Reviewed Week 394: A Bargain - Feedback
- Thread starter MoonlitRain014
- Start date
It's good to see Laermont and company starting to make moves. It's good that everyone has a role to play in the coming conflict.
And leave it to inscrupulous companies to somehow find a way to work with brain-sucking aliens. It's not a good idea and rarely turns out well, but I like how you brought the two separate parts of the plot together.
The actual bargain part of the chapter was fun to read. Both sides don't want to give up too much to get what they want, but Calvinia is slowly getting information. It seems like the pieces are falling into place for Laermont's side, so let's see how it goes.
And leave it to inscrupulous companies to somehow find a way to work with brain-sucking aliens. It's not a good idea and rarely turns out well, but I like how you brought the two separate parts of the plot together.
The actual bargain part of the chapter was fun to read. Both sides don't want to give up too much to get what they want, but Calvinia is slowly getting information. It seems like the pieces are falling into place for Laermont's side, so let's see how it goes.
Lots of talking in this one. Always be careful to avoid too much talking without at least describing things happening on the side -- and make sure things are happening. While you did keep up with expressions and simple gestures, I would have liked to see a little more going on in the background. That aside, I appreciate seeing the reference to Caput and the relationship with him; it's always great to see threads carried over from other plots.