Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 382: Into Shadow (3) by MoonlitRain014.
Reviewed Week 382: Into Shadow (3) - Feedback
- Thread starter MoonlitRain014
- Start date
Confirmation that this is a diary, but I don't quite think it's written like a diary, and stand by the first/third comments on the earlier entries.
The part Lurius plays here seems to create a hole in the plot. Established earlier on, he has a mechanical device that functions as an effective weapon against the Outside Ones and he has just met with Aeria. Given schematics, she could likely replicate the designs and they could arm their resistance members appreciably.
The chapter on the whole felt a little lacking on content, however. It's connecting the dots, giving an excuse for characters to know one another, but not actually adding new information to the story, so there's not as much to comment on.
The part Lurius plays here seems to create a hole in the plot. Established earlier on, he has a mechanical device that functions as an effective weapon against the Outside Ones and he has just met with Aeria. Given schematics, she could likely replicate the designs and they could arm their resistance members appreciably.
The chapter on the whole felt a little lacking on content, however. It's connecting the dots, giving an excuse for characters to know one another, but not actually adding new information to the story, so there's not as much to comment on.