one colourless. At times she holds a cup in each hand, but what is inside is unknown.

Attack: Jadoku (snake toxin)
By paying 100 reiatsu per use, Hachuutsuki can order the red-eyed snake to lash out and bite her intended victim. This can be executed from close range by the snake simply biting, or with the snake uncoiling from the caduceus. Its maximum range is 2 feet. The venom kills cells, causing a gangrenous, necrotic wound. The wound is ten centimetres squared at first, but if left untreated will spread, causing muscle tissue to die throughout the area infected, for example if bitten on the finger, the necrosis would spread throughout the hand. The spreading occurs at a rate of two centimetres per five turns, increasing by another two every 1000 connection.

Ability: Dokukeshi (antidote)
By paying 100 reiatsu per use, Hachuutsuki can order the clear-eyed snake to bite her intended patient and inject an antidote into a person’s body. The antidote halts bodily functions in said bitten area, within an area of one square foot. This would, for example, stop exotic bodies and toxins in their tracks, stop bleeding and any fractures from worsening. The total suspension of functions can only be sustained for half an hour at first. This time increases by fifteen minutes every 1000 connection.

Hachuutsuki uses the caduceus like a club, with the wings possessing an edge as sharp as any sword.

 

[Kaelos]

Release Stage: Shikai

Name: Belle Corinne (lit. Beautiful Maiden)

Release Command: Pierce with beauty and chivalry, Belle Corinne!!

Manifestation: The spirit takes a form of a gorgeous Frenchwoman. She has a slender build as well as a look of flawlessness about her. She wears a blue dress with white trimmings that adorns on there. She has blond hair that nearly goes all the way down to the floor. Her silver eyes are pure, which can piece anybody’s soul. The inner world of is of a grass field on the countryside with a small castle showing in the background.

Belle Corinne has a calm and gracious demeanor. She deeply cares for Amanda as if she’s a big sister to her. Often times the woman loves teasing the American shinigami and tries to teach her gracefulness as a swordswoman and humility as a person. There would be times where she chastises Amanda for being sometimes anti-social and/or shy to others. The zanpakutou spirit wants nothing but the best for her owner as a shinigami and as a person in general.

Belle Corinne

Form: When speaking the command phrase, Amanda holds her uchigatana in front of her face. It starts to radiate a white color until it changes into a rapier. The released form is a European weapon that weighs around three and a half pounds and has a relatively long and slender blade. Its size is one inch in width and 40 inches in length with the ending of blade having a sharp pointed tip. The color of the pommel and handle are red; the hilt will have blackish color.

Ability:
(Piqûre) Puncture
At the expenditure of 5% reiatsu, Amanda has the ability to hurl rapiers made from spiritual energy towards her target. At first only three can be summoned, though as the connection stat increases more can be summoned, namely one more rapier for every 1000 connection, up to a total of 10.

 

[louhi]

Hase - approved

Beaks - approved with changes:

Add a cap to nagurikorosu so that while the attack is usable after thee hits, the extra damage can only be applied for 5 hits, capping at 25%.


crissae - initial discovery is something you only use one time, in your writing, and doesn't need to be submitted. If this is supposed to be your first stage, you need to call it that D:



Fallen - just need some fine tuning

silver bolt: change the cost in kidou threshold to a flat number, in order to avoid over complicating. The rest of the attack is fine.

ability: the idea is fine but the numbers dont work. if you want a damage amp then write it as such, otherwaise leave the damage amp off and have just the heat effect and lower the cost a bit. Since you are paying kidou it would probably measure your ability to cut through barriers and stuff



Blade - some fine tuning for you too.

Paarvai: fine

navuru: this should really be split into two abilities. one that steers, and one that adds range. Raise the cost of the steering ability to double the cost of the kidou. The cost for range should give you a range of 1 mile, at an added cost of 50% of the cost of the kidou.


ditto: prefacing your kai with a statement that its overpowered probly isn't the best idea, haha. also avoid using katakana english - enperesu isn't a real translation :<

you should not have a concrete cost with an increase in effectiveness with con. overall the costs just arent working, and the scale up with power is just too much.


bliss - approved (the power of simplicity means approved on the first try. woo)
ps your kai manifestation is like totally Maria LaSalle 8D

 

[blademaster3090]

3rd sub


SHIKAI : GARUDA

Release Phrase : Soar, Garuda.

Release Action: While speaking the release phrase, Haaji casually swipes his sword to the right. Once spoken, golden feathers can be seen momentarily, shining on Haaji's arm.

Form : The zanpakutou remains mostly the same, except the hilt turns golden in color, and the white blade turns to a shiny metallic color.

Spirit : Garuda is a large golden eagle, heavily inspired by the Hindu mythological creature of the same name. Garuda is slightly more arrogant than even Haaji, many times interjecting Haaji's thoughts to give his opinion, which he always thinks is right. Light bickering frequently erupts between the two.

Abilities :

1.) Paarvai : By paying 50 Reiatsu per turn, Haaji can use the eye of his far-seeing Zanpakutou, to zoom into locations upto a mile away.

2.) Navuru : By paying an additional cost of 2x the kidou cost of the spell, Haaji can steer any projectile kidou he casts at an opponent. Spells such as Kireha would be unaffected though.

3.) Sipahi : Haaji can let the spell travel over long distances, by paying an extra 50% of the kidou spell he chanted per mile it travels. The effectiveness and speed of the kidou will be the same throughout the journey.

 

[Tintenpatronen]

Had a little revision of my abilities. Dunno if the first is still too powerful, I changed the spreading thing


Shikai – Hachuutsuki Yamada, 4th

Name: Kougouheika (Her Majesty the Empress)

Release Command: Hiss, Kougouheika!

Form: Upon the release command, Hachuutsuki’s blade elongates, whilst the handle also grows and twists up and around the blade, forming into the shape of a snake. At the same time, the coiled snake of the tsuruba unwinds itself and twists around the blade, the hilt and tsuruba forming a double helix around the elongated blade, which has now become a gently tapering, silver rod. Finally, a pair of silver wings sprout from the top of the weapon, transforming her sword into a Caduceus. The snakes are both a deep emerald, with the hilt snake possessing red eyes, and the tsuruba snake possessing clear eyes. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Caduceus.svg/299px-Caduceus.svg.png

Manifestation: Kougouheika takes the form of a spectacularly beautiful woman, clad in the finest jewels and kimono. She has emerald hair which falls to her knees, and yellow eyes, with slit pupils. Around her neck is a green snake, seemingly made of living metal, with one red eye and one colourless. At times she holds a cup in each hand, but what is inside is unknown.

Attack: Jadoku (snake toxin)
By paying between 2 and 5% reiatsu per use, Hachuutsuki can order the red-eyed snake to lash out and bite her intended victim. This can be executed from close range by the snake simply biting, or with the snake uncoiling from the caduceus. Its maximum range is 2 feet. The venom causes severe coagulopathy, ceasing blood's ability to clot. Therefore, minor wounds bleed profusely and even gentle hits can cause bruising and bleeding. The level of bleeding increases with reiatsu paid. A 2% bite will cause less severe coagulopathy than a 5% bite, as in wounds would bleed only slightly more than usual and bruises would occur normally. A 5% bite would have all the effects listed above (profuse bleeding etc.)

Ability: Dokukeshi (antidote)
By paying 5% of her reiatsu per fifteen minutes of use, Hachuutsuki can order the clear-eyed snake to bite her intended patient and painlessly inject an antidote into a person’s body. The antidote halts bodily functions in said bitten area, within an area of one square foot. This would, for example, stop exotic bodies and toxins in their tracks, stop bleeding and any fractures from worsening. The total suspension of functions can only be sustained for half an hour at first, however this time increases by fifteen minutes every 1000 connection.

 

[//Ulquiorra\\]

Shikai

Name:
Tsurugi Kujiku
(Sword Breaker)

Release Phrase:
Tear them asunder!
四分五裂

Form:
Tsurugi Kujiku takes the form of a massive war hammer.
The hammer is a slower weapon that requires a massive amount of strength to use.

Description:
The head of the hammer is a large, rectangular shaped block. The handle of the hammer is the length of a man’s outstretched man. The black ribbon that was tied to the hilt of the Zanpakutou becomes wrapped around the handle of the Hammer.

Abilities:

[Ability One] Shibugoretsu “Disruption”:
Cost: 3% Reiatsu
Hiro forces Reiatsu into the hammer head and delivers a powerful swing to the ground. The impact sends out a spherical shockwave of Reiatsu that does massive damage to anything caught under the hammer. As the shockwave moves out ward the damage decreases to only a minor earthquake, simply stunning anything in its radius. The shockwave also carries upwards into the air, but is not as effective. The attack itself is slow and easy to dodge; however, the shockwave is harder to avoid.

The shockwave starts at 4 meters and gains an additional 2 meters for each 1k connection to a max of 12 meters, in the air at it begins at 2 meters and gains 1 meter for each 1k until a max of 6 is reached.

If Hiro's hammer comes into direct contact with an enemies zanpakutou, the enemies zanpakutou cannot be released for 2 turns after.

[Ability Two] Kousotsu “Armored Warrior”:
Immediately upon release Hiro sacrifices 50% of his Hohou stat, 25% of that is put into a damage reduction stock. This ability allows Hiro to lessen the amount of the damage he will receive. This ability is active as long as the stock is not depleted. Once the stock depletes Hiro's Hohou stat is increased by 25% and his damage received thereafter is normal damage​

A Special Thanks To...

Code of the Noble, for helping me through all the math and names. Without him, this Zan would still be suffering from poor names and underpowered attacks.

 

[Hao]

Thanks to Mak for the translating! Also, thanks to Shin and person-who-does-not-wish-to-be-named for looking it over : )

Shikai - Niklas Kierkegaard

Name: Kyouton Gugen (lit. Madness Incarnate)

Release Phrase: Sekai no Koto wo Wasurero! (lit. Forget the World!, which is the true command. Niklas says, "Fuck the World!")

Manifestation: Kyouton Gugen takes the form of a shiny silver sphere that can imitate the form of the face of anyone Niklas has ever encountered. When it speaks in its sphere form, it gives off a warm, ambient light. Despite this somewhat docile appearance, Kyouton Gugen is one of the most annoying Zanpakutous in Soul Society.

The realm that Kyouton Gugen inhabits can be just about anything it wants, but typically, it takes the form of an infinite abyss with a grand piano sitting in the "center".

Form/Ability:
Kyouton Gugen takes the form of dual katars. Around each of Niklas' wrists and near each of his elbows are shackles that are bound together by steel rods to keep his katars in place. Within 10 feet, Niklas can shift the opponent's perception of the blades, making them appear to be longer or larger. However, within Kyouton Gugen's range, these "illusions" are very much the reality. Any wounds experienced from Kyouton Gugen's illusory blades remain even after getting out of its range.

Ability: Bizarro World One Point Oh
At the cost of 6% of his maximum Reiatsu, Niklas can inflict his opponent's mind with extreme madness just by making eye contact after this command. While in this state, Kyouton Gugen causes the recipient to experience opposite actions than what they intend. For example, if one were to swing or run left, they would do so, only in the opposite direction--right. Because of the necessary adjustments that need to be made, opponents suffer a decrease of 10% to Zanjutsu, Hakuda, and Hohou in relation to Niklas Reiatsu stat. Kidou is effected in a different way. Any Kidou spell cast will automatically cast a spell that is an opposite. For example, an opponent who intends to cast a Hadou spell will instead cast a Bakudou of equal strength.

Bizarro World One Point Oh lasts for three turns on people who have a Reiatsu stat that is similar to Niklas', while lasting only one turn on those who have a Reiatsu stat that is significantly higher.

 

[Redfin]

-Only third attack changed

Bankai

Name: Houshuku no Youki Matsuri ( 奉祝の妖気) Ghostly Festival of the Great Celebration

Form
The bankai has no form in itself. The zanpakutou will remain the same as always. But anything attached to it will disappear, leaving only the sword and sheath. The parts described below only appear when used.

Ability Form – The form of the ability is a white, glowing ring two meters in diameter. The ring is intangible to the touch by physical or energy means.

Ghostly Arm Form – The arm appears as a slender, human sized one with grey to dark blue skin color. The hand at the end is neither a left hand nor a right hand however but a symmetrical one where a second thumb replaces the pinky. At the end of each finger is a sharp, black nail. In the palm is a mouth filled with sharp teeth. The mouth can be used to speak.

Vengeful Spirit Form – The spirit is a tiny figure around the size of a hand. The top half of the body looks humanoid but the bottom half trails away at the torso into nothingness. It is completely black and had no facial features other than a mouth.


Ability: This was used to kill people in seven days
This can be toggled on and off but cannot be targeted. When it is on, the glowing ring will appear at Hotate's feet, though she can move it around at will.

While active, Hotate sends out a disruption field 50 meters in diameter that makes it harder to gather and control energy. What this means is that for races with the applicable stats, all reiatsu costs are doubled, the shuuhaku pool is cut in half, emptiness costs are doubled. Rage costs are unaffected. The power of the attack is unaffected as well.

Anyone standing inside the ring is protected from the effects and if Hotate is standing inside, the entire bankai is protected as well.


Attack 1: This was used to clean the room
Hotate can summons up to 20 ghostly arms at any point within 25 meters of herself with the cost of 100 reiatsu per arm. The arm cannot move from its origin but can turn around in a spherical manner. They have similar arm strength to Hotate and she can control them like extra limbs. These arms are strong against physical attacks but weak to energy attacks.

These last until destroyed or the bankai ends.

Attack 2: This was used for special effects
By draining reiatsu from Hotate, the arms can cast all techs, feats, release skills and kidou that she knows at the same strength she would use them. The only limitation is if said ability needs something such as eyes or legs.

Attack 3: This was used when feeling lonely
By paying between 2% to 5% of her reiatsu, Hotate can launch a vengeful spirit out of one of the mouths under her control. She can control the movements of the spirit but doing so means she and the hands can't use other attacks during that time. If not controlled, the spirit will merely fly in a straight line.

If the spirit hits a person, it will haunt them and hover behind their shoulder. As long as the spirit is attached, it will seal of the target's ability to use shunpo or similar techniques. The spirit can't be attacked but spending reiatsu will cause it to loosen its grip. An amount equal to the cost must be spent to remove the spirit, or twice that if the target is under the effects of the bankai's Ability.

Multiple spirits can exist at one time. But haunting the same person repeatedly doesn't help as spending reiatsu affects all spirits on that person equally.

The vengeful spirit lasts until cast off or the bankai ends.

 

[louhi]

blad - approved w/ change:

the max range for sipahi shld be one mile only.


ditto -

attack: pick a cost and one cost only. probably 5%. you may want to add a turn limit as well.

the ability is almost identical to hiren's ability (divine safeguard)


ulq -

form: need a better description of the size... "The handle of the hammer is the length of a man’s outstretched man." ..... what? that sounds naughty

if it's really really huge you might need an ability just to be able to use it

ability one: this is two abilities. shockwave and sealing has nothing to do with each other.

ability two: this is really confusing and i dont know what you mean by 'damage reduction stock'. there are limits for boosts as well (check the shinigami tech and kai thread and read it! also read the release faq!!)


Hao -

the idea of weapon stretching kind of works, but the way you have written it it seems like an autohit for anything within ten feet.

bizzaro world: a status effect and a stat debuff and it screws up kidou and its pretty much auto hit... this doesnt really work.


Criss -

this is kind of a weird release in that you basically are summoning a crappy, easily breakable zanpakutou with no real abilities. if you want something that works as a shield, you should also look into shield mechanics in the release FAQ. in order to get a shield, you need to payyyyyyy and how strong it is depends on how much you payyyyyyyyyyyyy


Finny - approved

 

[Hao]

Changed both... hopefully the first one makes more sense? And changed the second one a lot, I think... got rid of the debuff portion and figured I'd just let the other guy play from there...

Shikai - Niklas Kierkegaard

Name: Kyouton Gugen (lit. Madness Incarnate)

Release Phrase: Sekai no Koto wo Wasurero! (lit. Forget the World!, which is the true command. Niklas says, "Fuck the World!")

Manifestation: Kyouton Gugen takes the form of a shiny silver sphere that can imitate the form of the face of anyone Niklas has ever encountered. When it speaks in its sphere form, it gives off a warm, ambient light. Despite this somewhat docile appearance, Kyouton Gugen is one of the most annoying Zanpakutous in Soul Society.

The realm that Kyouton Gugen inhabits can be just about anything it wants, but typically, it takes the form of an infinite abyss with a grand piano sitting in the "center".

Form/Ability:
Kyouton Gugen takes the form of dual katars. Around each of Niklas' wrists and near each of his elbows are shackles that are bound together by steel rods to keep his handles in place. The actual blades of his weapons are each two feet long and are free-floating due to magnetism. However, to his opponents, Kyouton Gugen appears as blades that seemingly stretch, shrink, and bend up to a maximum distance of ten feet each. These blades follow the laws of physics and only defy logic in Niklas’ opponent’s perspective (e.g. while the blade can look ten feet long, only the two foot tip can actually cut, because that’s how long the actual blades are), meaning the blades don’t move on their own. Niklas makes the same swinging actions as he would normally.

Ability: Bizarro World One Point Oh Command: Remix!
At the cost of 2% of his maximum Reiatsu per round, Niklas can keep Bizarro World active, which inflicts various parts of his opponent’s body with lingering bewilderment with each strike. Each time Kyouton Gugen pierces an area of the opponent’s body, the afflicted part experiences opposite motions than what the brain intends. While the first strike is a simple suggestion, multiple strikes to the same area can prove to be much more than a mere nuisance.

After the first strike, opponents will experience a slight jerking motion from the afflicted body part. This is the body part telling the brain that it wants to move the other way. A second strike to the same part usually causes slowed movement because the brain and the body part are fighting opposite wills. After a third and final strike to the same body part, said body part will always move in the opposite direction than what the brain desires. This affliction lasts three turns after the first strike, so the full affect only ever lasts one turn. The effect can be reapplied for another three turns only after the effect has already worn off, so it starts over with a minor jerking motion again.

If the blade were to make contact with the opponent’s head, their brain will be rattled and the full affliction will be heaped on the opponent’s entire body for one turn, regardless of how many times each the rest of the body has been hit. In addition, a head hit will scramble Kidou commands for the same turn (e.g. a Hadou spell will result in the casting a Bakudou spell of the same power).

 

[Wayne]

(I'm dumping my old concept and starting with a fresh one)

First Stage-

Manifestation: By sacrificing 7% of his reiatsu and placing his hand on a solid surface (walls, ceilings, floors, etc.), Nick can manifest a glowing red circle, four and a half foot in diameter. He can freely move it in any direction according to his will, although it cannot move through bodies of water and/or thin air; it must remain on a concrete surface. The circle is adorned with a series of strange and enigmatic symbols and markings. Of all the images, there are three predominant ones that if hit hard enough, the circle will disperse and must be summoned once more.

Attack 1:

Through Nick’s command, the circle can protrude dozens of 5-foot long razor sharp spikes that do damage to the enemy. They scatter in all different directions but can also extend in a uniform formation. The man can make them sink according to his will if they are not needed.

Attack 2:

As a finishing move, Nick can pump in 375 reiatsu and make the circle detonate to cause massive damage to anything surrounding it. Once the explosion has subsided, the circle will automatically diffuse and must be summoned once again by offering 7% of Nick’s reiatsu.

 

[//Ulquiorra\\]

fixed, simplified and re-submitted

Shikai

Name:
Tsurugi Kujiku
(Sword Breaker)

Release Phrase:
Tear them asunder!
四分五裂

Form:
Tsurugi Kujiku takes the form of a war hammer.
The hammer is a slower weapon that requires a good amount of strength to use.

Description:
The head of the hammer is a large, rectangular shaped block (About the size of a cinder block). The handle of the hammer is the length of a man’s outstretched arm (about a meter long). The black ribbon that was tied to the hilt of the Zanpakutou becomes wrapped around the handle of the Hammer.

Abilities:

[Ability One] Shibugoretsu "Disruption”:
Cost: 5% Reiatsu
Hiro forces Reiatsu into the hammer head and delivers a powerful swing to the ground. The impact sends out a shock wave of Reiatsu that damages anything caught under the hammer. As the shock wave moves out ward the damage decreases to only a minor earthquake, simply stunning anything in its radius.

The radius of the attack is 10 meters (30 feet) from the point of impact.

[Ability Two] Kousotsu "Armored Warrior”:
Immediately upon release Hiro pays 10% Reiatsu to create a barrier that surrounds him as though he were wearing heavy armor. Once the barrier breaks it cannot be used again for the remainder of the release.
​

 

[Tintenpatronen]

Was about to change the first ability % thing as I realised it was superfluous but you'd already posted D: And I also came to change the healing ability too. But I've revised it quite a bit. Added a 3rd ability, but thought it'd be okay as it's not offensive.. but I can take it off if it's too much

Shikai – Hachuutsuki Yamada, 4th​

Name: Kougouheika (Her Majesty the Empress)

Release Command: Hiss, Kougouheika!

Form: Upon the release command, Hachuutsuki’s blade elongates, whilst the handle also grows and twists up and around the blade, forming into the shape of a snake. At the same time, the coiled snake of the tsuruba unwinds itself and twists around the blade, the hilt and tsuruba forming a double helix around the elongated blade, which has now become a gently tapering, silver rod. Finally, a pair of silver wings sprout from the top of the weapon, transforming her sword into a Caduceus. The snakes are both a deep emerald, with the hilt snake possessing red eyes, and the tsuruba snake possessing clear eyes. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...duceus.svg.png

Manifestation: Kougouheika takes the form of a spectacularly beautiful woman, clad in the finest jewels and kimono. She has emerald hair which falls to her knees, and yellow eyes, with slit pupils. Around her neck is a green snake, seemingly made of living metal, with one red eye and one colourless. At times she holds a cup in each hand, but what is inside is unknown.

Attack: Jadoku (Snake Toxin)
By paying 5% reiatsu per use, Hachuutsuki can order the red-eyed snake to lash out and bite her intended victim, within the snake's range of 2 feet. Upon biting, a circular mark appeared in the shape of a coiled snake, similar to a tattoo, appears upon the victims skin, with a radius of 5cm, around the point bitten. The venom released by the snake upon biting prevents blood from clotting within the circle meaning that any wound that is delivered within the mark will bleed profusely. Also, bruises received are much more severe inside the circle than outside. The effect lasts for 3 turns.

Ability: Enerugi Kakumei (Energy Revolution)
By expending 5% reiatsu per 3 turn block, Hachuutsuki can command the clear-eyed snake to inject her intended receiver with a serum that increases the efficiency of their living cells, giving the person a burst of pure energy. This means that they can think clearer and can use their new energy to increase their strength. Hence, for 3 turns, their zanjutsu stat is increased by 10%.

Ability: Takuwaemasu (Store/Save up)
By paying a flat cost of 75 reiatsu, Hachuutsuki can milk either of the two snakes of their venom or serum, allowing them to be transported and be used at times when Hachuutsuki is not present.

 

[Veralidaine]

-First Stage-

(I have no idea if you care about this for submission, but how she obtains the power is by drawing an anime version of herself and scribbling lines over it, which become the strings, tying in her art theme).

Manifestation: Nora can pull 20 foot long wire-like, cutting strings made of reiatsu from the air. They are thin, have a whitish cast, and are nearly transparent, similar to fishing wire.

Ability: Nora can create cutting strings by pulling them from the air with her fingers, at the cost of 100 reiatsu each. The strings are then guided through the air by her hands, her fingers able to manipulate how they bend and curl. They slice into their target unless blocked or evaded. She can tie and manipulate the strings for more mundane uses as well.

 

[DarkToaster]

Hao- if the blades are free floating and i'm reading this right, then that's an ability as well as your stretcho in your mind ability.

the stretcho one is alright provided the stretching is pretty much the same as any other stretchy kai (and we've had a few) except its just in the guy's head

your third ability uses the word jerking a lot and i lol when i read it. i guess its fine but just dump the kidou part. it's just asking for trouble when you tack on a kidou mechanic effecting thing because kidou mechanics are a whole different ball game

my advice on this kai is to drop one of these abilities and focus on the other but i doubt you'll listen so why am I typing this

resubmit with the changes and we'll be done

Criss - you dont need the cost on the explosion. the power of the explosion is that 7% you are using to summon it. be sure you have the resistance to use this power or you'll be hurting yourself to even use your own awakening. take off the explosion cost and i'll&nbsp;approve it, that is unless you think that extra 375 reiatsu is really going to make the difference when you are blowing someone up.

Ulq - Decent tank kai. Approved.

Tin -the third ability kind of has this potential for letting you essentially use your kai abilities for free which is probably no good. Also if you have that third ability, your stat buff would probably be too much. Drop it and you are approved.

Vera Suit -I need to know how long these strings are. Also if Nora controls these strings, wouldn't ten be like the limit rather than 20? Is she controlling them with her toes or something? Change it to ten stringus and give me a length limitation and we're fine.

Also keep in mind that people will be able to tear through these strings pretty quick since these are 100 rei strings. That's prolly okay though right?

 

[Wayne]

First Stage-

Manifestation: By sacrificing 7% of his reiatsu and placing his hand on a solid surface (walls, ceilings, floors, etc.), Nick can manifest a glowing red circle, four and a half foot in diameter. He can freely move it in any direction according to his will, although it cannot move through bodies of water and/or thin air; it must remain on a concrete surface. The circle is adorned with a series of strange and enigmatic symbols and markings. Of all the images, there are three predominant ones that if hit hard enough, the circle will disperse and must be summoned once more.

Attack 1:

Through Nick’s command, the circle can protrude dozens of 5-foot long razor sharp spikes that do damage to the enemy. They scatter in all different directions but can also extend in a uniform formation. The man can make them sink according to his will if they are not needed.

Attack 2:

As a finishing move, Nick can make the circle detonate to cause massive damage to anything surrounding it, equivalent to the amount of reiatsu used to summon the circle. Once the explosion has subsided, the circle will automatically diffuse and must be summoned once again.

 

[Veralidaine]

-First Stage-

Manifestation: Nora can pull up to 10 wire-like, cutting strings made of reiatsu from the air. The strings are each up to 20 feet long. They are thin, have a whitish cast, and are nearly transparent, similar to fishing wire.

Ability: Nora can create cutting strings by pulling them from the air with her fingers, at the cost of 100 reiatsu each. The strings are then guided through the air telekinetically by her hands, her fingers able to manipulate how they bend and curl, each one controlled by a different finger. If destroyed, the strings can be re-summoned at the rate of 2 strings/round. She can tie and manipulate the strings for more mundane uses as well.