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Release Submission Thread

Shi Kai release for my PC, Kakuto Suzaku. As a short explanation of things I'll say that the whole release is centered around the second ability (Oudoramei), so the first was written (I hope) as pretty limited.

[SIZE=+1][— Form —][/SIZE]
「茂る, 能管!」
[ “Shigeru, Nohken!” ]
“Grow Thickly, Bamboo Flute!”
Upon the release of the Zanpakutou its scabbard melts into the bottom of its hilt and the whole sword fuses into a single staff, spanning in length to roughly a head taller than its wielder. The wood itself exhibits a tight spiraling pattern all across with thin engraved lines distanced about two fingers between each other. The quarterstaff is actually hollow on the inside, though this trait does not diminish its impact power due to high density.

Confined within the body of the Zanpakutou is Suzaku’s own Reiatsu, which is used to fuel its two abilities; a relatively constant level of energy is left circulating inside by gradually drawing it from Suzaku when needed. This drain is passive and does not hamper Suzaku’s strength during battle to any measurable degree.

Being a melee weapon and used in conjunction with Suzaku’s hand-to-hand combat style, the shinigami’s prowess and skill in wielding Nohken are measured solely by his Hakuda stat.​


[SIZE=+1][— Abilities —][/SIZE]
猿臂
[ Enpi ]
“Monkey Elbow”
Innate in its nature is the quarterstaff’s ability to shrink, extend and bend in which ever direction Suzaku wishes; the turns are usually made in sharp angles and very suddenly, and the speed in which the staff alters its shape is directly proportional to Suzaku’s Hohou. The alterations are dependent of its wielder’s focus and will; thus, while it isn’t impossible to make the rod turn in a direction that does not match the body’s movements, it takes a great deal of training to achieve a satisfactory mastery over this skill.

The minimum length the staff can take is just enough to keep it concealed in a closed palm, with the maximum being twice its original size at first with an additional half every 1,000 points in Connection after the initial 1,000. These increments stop at 7,000 and roughly 8 meters.

Since the Zanpakutou continuously stores energy in itself, these changes don’t drain Suzaku’s stamina unless used frequently in a very short amount of time, in which case the amount of energy held within Nohken would dwindle. Indeed, any repetitive use of this trait that does not exceed the number of subsequent turns that have passed (given there were more than three) would not exhaust an amount of Reiatsu that is greater than what the Zanpakutou naturally draws from its wielder during battle. On the chance of breaking this limitation, a 200 Reiatsu penalty would incur on Suzaku, plus an additional 50 points to compensate for every subsequent transformation beyond the first four. This penalty takes effect after the sequence of transformations has ended.​


大銅鑼鳴
[ Oudoramei ]
“Great Gong Echo”
Nohken’s crown ability; it is built specifically to change the course of unbalanced battles in Suzaku’s favor, though its use can be as devastating to him as much as to his opponents.

By vibrating the energy kept inside the wooden staff after receiving a direct blow from an outside source and by utilizing the wood’s harmonious qualities, Nohken is able to supplement Suzaku’s strikes by adding an echo aftereffect to those that land. At the first stage, this echo is used simply to siphon some of the impact and combine it with Suzaku’s next strike, bolstering his potential attack power by roughly 10% of the channeled attack and creating a loud sound of a very sizeable bell or a gong ringing at the moment of impact.

At the second and more important stage, the vibrations within Nohken’s confinements carry on into the foe’s body much like they were a surface of water broken by a pebble; the area then inflicted with Oudoramei suffers from altering tides of Reiatsu flow which disrupt the normal conduct of the fight. This alteration of Reiatsu manipulation is beyond the foe’s control; in moments of low tide they will be unable to supply the sufficient energy required to execute maneuvers to their full extent (though the execution of which would still take place), and in moments of high tide their maneuvers would be unrestrainedly bombarded with unneeded amounts of Reiatsu, making them as powerful as they are dangerous and detrimental to their own user.

This second half of the ability is not without restrictions; following the blocked strike that initiates it in the first place, Nohken must successfully land a full hit on the foe’s body within a timeframe of one immediate turn for every 2,500 points in Connection with a maximum of three turns. Naturally, Suzaku must also be able to sustain the initial attack for the ability to kick off in the first place. Further more, Oudoramei cannot be used in battle unless Suzaku is in a clear and unbroken disadvantage against his enemy; this is the most important restriction.

Lastly, the part of the foe’s body that gets inflicted by Oudoramei also serves a role in its effects, limiting the scope of maneuvers that are affected by it:

  • Hands: Only the foe’s Hakuda and Zanjutsu (or equivalent stats) skills are affected.
  • Legs: Only the foe’s Hohou abilities (or an equivalent stat) are affected; this includes Shunpo, Hirenkyaku, Sonido, Jyanpo and any derived techniques.
  • Torso: Only the foe’s stamina and general Reiatsu manipulation (such as Reiki or Reiatsu Nohken) are affected. A Quincy’s accumulation capabilities are also affected.
  • Head: The majority of the foe’s abilities are affected, specifically large-scale Reiatsu manipulation and Kidou use.
Oudoramei can also affect energy manipulation outside those scopes in the case that the inflicted area takes part in an unrelated action. For example, a Kidou spell cast using the hands as mediums for Kidouryoku would be affected when the arms are inflicted with Oudoramei.

The effect itself only lasts for four turns; though enemies of double Suzaku’s Reiatsu are able to rid themselves of it in three and sometimes even two turns. Each use of Oudoramei drains the Reiatsu stored within Nohken, thus Suzaku must expend 5% of his Reiatsu to refill the Zanpakutou. Multiple uses of Oudoramei do not stack up on each other, the last one nullifying all those preceding it. The use of Enpi disables the use of Oudoramei.

At times of need, Suzaku is able to create the necessary vibrations within Nohken to initiate Oudoramei “manually”, only that by violating the restriction of a clear disadvantage to his foe, Suzaku must expend 10% of his Reiatsu as compensation and without any further benefits.​
 
Shikai
Release Phrase
"Crea Caos, DistorsiÁ³n" (Create Chaos, Distortion)

Manifestation
A boy who appears to be about 14 with short dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He stands about 5’7” and is dressed in blue jeans and a red t-shirt with the words ‘Caos es Paz’ in bold black lettering on the front.

Form
A plain and inconspicuous pair of silver knuckles. The only way they differ from a normal pair of knuckles is that they are longer and cover more of the fingers. In an unreleased state, DistorsiÁ³n’s form is no longer a blade. Instead, the unreleased form is a pair of brass knuckles, meaning the only real indication of shikai release aside from a rise in reiatsu is that the knuckles seem to change composition (Brass to silver).

Abilities
[Golpe del Fantasma] (Ghost Strike)​
Though DistorsiÁ³n is relatively unimpressive upon transformation, this tends to work as an advantage. In exchange for a small and simple form, DistorsiÁ³n itself can be very minutely manipulated but at an extremely rapid rate. The only way for an enemy to physically detect that the ability has been activated is the light humming noise that DistorsiÁ³n emits.

This ability does not enhance the power of physical attacks. When physical contact is made, the vibrations are transmitted to the recipient, which disrupts and damages the internal organs. This also causes a disorienting effect which lasts one turn, locking out the use of shunpo on the opponent's following turn. This abililty can only remain in effect for four consecutive turns before the opponent gains a one turn immunity.

Every 6000 connection gained, the disorientation works for another turn, up to three total turns it can be effective.

[Frecuencia Gemela] (Twin Frequency)​

The best way to stop an attack is to put an equal but opposite force against it. Because performing such a feat in the heat of battle is nigh impossible, Duo has found another way to accomplish this task. Instead of being exact, he can overcompensate to ensure that an attack is nullified. By injecting 1.5x the reiatsu required to cast a kidou or use an energy based ability, Duo is able to cancel that attack so long as he strikes it.

Lazo DestrucciÁ³n(Bond Destruction)​

Through a combination of DistorsiÁ³n's passive ability and forcibly injecting reiatsu into a solid object, Duo is able to skew and in some cases destroy the bonds between atoms of certain substances. By expending 5% of his reiatsu and striking the ground in front of him, he can cause the ground to explode in a cone with an angle of 45 degrees.

Vizard Ability[Golpe del EspÁ­ritu Vengativo] (Strike of the Vengeful Spirit)​
By expending 5% rage and gaining 5% emptiness, for one attack, Golpe del Fantasma's striking power is doubled.

(I'll probably be explaining my third ability a bit more tomorrow, but I'm tired right now)
 
After looking at my shikai one attack isn't what I originally had planned for it so I'm resubmitting it with a change:

Old Version

Attack: Discordia's Nocturne

At the cost of 3% reiatsu and by running his hand over the length of the blade, Torai can gather and condense the sound waves coming off of the blade into a ball about the size of a baseball. After creating the ball, it appears as a highly warped shimmering area of air, clearly visible to anyone even at great distances. The sphere will retain its shape for an indefinite amount of time, but as soon as Torai snaps his fingers the ball violently releases its energy causing a small explosion within a one foot radius of where it is. This allows it to be thrown and placed without worrying when it might go off. A maximum of three spheres can be active at any one time though all explode on a single snap.



Attack: Discordia's Nocturne

At the cost of 1% reiatsu and by running his hand over the length of the blade, Torai can gather and condense the sound waves coming off of the blade into a ball about the size of a baseball. After creating the ball, it appears as a highly warped shimmering area of air, clearly visible to anyone even at great distances. The sphere will retain its shape for an indefinite amount of time, but as soon as Torai snaps his fingers the ball violently releases its energy causing a small explosion within a six inch radius of where it is. This allows it to be thrown and placed without worrying when it might go off. A cost of 5% reiatsu must be paid for the balls to retain their shape if they are kept out longer than one turn, regardless of whether it is a single orb or five of them. A maximum of five spheres can be active at any one time though all explode on a single snap.

Explaination
Alright the new change sports a lower cost and higher number of balls, because this attack was originally supposed a mass technique. However the original attack's cost was way too high to be of any use for this. To compensate the range of the tech has now been reduced and the cost of keeping the balls has been upped to encourage quick useage so the attack just doesn't sit around.
 
I wanted to change the way the speed and damage are calculated, so I tweaked it a bit. Bolded sentences are the only changed ones (no changes to the attacks). Also I wanted to clear up the effect of the wave crashing into something.

[ Douten Setsumei Amaji ]
An Event Which Shakes Heaven, Fate Cutter, Path Through the Heavens

[ Form / Ability ]

Setsumei Amaji’s blade, in the flash of light, materializes into a spear. The shaft of the spear is made of an earthy reddish material, exquisitely detailed in gold with pictures of an eagle becoming a phoenix while beset by attacks from dragons. The spear, which combines characteristics of a qiang and a su yari, has a blade which seems to be made of diamond or a similarly transparent crystal; light seems to be trapped in the crystal, making it a weak source of illumination. Additionally, the spear has a flowing crimson red tassel with gold trim hanging from the pommel.

The spear is very difficult to handle, and Masato’s ability to use the spear is dictated by his ability to use the kai in general – but when mastered, the spear affords incredible maneuverability and striking power.

This is just the corporeal form of Douten Setsumei Amaji. The true power of the release lies within the unspeakable amounts of hakyuukouka – the chaotic energy that propelled Masato’s shi kai – that floods the area surrounding Masato. The range of the field is vast, a radial range of 1.5 meters per 1k Connection (max attained at kai mastery).

Within this range, the spear (and to a lesser extent, Masato's body) acts as a catalyst for chaos within the area. Any movement can, at Masato’s whim, send a wave of hakyuukouka crashing towards the enemy (the different types of strikes one can make with a spear define the ‘shape’ of the wave – the different amount of force Masato uses also defines how much potential of the energy he uses). The chaotic energy in this form is a tidal wave of colliding reiatsu currents – thus, not only does it apply pressure as a force, but it also cuts opponents with compounding arbitrarily-pathed lacerations (the wave is full of small cutting currents - it seems as if the wave eats away at any substance it touches). The speed of the wave and it's cutting power relies on Masato's Zanjutsu (and thus, the opponent's Zanjutsu is a decisive factor in their ability to parry it), while the force of the wave depends on Masato's current Reiatsu (and thus, the opponent's current Reiatsu dictates natural resistance to chaotic attack - following is a table with basic effects ouitlined).

Opponent's Reiatsu/Zanjutsu : Masato's Reiatsu/Zanjutsu - Effect*
1 : 5 - Fatal crashing force / very deep lacerations.
1 : 2 - Crushing power / penetrating cuts.
1 : 1 - A very strong force / considerable cutting potential if not mitigated.
1 : 1.5 - Pushing force / marginal cutting strength.
1 : 2 - Mediocre force / small lacerations.
1 : 5 - Small pushing force / thin abraisons.

The wave of chaos functions much like a wave of liquid – crashing into any barrier, and wrapping around obstructions with limited width. When the wave reaches the end of the kai’s range, the energy fizzles and dissipates almost immediately – leaving nothing but an area with warmer temperature.

This manipulation of hakyuukouka costs Masato 2% of his Reiatsu per turn that the hakyuukouka is affected – energy required to start the chain reactions that drive the chaos. Additionally, as the waves become more intense, the random agitation of the hakyuukouka becomes more visible in the air – at high levels of manipulation, the air appears slightly ‘foggy’ as if one was looking through steam. Only an opponent of considerably higher Zanjutsu or Reiatsu (2-2.5x) will be able to detect the wave's general location and speed by instinct.

The table is set up so that
the first 'effect' is a comparison
of Reiatsu while the second is
a comparison of Zanjutsu. The
two effects are not related, the
table is just compressed to cut
down on size and words.​
 
Bankai attack:

note: After a quick talk with Desu I made a couple of minor changes, but since I doubt this has been looked over for approval yet I don't see the need to highlight them. IM me if you need.

Invisible Shadows

The principle underlying this attack is similar to his shikai's ability - namely the use of wind to generate blades with which to attack opponents. However, in bankai the power of the attack increases exponentially allowing him to generate the strikes without the need to swing his blade.

By concentrating his mind Orpheus can launch attacks, similar in power and effect as swinging his blade, upon any opponent within ten meters. Each attack costs 2% of his reiatsu, is completely invisible and acts, for all intents and purposes, as a normal sword swing. If he wishes Orpheus can choose to make any blow come at the speed of a shunpo, adding a further 3% to the cost.

Orpheus can launch as many attacks as he desires in one turn, but every attack over the third costs double. Furthermore, he doesn't need to be looking at a target to launch the attack, he just has to be aware of their location.
 
Sora Kunshu Junshiko 空君主 (Sky Sovereign Junshiko)


Release Stage
When Kuroshin says the words “Ban Kai”, he lets his zanpakutou go and allows it to spin in the air. Eventually, the spinning becomes so fast that the sword appears to become a golden disk. After a very bright shine, that appearance slowly morphs into a reality.


Release Form
Junshiko quickly transforms from a kodachi-shaped blade into a large, gold circular shield that is 25 meters (82 ft) in diameter. It has 24 wavy blades encircling its perimeter. Sometimes, an effeminate set of eyes appear on the shield, reflecting the zanpakutou’s current mood. The shield floats around independently of Kuroshin, obeying his commands.

Picture:
junshiko-bankai.jpg

Ability
As a side effect of Junshiko’s new form, it instantly becomes daytime at any location that is within 300 yards of Sora Kunshu Junshiko’s current location. This daylight is only perceptible by spiritual beings; ordinary humans and animals will still only see a night sky. And, of course, if it’s already daytime when this occurs, there’s no change. Either way, while Sora Kunshu Junshiko is activated, sunlight increases Kuroshin's kidou stat by 45%.

Attacks
Solarha 刃 (Solar Blade)
For 3% of Kuroshin’s total reiatsu, the wavy blades that surround Sora Kunshu Junshiko can be released and shot forward as a projectile that homes in on a specific target. The blades both pierce and burn whatever they touch. Sora Kunshu Junshiko can fire as many of the 24 blades as needed, although the reiatsu cost still complies for each one. Firing all of the blades costs Kuroshin a grand total of 72% reiatsu. After being fired, it takes one full turn to regenerate a blade. (As the bankai grows in strength, I wish to increase the number of blades that regenerate.) Kuroshin may also retrieve the blades and use them as a melee weapon.

Kousoku 光速
(Lightspeed)
For 500 reiatsu, added onto the usual cost of shunpo, Kuroshin can use sunlight to power up his shunpo. This advanced step surrounds Kuroshin with a white fiery aura that will leave a trail of white flame where Kuroshin goes. Anything he touches will be scorched, and he can focus the aura in front to act as a blazing battering ram.

Vizard Attack
Choushinsei 超新星(Supernova)
Expending 25% Rage, 10% Reiatsu and gaining 10% Emptiness, Sora Kunshu Junshiko can cause an explosion at any single point within 300 yards. The explosion extends 10 meters and cannot harm Kuroshin, unless the explosion clashes with another energy-based attack.
 
I'm scratching my old attack and replacing it with a new one, and I put the second ability (that was only a limiter on the first) as an extension for the first ability and added a cost to it.

[Ability 1]
"Yassene Fanya"
(Beyond the Veil)
Boruda itself is a manifestation that represents looking beyond the surface to see a true identity underneath the exterior. This is translated into Boruda’s Sphere while it is in zanpakutou form. The sphere is located at the “tip” of this blunt weapon and is not easily mistaken for any other part of the zanpakutou. The sphere essentially acts as conductor for Rokku and inside of the ball is a highly concentrated amount of his own reiatsu, effectively creating a powerful repulsive force that Rokku himself is immune to. This ability is always active and will release a “burst” of reiatsu onto anything it comes in contact with whether the zanpakutou is moving or not. This ability has no cost.

Extension: Once Rokku has completed a much higher bond with his zanpakutou, he will be able to suppress the repulsive force that would otherwise always be at its maximum level of repulsion. Once Rokku reaches this state, he can control exactly how high the repulsive force actually is; all the way down to having no repulsive force at all. This does not mean that he can go over its maximum limit by any means either, this ability only limits. In order to accomplish this, every turn Rokku chooses to suppress Boruda’s repulsive force he must pay a cost of 1% his reiatsu.

[Attack]
"Anga Dagnir"
(Iron Bane)

Anga Dagnir is a technique that uses the power of simultaneous attacking rather than the steady wearing down of an opponent. By using the unique properties of Boruda’s sphere, this simultaneous like attack is achieved by continually “delaying” the effects of Yassene Fanya until they culminate into one single attack. Although this may seem simple enough, the technique has guidelines for its execution.

The attack is initiated the moment Rokku says the word “Anga” and he will lose 5% of his reiatsu. At this time, the effects of Yassene Fanya are nullified and will not give off reiatsu bursts as it comes into contact with anything (Rokku excluded); though this is only temporary. Rokku then has 30 seconds or a maximum of three turns to complete this attack. During this time, anything that comes into contact with Boruda will show a subtle hint of gray on the area where the two objects met. This gray will stay there until the end of the attack’s time limit or unless the attack is set off prematurely by Rokku speaking the word “Dagnir”. Once either of these two things happen, all of the area’s that Boruda struck will feel the effects of Yassene Fanya simultaneously. This ability can be used a maximum of two times per battle, and during the 2nd time of activation Rokku only has a maximum of 2 turns or 10 seconds.
 
If there’s a need for a damage chart for the attack or something, let me know. =D

[ 英雄豪傑 ] Eiyuugouketsu

[ Description ]
The final stage of Takanori’s awakening manifests itself, as certainly expected, in the form of endless, ever blowing amounts of wind converging to his figure. The extent is so great that the amounts of air are ‘visible’ to the naked eye, turning an element that is most commonly unseen (wind) into something that has a definite form – thus, easier to be controlled. The amalgamation of various ‘layers’ of wind into one definite current causes all of this contained energy to take the form of an endless stream of silvery coloration, which spirals to skies above in a continuous movement.​

[ Specific ]

奥義: 行動半径
Ougi: Koudouhankei

Perhaps the most important ability of Takanori’s full release, Koudohakei literally means ‘sphere of activity’, which is exactly what this ability denotes about the release: the range of Takanori’s influence over the wind, and the extent of what he can do with it. At the time of full awakening, Takanori is able to completely control any and all amounts of ‘air’ within a radius equal to [ Harmony / 1,000 ] in feet.

Acts such as blasting gusts of wind, re-directing air currents, enveloping objects with localized amounts of wind, and all actions that don’t harm others directly can be done almost effortlessly – as a note, flight is included in here.​

[ Abilities ]

奥義: 月閃空破
Ougi: Gessenkuuha

By pressurizing an immense amount of wind in an arc, Takanori creates a static ‘blade’ on said place, which comes alive at his will as long as it’s within the radius of his ability. The shape of said ‘blade’ greatly resembles a crescent moon, the same motif he sports on the back of his usual battle clothing. The size of the attack is equal to [ Combat Stat / 100 ] in feet, fixed.

At the time of his first contact with the ability, Takanori can only manifest three blades at the same time. For every additional 3,000 Harmony, the young man is allowed to manifest an additional one along with the others. The creation of an exceeding one causes the disappearance of the first created blade, and so on.

It is of notice that they won’t disappear unless Takanori desires it or by the creation of a new one, as explained previously.

Restriction of creation dictates that they can’t be formed at positions that a human / hollow / shinigami / vizard is occupying – all other places are game.

Cost to create is equal to 5% of his current reiatsu.​

奥義: 逆転層
Ougi: Gyakutensou

By mastering the principles of ‘Fuugamessuru’, Takanori evolved the technique into its refined state of art. At any given time, as long as the projectile is within his radius of action, the young man can either nullify said offensive, or reverse its course and send it back to the user via manipulation of its trajectory – however, he loses the ability to merely slow down the incoming threat. The conditions are very similar to the original technique, but there’s one major difference between the two of them; Takanori doesn’t have to see the attack anymore, as long as it’s within his radius of activity.

• Attacks coming from opponents with more than 2x his reiatsu can’t be either sent back or nullified.

• Attacks coming from people with reiatsu higher than 1.5x his reiatsu can only be nullified.

• Attacks from other beings can either be nullified or sent back at his leisure and possibilities.

The cost to ‘reverse’ an attack is equal to 1.5x the reiatsu spent on the same, while the cost to simply nullify an attack is equal to amount of reiatsu used on the same – equal forces cancel each other, right?

As a final note, Takanori can only nullify/reverse three attacks at the same time. Both processes take approximately one to three seconds for completion, so time is something to take notice when barraging the young man with ranged attacks.​
 
Vizard Ban Kai attack -

Konpeki Hashira "" (Azure Pillar)

Atsuma's hollow side is always attempting to suck the life out of whatever it can, a selfish brat who knows nothing of good or evil, simply trying to satiate her own appetite. Atsuma, when masked, can use this selfishness to his advantage utilizing his existing ban kai ability. The blue flames which lick the area around him and Kanaduchi are augmented in an attempt to maximize their draining effects.

When focused the entire field of flames lessen in size depending on the number of pillars as they are focused and condensed, when released the flames erupt forth from the ground in the shape of a blue pillar. A lone column is wide enough to engulf a normal sized person, roughly 5' from one side to the other, and stretches 10' into the air. The pillar burns for one round before returning back to the wide spread flames prior to activating this attack. Friend of foe alike can be caught in the flames, and even if the full body isn't, any reasonable contact will still create the same effect. ( I.E arms, legs, zanpakutou). The fiery pillar doesn't burn the opponent; but simply sucks the life from them and ejects it out into the ether.

Rate of drain:
Opponents Rei is less than Atsuma's by a ½ or more "" 15% drain.
Opponents Rei is equal to or up to 1.5x his "" 8% drain.
Opponents Rei is greater than 15.x Atsuma's - 3% drain.

Three pillars per round max can be created, at a cost of 2% Reiatsu, 10% Rage while adding 5% to Emptiness.
 
kai evals - week 42

grumpy mode: gooooooo!!




ok starting out with J. make changes and resubmit.

im mostly going with what moot suggested to me.

ability: stat boost is fine; im a little leery of this 'partial energy state' thing you're bringing up though, like i dont really get what it means. the stat boost is it, you can't have any extra stuff in addition to that, so if you're thinking about phasing through stuff or something, no.

attack 1: the basic rei burn idea is fine but it needs some cleaning up.

first off it's really unclear how the attack actually strikes. 'coming into contact with energy' is too passive and vague imo, making it sound more like an area effect. especially since you describe the energy in the form as just kind of pouring out all over the place. you need to either give it a reasonable range, or have it rely on a strike from your body or weapon

next, ditch the scale and just deal the same percentage of your rei in damage no matter how strong the opponent is, and ditch the weird connection growth thing and go with a flat number of rounds. 3% for 3 turns sounds good to me.

attack 2:
this is still kind of messed up and ughhhhhhh lol. sorry im just having to read through it a few too many times. probably nearing 100 by now... =____=

here's what moot said.

mootiman (5:02:05 PM): it can blow up all kidou for 1% rei
mootiman (5:02:16 PM): which makes no sense since all attacks are not created equal
mootiman (5:02:22 PM): and he'd be paying more to have a lesser effect
mootiman (5:03:40 PM): paralysis effects are kind of weird and like if he slashes someone on the chest
mootiman (5:03:48 PM): it looks like they are paralyzed for 10 rounds
mootiman (5:03:55 PM): at full power
mootiman (5:04:05 PM): overall this has a bunch of those stupid sleeper abilities
mootiman (5:04:11 PM): that get mega broken when you reach high connection
bunnykickster (5:04:19 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
mootiman (5:04:27 PM): that and the explanation and the effects dont really match

ok can you see how it's kind of wrong to be able to completely paralyze an opponent who's equal to you for 10 rounds just by hitting them on the chest once and paying 1%?

not to mention this vague stuff about channeling reiatsu which seems like it can be interpreted as nullifying kai abilities and stuff, since pretty much everything uses rei. nullifying any energy the weapon touches for 1% regardless of whether it's a byakurai or a 10% kai attack beam or something doesn't make any sense either.

i don't know how to tell you how to make this attack work and im super weary of trying, so if you must have it, you are gonna have to figure it out on your own from here on out.


attack 3:
you also need to ditch all this calculating by connection stuff in this attack, it doesn't make sense the way you have it.

if you are spending 10% to create a number of spheres that do 6% in damage, why would having more connection allow you to create more spheres? having more connection doesn't magically make that 10% bigger in relation to the 6%.

if you want the number of spheres to grow, the way that would make sense is to have a flat cost and damage per sphere rather than a percentile, so that as your rei grows you are able to make more of them. duh.

if you want to have a percentile cost and damage, then the number of spheres will have to be flat.

the rerouting thing is also kind of troublesome cause it suggests you're controlling the spheres directly and they wont explode until they hit something but it's just kind of tacked on like an afterthought. i think you either need to pick the 'homing' effect, or the 'kyuu is controlling them' option- not both.

its also not really clear whether the explosion is actually doing anything aside from causing reiatsu depletion. o__O

and once again, with the range.. just make it a flat range or else it just gets ridiculous. 200 feet maybe? ok. sure.





branchi
- make changes and resubmit.

you're doing something extremely simple, yet managed to make it so complicated i can barely read it : ( the crazy formatting doesn't help much either.



initial discovery: this is a boost to resistance. fine. you don't really need to pay for it though, not to mention paying a percentage of harmony in rei doesn't make sense. when you're putting a cost on something, just say ___% of your reiatsu, or else you can use flat costs like '100 reiatsu'.

the only problem here is that since your first stage has three abilities, the maximum boost you can have to a stat is 5%, so 5% it will have to be.


okay now we get into the first stage and things get more confusing.

first ability:
armor stuff

repeat what i said before about the cost and the maximum boost. 5% is all, and you don't actually need to pay anything for it.

okay - so you get some armor. this is actually the form of your release, and not an ability. thats okay though, for clarity i would prefer if you just move the description of the armor into its own section, labeled 'form'.

the ability is what increases your resistance by 5%. and this is where the ability should end! boosting the resistance gives you a greater ability to guard, as well as protecting your poor human body from the damages of channeling lots of reiatsu, which allows you to hold out longer in a fight. great, right!

the shielding stuff, if you want it, would need to have a separate ability slot and also need to be reworked quite a bit. considering you already have 2 other abilities, and you only get 3, you're going to have to drop something.

second ability: firey fists

your armor gets all hot and burning, and you can punch with it or throw bits of it. sounds fine.

but wait.. you have ANOTHER stat boost in here? sorry, but you have already used a 5% stat boost in your first ability.

i guess maybe you didn't understand how boosts work exactly, so i'll explain.

in a shikai for shinigami or a first stage for an advent human, you get 3 slots. these slots can be each be used for a unique ability or attack. an ability that boosts a stat is simply that - in order to get a stat boost, you must use up the whole ability. if the stat boost is the only ability you have, it can be 15%. if you have two abilities, the stat boost in the first one can only be 10%. if you have 3, like you do, it drops down to 5%. if you wanted to boost multiple stats, you could do 5 - 5 - 5, but that's all your release would be able to do. k?

alright. im guessing you will rather have the fire ability than the boost, so i will tell you how to fix the ability.

the damage calculation isn't necessary, since it will simply hit as hard as your combat stat allows you to, and everyone knows that fire burns things ^^

since you describe the attack as simply being a fire that burns in your character's hands, there's no need to pay so much for it. something like pay 1% of your rei to ignite your hands would be fine.


ability 3: this is alright too, if im understanding it correctly, you just get a kind of rocket-propelled thrust that you can combine with a jyanpu. what doesn't make any sense to me are the calculations. no sense at all @__@

just say 2% of your reiatsu per use, or something along those lines.


polka - make changes and resubmit.

form:
a staff taller than its wielder is not a hakuda weapon in any way, shape, or form. you can use a staff in combination with hakuda moves, but its still a zan weapon.

ability 1: somehow this is written out waaaaay longer than it needs to be. shrink, grow, bend... aight.

but why hohou? o__O this ability should be dependent on the stat being used to wield the weapon, unless you want to pay extra to make it move faster than your zan stat would normally move it.

The minimum length the staff can take is just enough to keep it concealed in a closed palm, with the maximum being twice its original size at first with an additional half every 1,000 points in Connection after the initial 1,000. These increments stop at 7,000 and roughly 8 meters.

okay.. what? haha. the point of describing your ability here is so that someone can quickly understand what your kai does. giving mental math quizzes is pretty counterproductive. if a train leaves chicago travelling at 65 miles per hour....

doing it your way, someone would have to go back up and read your form to recall that the normal size is a head taller than your character. then we'd have to go check your physical description to find out how tall he is, and add a foot or so to that number, and then divide it by 2, and then....

ok do you see how silly that is?

right. anyways, 8 meters is about 26 feet. so your staff can shrink from tiny-size up to 26 feet. see how much easier that is? haha. if its important to you, you can always restrict the size that your character is using in your own writing as he learns to wield his kai and stuff.


Indeed, any repetitive use of this trait that does not exceed the number of subsequent turns that have passed (given there were more than three) would not exhaust an amount of Reiatsu that is greater than what the Zanpakutou naturally draws from its wielder during battle.

lolwut? i read that section out loud to moot, myles, and kevin last week and it was universally baffling..

if you want to pay for using your powerpole extend then just do something simple like 50 rei that kind of matters early on but doesn't mean anything once you get strong.

moving on...

ability 2: super long and confusing and contains multiple abilities and excessive math quizzes and blarffff. i can't do anything with this until you narrow it down into something comprehensible. decide on one ability, or have two and separate them. come back to me when you have done this D:


duo - make changes and resubmit

ability 1: being shunpo specific is kind of shooting yourself in the foot. you should change that to like 'high speed movement abilities' or something, so you can get sonido, quincy curtain leg thingee, etc.

rather than increase the disorientation/speed locky thing with your connection, scale it to the opponent. i.e for guys half your strength or less, it lasts 5 turns, for guys more than half and up to 1.5x, it could last 2 turns, and one turn for those more than 1.5x.. kk

additionally, include a 2% cost per strike.


ability 2: this is okay but keep in mind that it won't work on invisible area effects and the like. like you can't just punch the air and cancel out an aoe. :B


ability 3: ugh more stuff about atoms. has j been giving you tips? D:
but the attack itself doesn't seem to have anything to do with atoms at all.. alrighty. you just need to explain this a little better because a 'cone' doesn't really tell us a lot. do you mean a cone-shaped hole in the ground or a cone-shaped spike shooting up or what? how big is it?

vizard attack:
this is kind of meh. come on now >__< put a little more effort in? also, the rage spent in your attack should always be greater than emptiness gained, or else you will be putting yourself on the fast-track to going vizard nutso.





shadow
- approved with changes. this is okay but you are making things too hard on yourself. a 6 inch radius is so puny! make it like a foot, at least.

also you don't need to pay 5% to keep your balls in play. lol. just have them fizzle out if they aren't used after 5 turns or something.



oh look a kish post. maybe i'll stop now cos ive been at this for 3+ hours
=___=

or maybe i'll just make it easy and say kish: denied, i already invested a bajillion hours in your dang kai and its someone else's turn. try submitting it again in a week where there's only like 1 other submission.


fabs - i got some complaint that this was ripped off another kai but tbh its just a really spammy version of kamaitachi so whatevs.
approved but i don't feel 100% sure of myself on this so there might be a moot consultation in the cards.

zeal - approved with changes

form:
make it bigger, c'mon. the shield should be like 80 feet across or something.

ability: fine, just confine the sunshine down to like 300 yards (or meters of you want to be all metric. its close enough) for the purpose of your vizzle attack.


attack 1
: see, wont this be better if the blades are giant too?

you don't need to spend more to wield one of the blades. just pick one up and use it, it's your zanpakutou isn't it? swing around 5 at once if it makes you happy. gosh!

attack 2
: fine

attack 3: this seems like a pretty bad idea and hurts yourself more than damaging the enemy D: the rest of your kai is fine but you should come up with a different attack for this slot or else leave it empty..

vizard attack: increase the rage spent to 25% and confine the area to the 300 yards/meters i mentioned above. also plz make the big KABOOM bigger. like 30 yards/meters or somethin at least.




alright i hit my limit. the rest of you will have to wait til the weekend or so.​
 
A little rework since I realized that I really didn't need 2 forms. So I decided to use the lightning as a 5% hohou boost.
(Also re-worked the damage table for the 1st ability)​

[Name]
Raikotsuken (Lightning Bone Blade)

[Release Command]
"Crush, Raikotsuken"

[Element]
Lightning

[Manifestation]
Raikotsuken appears as a skeletal horse with medieval armor that stands at 7 feet tall. An electric field seems to surround him as sparks fly from the bones, making a crackling noise and his eyes glow red with fire as smoke drizzles from his mouth. His voice is very deep and always seems straight to the point, never wanting to waste any time to worry about small talk. He always seems to want battles to end quickly and gets impatient when Spike plans his attacks beforehand, which results in more crackling from the zanpakutou.
Picture
horse.jpg.rZd.48636.jpg


[Release Form]
Upon the release command, the blade seems to start to absorb the black color on it and starts to change into a curved shape. As it starts it's transformation, another blade starts to extend down from the bottom of the grip, mirroring the top halfs transformation as it does. Raikotsuken's released form has two 12 inch curved blades, attached by an 8 inch central handle, that are no longer black but steel in color. The two blades slowly separate at the middle of the handle to reveal a 5 foot chain on the bottom of each 4 inch handle, that keeps them attached to one another. The grip is made from what seems to be a little over two vertabra from some sort of animal spine. Like the physical manifestation, an electric field seems to surround the blade, making crackling noises as sparks envelop and fly from the blade.
Picture
shikai21.jpg


[Ability 1]
Shuu Kaminari (Lightning Strike):

At the cost of 5% reiatsu, Spike can fire a concentrated bolt of electricity from the tip of Raikotsuken at his opponents. This bolt of electricity is superheated due to the friction of the atoms flying around, and travels very fast making it hard to dodge.

Enemy < 75% Spike's total Rei: The blast may cause moderate to severe burns and can also cause unconciousness and/or seizures depending on the placement of the hit.

Enemy = 75%-150% Spike's total Rei: it may cause slight to moderate burns and can also cause a numbing effect in the area hit. Slight dizziness may also occur.

Enemy > 150% Spike's total Rei: it may cause a slight tingling sensation in the affected area.

[Ability 2]
Jikai (Magnetic Field):

At the cost of 1 rei per pound (165 pound Spike would cost 165 Rei), a magnetic field can be formed around the wielder or an object (this object must have some metal in its structure), using the properties of electrifying the ions in the air, thus manipulating them (This magnetic field starts at 5 ft in circumference and gains 5ft per 1000 connection). The matter being manipulated by the electricity becomes lighter than the air and allows it to hover off the ground. These items can also be propelled through the air at the cost of 50 rei per 5 feet of movement and can only travel at a speed of 10 miles per hour or less. (This ability cannot affect any zanpakutou at all). Also an additonal 50 rei must be paid for objects already in motion. (Example: a knife being thrown at him)

[Ability 3]
Lightning Reflexes:

Due to the elemental properties of the zanpakutou, Spike is able to tap into a very small amount of the true speed of lightning to boost his Hohou Stat by 5%. This boost is tapped into automatically upon release, and feels like a sudden adrenaline rush.
 
Eldenhiem Energy Weapon Form

Itaku's Bow Eldenhiem energy form release

Discription: Eldenhiem's energy form is a bit less conventional than most quincy bows. One of the first differences is it's color: it's amaranth, a deep purple color, instead of the traditional blue. The second difference is that the bow doesn't seem to be one solid object, but a collection of Norse runes with a handle in the middle of the collection. The runes form the size of a short bow. Each rune is set about two inches apart, is three and a half inches tall, and inch wide increasing in thickness as they get closer to the handle; there are nine runes in all spelling out Eldenhiem's name. There is no visiable string for the bow, but there is a faint glint where the string should be.

Powers: This release gives Itaku no special powers, but doesn't block his line of sight as much as a normal bow would.
 
Okay, as per the suggestions of Deus, Mals, and Beth, I have overhauled my entire kai.

Enjoy! ^^

Sora Kunshu Junshiko 空君主 (Sky Sovereign Junshiko)


Release Stage

When Kuroshin says the words "Ban Kai" , he lets his zanpakutou go and allows it to spin in the air. Eventually, the spinning becomes so fast that the sword appears to become a golden disk. After a very bright shine, that appearance slowly morphs into a reality.


Release Form

Junshiko quickly transforms from a kodachi-shaped blade into a large, gold circular shield (roughly 82 feet/25m in diameter) with 24 wavy blades encircling its perimeter. Sometimes, an effeminate set of eyes appear on the shield, reflecting the zanpakutou's current mood.

As a side effect of Junshiko's new form, it instantly becomes daytime at any location that is within 300 meters of Sora Kunshu Junshiko's current location. This daylight is only perceptible by spiritual beings; ordinary humans and animals will still only see a night sky. And, of course, if it's already daytime when this occurs, there's no change.

Ability

Taiyoukokuten 太陽黒点 (Sunspot)
Sora Kunshu Junshiko floats independently of Kuroshin, although Kuroshin can influence where the large object goes. In addition to this, the shield's circular body also has eight smaller shields attached in formation. These smaller shields can also detach from the larger one and fly independently. All of the shields have the same ability: whenever something strikes their surface, the shield turns black for an instant and a 7-meter long discharge of heat and flame shoots forth. Any object this flame touches will become superheated to a degree insufferable to anyone except Kuroshin himself. The speed of the shields are proportionate to half of Kuroshin's hohou stat, and the strength of the flames are proportionate to his one-fifth kidou stat.

Attacks
Solarha
ソラ刃 (Solar Blade)
For 500 reiatsu, the wavy blades that surround Sora Kunshu Junshiko can be released and shot forward as a projectile that homes in on a specific target. The blades both pierce and burn whatever they touch. Sora Kunshu Junshiko can fire as many of the 24 blades as needed, although the reiatsu cost still complies for each one. Kuroshin can also pick up any number of these blades and use them as melee weapons. After being fired, the blades will regenerate.

Ôrora オーロラ (Aurora)
For 15% reiatsu and 5% reiatsu each addition turn, Sora Kunshu Junshiko produces a radiant field of light that resembles an otherwordly, supernatural mist. It is usually blue-green in color, but also tends to radiate in various colors of the spectrum. This glow covers the entire battlefield, encompassing everything caught within Sora Kunshu Junshiko's light.

Ôrora creates a field of magnetics and microwaves that affect everything on the battlefield, save for Kuroshin, causing anything composed of water, metal, or magnetism to vibrate at an undetectable frequency. Unfortunately, because creatures are composed of all three things, this means that any living or spiritual being caught within the Ôrora will vibrate significantly more noticeably. This effect causes movement to slow down and makes muscles slightly weaker, cutting down an individuals Hohou, Agility, or Douryuu stat by 5%. Under the influence of Ôrora, even a skill honed to perfection can become tricky to perform.

However, the attack is even more fiendish in regards to liquids. All liquids affected by will quickly become heated, never reaching the point of boiling or evaporation, but becoming hot enough to cause great discomfort in anything directly touching the liquid. This means that Ôrora can turn opponent's entire circulatory system into a painful weapon against them, damaging the victim from the inside out.


Vizard Attack

Choushinsei 超新星(Supernova)
Expending 20% Rage, 20% Reiatsu and gaining 10% Emptiness, Sora Kunshu Junshiko will retract all of the wandering shields back to its body. Each shield will turn white, and Junshiko will release a monumental amount of energy that will cause an explosion at any single point that exists within Sora Kunshu Junshiko's light. The explosion has a radius of 80 meters and cannot harm Kuroshin, unless the explosion clashes with another energy-based attack.
 
Shikai

Name: Kontei (Root)

Release Phrase: Delve into the earth, Kontei

Manifestation: Kontei takes on the form of a woman crossed with a tree. She wears a pale green robe that conceals her body. Her eyes are a deep, warm brown, similar to Kaizo's own eyes, and sparkle with happiness when she smiles. Kontei has a serious personality and regularly offers Kaizo wise advice.
Reference Picture

Form: Kaizo drops his sword, letting the blade shoot to the ground and burrowing itself in the earth, crying out the release phrase at the same time. Once the sword is in the earth, the bulb-like guard folds around and burrows into the earth. Kaizo then pulls the sword back out of the ground, revealing it's true form.

Kontei takes on the form of a long, guard-less sickle. Which maintains the small loop of grass at the bottom of the hilt and the kodachi length handle. At the point where the sword entered the ground a small tree stump grows out of the ground. If Kaizo is fighting in the air the stump floats up and hovers beside him, its roots hang limply at its side. If he is fighting on the ground then the stump stays in the earth, the roots hidden underground. As a result of the roots being hidden whilst he is on the ground, fighting on the ground is more advantageous than fighting in the air.

Abilities

Kontei Kasei (Root Growth)

Despite the small size of the stump on the surface, the roots underneath are particularly large. Kaizo can decide the length and thickness of the plant's roots. The plant has ten controllable roots. Each root can grow to be ten centimetres in diameter and twenty metres in length. If a root is cut, or badly damaged to an extent where it is unable to function properly, it grows back in two turns at no cost of Kaizo's Reiatsu.

Kontei Ayatsuri (Root Manipulation)

By channelling his Reiatsu into the roots in a manner similar to casting a Kidou spell, Kaizo can manipulate the roots; causing them to spring into life and attack his foes. By expending 2% percent of his Reiatsu, Kaizo can collectively control all ten roots for a turn. If he focusses on controlling a smaller number of them, their effectiveness will be enhanced. The roots' speed and effectiveness is governed by Kaizo's Kidou stat as this is a measure of how well he can channel the energy and control the roots.

Kougousei (Photosynthesis)

By manipulating the roots to wrap around his body, Kaizo can heal himself using the power of the sun; similar to photosynthesis. The sun's energy is transmitted through the roots to his body and seals up wounds. This can be used on small to medium sized injuries and uses up 5% of Kaizo's Reiatsu per turn it is in use. This ability cannot be used on other beings nor can it be used at night, inside or in any other situation where the sun's light cannot reach the roots.
 

Anubis' Shikai:

Name:
Havoc Storm


Release Phrase:
Pierce my soul, Havoc Storm


Manifestation:
Havoc Storm takes the form of the Egyptian God Horus.
Havoc Storm


Element:
Earth


Form:

Havoc Storm’s released form coexists with Anubis’ body. He gains ten open nodes and knuckle protruding blades. Three of the open nodes go down his spine. Then one node goes on his shoulders, elbows, and upper forearms. The last open node sits on Anubis’ chest shaped like a falcon head with its beak open. Anubis’ hands get covered in an organic metal, which protrudes a five-inch blade from his knuckles and two-inch metal nails.


Ability: Inhale

The nodes in Anubis’ body constantly absorb carbon-based particles throughout the air into his bloodstream and harden his skin. As long as Havoc is out, Anubis loses 4% reiatsu per turn. This skin makes Anubis resistant to all attacks that will physically touch him and its strength is increased per turn, for the increase of Reiatsu per round makes his skin more and more dense.

Ookami's carbon skin starts off initially with a natural 10% resistance to any damage dealt and increases by 5% every round. When Anubis strikes an enemy at any time during the hardening, his resiliency returns back to 10%. The carbon shell caps out at 25% damage resistance maximum. This stacks with the Vizard Racial Technique [ Hollow Resiliency ], meaning its final limit (25,000 Connection for the Resiliency Technique) can total up to 35% damage resistance if Anubis maintains a defensive posture.


Ability: Exhale

Due to the durability and natural hardness of his skin, the damage Anubis now deals with physical attacks is increased by 10%. Much like his natural defense, it increases by 5% per round for every round and also caps out at a 25% damage modification whenever striking with his second epidermis. Whenever Anubis is struck, the increase to his physical attacking damage is returned to 10%.


Attack: Oser’s Fury

The falcon node on his chest will project a small baseball sized orb of carbon that has been charged with Anubis' Reiatsu; the force pushes Ookami back a bit. He then slashes through the orb in an upward or downward 'X' that breaks the orb and sends a large consecutive concussive force ahead of him in the shape of a 10-foot X that travels for 10 feet. The Exhale damage modification ability stacks with the strength of this attack. Alongside the damage, those successfully hit become numb in the portion that was closet to wherever Oser's Fury hit them for 1 turn. This attack costs 5% of Anubis’ Reiatsu.

0.5x or less of Anubis' SP = 1.5x effectiveness (Limbs- numb, partial paralysis; Head- disorientation, nausea, and hazy vision; Torso- heavy difficulty breathing or total inability to; Back- slumps over entirely and unable to move)

SP is relatively equal = normal effectiveness (Limbs- numb; Head- disorientation and hazy vision; Torso- difficulty breathing; Back- unable to move but locked upright)

1.5x or more of Anubis' SP = 0.5x effectiveness (Limbs- partial numbness; Head- hazy vision; Torso- labored breaths; Back- partial numbness)


Vizard Attack: Respiration

Expending 10% Rage, 6% Reiatsu and gaining 5% Emptiness, Havoc Storm reverses three of the nodes on his back's pressure (from inwards to outwards). The seven other nodes increase their intake. Anubis utilizes the back nodes as a means of propulsion and can travel as quickly as one of his normal shunpo, leaving a plume of charcoal smoke in his wake, similar to a rocket. Storing all the other absorbed carbon in his fists he strikes with tremendous force.
 
Resubmitting

Resubmitting my kai with the suggested changes and a new vizard attack which I supposed resembles my third kai attack but I realized that right after I rewrote it.

Shikai
Release Phrase
"Crea Caos, DistorsiÁ³n" (Create Chaos, Distortion)

Manifestation
A boy who appears to be about 14 with short dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He stands about 5'7" and is dressed in blue jeans and a red t-shirt with the words "˜Caos es Paz' in bold black lettering on the front.

Form
A plain and inconspicuous pair of silver knuckles. The only way they differ from a normal pair of knuckles is that they are longer and cover more of the fingers. In an unreleased state, DistorsiÁ³n's form is no longer a blade. Instead, the unreleased form is a pair of brass knuckles, meaning the only real indication of shikai release aside from a rise in reiatsu is that the knuckles seem to change composition (Brass to silver).

Abilities
[Golpe del Fantasma] (Ghost Strike)​
Though DistorsiÁ³n is relatively unimpressive upon transformation, this tends to work as an advantage. In exchange for a small and simple form, DistorsiÁ³n itself can be very minutely manipulated but at an extremely rapid rate. The only way for an enemy to physically detect that the ability has been activated is the light humming noise that DistorsiÁ³n emits.

This ability does not enhance the power of physical attacks. When physical contact is made, the vibrations are transmitted to the recipient, which disrupts and damages the internal organs. This also causes a disorienting effect which lasts one turn, locking out the use of high speed movement techniques on the opponent's following turn. For those with reiatsu less than half of Duo's, this ability lasts for five turns. For opponents with reiatsu ranging from half to 1.5 times Duo's only experience the effects for 2 turns. For opponents whose reiatsu is greater than 1.5 times Duo's, the effect only lasts for one turn. Opponents struck by this attack receive a one turn immunity to DistorsiÁ³n's effect after they recover from this high speed movement lock. To activate this attack, 2% of his reiatsu must be expended.


[Frecuencia Gemela] (Twin Frequency)​

The best way to stop an attack is to put an equal but opposite force against it. Because performing such a feat in the heat of battle is nigh impossible, Duo has found another way to accomplish this task. Instead of being exact, he can overcompensate to ensure that an attack is nullified. By injecting 1.5x the reiatsu required to cast a kidou or use an energy based ability, Duo is able to cancel that attack so long as he strikes it.

Lazo DestrucciÁ³n(Bond Destruction)​

Through a combination of DistorsiÁ³n's passive ability and forcibly injecting reiatsu into a solid object, Duo is able to skew and in some cases destroy the bonds between atoms of certain substances. By expending 5% of his reiatsu and striking the ground in front of him, he can cause the ground to explode in a cone along with an angle of 45 degrees. The attack reaches a height of about 3 feet.

Vizard Ability "" [Efecto DominÁ³] (Ripple Effect)​
By expending 15% rage and gaining 5% emptiness, when Duo strikes the ground, DistorsiÁ³n's vibration cause weak tremors which are almost immediately followed by the ground violently jutting upward in a 1.5m circle around Duo.
 
Shikai

[Name:] Kuro Hakumei (Dark Twilight)

[Release:] kaikinisshoku, Kuro Hakumei! (Eclipse the sun, Dark Twilight!) <<Credit to this goes to Shadowwind144>>

[Form:] Upon release Kuro Hakumei takes the form of a crystal sphere. Within seconds after release the sphere shatters into thousands of shards that float through the air propelled by the user's Reiatsu, although the user can solidify the shards into the form of a sword and allow the user to wield it as a normal zanpakutou. Each individual shard also acts as a small crystal prism. This causes any light that passes through them to be refracted and scattered. This may give away the location of the shards making it easier for enemies to block or evade.

[Attacks/Abilities]

[Ability:] Crystal Prison

By paying 5% Reiatsu the user can cause the shards to condense around the enemy trapping them in a crystal prison. (Either sphere or box shaped) While inside the prison the enemy has a very limited range of motion. Attacks cannot pass through the prison from either side. While trapping an enemy it also provides a barrier from all attacks from both within the prison and from without, however the prison does not affect Kidou. The user must stay within a range of up to 8-10 feet and release an amount of 2% Reiatsu to keep the prison intact. Enemies can break free from the prison depending upon their Reiatsu.

""Enemy's Rei 2x > User's Rei: The enemy expends 5% Rei to shatter the Prison

""Enemy' Rei 1.5x > User's Rei: The enemy expends 10% Rei to shatter the Prison

""Enemy's Rei 1.5x < User's Rei: The enemy expends 15% Rei to shatter the prison

[Ability:] Twilight's Veil*

By expending 6% Reiatsu the user can form the shards in to a barrier that blocks oncoming attacks. Multiple barriers can be created at once (to a total of three), by adding 2% per each additional barrier. The blocking capabilities vary.

""Enemy attack with Rei 2x > User's Rei: The shield only serves to weaken the attack. The attack is weakened by 2% its normal destructive force. The shield is shattered

""Enemy attack with Rei 1.5 > User's Rei: The shield blocks the attack but is weakened. Another attack will shatter the shield

""Enemy attack with Rei 1.5x < User's Rei: The shield deflects the attack. The barrier can deflect multiple attacks before shattering.

*The user cannot attack with their zanpakutou while Twilight's Veil is active.

[Attack:] Twilight Storm

Main:
The user positions the shards in a large dome formation around the target. The user holds his hand up with his fingers spread. By quickly collapsing his hand into a fist the user can send the shards rushing towards the target slicing flesh and piercing bone. The shards do glow and can be dodged or deflected by the target. However this is not an easy task and requires a high speed.

""Enemy Rei 2x > User's Rei: The shards are easy to dodge and deflect.

""Enemy Rei 1.5x > User's Rei: About half the shards hit the target. The wounds vary from small scratches to deep cuts. Some of the shards lodge themselves in the flesh of the target.

""Enemy Rei 1.5x < User's Rei: Almost every shard cuts into the opponent doing serious damage. Most of the shards that hit lodge themselves in the flesh of the target

Extension: By spending an additional 6% Rei the user can cause the shards to detonate.

[Vizard Attack:] Roaring Eclipse

By expending 7% Rei, 5% Rage, and gaining 8% emptiness the user can reform the shards into a great crystal sphere. The sphere glows brightly from within. The user sends the sphere up into the air so that is blocks out the sun. The sphere takes all the light from within it self and also absorbs energy from all the light in the area (the brighter the area the stronger the effect). The sphere then fires a beam of energy down onto the enemy, accompanying the beam is a deafening roar. The enemy can lessen the damage by expending 10% Rei. The move is slow but powerful if it connects.
 
-Saibankan-

Zanpakuto:Saibankan (judge)

Shi kai Release Phrase: “Seek The Truth, Saibankan” (Judge)

Appearance: (Tenshi is in a white suit, not the traditional shihakushou, to make this release possible as well as to fit Tenshi’s personality.) Upon release, Tenshi's shi kai transforms into seven 9” daggers (including the hilt/handle, blade alone is 5”) made of silver, that auto place themselves in holsters around his body. One is located at each ankle, two on a belt (one ready at each hip), one hidden up each sleeve with a trigger holster, and the last in a spine holster at the back of his neck. Only four are visible to others. (Seven symbolizes the holy aspect attributed to Tenshi) each holster is made of white leather. The daggers are of course sharp but detailed to resemble a feather (on the blade while the handle made of ivory in resemblance of a calamus or quill).

Abilities/Techniques:

Release Form: Described above.
Ability #1: Returning dagger at 30 feet after thrown, vanishes and is replaced by/or transforms into a feather and the dagger is returned to its holster.
Reiatsu Cost: 50 reiatsu per return.

Battle Form:
Three of the seven daggers join to become a sax style (thick flat blade that is 9” long, 13’ including the hilt/handle) blade while the other four join to become a sword breaker (thick flat notched 12” blade, 16” with handle/hilt). They still keep the physical descriptions as far as make and engravings. although the guard of the swords is oval with a silver ring seeming to be attached yet about a centimeter away from the guard.
Ability #2: No additional ability needed. Strictly for physical battle.

Assassination Form.: This form is actually smaller that the others together when joined with all seven daggers. The blade is made out of a crystal material that is transparent and 4" long. At the center of the dagger there is a feather made to a likeness of the wing charm that is attached to the hilt of Tenshi's Zanpakuto. This is for balancing purposes. The hilt is entirely silver with seven linked halo's elegantly engraved to seem all separate but yet one halo.(still working on this design) Not going to release this form for a while, so I will post a fine tuned description of this form. (or possibly no one can see it. This form will not be used in regular battle.)​
Ability #3: 100 yard return after thrown in the same fassion of the release form. 50 yard unaffected by forces of nature (wind, gravity. Affected by obstacles (of course but just in case you thought i was dumb)) @ 1000 reiatsu. Each additional 1000 reiatsu gains 10 yards to return and 5 yards to unaffected by FON to a max of 150 yards on return and 75 on unaffected by FON. Holy Binding is also added as the "Main Ability". This dagger will be out of combat only. Can be used for initial attack, and only if Tenshi is the initiator. After the first attack, blade must be changed to Battle form or Release form prior to next attack.
Blade Return-
Reiatsu Cost: 100 reiatsu per return​

Holy Binding-
Target < %75 Tenshi's Reiatsu -
Three rings of light of light surround the appendage that was hit by the dagger. The center ring is four inches from the skin while the outer two are only three inches form the skin. The enemy’s body is free to move while binding holds that appendage in place (whether grounded or airborne) until Tenshi lands first close range attack, without fail. This leaves the target to fend off projectile daggers.​
75% Tenshi's Reiatsu < Target < 125% Tenshi's Reiatsu-
75% chance of hit​
125% Tenshi's Reiatsu < Target < 150% Tenshi's Reiatsu-
50% chance of hit​
150% Tenshi's Reiatsu < Target-
Situational, but doubtful attack​

**There is no partial hit. If the binding is complete, they must wait til Tenshi's attack.**

** A hopeful ability to all forms (including original Zanpakuto) is the charms on the original Zanpakuto, the blades on Ability #1, the halo (or silver ring "hovering" around guard) on Ability #2, and the feather inside the blade of Ability #3 will glow enough to light a path at the command of .... I know so clichÁ©..... "Light my path, Saibankan"**
 
Ok this is only half of them, I plan to do more but figured I would get these up first.

Myles: Approved
It is a Vizard BK attack so the power level is there and since the reiatsu drained is lost and not redistributed I see no problem with it.

Crys: Pending
Form : Pass; If I read this right it looks something like a cloud you control

Ability/ Attack 1: Pass; the ratio for area controlled is slow but acceptable

Ability/ Attack2: This is where I came across a few thoughts that made me wonder hence the pending. More clarification is needed as to whether the blades remained fixed in one spot or if they are movable. Also can these blades be formed around a tree of sorts?

Ability/ Attack 3: Pass; the chart explains it all. Any projectile attack can be diverted or nullified given such is within your range of counter power to do so.

Jumper: Approved

Upon presentation of proper documentation this kai has been approved with the following suggestions

Ability/ Attack 2: 1 change suggested, I would like to have the cost altered from set cost of like 1 rei/ lb to a percentage or ratio of sorts. Like instead of 1 rei/lb do something like (objects weight/wielder’s weight)* 300. This way the scale grows with you and heavy items don’t become light as tissue paper in terms of rei costs.


Arcad: Denied
Form: It’s a bankai, it’s big, it’s scary, and it works. Pass

Ability/ Attack 1: Hohou Stat boost, you know our thoughts but do what you want

Ability/ Attack 2: rei drain

Ability/ Attack 3: Ok lost on this one, what do you specifically mean by matching costs? Do you mean something like nullifying kidou? Please expand.

Ability/ Attack 4: Homing attacks, with learning capabilities. Yeah homing attacks unless mentally controlled are generally frowned upon. Not only that but the cost allows for easy spamming.

I see a lot of descriptions, but not a lot of details. It is a great idea, but seems like it is still a work in progress. It was the last two attacks that seemed a bit too much power, and the last attack was a huge part of the clincher.

Orien: Approved
Um… not much I can say about it since it is a regular quincy energy bow. I see no reason why it wouldn’t pass.

NOTE: Those Pending have some questionable items as noted in the comments section. You can review your submission and edit them, or wait until a dilberation is passed down.
 

Current Date in Araevis

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