Release Submission Thread

[Eidolon]

Bankai​

“Embrace of Destruction’s Essence”​

Form
When its bankai form is unleashed, Essential blasts forth a large field of energy, 50 feet in length, width, and about two feet in depth. The energy radiates from a center point of Kyuu upon being called forth. The sword itself attains the shape of an exaggerated two handed sword, but due to its composition of flowing energy may be wielded with precision.

Excess energy from the weapon flows through Kyuu’s own form, distorting his visage and providing a sinister air. Large sheets of energy extend from his shoulder blades in a mockery of wings. Vaporous trails rise from his nostrils and mouth when breathing or speaking, and his eyes are covered over by sheets of the amassed energy. Occasional arcs of the vibrant lightening-like power arc along his skin.

It should be noted, since Essential is a constant outpouring of raw energy suffers or offers no resistance when contacting matter or energy of any sort.

Ability
Essential's ability in bankai is unusual, but none the less potent. By concentrating and fueling the reaction with his own reiatsu, Kyuu is able to pull Essential into and have it become of him. His newly imbued body is able to move with poise, control, and react with lightening speed. The benefit of this ability is that Kyuu has a 45% increase to his hohou stat.

Attack – Essential Manipulation – 100 of Kyuu’s reiatsu per round
At the cost of 100 reiatsu, Kyuu is able to stimulate the energy that Essential draws forth and thus control and shape it as he pleases. He may manipulate the sheet of energy that was summoned but not the shape of his zanpakutou, so he has 50’x50’x2 of energy to mold and conform to any shapes he can dream of. The effectiveness of any attacks made through this shaping is based on his zanjutsu stat. The speed at which the substance can move is dependent on his hohou.

When controlled, the energy is dangerous, contact with it similar to that of a super-heated plasma. Non-spiritual objects are immediately consumed, spiritual objects of little pressure are melted and consumed quickly, but things with spiritual pressure suffer severe burns or melting depending on length of contact.

If not stimulated in this fashion, the energy is present but not dangerous(for instance, when freshly summoned or if Kyuu chooses not to pay the cost for a round).

Attack – Essential Destruction – variable

By paying the same reiatsu as the final cost the enemy paid for any attack or ability, Kyuu is able to nullify that attack or ability assuming it comes into contact with Essential’s bankai form. This attack could be used to cancel on going effects struck by Essential, but does not prevent the reapplying of said effects. So, this could not stop a melee swing from a zanpakutou's "blade", but it could stop a hail of blades attack that has a reiatsu cost, assuming Kyuu pays that cost.

Attack – Destruction’s Essence – 15% of Kyuu’s reiatsu per turn sustained
By channeling the energy field summoned by Essential around his own form into a matrix of super-conductive lattice, Kyuu can suck the heat from the surrounding area of his Bankai and convert it into joules of distilled destructive energy by channeling through Essential.

This energy is then guided through the sword of Essential in a straight-line beam attack. The beam has a 3’ radius and extends for several miles. The attack may be sustained from round to round by paying the 15% reaitsu cost. Chance of the attack to hit is dependent upon Kyuu’s Zanjutsu stat. This all-out attack automatically enacts the effects of Essential Destruction, eliminating anything that has a total reiatsu of less then 15% of Kyuu’s total reiatsu that comes into contact with the beam in addition to doing raw damage.

After this attack has finished, the air surrounding Kyuu will be as much as 50 degrees colder then before the assault.

 

[Hurricane]

(I hate writing things like these, so I apologize in advance. Good luck beth, you'll need it.)

Name: (Boru times a million)

Diarmad has led many lives over the 2500 years he has been alive. From gangster, to murderer, to protector of the peace, Diarmad seems to have worn many masks... perhaps merely masquerading, or perhaps he really believed in what he was doing at the time. An ancient who doesn't act like an ancient, and all because of his constant reinvention, rebuilding of himself. The Diarmad of today is without a doubt different from the Diarmad of two thousand years ago, and the mask he wears is entirely different. How ironic it would seem to some, to see that only by relying on the mask he wears among his Vizard brethren was he able to achieve the pinnacle of power, and pinnacle of his tentatively named... "Immortality."

Form: The twin tomahawks change into two intimidating battle axes, with huge half moons counter balanced by heavy picks on the other side. Instead of being connected to each other, the twin battle axes are connected by chains of bone extending backwards to behind and above the form of the Scotsman. The chains of bone are made of a strange collection of yellowing bones, both large and small. From femurs to patellas, he's got it all, and the chains can be extended or contracted at will. The chains leading backwards connect to two pendulum shaped axes, always swinging in opposite directions... almost as if they were... pendulums. At any moment the old Vizard can can cast his battle axes aside and call upon the monstrous blades. This is one of the few times that the enormous pendulums will cease their rythmic... strangely symbolic swinging.

Ability: (Name - I unno. Something tainted-ish considering he can only use it while masked?)

Due to the nature of Diarmad's attainment of Bankai, this ability can only be used when masked. The pendulums that form the backbone of the Bankai's form act as a timer for the activation of this ability. When the timer reaches zero (roughly 3 turns plus any extra time needed to generate enough rage) a wave of empty darkness washes over Diarmad, completely obscuring him from view. A moment later, and there stands the old warrior, completely rejuvenated, his wounds all healed entirely. Limbs can be replaced, muscles regrown, bones knitted in an instant.

The old Scotsman is not a slave of this ability, however, able to postpone the wave of black if it suits his need, though the timer only restarts (~3 turn countdown) after the ability has been used.

Costs: 30% rage

(?cost?)

Attack: (?Bonesaw? - Not really)

The chains holding his four axes together disintegrate and fall to earth, closely followed by the heavy pendulums which crash down with a resounding roar (doesn't affect countdown for ability). The bones, on the instant of hitting the earth, disappear, and a little less than one second later, the earth in a large circle (how big?) erupts with huge, sharpened bones of all shapes and sizes leaping forth from the earth herself. These bones are extremely sharp and at least one edge as well as the point, and burst forth on many different angles making predicting exactly where will be unaffected nigh impossible.

(Cost- Would prefer this cost be reiatsu, as I think only the ability and Vizard Attack should be modelled on the Vizard mechanics.)

Attack 2: n/a yet

Attack 3: n/a yet

Vizard Attack: ??? (Dang that's a lot of empty)

Obviously I gotta write an epic volume about striking up a deal with the devil inside (Koschei) in order to finally attain that elusive bankai which he had been striving to attain for over 50 years. Probably not even possible, or maybe it just ain't been done yet. I unno, whaddya think? Feel free to edit and insert as you see fit, especially you wind.

Oh, and credit goes to Wind and Deus for thinking of everything. They're beasts.

 

[Branchi-san]

2nd try: A Sensable version

not sure if the shielding is done right.

Form: Bugu araihada (Rough-skinned armor)

Form Description

His initial discovery will be that of one for defense. During the releasing of his reiatsu, the energy seeping from his pores can quickly provides ash that hardens, forming an early form of his true Bugu-araihada. This pre-defensive system relies highly on Tenyo's durability, just as an impact to one playing sports with padding. Of course, like all defenses, when used strategically, it can become a brut offensive force.

The Bugu-araihada is formed from the heat from his reiatsu burning particles in the air, and then compressing the ashes into a rouch-skinned exterior. Tenyo's reiatsu can be seen as heat waves just prior to the dark smoke that seeps from his pores. This gives the appearance of having a black reiatsu. When this process is slowed, it forges a stronger layer of protection, as more ash builds.

During the first stage, his abilities will grow...
Bugu-ariahada will take on more of the appearance of a full armor. He will still maintain the fortified exoskeleton skin, while acquiring metallic like pieces. These armored pieces will cover the back of his fist up to his forearm; a pad that covers his shoulder blade to mid-bicep; a metallic dragon scaled breast and backplate; and high boots that has knee cover. The outer padding is forged to handle impact while the exoskeleton skin serves as a mechanism to fill the voids.

Abilities:
1. (shielding)
Bugu-ariahada costs 20% of Reiatsu.

For enemies with...
Reiatsu 2x greater or more, it only shields up to 20% of their attacks.
Reiatsu 1.5x, but less than 2 times, it shields up to 40% of their attacks.
Reiatsu equal to Tenyo's, but less than 1.5, shields up to 60% of their attacks.
Reiatsu .5x or less, shields up to 80% of their attacks.

2. Iki wo haku (fiery fists) costs 1% of Reiatsu and every fist that is reignited after.

Iki wo haku Description

Iki wo haku (To exhale, Breathe)
With the name being translated, it is not meant that Tenyo will breathe fire. As one of the facets of Bugu araihada, Tenyo will be able to engaged in a fiery combat. This originally had no name, but Tenyo deemed it necessary to call it Iki wo haku; felt as though he is the dragon, and his fists are the breath that causes the damages to enemies. After only taking on a thin layer of Bugu-araihada around his fists, a releasing of reiatsu may be used to re-ignite that layer of ash. The comparison is that of charcoals. Although material used to form Bugu araihada has been already burned, like charcoal, with enough heat from his internal inferno, Tenyo can maintain a fist of fire. He can also allow a chunk of armor at his palm and throw the engulfed chunk. This is a weaker attack and only has the velocity of his throwing strength. He would be better off punching, but it can be useful if used tactically.

3. Haisou (propulsion) is a fast and useful ability to Bugu-araihada and costs 2% of Reiatsu.

Haisou's Description

Haisou(To take flight)
This rare ability comes to Tenyo as a surprise, prior to his True Awakening, but not at the same time as his Iki wo Haku and Bugu-araihada. When he discovers this ability, he will have to quickly learn that it's not actually flying, but rather a propulsion of energy. The burst of reiatsu will be directed from his backplate of his armor. He must also learn to gauge the thrust of the propulsion. An over thrust can lead to an unstoppable and uncontrollable launch. If done tactically with a jump, Tenyo can reach higher grounds, or appear to fly as he is gliding off the momentum. Haisou is equivalent to a jump.

If the enemies' connection is equal or half Tenyo's; then, it would appear Tenyo has attained Shunpo or Hirenyaku. Anyone with more connection will see it only as a faster Jyanpo (Jump).

At 1000 Harmony
Propulsion = Jyanpo of (20 steps)
At 1500 Harmony
Propulsion = Jyanpo of (30steps)
At 2000 Harmony
Propulsion = Jyanpo of (60 steps)
maximum steps will be calculated just prior to True Awakening.

 

[Chiisu]

Vincent Kreuz - Shikai

Name: 黒曜石 - 'Kokuyousen' (Obsidian)

Manifestation: The spirit of Vincent's Zanpakutou is a woman of indeterminable age. She has pitch black hair that seems to shine in even the dimmest light. Her eyes are a crimson red. Her skin is pale. She wears a simple but elegant crimson dress. She has an equally simple bracelet made of obsidian on her left wrist. Her hair and dress always billow lightly, regardless of wind or lack thereof. She has a vibrant and fiery personality, with an amount of energy to rival Vincent's. She highly adores Vincent, and dotes on him as much as he'll let her. Where Vincent tends to see the good in everyone, Kokuyousen tends to be wary of everyone he encounters. That's not to say she doesn't like people, she's just less trusting. It's her desire to protect her young master.[/spoiler]

Release Phrase: "Reinige die unreinen Seelen, Kokuyousen." "Reinige, Kokuyousen."
("Cleanse the impure souls, Kokuyousen." "Cleanse, Kokuyousen.")

Release Form: After Vincent speaks the release phrase, the sword begins to glow a bright crimson. The blade grows to about 24 inches in length. At the same time, a small bell on a red ribbon extend out of the cap on the hilt. The bell has no clapper, and therefor makes no noise. The ribbon is about 5 inches long. When the glowing fades, the blade is revealed to be made of roughly cut obsidian. While it appears to be jagged and brittle, it is just as strong as any other Zanpakutou. The blade retains it's straight-edge form, but now both edges are sharp. However, because of the jagged edges, the sword does not inflict clean cuts, they are very hard to heal and impossible to stitch shut. The guard remains gold, but is now shaped like a five petal flower.

Ability 1: Brennende Schneide (Burning Blade)

-For 1% of his reiatsu, Vincent can cause his sword to ignite. The obsidian blade begins to glow a deep red, and after charging for a moment, the sword bursts into flame. This increases the cutting power of the blade, subsequently increasing the damage it can do (to souls, people, and solid objects). Because of the intense heat, any cuts a person receives are instantly cauterized. However, the burn left by the sword are extremely painful, slowing the victim down depending on the severity and location of the burns. These burns take longer to heal than normal burns. Vincent is immune to all flames produced by his sword. This lasts for 5 turns, after which Vincent must spend .5% of his reiatsu to maintain the ignition for another 5 turns. While his blade is lit, Vincent can repel or block any fire based attacks, dependent on the users reiatsu. <50% of Vincent's reiatsu allows him to deflect the attack (even back at the user); 51% to 125% of Vincent's reiatsu can be blocked and neutralized; over 125% of Vincent's reiatsu the attack is unaffected.[/spoiler]

Ability 2: Brenende Kraftlinien (Burning Leylines)

-Vincent can use this ability whether or not his blade is lit. If his blade is lit, he can spend 3% of his reiatsu to activate this ability. After activation, the flames around the blade are drawn into the sword. If his sword is not lit, he must spend 4% of his reiatsu (3% for the ability, 1% to heat the blade). After spending the reiatsu, the blade begins to glow as if he were igniting it, but it does not ignite. Vincent may then draw any number of lines, summing up to a maximum of 12 feet, into the ground. When he first carves the lines into the ground, they glow red, but fade to black when completed. The lines may be drawn in any shape. Whenever any part of a person other than Vincent passes over these lines (within 15 ft max of the line), fire and molten rock violently erupt from under the line. The eruption runs the length of the line and is as tall as the detection height. Vincent may shorten the detection height by will as he draws the lines, but once drawn, they cannot be changed. Once drawn, the lines will last for 3 turns, after which they will fade unless Vincent spends 1% of his reiatsu to maintain them. While there are any lines still active, Vincent may not ignite his sword, though it may still be heated. The total length of line increases by 2 feet every 500 connection to a max of 30 feet, and the detection height increases by 3 feet every 500 connection, to a maximum of 30 feet. Vincent may dismiss the lines at any time. A person of 150% of Vincent's reiatsu or more may break the lines with an attack, thereby dismissing that line.[/spoiler]

Attack: Brennende Bombe (Burning Bomb)

-When Kokuyousen is lit, Vincent can spend 2% of his reiatsu to amplify the power of the fire on the blade, and then compress it into a ball at the end of the blade. He may then launch it from the sword by simply swinging it. The fireball will travel until a) it hits a solid object, b) gravity pulls it to the ground, or c) Vincent wills it to detonate. The fireball detonates when it hits a solid object or when Vincent wills it so. The detonation has a blast radius of 5 feet, with an additional foot every 500 connection, to a max of 10 feet. Anyone within 2x the blast radius is not directly hurt, but will receive burns from the intense release of heat. On the same turn after launching an attack, Vincent may spend an additional .5% of his reiatsu to reignite the sword. This is possible because the sword is still 'hot' (glowing and superheated).[/spoiler]

 

[Leitmotif]

Everything is the same, except for the attack ability which was entirely modified and made much, much more simpler and, as usual, clichÁ©. =D

[ 英雄豪傑 ] Eiyuugouketsu

[ Description ]

The final stage of Takanori’s awakening manifests itself, as certainly expected, in the form of endless, ever blowing amounts of wind converging to his figure. The extent is so great that the amounts of air are ‘visible’ to the naked eye, turning an element that is most commonly unseen (wind) into something that has a definite form – thus, easier to be controlled. The amalgamation of various ‘layers’ of wind into one definite current causes all of this contained energy to take the form of an endless stream of silvery coloration, which spirals to skies above in a continuous movement.​

[ Specific ]

奥義: 行動半径
Ougi: Koudouhankei

Perhaps the most important ability of Takanori’s full release, Koudohakei literally means ‘sphere of activity’, which is exactly what this ability denotes about the release: the range of Takanori’s influence over the wind, and the extent of what he can do with it. At the time of full awakening, Takanori is able to completely control any and all amounts of ‘air’ within a radius equal to [ Harmony / 1,000 ] in feet.

Acts such as blasting gusts of wind, re-directing air currents, enveloping objects with localized amounts of wind, and all actions that don’t harm others directly can be done almost effortlessly – as a note, flight is included in here.​

[ Abilities ]

奥義: 半月鎌
Ougi: Hangetsukama

By condensing high-pressured amounts of wind in the shape of a half-moon, the young man creates various sickles that beautifully dance across the battlefield in search of their targets. Sporting silvery color and threat similar to that of a reiatsu infused blade, the sickles are purely controlled and created by thought and eyesight, allowing the young man to actually co-ordinate them with his body movements.

They rely on two ‘basic’ actions of the young man during battle: to think about the enemy, and to pinpoint its location. In this fashion, there are two impositions over the creation of the blades. The first is that they are only able to ‘exist’ within the radius of influence of Koudouhankei. The second is that they need are linked to a set ‘target’ during their creation – sickles created with target ‘A’ in mind will constantly follow the same around their effect area, and instantly vanish if they were to exit said sphere of influence.

Obviously, the sickles can only be created where there’s room for them – they can’t superimpose over other beings or objects already present within the field.

The maximum number of sickles that can be created simultaneously is equal to [ Harmony / 100 ] with each of them costing an amount equal to .05% of Takanori’s current reiatsu.​

奥義: 逆転層
Ougi: Gyakutensou

By mastering the principles of ‘Fuugamessuru’, Takanori evolved the technique into its refined state of art. At any given time, as long as the projectile is within his radius of action, the young man can either nullify said offensive, or reverse its course and send it back to the user via manipulation of its trajectory – however, he loses the ability to merely slow down the incoming threat. The conditions are very similar to the original technique, but there’s one major difference between the two of them; Takanori doesn’t have to see the attack anymore, as long as it’s within his radius of activity.

• Attacks coming from opponents with more than 2x his reiatsu can’t be either sent back or nullified.

• Attacks coming from people with reiatsu higher than 1.5x his reiatsu can only be nullified.

• Attacks from other beings can either be nullified or sent back at his leisure and possibilities.

The cost to ‘reverse’ an attack is equal to 1.5x the reiatsu spent on the same, while the cost to simply nullify an attack is equal to the amount of reiatsu used on the same – equal forces cancel each other, right?

As a final note, Takanori can only nullify/reverse three attacks at the same time. Both processes take approximately one to three seconds for completion, so time is something to take notice when barraging the young man with ranged attacks.​

 

[louhi]

week 44 evals


augh still so far behind! thanks zenny for helping last week. more evals will be coming shortly.


zeal: approved with changes

form - this is fine


ability - add some kind of cost for the shields to shoot flame, just a flat one like 100 rei each time or something.


solarha - fine

orora - the range of the whole glowing field can be 300m but the range for the debuff and microwaving needs to start out smaller. you can use the same kind of formula moot has for his withering presence, but a bit bigger since yours costs more: start with 30 meters at 10k connection and add 1m per 1k connection after that up to a max of 100m.

the hohou debuff also needs to be changed so that its based your own stats rather than the opponent's. So, lower the movement stat by 5% of your reiatsu instead. hey, this is a good deal for you ;D also.. you're paying such a cost for it. allow the debuff to linger for another 10 rounds after orora deactivates.

Add some wording to the microwave blood boiling aspect just to indicate the effectiveness decreases against opponents with much higher rei etc, the typical thing. you don't need to write a full out chart or anything. and by the same token you could really have it boil things at the bottom of the spectrum if you wanted to, but i spose thats up to you if you want your kai to obliterate every creature haha.

vizard attack - scary! but the cost is high enough.

 

[Redfin]

Redoing my Kai a bit. It is now 20% different from before.

Spirit: Same as before.

Release appearance: The sword does not change at all in the released state. Instead, a white paper lantern appears. It is attached to the hilt of the sword by a trail of purple smoke.

Usually, the symbol 凶 (bad luck) is printed on the face. If something is attached to the end of the hilt, then that will affect what is printed on the face of the lantern. For instance, since Hotate usually has a Chappy head attached to the hilt, the lantern will have a rabbit face printed on it.

Attack 1
Costs any amount greater than or equal to 100 reiatsu to use.

The lantern splits down the middle and a disembodied mouth shoots out of it. The direction can be changed mid flight but by not by much. The speed it travels can also be changed. The mouth will fly a maximum of 20 meters before disappearing.

While the mouth is flying, it can be knocked away or destroyed. Once it hit's a person however, the mouth will home in, bite down and become untouchable. As long as the mouth is attached, it will eat reiatsu from the target in amount equal to 2% of Hotate's reiatsu per turn. The energy is then destroyed.

Only 3 of them can be attached to one target simultaneously and only 15 can exist in total. The mouth will fall off by itself after 5 turns or...

Attack 2
Whenever a target inflicted with a mouth tries to use an ability that costs reiatsu (such as kai aiblities, kidou, feats, techs etc.), the mouth will activate. The amount of energy the mouth has is equal to the cost paid to create it plus whatever was drained.

If the ability costs more than the mouth's reiatsu, the effectiveness of the ability will be reduced but whatever amount the mouth had. The mouth then disappears.

If the ability costs less than or equal to what the mouth has, the ability is canceled out entirely. Abilities that costs less than or equal to 25% of the mouth's energy will not make the mouth to disappear so they will continue to eat reiatsu. Those that cost more than 25% will make it disappear.

Attack 3 (Though its not really an attack)
Using reiatsu, the lantern can be lit. The radius of the light is 1 meter per 10 reiatsu spent and the max range is 10 meters. The light lasts until the user wishes it to cease.


Old version for reference

Name: Youkimatsuri

Release Appearance: The sword does not change at all but the Chappy head tied to the hilt starts to expand and takes the form of a red paper lantern with a handle on the top. A rabbit face is printed on the side of the lantern. Though the picture actually depends on what the attached to the sword at the time. If nothing is attached, then the symbol 凶 (bad luck) is printed on it.

The string connecting the lantern to the sword becomes a ghostly trail of purple smoke, able to change in length and pass through solid objects. In fact, the lantern and sword for all purposes act as if they were unconnected.

Attack 1: The paper lantern partially splits across the middle making it look like a gaping mouth. The lantern then shoots out small ghostly mouths that fly in a straight line. While flying, the mouths can be attacked and blocked as normal but if the mouths connect, they will bite down and become untouchable. The mouths will fly a maximum of 8 meters before disappearing. Each mouth costs at least 200 reiatsu to create.

While attached, the mouths will cause the target to leak 2% of Hotate’s reiatsu per turn.

The reiastsu is sent into the air and unrecoverable. Only three mouths may be on one target at a time and only 6 mouths can exist in total at 1000 connection. That number increases by 1 for every 500 connection and maxes out at 15.


The mouths will disappear by themselves after 5 turns or…

Attack 2 (Or Attack 1 Extend if you will): Each mouth costs at least 200 reiatsu to create but more can be used if necessary. Whenever a target afflicted with these mouths tries to use an ability/spell that requires reiatsu (or equivalent energy), the power of the ability/spell is decreased by the amount of reiatsu used to create the mouth.

If the opponent's ability/spell costs more than 25% of the mouth reiatsu, the mouth will disappear after reducing the power.

If the opponent’s ability/spell costs less than or equal to 25% of the mouths reiatsu, the mouth will not disappear and continue to function as normal.

If the power is reduced to 0 or below, then the ability is completely negated.

Ability 1: Like all lanterns, the lantern can be lit. It needs a source of fire to be lit however.

 

[louhi]

Week 45​

Doku- approved with changes

name: this is isn't that serious but it kinda bugs me - if you're gonna make the name of your kai in japanese, can you pick an actual japanese word for root, rather than an english word turned into japanese syllables D:


as far as i can tell, just plain root is 根 (ne). if you search animelab or another japanese dictionary online, or ask people in the chat, you might find more suitable names to use.


form: this is fine but you may want to reconsider the method of your release, since shinigami don't necessarily fight on the ground at all times. On earth sometimes you might be standing in the sky. In SS, you might not always find it convenient to have to stab the floor of whatever room you're in.

ability 1: Oh okay, that's why you made a tree stump. Hmm.. well, you might want to have it possible to float in the air or whatever too.

the starting numbers you gave for range is already the max that you can get for a shikai so take out that equation and just leave it at 20m.

10cm in diameter is also pretty big, so drop that equation too and just have the max be 10cm.

Start with 10 roots and just leave it at that, no equations there either. Of course you can grow back roots that are cut, just say it happens automatically after 2 turns or something, no cost.

ability 2: this set up is pretty confusing. Just pay 2% per turn to manipulate all of your roots collectively, and say that the power of each individual root diminishes if your concentration is spread between controlling all of them, whereas only controlling a single root will be much stronger. if you get what i mean.


ability 3: kk its fine.



Hase- approved

form: this is kind of weird and not very shinigami-like, but I guess I can let it pass since you're a vizard and who knows.

ability 1: kay

ability 2: ew damage mod. ew epidermis! lol. Oh well, nothing is really wrong with it so its okay.

attack: fine

vizard attack: lol rocket punch. alright.


Duo - approved

form: fine

ability 1: fine

ability 2: fine, as long as you do what i said before and remember that you have to be able to physically strike the attack, no punching out area effects etc.

ability 3: ugh atoms. what is with you ppl. lol. alright, its fine now.

vizard attack: kay



Ulq - resubmit

form: why are you saying 'the user'? you're the only person who is ever gonna use your kai xD Anywas... At shikai level, remote control abilities can't be included as a part of the form and must take up an ability slot, so you've got some restructuring to do here and one of your other abilities is gonna have to go.

ability 1: the user again.. o__O just say your character's name, it makes it easier to read.

the chart you made for breaking out doesn't make any sense, for various reasons. since you are paying 5% of your rei to make the prison, let's just say it can take damage up to a value of 10% of your rei before it breaks on the first turn, and up to 5% worth on successive turns. or something. you have to resubmit anyway so you can think about it. basically, don't base it on a percentage of the opponent's rei. its got to be your own.

ability 2: same thing as with the first abiility. how are these really different?


attack: theusertheusertheuser ugh dont do that! haha. hmm its gaara.

the chart here is kind of redundant.

if you explode the shards, what happens to your zanpakutou? it's a bunch of dust?


vizard attack: okay, common problem here. The rage you spend should always be greater than the emptiness you gain, otherwise you will have no way to stave off going nuts in mask mode. use 10% rage, 5% emptiness or somesuch.

the part about spending rei to lessen the damage is weird and you should take that out.


HG - resubmit

your char wears a suit...? I didn't know that was allowed D: uhm, anyways.
this is really confusing and i'm not gonna really review the abilities until you clean it up. Like i can hardly read it at all in this format. there's too many different categories. just show me the form, plus attack/ability 1, 2, and 3 in clearly delineated sections. indenting things and putting stuff in quote boxes is not so helpful.

you only get one form in shikai by default, if you want different forms they take up an ability slot and you might be able tie it in with an ability in some cases, but these aren't seperate categories.

the third ability/form/whatever this is, its ridiculous and confusing and needs to be totally scrapped and replaced with something else.


also a heads up to a couple of you that i didn't get to yet: please don't put stuff behind spoiler tags in your submission, it just makes an extra hassle for me and it's super annoying. thanks!
actually, extra formatting in general is a nuisance to me and I prefer if you don't do anything apart from putting the headers of categories in bold and spacing out the paragraphs in an appropriate fashion. mmm.

 

[Kago]

Shikai:​

Name:
Hishou Masurao


Release Command:
Zendou wo miseru, Hishou Masurao
("Show me the righteous path, Hishou Masurao!")


Manifestation:
Masurao takes the form of a male peregrine falcon with emerald green eyes.

Element:
Wind

Form:

After speaking the release command, Kago's zanpakutou glows an emerald color and transforms into the form of a jian. The hilt of zanpakutou is emerald while the guard is midnight black. The length of the blade is just slightly shorter than the normal length of a jian for quicker strikes and more agile movements.

Ability: Duplicate

The blade of the zanpakutou glows a bright emerald green and separates into multiple, individual blades. Since his shikai is a wind based, it manipulates the spirit particles in the air to suspend the blades over Kago's shoulders. For each blade that Kago creates, he must use 2% reiatsu to create each one with a maximum of five blades out at a time (not including the blade on his jian). However, after hitting 5,000 connection, the number of blades increasing to seven and increases to a maximum of ten blades at 10,000 connection.

Kago can control the blades with his mind and use them to either block minor attacks or send them flying at his opponents like missiles.

Attack: Five pointed star shield

This attack requires that Kago creates all five blades using duplicate. By forcing the flat part of the blades toward the enemy and the points outward from the center, he can connect the blades using spirit particles and kidou to form a shield within the five blades.

To create and sustain this shield, Kago must use five percent (5%) of his reiatsu. Any attack less than this amount is blocked. If an attack is greater than this amount, the damage inflicted by the attack is reduced by this amount.

Attack: Bladed Wind Vortex

Using ten percent (10%) of his reiatsu, Kago can create a vortex by circling his suspended blades. The five blades constantly spin within the tornado, attacking any enemies that enter it. The emerald-eyed shinigami can control the tornado with his free arm or allow it to move unpredictably on its own.

Because of its high reiatsu cost, the attack lasts only five turns, after which the tornado dissipates.

 

[Code of the Noble]

Shikai

Zanpakutou Name: Ouritsu Tatsujin “Royal Master”

Shikai Command: Sentan wo Hiraku, Ouritsu Tatsujin “Take up arms, Royal Master”

Spirit: Ouritsu Tatsujin stands about 6 ft and takes the form of an elf. She has long bluish white hair with a pale blue skin tone. Ouritsu Tatsujin wears a deep "V" neck sheer gown covering her entire body that has splits on both sides near the legs. She speaks with a sultry toned voice that echoes softly through the area.

Spirit Home:

Ref Pic

Form: Senesati’s zanpakutou does not change form in Shikai.

Zanpakutou Base: Kidou

Ability: Iryoku "Will Power"

Upon release of his zanpakutou, Senesati forms an invisible layer of reiatsu around his entire body. This coat grants resistance to injury and temperature extremes, slows down injury deterioration and also allows him to deflect or neutralize some attacks. Even though this ability grants him moderate protection he is still able to experience pain. This ability costs 5% reiatsu to activate in addition to that, the ability costs an additional 1% reiastu for every turn it remains active, with the exception of the first 2 turns.

Senesati can only perform the deflection ability a max of six times. To overpower this ability one must exceed Senesati's expended reiatsu cost (5% for the form 'initally accounted for' + the expended reiatsu, which is equal to 1% reiatsu times the number of turns shikai has been active).


After the deflection ability has exhausted, Senesati will receive less damage for the remainder of the kai, depending on the strength of the attack. The damage is lessened by the amount of reiatsu expended over time. The longer the ability has been active the lesser the amount of damage he receives.

Attack: Ifu "Abandonment"

A technique that strikes with the force of Senesati's spent reiatsu. It produces an invisible slice from his zanpakutou that gradually travels over a course of 50 feet at a high rate of speed. Ifu is only visible from the ground as a spark leads the trail. The area of the attack is very narrow (about as thick as the cutting side of an unreleased zanpakutou) and can be as high as 20 feet. This attack costs 200 reiatsu. The strength of this attack equals (200 + the expended reiatsu, which is 1% reiatsu times the number of turns the shikai has been active).

Ability: Ikioi Shihai "Force Domination"

At the cost of 200 reiatsu per summon. Using his own reiatsu, Senesati is able summon up to 15 balls of energy the size of basketballs. The balls are not visible nor are they tangible until being move or used by him. This summon can be used to repel and attack enemies. Senesati is able to control the whereabouts of this ability for no extra cost in reiatsu. He can also combine the energy balls to produce stronger results.

Note: The summons stay near Senesati and become visible only when they are moved or used for attacking. Once a ball is used, it can only be restored by summoning another one for the normal cost. When hidden they do no harm to the opponent nor can the opponent harm them. Once this ability combines with another, it cannot come apart.

 

[Tenchra]

Shikai

Name: Silver Jardinero (Gardener)

Release Command: “Let's tend to the fields, Jardinero”

Manifestation: Jardinero takes the form of an elderly man, wearing overalls and a pair of muddy boots. He holds himself up with a hoe. His skin is wrinkled but the presence of muscle can still be seen. He wears a large stray hat to keep the sun away from his eyes, which are hidden behind a pair of glasses.

Element:Heat

Form: Jardinero's form is a pair of bracer, that have a black spade extending from them over each hand. The sides of the spades are sharpened. The edges of the spades are golden in color. The bracers themselves have golden patterns over them. The tops of the spades have the same mark as Jhone has on his wrists and the back of his neck, but these marks glow Red.

Attack: “Chains of Defeat”

Jhone spends 10% reiatsu to place a chain bracelet around each of his opponents ankles. They last for 10 turns, or until the opponent breaches their maximum distance of effect. The maximum distance Jhone can cast these chains is at a distance equal to his hohou/20 out to a maximum of 300ft. The chains deal damage based on how far the opponent is away from Jhone. The maximum range the chains effect is equal to the distance he can cast them. The feeling ranges from getting pricked by needles to the feeling of dozens of tiny little blades ripping open your skin. The pain increases as the target gets further away, and decreases as they get closer.

Attack: “Heat of Battle”

Jhone spends 300 reiatsu to begin the charging of his blades. His blades charge 5% heat energy a turn, until it reaches 100%. During any attack he can use 10% of this heat energy to cause a blast of heat to erupt forward from the tip of his spade three from him in a cone effect. The This blast is impossible to fully block unless you were totally covered, by a shield or something similar. Every time he releases a blast of heat, he uses an additional 1% of his reiatsu. While this ability is active, the blades absorb fire and heat based damage. thus reducing the damage taken by these effects and charging up an additional 5% immediately.

Vizard Attack: “Burning Soul”

While masked, Jhone can show his enemies the true destructive force of heat. Like a fire, heat is more dangerous by the source. By using his speed and hand to hand abilities, Jhone gets close to his enemies and latches on to them by means of choke holds and what not. While attached Jhone can concentrate the energy built up in his spades and create an explosive force. By spending 20% Rage , 40% heat energy and gaining 5% Emptiness. Jhone focuses the energy spent into a condensed ball of extreme heat, he can then release said ball causing an explosion 10 yards in diameter. Jhone can increase the force of this explosion by spending an additional 5% heat energy.

The force is so powerful it flash fries, plant life and small critters unfortunate enough to get caught in the blast. Trees and other things do not catch fire because they are instantly turned to ash. The blast also causes slight damage to Jhone himself, the backlash damage increases with every use of it. Those strong enough to not be instantly fried, feel as if they were being cremated. They receive third degree burns, bruises and such from the concussive force of the blast.

 

[xero_ghost]

Zanpakuto: Arashikage

Shi Kai Command: Crash Arashikage.

Shi Kai Form: The blade disappears for a moment after being unsealed, before becoming an opaque black.

Abilities:

1) Kagemori: Arashikage's ability gives Taizen the use of the shadows in his attacks on his enemies. By placing his sword against a shadow, Taizen can use his reishi to turn any shadows within his sight into an a copy of his own blade, allowing him to attack with up to a maximum of five shadow lances simultaneously.

[ To make the shadows tangible, Taizen must use 100 Reiatsu per lance created ]


Ban Kai: Arashikage Arechi

Form/Ability: Arashikage's Ban Kai heightens Taizen's control of the shadows to a level that can only be called mastery. Allowing him to not only control the size and shape of the shadows in the area, giving him complete awareness of everything that happens within its range, as well as the ability to freely use the shadows as gateways to move himself around the battlefield.

Attack 1: Kagemore Rindou
The limits placed on the Kagemori are loosened in Ban Kai, giving Taizen the strength needed to create upwards to 50 lances in a single attack.
[ Same cost as Kagemori ]

Attack 2: [ Name to be created soon ]
By infusing the shadows at his enemies feet with his reiatsu Taizen can force the shadows to stick to his enemy wherever they choose to go inside his range to slow their speed for as long as his ban kai remains active.
[ Cost: 3% of Taizens total reiatsu. Speed Reduction: 6% of Taizen's maximum reiatsu ]

Attack 3:
Surrounding the edge of his blade with his own reiatsu, Taizen is able to use this energy to interfere with his enemies ability to concentrate their reiatsu. Hindering their destructive power and their defences by 10% for 5 rounds after being hit by Taizens blade.
[ Cost: 1% per round activated ]

 

[louhi]

alriiight. here goes.

week 49
​

j - since i got too frustrated im just send you to moot from now on. srry

here's his statment:

mootiman (10:29:48 PM): he added an ability to cut through anything in the form
mootiman (10:29:50 PM): that is no
mootiman (10:29:57 PM): just reject it without even going any further
mootiman (10:30:08 PM): he's had this problem before so don't even bother with the rest
mootiman (10:30:19 PM): It should be noted, since Essential is a constant outpouring of raw energy, it merely passes through objects and either obliterates or debilitates them based on the ability/attacks listed below. Thus, regardless of the consequences of those effects, Essential suffers no resistance when contacting matter or energy of any sort



hurri - edit & resubmit


form - fine

ability - i think it's really cool but.... maybe too much

one option is making the healing process more gradual instead of instant (like he regenerates over the course of the next turns depending on the severity of his wounds etc, so a crazy injury might need the timer to go off twice before it gets healed all the way or something) basically just think of how fast you heal stuff in shikai and like triple the speed or w/e
other one iiiiis limit it to one use per 10k conn with a cap of like... 3 i guess

with the cost you should also generate 15% emptiness.

attack - attack is fine. the cost is up to you, probably around 10-20% of rei is what you would want right


branchi - fix and resubmit

please dont use spoiler tags on your submission. kthx

and no, the shield still does not work. i think its best if you just use the 5% stat boost to resistance instead. (this should not have any cost in rei)

I still dont understand the chart you used in your third ability and i'm pretty sure i told you the same thing and said not to include the chart the last time i reviewed it. ><


chapter17 - approved with changes

form: its fine but take out this line "they are very hard to heal and impossible to stitch shut." it's kind of iffy since #1 pretty much anything can be stitched shut, don't they even stitch up ppl after they're mauled by dogs? #2 we have special magical healing and such and something that resists against that particularly becomes an ability on its own

ability 1: giant paragraph with a billion things going on D: too much for one ability, and the fire resistance thing is too strong anyway.

so just drop this part- "While his blade is lit, Vincent can repel or block any fire based attacks, dependent on the users reiatsu. <50% of Vincent's reiatsu allows him to deflect the attack (even back at the user); 51% to 125% of Vincent's reiatsu can be blocked and neutralized; over 125% of Vincent's reiatsu the attack is unaffected." and you can keep the rest

and just have it cost 1% for five turns every time, none of that .5% business. dealing in half of a percent is kind of dumb.


ability 2: another giant paragraph arrhhrhhh

you can break these things up you know!!!!

anyways its basically fine except for the part about the lines being immune to all attack. you also have a penchant for making up needlessly complicated costs but its also a lot of effort for me to simplify it for you so we'll just leave it i spose.

change it so that any attack with a value greater than the 3% of your rei directed at the lines can break it.


attack -

just leave the blast radius as 5 ft
also take out the part about reigniting for .5%.





crys - resubmit


k i gotta say this, the formatting bugs the hell out of me T__T
why is the word silvery in gray? i know what color silver is!!! gosh. also there are all these words in quote marks and i'm not sure why. when you say 'visible' and 'air' it implies you don't just mean visible or air in the ordinary sense.... then what? D: oh well. i'm just sayin its kind of obnoxious.

ability 1: i don't know why you titled it "specific" but anyways its an ability.

also not sure what you're getting at with the bold stuff here but uhhh its fine i guess. note that even if you're using the wind to fly around, you can't use it to exceed the speed you're normally capable of.

ability 2: op we've switched from random bolding to random italics. okey doke.

for the numbers im pretty sure you must have meant harmony/1000 because harmony/100 is ridiculous and insane and no way approvable
for the cost .05% is even dumber than .5% and no. if you want it to be something small, use a flat cost. i'm not sure why you would want to do that though, cause something that weak will just bounce off and do nothing to anybody close to your own strength rly. if it's a percentile you can't do this 'current' business cause the blades would get cheaper as you're running out of rei and that makes no sense.

ability 3: shield abilities are like moot's department so here is his words.

mootiman (10:59:04 PM): im not sure i like the shield but its almost workable
mootiman (10:59:10 PM): oh wait
mootiman (10:59:12 PM): no its not really
mootiman (10:59:20 PM): since if he pays equal to nullify an attack
mootiman (10:59:24 PM): if he has higher rei
mootiman (10:59:32 PM): he can literally cancel a person into winning
mootiman (10:59:38 PM): if he has even one drop of rei more
mootiman (10:59:45 PM): provided the guy uses projectiles but still
mootiman (10:59:56 PM): if a person cant even get close to him due to his first ability
mootiman (10:59:59 PM): that is a likely scenario
mootiman (11:00:00 PM): and gay

so.. its out i guess.


finny - approved


lambo - resubmit

form: a zanpakutou is a zanpakutou. how breakable they are depends on how strong the user is compared to what's hitting the zan, so take out all of that 'nearly unbreakable' stuff.

ability 1: shield again so here's what moot says

mootiman (11:03:19 PM): well okay his barrier is patently broken
mootiman (11:03:50 PM): basically if he has lower but not too low of someoens stats
mootiman (11:04:04 PM): he completely can negate anything with 5% of his rei
mootiman (11:04:06 PM): that is retarded


so that's a no.


ability 2: its fine except raise the cost to 2% and the rei lost by the victim everyother turn is an amount equal to 1% of okita's rei, not 1% of their own

vizard attack: this reads like a bankai attack and isn't really workable at all. shikai attacks just dont take on this kind of scale (or cost). basically if you blow through a ton of rei in shikai you won't have anything left when you go bankai andyou will be screwed. attacks in shikai should center around the weapon or the user and won't exceed a range of about 50ft.



kago - approved

form: fine

ability: fine, but you might want to lower the cost. 1% would be fine

shield: fine

attack: cut the cost down to 5%, otherwise its fine.

 

[Leitmotif]

Blah - what's the point? A magical great faq solves this, I guess.

Will re-submit something later. Oh, the irony of it all...

VoilÁ  :

Eiyuugouketsu "" Warrior of Matchless Valor

State in which Takanori's mastery over wind, and consequently the threat he poses to his enemies, is greatly enhanced. Visual confirmations of the awakening activation are a convergence of massive quantities of wind around the young man, as well as the sudden change of his irises to a silvery color. Of course, battle shouts from the youth are ensued, as per usual...

"¢ Ability Un: Sphere of Influence

The definite range of effect of all abilities concerning Takanori's Awakening. Manipulation of air via mental and visual mediums, allowing him to interfere with said substance in any way he sees fit "" as long it doesn't cause direct harm to another player "" without any kind of additional cost.

The sphere's length is measured by the formula [ Harmony / 1000 = X in feet ], which defines its radius "" ability caps at 100 feet.

The act of flying is possible, though the speed and mobility of such will never exceed the possibilities of Takanori's Agility stat.

"¢ Ability Deux: Hack "˜n Slash

Using his mastery over the wind within his sphere of influence, Takanori automatically augments all his attacks with a layer of deadly sharp gusts of compressed wing "" adding a much-appreciated cutting ability to all his moves.

Passive ability that requires a cost of 1% of his total reiatsu per turn after entering awakening mode.

"¢ Ability Trois: Pale Half Moon

By expending 3% of his reiatsu, Takanori can create a pale white, half-moon shaped projectile at any point of his influence range (see ability Un) at any given time. There are no gestures or prior preparation needed to activate the ability, the single will for the projectile to manifest is enough.

The summoned weapon of thin air follows a set routine of seeking and destroying anything, within the influence range, that is deemed an enemy to its master. While it searches for enemies, the projectile cannot avoid destroying whatever stands on its path, even if said obstacle happens to be an ally.

Takanori can seize control of the projectile, though that prevents him from using any other ability of his awakening "" including manifesting another projectile.

Each projectile has roughly one meter in length; no more than two can be created simultaneously at any given time.

A projectile can be extinguished by a force equal or greater than the one used on its creation "" be it another kind of attack, or the simple natural defense of another spiritual being.

----> Extension "" Vermillion Full Moon

When two projectiles are manifested, Takanori can spend another 500 points of reiatsu to link them together, creating "" figuratively "" a full moon of sorts. There's no added power to the attack, however, this enables the young man to summon yet another pair of projectiles. Aesthetically, the connected halves assume a blood red coloration as soon as the full moon is formed.

Maximum number of full moon(s) at any given time is two.​

 

[Kishyotai]

Whurps I realized that the clarifications/distinctions I wanted to make in my kai were never approved. Bolded text is all that's changed from the original, approved draft. Beth, if you want the bold removed lemme know.

[ Douten Setsumei Amaji ]
An Event Which Shakes Heaven, Fate Cutter, Path Through the Heavens

[ Form / Ability ]

Setsumei Amaji's blade, in the flash of light, materializes into a spear. The shaft of the spear is made of an earthy reddish material, exquisitely detailed in gold with pictures of an eagle becoming a phoenix while beset by attacks from dragons. The spear, which combines characteristics of a qiang and a su yari, has a blade which seems to be made of diamond or a similarly transparent crystal; a light seems to be trapped in the crystal, making it a weak source of illumination. Additionally, the spear has a flowing crimson red tassel with gold trim hanging from the pommel.

The spear is very difficult to handle, and Masato's ability to use the spear is dictated by his ability to use the kai in general "" but when mastered, the spear affords incredible maneuverability and striking power.

This is just the corporeal form of Douten Setsumei Amaji. The true power of the release lies within the unspeakable amounts of hakyuukouka "" the chaotic energy that propelled Masato's shi kai "" that floods the area surrounding Masato. The range of the field is vast, a radial range of 1.5 meters per 1k Connection (max attained at kai mastery).

Within this range, the spear (and to a lesser extent, Masato's body) acts as a catalyst for chaos within the area. Any movement can, at Masato's whim, send a wave of hakyuukouka crashing towards the enemy (the different types of strikes one can make with a spear define the "˜shape' of the wave "" the different amount of force Masato uses also defines how much potential of the energy he uses). The chaotic energy in this form is a tidal wave of colliding reiatsu currents "" thus, not only does it apply pressure as a force, but it also cuts opponents with compounding arbitrarily-pathed lacerations (the wave is full of small cutting currents - it seems as if the wave eats away at any substance it touches that doesn't have sufficient resistance). The speed of the wave and it's cutting power relies on Masato's Zanjutsu (and thus, the opponent's Zanjutsu is a decisive factor in their ability to parry it), while the crashing force of the wave depends on Masato's current Reiatsu (and thus, the opponent's current Reiatsu dictates natural resistance to the chaotic force). Even an opponent of similar Reiatsu and Zanjutsu to Masato will suffer a strong pushing force with considerable cutting potential - weaker opponents will naturally be cut and/or pushed more while stronger opponents will be cut and/or pushed less.

The wave of chaos functions much like a wave of liquid "" crashing into any barrier, and wrapping around obstructions with limited width. When the wave reaches the end of the kai's range, the energy fizzles and dissipates almost immediately "" leaving nothing but an area with warmer temperature.

This manipulation of hakyuukouka costs Masato 2% of his Reiatsu per turn that the hakyuukouka is affected "" energy required to start the chain reactions that drive the chaos. Additionally, as the waves become more intense, the random agitation of the hakyuukouka becomes more visible in the air "" at high levels of manipulation, the air appears slightly "˜foggy' as if one was looking through steam. Masato can choose to make less 'intense' chaos within the waves, weakening them - this doesn't change the cost of manipulation per turn. Only an opponent of considerably higher Zanjutsu or Reiatsu (2-2.5x) will be able to detect the wave's general location and speed by instinct.​

 

[Tizzle]

[So Paul has forced me to man up and grow a pair and I'm going to have to say I think my post may have been forgotten so I'm posting it again. If it wasnt and was still bein worked on, forgive me for my arrogance. *bows And i tried to edit it so you would only have to read wuts neccessary. My old post was admittedly kinda wordy... >_>]

I'm scratching my old attack and replacing it with a new one, and I put the second ability (that was only a limiter on the first) as an extension for the first ability and added a cost to it. So now I just have one ability and and one attack. I feel im doing a very poor job of explaining this so.. if you need to refer to my old zan stuff its here http://bleachforums.com/showpost.php?p=794372&postcount=4 sorry...

[Ability 1 - Yassene Fanya]

The sphere essentially acts as conductor for Rokku and inside of the ball is a highly concentrated amount of his own reiatsu, effectively creating a powerful repulsive force that Rokku himself is immune to. This ability is always active and will release a “burst” of reiatsu onto anything it comes in contact with whether the zanpakutou is moving or not. This ability has no cost. (This is the extension part ->) Once Rokku has completed a much higher bond with his zanpakutou, he will be able to suppress the repulsive force that would otherwise always be at its maximum level of repulsion. Once Rokku reaches this state, he can control exactly how high the repulsive force actually is; all the way down to having no repulsive force at all. This does not mean that he can go over its maximum limit by any means either, this ability only limits. In order to accomplish this, every turn Rokku chooses to suppress Boruda’s repulsive force he must pay a cost of 1% his reiatsu.​

[Attack - Anga Dagnir]

Anga Dagnir is a technique that uses the power of simultaneous attacking rather than the steady wearing down of an opponent. By using the unique properties of Boruda’s sphere, this simultaneous like attack is achieved by continually “delaying” the effects of Yassene Fanya until they culminate into one single attack.

The attack is initiated the moment Rokku says the word “Anga” and he will lose 5% of his reiatsu. At this time, the effects of Yassene Fanya are nullified and will not give off reiatsu bursts as it comes into contact with anything; though this is only temporary. Rokku then has 30 seconds or a maximum of 3 (6 total) turns to complete this attack (whichever happens first. ex. can't write 5 turns even if the 30 seconds has not expired). During this time, anything that comes into contact with Boruda will show a subtle hint of gray on the area where the two objects met. This gray will stay there until the end of the attack’s time limit or unless the attack is set off prematurely by Rokku speaking the word “Dagnir”. Once either of these two things happen, all of the area’s that Boruda struck will feel the effects of Yassene Fanya simultaneously. This ability can be used a maximum of two times per battle, and during the 2nd time of activation Rokku only has a maximum of 2 turns or 10 seconds.
​

if i did anything gay, i apologize once again. thx beth

 

[FogOverLondon]

Kk Louhi-sama I'm just gonna submit the central ability of my kai until I think of a couple utility abilities or something. But the whole point of my kai is what I've got here. Simple. Easy. Tell me if I need to change it. *Huggles in advance!* Thaaaaaank yoooouuuuu!

Shikai

Name: Painkiller

Form: A simple scythe made of "spirit wood" with similar attributes as rattan or bamboo. Its outer edge also is sharp as well as the inner edge to make it more adapted for battle. The weapon's density is abnormal and weighs a almost a ton (Okita has never weighed it officially), most people can't even hold it much less wield it.

Sprit/Manifestation: A woman wearing a silver masquerade mask. Her body appears to be hidden beneath a pure white cloak. The cloak has fuzzy edges and hides her body but seems to act as her body as well shape shifting to her will. She always has a tiny blue swallow on her shoulder.

Ability 1: Allows Okita to lift and wield the scythe and shield properly and easily, since the shield is also incredibly dense. Costs 100 reiatsu per turn.

Ability 2: A round shield that looks like a stone lion's head. The shield is cast as a smaller version about 1.5 feet in diameter. When cast it can expand up to about 8 feet in diameter. Cost to cast/reiatsu put in is a flat 15%. Can only cast 3 times per battle. Okita can cast and not use it right away since he can control the size within the min/max limit the shield has and often times will cast early on and use a defend/attack strategy between his scythe and shield.

That's all I got, it's the main theme if you can call it that of my kai - defense. I may or may not try to come up with a utility ability for slot 3. Fanx again Louhi-sama.

 

[louhi]

week 50​

tenchra: take a read thru moot's FAQ, make some changes, and resubmit.
remember this is shikai, not bankai. I also feel like i should add that this release doesn't really fit with the freya theme. i suggest talking with desu about ideas if you havent already.

form: fine

attack 1: 10% is too expensive, 300 feet is way too big, 10 turns is way too long. theres also no explanation of how the chains actually get onto the opponent. do they shoot out of your spade hands or something? it shouldn't just magically appear

attack 2: the heat energy gauge over complicates things. you already have rage, reiatsu, and kidou to keep track of. plz dont add any more. just use a singular cost to release the heat blast right away. you also need to take out the part about being impossible to fully block. the fire absorbing also needs to go, unless you choose to make it a seperate ability.

vizard attack: again just drop the heat energy stuff and use a simple rei cost. you also need to remove this part: Those strong enough to not be instantly fried, feel as if they were being cremated. They receive third degree burns, bruises and such from the concussive force of the blast.

the degree of damage is already relative to your own rei vs the opponent and it doesn't need to be said. you cant add something like that to try and get around the fact that someone massively stronger just wont really be affected by the attack.


xero: approved


crys: dont b a snark

approved


kish: ehhh... not so much

dunno why the extra explanation are really necessary since most of it is just generally understood (rei dictates resistance....? for.. like every attack ever) but um anyways. you cant restrict te ability to parry only to zan. hak can parry zan attacks too and like i said, rei = resistance doesnt even need to be said. basically you're trying to make your attack stronger by adding this weird restrictions on what other people can do and it doesn't really work.

the number in the second part (2 - 2.5x) why is that even a range? its too high anyway. 1.5x if you must have it

basically the only parts of this you could keep are:

(the wave is full of small cutting currents - it seems as if the wave eats away at any substance it touches that doesn't have sufficient resistance). The speed of the wave and it's cutting power relies on Masato's Zanjutsu
while the crashing force of the wave depends on Masato's current Reiatsu (and thus, the opponent's current Reiatsu dictates natural resistance to the chaotic force). weaker opponents will naturally be cut and/or pushed more while stronger opponents will be cut and/or pushed less.

Masato can choose to make less 'intense' chaos within the waves, weakening them - this doesn't change the cost of manipulation per turn.



randombankai: edit and resubmit

form: fine

abilities: you are restricting yourself too much here. the cost are too high and your 1st and 3rd ability are the same - your weapon is creating a shockwave. just because you jump in one and are doing multiple hits in the other doesn't make them a different ability. all you really need is to make an ability that adds a shockwave effect to all of your attacks for a lump cost, regardless of how you are using it. you don't need to have 3 abilities- 2 is stronger anyway. the deflection ability is fine.


tizzle: approved



lambo: approved with changes

form: give some estimation of the weapon's size too. just the weight doesnt tell us that.

ability 1: doesnt need a cost

ability 2: way too expensive. i think i told you this before, but cost for something in shikai should't go above 5%

also, as a vizard its really important that you should have an attack that spends rage in shikai. without that it means you will be very limited in how long you can stay masked, or have to spam your caste abilities just to blow off rage.

 

[FogOverLondon]

Changed the kai so it reads a bit differently, but overall changed what you suggested first. I could say more but ... why? lol Thx a lot Beth ^^

Shikai


Name: Painkiller

Form: A simple scythe made of "spirit wood" with similar attributes as rattan or bamboo. Its outer edge also is sharp as well as the inner edge to make it more adapted for battle, making up for most stabbing moves it can't make like a spear. The scythe itself is tall, 7 feet tall actually; much different from a hand-held Kama, short scythe or chain scythe. This weapon is wielded more like a bo-staff.

The weapon's density is abnormal and weighs several tons (Okita has never weighed it officially but it's definitely over 5), most people can't even hold it much less wield it.

Sprit/Manifestation: A woman wearing a silver masquerade mask. Her body appears to be hidden beneath a pure white cloak leaving only her head visible. The cloak has soft fur trim and hides her body but seems to also act as her body as well shape shifting to her will. She always has a tiny blue swallow on her shoulder.

Ability 1: Allows Okita to lift and wield the scythe properly and easily. It also does the same for his 2-ton-each floating shields, negating the need for him to expend reiatsu to control them so he can control them with his will alone.

Ability 2: A floating round shield that looks like a stone lion's head; the shield uses Okita as a center unless otherwise commanded by his will. The shield is cast as a smaller version about 1.5 feet in diameter. When blocking an attack it can expand up to about 8 feet in diameter.

Cost to cast/reiatsu put in is a flat 5%. Okita must sacrifice his ability to attack in the same turn if he uses it to actually block, otherwise it just floats around him; he can still be mobile but can't attack until the next turn. Can only cast 3 times in a battle.

Ability 3: Okita can duplicate his shield using the same cost as the original. The maximum number of shields Okita can create is 3 (total). Can only duplicate an existing shield, meaning he can't duplicate a shield more times than he can create one, and the nullifying ability can't stack. The only real use of this ability is to shield his allies or himself from more than one side.

Vizard Attack: This allows Okita to detonate his shields like bombs, covering a radius almost double their maximum diameter; so between 12-15 feet. He's not immobile and he can still attack since he's not using his shields to nullify. Additionally using the shields like bombs cannot harm Okita if he gets caught in a blast. The act of detonating a single shield expends 10% Rage and 100 reiatsu, gaining him 5% Emptiness. Or for all three shields expends 30% Rage, 300 reiatsu, and gains 15% Emptiness.

 

[Thusdus]

(O)Dajuan Washington {AH} Edited

Initial Release:Darkness' Embrace

Manifestation: Darkness in the immediate area gathers and collects on the ground around him and collects in a swirling pattern on his arms and upper body, like a large tattoo. To anyone except Dujuan these shadows are icy in nature, feeling as though they are somewhere between 30 and 15 degrees Fahrenheit.

Element:Shadow

Ability 1: Dajuan can create any type of ammunition with the shadows on his person or any shadow within 10 yards. For long-range offense, Dajuan can create an explosive projectile borne of darkness in the form of bullets or a single "grenade" For example, shadow-based bullets can be created inside of the chamber or magazine of any weapon for a cost of 50 reiatsu. He can only make 5 of these bullets per turn. On the other hand, Dajuan can also make up to two "grenades", but it costs 3% of his total reiatsu for each.Dajuan can also create shadow daggers for close quarters conflicts for 1% reiatsu each.

Ability 2: A big fan of silent hunting , Dajuan can cover his entire body with darkness. While Dajuan's body is immersed in shadow, he becomes completely invisible when in areas that have low light.

Ability 3: Pending.