Grading Session for Week 244

[lilmangoseed]

Group 5 -> Group 4 -> Group 6 -> Group 2&3 -> Group 1 -> Group 5

Group 1: 1st/5th/7th Divisions/Quincies
Group 2&3: 10th/8th Division
Group 4: 4th/11th Divisions
Group 5: 3rd/12th Divisions
Group 6: AHs/Vizards​

Grades are due TONIGHT @ 11:59 PM EST


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p.s. Katie's grading 10th/8th. I haz no writing

 

[Rob]

Doc - 63

Take full points for this collaboration. There were a few errors here and there, but not enough to warrant any concrete punishment. I'd give you strife for not finishing this collab in one session, but alas real life can do that to a person.

Group Four: gimme links

my link:
http://www.mangaden.net/forum/showthread.php?36640-3rd-Week-244-Infection

 

[Time Lady Katie]

Tenth, fill out the Google Spreadsheet.
Eighth and First grader send me links.

My two divisions, together for me to grade? Be still my heart!
And for my grader: Failure to Exceed.

Pho
Welcome back. Okay, Lil welcomed you back last week, but welcome back anyway. Have 75 Division Bonus.

Fishing Interrupted
I guess I can appreciate why the ending had to be so abrupt, but it really feels like a let-down that such a good conversation comes to such an unsatisfactory end. I liked Udo's thoughts on the purpose of the Eighth as one of sword and shield, particularly as juxtaposed with the other image, that of shock troops. Like we're a division of mini-Sayises.
Look at me, I said "we", oh the nostalgia!
Anyway, though I understand the less-than-graceful end, I can't help but think it could've been approached a little less obliquely. It's a believable ending: people get inopportune phone calls, but as writers I hope we don't need to rely to these mundane moments to cap off our stories when I am sure a better option is available.
46/47

Time and Relative Dimension in Japan
Some day, Phony, when we have FA, it should be called "Time and Relative Dimension in Space". Awesome title aside, and the nostalgia rush from seeing Enchanted Blade Gorou put on the back burner, let's dig in, shall we?
Again the ending felt abrupt. Hopefully there'll be a follow-up with Sixth Seat Tabawara back in action. But in the meantime, it was nice to see the set-up to the problem that put Uddy (I did that on purpose) out of commission for a while. I really hope you keep going with this personal storyline, and not just because I want to see Weeping Angel hollows. The storyline looks pretty compelling.
63/63

 

[swaswj]

Finny - 101/101

I'm not sure if I've commented recently that I like the way that it's been much easier to visualize your writing. So... I do. I'm rather curious about what you have going on here with the boy. I liked his breakdown, full of teen angst and general insanity. I think showing more response from the shinigami could have heightened the tension in that scene even more.

+150 Div Bonus for being the only person to write this week.

Worse (2021) 101/101
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Hare - 53/53

My understanding of this arc is sketchy at best, since I tend to dip in and out and lose continuity. There's not a whole lot here to comment on, except that, even disjointed as my knowledge is, I'm almost certain I've heard this exchange between Hare and Iida before... multiple times. Not the exact words, but the sentiment.

“What would I do without you?” Letting the smile fade, a dark shadow falling across his features, Haresuno walked past Iida and headed for the door.
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I'm all for consistency and character faults, but this falls into the territory of my complaint against martyrdom. Repetition steals away significance. For every time that Haresuno tells Iida she's important and then goes on without her, it makes it that much less of an impact the next time he does it. For there to be any significance, it needs to be in contrast to something. In this case, perhaps it's the reverse. How many times will he do this without coming to trust Iida?

Heroes of Legend (1055) 53/53
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Rob - 50/51

I'm not overly satisfied with this as a chapter. Nothing happened. It's just random thoughts meandering with no real direction or conclusion. I'm also kind of unhappy that you didn't speak with me before going with "Nana is stronger than anyone else who has touched the toxin." It's really the sort of thing you don't want to play around with, and it's entirely possible that you'll have to lose the arm in order to stay alive.

I'm not awarding it PM bonus due to nothing actually happening.

Infection (1015) 50/51
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No writing from me.

 

[MoonlitRain014]

So this is late and Raph has let it be known that as it was he who was confused about grading, he will absorb the penalties for being late.


Toddles McToddington

The Lost Part III (55/57)

Das Mewn is not going to pwn das Tod in das grading. Das Mewn enjoyed the scene that was set up in the chapter and things are interesting in introducing Tod back into the RP so this takes nearly full marks. I only knocked a couple of points off!

Katie

Failure to Exceed (246/246)

I do like it when Shakespeare finds his way into things and that monologue from Hamlet was a good way to go about discussing your chapter's topic. As always you write well and I am intrigued by all the complexity in Addie's character. This only revealed more facets.

 

[Shun]

Didn't write anything and didnt even know for sure if i was grading or who i would be grading so penalties dont apply i'm assuming...?

Anyways,

Moonie:
Take 40 div bonus for still being able to consistently write.
One Step at a Time- 37/38
For your collab with Pho, I'm not entirely sure about the backstory both of your characters have on how they know each other ( not your fault, really just the misfortune that comes with having a different grader from time to time), but it's a little funny how they speak on very familiar tones with one another. Not exactly sure if quincies are still about, so idk if a treaty would exactly work if that's what you're planning? Other than that, the writing was sound, not really a fan of these really short collabs though.

Death Dealing for Fun and Profit- 62/64
I've been keeping up with your chapters believe it or not as much as I can, and I just want to put out there although this chapter doesnt concern it that I was quite shocked and amused by the fact that Zakki and Emily turned out to be siblings. Who would have thought?
As for the actual chapter, you know I actually hanve't read a fight against a hollow in a while, nicely written. The only thing I can really point out about your writing is your tendency to forget about commas in various places.