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"Greetings, Lady Agaricales," Caput responded, eyes remaining resolutely ahead as they worked their way upward through the city. "I must thank you and your people for their aid in Pelagia's time of need." The street they were on cut a straight path but on every crossroads, more naga gathered...

Pillars of flame erupted along the southern edge of the dock yard. "Herd it west!" Prince Caput ordered, casting another spell to try to turn the fleeing worm back. The one to the east side may have been a lost cause, but he didn't want two Tenebraen behemoths in the Copiae's waters. Driweus...

"They are here," Etiirshaii announced suddenly. In the intervening moments, the king had summoned more of his guards into the throne room, the prisoners held back near the doors and leaving the center of the expansive chambers completely open. The ring of violet- and indigo-scaled ophidians...

Ulupi stared into Aelflead's eyes, piercing almost, before an eel-toothed smile spread. "The princess herself. What an honor." Her tone was flat, and though Himai failed to convey sarcasm, it was clear that she was not impressed. "I will admit that the prince seems sincere. The one redeeming...

Haven't read the chapter itself, yet, but thought I would respond to this with a suggestion. The forum has a BGCOLOR tag you can use. If you want to include white text, specifically, you can surround it in a darker bgcolor so it stands out regardless of which forum skin the reader is using...

Durio nodded without pulling her eyes away. "It is Captain Garus, though he looks like he's had a hard time of it. I wouldn't be able to locate or scry at all if he weren't there." To Ignis, she added, "They are… negotiating, it sounds like. The velen woman's name is Diamantus, it seems, but no...

Approved with revisions, including some grammatical stuff. The proper word for the 'white' of the eye is 'sclera' -- using that prevents confusion with saying 'the white of the eye is black.' Also, 'brackish' refers to an unpleasant, briny taste or smell -- 'murky' would be a good visual...

While one wicker worm faced a barrage of relentless attacks, the one coiling and twisting around the lighthouse faced attackers with precision and tactics. The blow to the 'head' particularly seemed to harm it, and some of the smaller tendrils that waved around it lost their glow. It seemed...

Far and away to the northeast, the Volitans soared over the sea of Aquilonia. Aelflead, Dante, and Maswae had spent most of the trip in silence, with the old grayscale focused on piloting, Aelflead on what she would say to Drars Ulupi, and Dante worrying over how Aeria was faring in her own...

This chapter, more than others, felt like it was written for a modern, real-world story and then had some PT names swapped in. References to things like plastic wrap, loading a truck in a garage to run a drug empire, it feels somewhat out of place. Although it makes more sense in the context of...

Loved this chapter. Seeing how Apollo grew up, and the little trio surviving on their own, was interesting. There's signs of the present Apollo in him, but definitely a little less hardened. The scene was set really well, and in little time, we get to see the personalities behind Oriana and...

This was a good chapter, and the sleazy atmosphere was excellent. I like how Apollo's recklessness seems tempered by Aeneas. Getting context on his search for the demvir is also kind of nice. There's not a whole lot more to say here except the continued characterization is great. However...

Oof. "100 bigs" sounds like 100 bigatium which is 1000 exa. Dahls would make more sense here if it was an expensive trip. Surprising to see Aeneas here after being told he was in Excelsa in the previous chapter. I went into the mansion assault assuming this was a flashback of some kind. A brief...

This has been in the back of my mind since the beginning of this arc: this is an excellent take on life in/near Lupanar. Apollo's train of thought going down his 'assets' and how useful they would be to him, his thoughts on whether he could afford to rebuild (and deciding to do it not because it...

Precocious kid, but I'm surprised he got through Apollo's shell. Half-expecting he's playing Apollo like a fiddle, but it was fun reading the interaction between the two. Cario definitely doesn't act like I expected, but he's consistent and believable. It's a small detail, but I appreciate that...

Even with your previous reply explaining the names, it still took some getting used to. Kept thinking of Tycho as your character and was wondering why he was so out-of-character until Apollo appeared. Surprisingly cocky in this one. Previous chapters had me thinking Apollo was extremely...

You did a great job describing the creature as it burst free, and highlighting the terror for the trio as they start making their escape. Really looking back on it, very little happened during this chase, but it felt like a lot did. The way you described the atmosphere, the near-panic in Kai's...

Fairly short but intriguing, the setup had the right amount of mystery. The dead boar, its wounds, the mysterious fluid, the patch of cloth. It's a lot of things that don't add up, and it creates tension so that we, the readers, are already dreading what that velen is going to do when he shows...

I know this is one I prompted you to do, but out of the very little I gave you to work with, you created something deeply suspenseful and managed to marry together the overarching plot with Micali's personal plot and growth. There's a lot I would like to say but the first thing that comes to...

Well, damn. This is a pretty severe whiplash from the last writing piece I read (not by you two). First of all, I have a deep appreciation for the characterization the two of you are capable of. I've read and been told that a good character should be visually recognizable even in silhouette...