Reviewed Week 333: Opprobrium - Feedback
- Thread starter Micali Alsara
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As a continuation to my comment on the previous chapter, we really see this obsession eating away at her. Again, it feels less like a thirst for revenge or a desire for justice. Micali is incapable of letting herself be happy, her guilt pushing her to reject the good things in her life. You would think the most difficult part would be the argument with Rosa, but honestly, the hardest parts were reading the way Micali is constantly putting up a front, going through the motions of happiness without being happy. Scary, because it's sometimes too relatable.
On the technical side, I noticed some tense-switching mistakes, bouncing from past to present in random spot. Most apparent here:
On the technical side, I noticed some tense-switching mistakes, bouncing from past to present in random spot. Most apparent here:
Micali furrowed her brows at that. She herself knew all too well how the council members of Lucrus seek to claim power - Viktor Industria had been head of the council for some years now, and his position as such gives him two votes and the ability to veto whatever other council members come forward with. They can’t usurp him politically - he wrote the very legislation that protects him. News that the representative of the Creditori is advocating for an overthrow of the government, though...Anima had truly come a long way from being in the back pocket of a councilman. Micali honestly never thought she’d see the day that Anima moved on from Editus Malum to a proper cause. Maybe she judged her too harshly. But no, because Anima is one of the people who founded the Insidiis and put Micali’s life on the path it followed to her current existence.