Reviewed Week 357: The First Last - Feedback
- Thread starter Micali Alsara
- Start date
The tonal shift was a welcome one, and I like seeing someone else's portrayal of Lupanar. The world-building throughout the chapter is great and I enjoyed the little bits of personality from our three new characters. I still have my concerns from the previous chapter about why Micali has any interest in this at all, but divorced from the previous chapters, this is a good display of Micali plying her trade. I would have liked a little more commitment to the 'humor' of Ritz being duped, but I can understand that being an uncomfortable scene to write.
The ending is mixed for me. After refusing to kill so many people in the previous chapters, I find it doubtful Micali would kill this random kid, already helpless and restrained. Especially in such a 'personal' way, looking right into his eyes as the light fades away. Then, why the fake-out? Or if she is actually killing him... why?
Small pedantic note: petrichor isn't something you're likely to smell in the city. It's the smell of earth and plants after a rain. Good word choice, wrong setting.
The ending is mixed for me. After refusing to kill so many people in the previous chapters, I find it doubtful Micali would kill this random kid, already helpless and restrained. Especially in such a 'personal' way, looking right into his eyes as the light fades away. Then, why the fake-out? Or if she is actually killing him... why?
Small pedantic note: petrichor isn't something you're likely to smell in the city. It's the smell of earth and plants after a rain. Good word choice, wrong setting.