Release Submission Thread

[IshinOnigami]

Alright, here goes the first of many probable submissions for my bankai. louhi or zen, if either of you have any suggestions, or anyone else for that matter, please PM or IM me about it. I will take any form of constructive criticism.

Bankai​

Amatsu Kougou no Fuyutsuki

Heavenly Empress of the Winter Moon

Form ​

Fuyutsuki, when Ishin achieves Bankai level, splits down the middle of the blade. It separates, the two halves being held one in each hand by the wielder. Using this, he effectively doubles his range, due to the fact that he can now extend his arms all the way in each direction. However, that is just the weapon aspect of his bankai. The actual kai itself is all around Ishin. As soon as he speaks the word bankai, the sky darkens and thousands of meteorites, both large and small, descend and hover around him in an area of zero gravity. Also, if one were to look behind him, they would see a moon created by his reiatsu, no matter if it is the middle of the day or a cloudy night.

Ability
Gravitic Mastery - Inryoku Shuujuku​

Ishin can now manipulate the gravity around him at a nearly divine level. As such, simple things like picking up objects and throwing them are now part of his routine. The situational gravity ability from his shikai is now constantly active, as is weight of the heavens. As a side effect of this ability, any and all celestial bodies that enter into Ishin's gravity zone come under his control.

Attack 1
Imperial Celebration - Amatsu Iwaigoto​

The first attack at Ishin's disposal is much akin to Sister's Call. However, Ishin now can control a multitude of meteors that all strike the opponent from different directions. This power can be used as many times as he wants while he has bankai active. Not only that, but by infusing his reiatsu into the projectiles, they become bombs. When they all collide with the target, it looks much akin to a star burst or fireworks, which has prompted Fuyutsuki to refer to this attack as Hanabi. This attack costs 100 reiatsu per meteor, and an extra 100 for each meteor that he infuses with power.

Attack 2
Gravity Bomb – Inryoku Gensuibaku​

Ishin uses the full force of his gravity to compress anything within an are of five meters where he chooses. The amount of gravitic pressure in this area is so large that it literally reduces everything within it to dust. This attack costs 2000 reiatsu to use, and may only be used a maximum of three times per battle.

Attack 3
Armageddon - Harumagedon​

Ishin's ultimate attack, or series of attacks as is the case. Only used on the strongest of opponents, This attack is Ishin's strongest assault, with or without his weapon. With the weapon split, Ishin throws the weapons at the opponent, using his gravity mastery to manipulate the flight path of the weapons. Then, while the opponent is distracted, Ishin uses all his power and pulls the moon created by his bankai out of orbit, forcing it to come crashing down on his opponent. The moon is part of his bankai, which makes this attack nothing short of a last resort double edge sword. On the one hand, it is very powerful and usually incapacitates or kills all but the strongest of foes. On the other hand, since he is sacrificing his life force, it leaves him drained of all power. The total drain on Ishin's reiatsu is equal to 95% of his maximum reiatsu. Not only that, but he is basically destroying a part of his bankai. Therefore, after the attack, his sword reverts to its sealed state and may not be released again during that fight.

 

[King Zeal]

Replacing one of my abilities for shikai and using my final ability slot for bankai. Here is the old shikai ability, for reference:

Attack 2 – “Solarya” (“Sol Arrow”)
Expending 1% Reiatsu, Junshiko’s slash creates a projectile “dart” that is meant to pierce a target like a blade.

And here are the new abilities:

Shikai

​

Ability – “Shigaisen” (“Ultraviolet”)
For 200 reiatsu, Shigaisen allows Junshiko to emit powerful, invisible ultraviolet rays within a radius of 20 yards. While Shigaisen is activated, Kuroshin becomes actively aware of any and all injuries or physical afflictions on any person or creature touched by the rays. For an additional 100 reiatsu, Kuroshin may increase Shigaisen to such an intensity that it instantaneously creates a benign tumor that swells over the injured area and proceeds to heal the affected area. The rate of healing depends on the severity of the injury. Non-bleeding surface wounds (such as a paper cut, bruise, or minor burn) take only one turn to heal. Bleeding wounds and deep burns require an extra turn to stop hemorrhaging and repair tissue. More critical wounds, such as broken bones or damage to a vital area, take at least 3 turns. The tumor’s size can not grow larger than six inches in size or width, although more than one tumor may be created.

In addition to this, Shigaisen also acts a cleansing agent, clearing the body of pathogens, parasites, or the influence of controlled substances.

Bankai
​

Ability – “Hiyake” (“Suntan”)
A more powerful version of Shigaisen that costs 1000 reiatsu to activate. Sora Kunshu Junshiko blankets the entire area affected by its light with ultraviolet rays. Like Shigaisen, this allows Kuroshin to perceive any injuries or physical afflictions on any person or creature the rays touch. Unlike the original ability, however, Kuroshin may pay 200 extra reiatsu create a second skin that covers the entire body. This skin not only has all of the healing properties of Shigaisen’s tumors, but it also increases a body’s overall metabolism, increasing the individual’s speed while the ability is active. While encased in this new skin, the target will enter a “hyper state”, making them unable to remain rested or calm. Furthermore, the extra energy provided by this state allows the user to chant kidou incantations at an accelerated rate, as well as increase the potency of the spell equal to 10% of Kuroshin’s overall Kidou stat. The skin lasts only as long as it takes for the affected wound to heal, and the healing rate is the same as Shigaisen.

*Note: Despite the recent drama in chat, I'm still submitting these changes. I like this better than what I've currently got for my kais.

 

[Code of the Noble]

Beth, I am resubmitting this kai to take out the draining cost while the shikai is active, also for something that fits the division as well. Here is a link to the old submission. The first ability is somewhat the same but I took out the resistance and went with invisibility. I also changed the third ability completely. I hope it works.

http://www.bleachforums.com/showpost.php?p=835694&postcount=170

Shikai

Shikai Command: Sentan wo Hiraku, Ouritsu Tatsujin “Take up arms, Royal Master”

Spirit: Ouritsu Tatsujin stands about 6 ft and takes the form of an elf. She has long bluish white hair with a pale blue skin tone. Ouritsu Tatsujin wears a deep "V" neck sheer gown covering her entire body that has splits on both sides near the legs. She speaks with a sultry toned voice that echoes softly through the area.

Spirit Home:



Form: Senesati’s zanpakutou does not change form in Shikai.

Zanpakutou Base: Kidou

Ability: Iryoku "Will Power"

Upon release of his zanpakutou, Senesati forms an invisible layer of reiatsu around his entire body. This coat grants temporary invisibility and distorts an opponent’s ability to detect reiatsu. This ability also enables Senesati to deflect/negate projectile type attacks.

Senesati can only perform the deflection/negation ability a max of six times at the cost of 100 reiatsu each time the ability is used.

Senesati is able to stay invisible a max of three turns before becoming slightly visible to the opponent(s) for two turns. If Senesati attacks while invisible he is seen for up to three turns before he is able to render himself invisible for four more turns.

Attack: Ifu "Abandonment"

A technique that strikes with the force of Senesati's spent reiatsu. It produces an invisible slice from his zanpakutou that gradually travels over a course of 50 feet at a high rate of speed. Ifu is only visible from the ground as a spark leads the trail. The area of the attack is very narrow (about as thick as the cutting side of an unreleased zanpakutou) and can be as high as 20 feet. This attack costs 200 reiatsu. The strength of this attack grows the longer the kai has been active

Ability: Gokuin Kijutsu "Seal Magic"

At the cost of 200 reiatsu per enemy. Using his own reiatsu, Senesati is able seal the use and effects of opponents kidou for up to five turns. This ability is activated by Senesati holding his blade in front of him horizontally, the blade emits a dim yellow glow and he says the word, “Silence”

Note: This ability lasts for five turns per enemy. Senesati can not lock kidou higher than his current casting stat; this means if Senesati holds a kidou stat of 500, he is able to seal all spells that cost 500 kidou or less. If Senesati is hit with a Bakudou spell he would pay half the cost of the spell in reiatsu to break it and seal the opponents ability to use kidou. Lastly Gokuin Kijutsu does not seal Senesati’s ability to use kidou.

 

[DeDaL]

Zanpakutou: Gentouki is using a little trophy he got from his former Yakuza boss. It's a 75cm Uchigatana in a sheath made of polished black wood. The hilt is made of same black wood, contrasted with snow-white weaving. This obviously expensive sword draws a lot of attention, more so that it looks more like a decorative sword and lacks any kind of guard. Most people say that fighting with this blade is just asking for death. They are wrong. The blade is perfectly balanced and masterly sharpened.

What the real problem is - it was never meant to be used as a Zanpakutou. That creates certain difficulties such as Zanpakutou Spirit's inability to fully develop inside a foreign blade, thus slowing the bonding of the user and Zanpakutou. (+10% to *kai requirements)


Spirit: A beautiful pale woman with long purple hair; her lips are colored in the tone of her hair and she's missing the right eye; her left eye has black sclera and the iris is glowing red. She's dressed in a torn-up white shihakusho with red outlines; the holes in it reveal that her voluptuous body is marked with scars all over. The woman has a low deep voice, befitting a warrior.

ShiKai​

Name: Aikata (Companion)

Command: Take my strength and give me yours, Aikata!

Form: The blade becomes black, with a purple swirling inscribing on its surface. Fuushi's left arm gains an elbow-lengh guard bracer of the same visual style.

Picture

Ability (Passive, Constant) "Mutual Trust"

The reiatsu of Aikata and Fuushi interweaving and constantly flowing into each other is the only way to transcend the boundaries of the physical body of Aikata. It rejects the power of the spirit residing within and over time seals it back.

Mutual Trust allows for ShiKai to be active for a certain period of time, after which the blade will reseal itself and will not be able to be released for the next 4 turns.

The time limit is: 2 turns + 1 turn for every 2000 of Connection

Ability (Triggered, Channeling) "Bond"

Through direct contact with any other released Zanpakutou(or zanpakutou-like form of other races), Aikata can create a bond with it. To indicate a bond the other zanpakutou gains a purple swirling imprint on it's body. The two bonded will interchange their reiatsu with each other. The other party will strengthen the form of Aikata, and Aikata will strengthen the abilities of the other zanpakutou.

An active Bond prolongs Aikata's ShiKai time limit by 2 turns.

By expending the full cost of the other zanpakutou's triggered ability, Aikata doubles its effect.

Bond can be broken by either party or automatically if the distance between the bonded becomes more than [Connection/100] meters. Preserving the bond consumes 100 of Fuushi's reiatsu every turn.

Note: doubling the effect depends on the strengthened ability. For example: If it's firing fireballs - the area of explosion is doubled; if it creates it's own copies - the number of possible copies is doubled - and so on.
Note2: This ability does NOT amplify kidou/techs/feats that have nothing to do with zanpakutou(or zanpakutou-like form of other races)

Attack (Triggered) "A Favour"

With an active Bond, Aikata can gather Fuushi's reiatsu to siphon through the reiatsu of the zanpakutou she's bonded with. This enables Fuushi to use any of the bonded zanpakutou's triggered abilities by spending twice the cost of it.

 

[Masaru_Taka]

Stage
First stage

San Tatsu no Soukyoku
三竜の奏鳴曲
Form: Sonata of the three dragons

Conversion: What beast the constricts Masaru left arm, left behind as a final gift from his brother, comes to life, and entangles the boys arms changing them from the cinnamon texture to the tone of the starless night sky, and becomes scaly yet stays as soft as if his skin remained the same. The boys red eyes turn gold and his pupils slit, transforming him from demon to dragon.

Focus: When his arms are black and a weapon identical to a katana in length and width is wielded, this weapon transform into the weapon it rivals, a katana with a black blade save the waves that soak that seems as if it’s a mixture of blood a shows. Its hilt plain, naught but what looks like a black cloth wrapped around the handle in a way it’s space by white diamonds, its guard, a circle, no insignia no marks, the last thing to catch an on lookers eyes.


Abilities

Ichiban-no-Uta: Hiryuu

The first song of a style Masaru never expected to use in battle. Hiryuu cost 5% of rei to send forward three slender dragons from the tip of the sword with a thrust. Though a useful projectile attack, its path can not be changed, and it can on move five meters before dissipation. If the attack manages to hit, it tears through the flesh and continues its path, leaving shallow wounds in its wake. When emitted from a slash that cuts a target, Hiryuu moves upward, turning the lone wound into the final starting point of three more.

Ji-no-Uta: Ryuu no Natsu
The second of the three songs,Ryuu no natsu takes the form of one of three five inch long dragons. By paying 5% of his rei Masaru can embed the into whatever he slashes. When the songs name is called They explode into omnidirectional needles that travel one meter before dissipation unless they hit an obstacle.

Daisan-no-Uta: Doragon Shato

The final of the three songs, similar to Hiryuu it’s a projectile attack, created by a sword swing forward. By paying 10% of rei Masaru sends a lone dragon forward that eats the rei of its target upon contact. Effected targets lose the ability to use rei based attacks for two turns.
​

 

[louhi]

week 57

Disclaimer: I've gotten pretty burned out on doing this stuff so this week's reviews are mostly moot. I'm just acting as a secretary and giving a few suggestions here and there...




mals - approved


rick - resubmit

the idea is very creative but won't work well in the RP. You can still use the idea but you need to follow a few things -

only one minion at a time (presumably Aiden might want to release these ppl and let them move on after a time anyway, since they're still human souls)

make a list of possible abilities that they can select from and include it as part of the release (kind of like the abilities chisame can give her video game summons, if you want a reference)

The stats that the minion has need to be drained from Ayden's to some degree.

and to answer your question: as of now, you do need to submit your entire kai at once. Adding more abilities on after the fact will cost you a feat slot.


clerrie - your abilities are mostly okay but i feel like you could do something stronger. the main problem i see is that your form is daggers, which are a hakuda weapon, and hakuda is naoko's worst stat D: I have pretty cool kai in mind I thought up for naoko i'll talk to you in IM.... (and to the rest of you, i'm her captain. shh!)

shad - approved with changes:

sealed form of a scalpel is no-go. Make it a tanto or similar.

ability 1: fine

ability 2: remove the statement about '5 cuts'. It's doubtful you'd be able to manage more than one or two vs an equal opponent, but limiting it to 5 would restrict you when you're wiping out masses of newbs, so it just isn't helpful at all.

vizard attack: the wording is kind of strange and hard to follow but the attack is fine in essence. It's the stuff about waves in eight directions turning into vines and spirals and flowers.. so many different things it's kinda nonsensical xD


sing - resubmit

resonance: this one is fine

faint breath: some parts of this are fine, others dont make sense. Using your hohou stat for this doesn't make sense, since you're using zan to implement the ability, it should be based on your zan stat. Rather than require your character to keep swinging her sword around, just have her make one pass to give someone 5 turns worth of cloak or somesuch. you don't need to allow people with a certain level of stat to see through the cloak; there are lots of kidou and other ways that an enemy can see through something like that already.

harmonic discord: waaaaaay too much. this is a 3 ability kai already, so the abilities aren't going to be super strong. this one is just crazy! being able to shatter someone's bones just by touching them is.... well, you can think of this xD Make something that heals, or attacks - not both.


Ish - resubmit

form: you need to define the actual size of the area

ability: this is something that applies to your shikai as well btw; the rei of other people is going to hamper your ability, meaning you can't just throw a person around the way you can throw rocks, unless they are weakling humans or w/e. putting it in perspective, you aren't by any means going to be able to paralyze someone with 75% of your rei with a free ability

attack 1: with attacks, you get what you pay for. a 100 rei bomb might work on newbs but it's not gonna put more than a scratch on regular opponents. Also it seems like you have the cost the same for a large or small meteor (if you're talking about the ones in your form), doesn't make too much sense.

attack 2: more or less okay

attack 3: if it uses 95% of your max rei, what happens if you already used up 6% before you use the attack, do you die....?

Zeal - the shikai ability is way too powerful for a 3 ability kai although most of the ideas are alright. also being able to heal bones etc for 100 rei is too cheap.

the bankai ability seems like a cobbling together of unrelated things that dont belong together in a single ability. I just don't see how healing and buffing kidou is related. one or the other, guy. one or the other. the speed buff is pretty iffy as well.

Sene - I wish I could figure out what it was you wanted with your kai. Now you've got all these leftover vestiges of the previous version where you were paying a forced cost every turn, and the abilities no longer make sense in context. the kidou one is just flat out broken :<
I have some other ideas you can use if you want some help. okay

DeDal - resubmit

the kai is mostly okay except for a few things.
there's no need to be messing around with basic kai mechanics. please, no turn limits on your shikai D:
buffing someone else's abilities is fine, but the buff needs to be lower, let's say a 1.5 x increase instead of 2x

 

[Lady Stumble]

Resubmission

Thanks for the review, beth ^.^

ok. Ability 2: Moshinoiki - by mewts advice, I have gotten rid of the cloaky

Ability 3: Yah, I was afraid of that. I overdid it n.n'' Well, I took out the healing because i just remembered that 3rd div has a stabilizing tech already >.<;; and I want to be able to keep an attack. So I
at the advice of swas and shade, I've gotten rid of the levels and the organs and just stuck with twisting muscles (lock-up as swas puts it and cramping kai as shade puts it XD). I also added a small RPing thing where she needs to know which muscle she is targeting. This means there may be more rping stuff to do with 4th division, and she can't send out random attacks n.n''

*crosses fingers*

Shikai​

Spirit Name
Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi (Heart’s Morning Star)

Spirit Manifestation
A large female wolf with white wings, Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi has a myriad of violet tribal markings covering her white fur. She has thick fur at her legs, saber fangs, and eyes the same color as Okaeshin’s. To her, Okaeshin is just a grown up baby sister. Kokoro cares about her deeply, but is not above teasing her relentlessly whenever the opportunity arises. Equally as playful, but a lot more sensible, and incredibly fierce in battle, she complements her wielder’s youthful recklessness with her wisdom, but gets easily frustrated when her advice is not heeded.

Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi

Command
“Sing with Abandon”

Released Form
When Okaeshin strikes her sealed zanpakutou vertically in the ground, the impact sets a vibration (similar to a tuning fork), and as she speaks the release command, Kokoro elongates and forms another blade on the opposite end of the hilt. Engraved in the blades are tribal markings, tinged slightly violet in the carved metal. Two white ribbons lead from either end of the hilt, which changes little, only lengthening for a wider grip. The blades continue to vibrate setting a low, musical hum. Kokoro no Hitotsuboshi has the ability to utilize sound in its attacks and abilities.

Shikai Form

Ability- Strategic: Kyuomei no Kinsen (Resonating Heartstrings) wolf howl
Strengthening the hum of her blades by singing softly and taking strength from her zanpakutou spirit's howl, Okaeshin can reverberate objects, and in receiving the disturbance of the air in return, she can map out the affected area in a 50 feet radius, including anything or any person within it. At first, she is only able to pierce one layer and for one turn before losing her control, be it through floor or wall with a thickness of 3 feet. Every 500 connection, she can penetrate another layer and gain a turn of control. Subtle and efficient, this ability is difficult to detect unless those in the affected area have reiatsu 1.5 times that of Okaeshin’s.

Each turn costs 100 reiatsu with a constant additional cost of 5% for every additional 50 feet per use.

Rping facts
The hum and song are audible to those within a 20 feet radius of Okaeshin, and cannot be heard through a wall. The steady sound is punctuating by a rhythm of beats, but it seems to weave in and out of itself, giving it the musical quality of a canon. Useful for mapping enemy territory and for search and rescue.

Attack- Direct: Baion Atsureki (Harmonic Discord) wolf bite
Whether with her body or any part of her zanpakutou, Okaeshin, once she makes contact with a person, can send a high frequency sound wave, a song with a throbbing beat, through their body and into their muscles. However this can only be done if the point of contact is made where every layer of skin has been broken and the muscles beneath have been reached, or in more simpler terms, a deep cut. Just touching someone would have no affect as the skin acts as a natural barrier.

The sound wave can twist muscles, causing a "lock-up" of the muscle, making movement difficult. This would include tendons also.

Each attack costs 5% reiatsu

Rping facts
The sound wave travels through a body accompanied by a piercing song and a feeling of sharp pain, like the bite of a wolf, which can disorient. The song is only audible only to the target, and the pain has no physical consequences. Additionally, when using the ribbons as a channel for the sound wave, the ribbons harden as they wrap around their target, changing into a soft, malleable glass.

Also, this ability requires Okaeshin to know exactly which muscle she is targeting, meaning hours of study of the various muscles. Because of this, she may have to maintain a relationship with the 4th Division.

 

[IshinOnigami]

okay, here is submission number 2. lets see how this one fares. I defined the area, added a disclaimer to the ability, and changed the attacks slightly.

Bankai​

Amatsu Kougou no Fuyutsuki

Heavenly Empress of the Winter Moon

Form ​

Fuyutsuki, when Ishin achieves Bankai level, splits down the middle of the blade. It separates, the two halves being held one in each hand by the wielder. Using this, he effectively doubles his range, due to the fact that he can now extend his arms all the way in each direction. However, that is just the weapon aspect of his bankai. The actual kai itself is all around Ishin. As soon as he speaks the word bankai, the sky darkens and thousands of meteorites, both large and small, descend and hover around him in an area of zero gravity. Also, if one were to look behind him, they would see a moon created by his reiatsu, no matter if it is the middle of the day or a cloudy night. The area of his control is an area covering a twenty meter radius around him, meaning from one point on the edge to the opposite is fourty meters

Ability
Gravitic Mastery – Inryoku Shuujuku​

Ishin can now manipulate the gravity around him at a nearly divine level. As such, simple things like picking up objects and throwing them are now part of his routine. His control of gravity is hindered when it comes to other individuals with spiritual power. The ability to increase gravity on them becomes less effective when they are close to his power level. Not only that, but he can never increase the gravity to above the threshold for a body. Due to this provision, Ishin is unable to rip the limbs off of someone or effect them greatly. The situational gravity ability from his shikai is now constantly active, as is weight of the heavens. As a side effect of this ability, any and all celestial bodies that enter into Ishin's gravity zone come under his control.

Attack 1
Imperial Celebration - Amatsu Iwaigoto​

The first attack at Ishin's disposal is much akin to Sister's Call. However, Ishin now can control a multitude of meteors that all strike the opponent from different directions. This power can be used as many times as he wants while he has bankai active. Not only that, but by infusing his reiatsu into the projectiles, they become bombs. When they all collide with the target, it looks much akin to a star burst or fireworks, which has prompted Fuyutsuki to refer to this attack as Hanabi. This attack costs 2% reiatsu per small meteor and 4% reiatsu per large meteor, and an extra 2% for each meteor that he infuses with power.

Attack 2
Gravity Bomb – Inryoku Gensuibaku​

Ishin uses the full force of his gravity to compress anything within an are of five meters where he chooses. The amount of gravitic pressure in this area is so large that it literally reduces everything within it to dust. This attack costs 10% reiatsu to use, and may only be used a maximum of three times per battle at the beginning. For every additional 5,000 points of connection, he gets an extra use for the attack, to a maximum of six times at 25,000 reiatsu.

Attack 3
Armageddon - Harumagedon​

Ishin's ultimate attack. Only used on the strongest of opponents, This attack is Ishin's strongest assault, with or without his weapon. Ishin uses all his power and pulls the moon created by his bankai out of orbit, forcing it to come crashing down on his opponent. The moon is part of his bankai, which makes this attack nothing short of a last resort double edge sword. On the one hand, it is very powerful and usually incapacitates or kills all but the strongest of foes. On the other hand, since he is sacrificing his life force, it leaves him drained of nearly all power. Also, the less reiatsu he has left the less powerful the attack becomes. The drain is equivalent to 50% of his remaining reiatsu. Not only that, but he is basically destroying a part of his bankai. Therefore, after the attack, his sword reverts to its sealed state and may not be released again during that fight.

 

[DeDaL]

Zanpakutou: Gentouki is using a little trophy he got from his former Yakuza boss. It's a 75cm Uchigatana in a sheath made of polished black wood. The hilt is made of same black wood, contrasted with snow-white weaving. This obviously expensive sword draws a lot of attention, more so that it looks more like a decorative sword and lacks any kind of guard. Most people say that fighting with this blade is just asking for death. They are wrong. The blade is perfectly balanced and masterly sharpened.

Spirit: A beautiful pale woman with long purple hair; her lips are colored in the tone of her hair and she's missing the right eye; her left eye has black sclera and the iris is glowing red. She's dressed in a torn-up white shihakusho with red outlines; the holes in it reveal that her voluptuous body is marked with scars all over. The woman has a low deep voice, befitting a warrior.

ShiKai​

Name: Aikata (Companion)

Command: Take my strength and give me yours, Aikata!

Form: The blade becomes black, with a purple swirling inscribing on its surface. Fuushi's left arm gains an elbow-lengh guard bracer of the same visual style.

Picture

Ability (Triggered, Channeling) "Bond"

Through direct contact with any other released Zanpakutou(or zanpakutou-like form of other races), Aikata can create a bond with it. To indicate a bond the other zanpakutou gains a purple swirling imprint on it's body. The two bonded will interchange their reiatsu with each other and Aikata will strengthen the abilities of the other zanpakutou.

By expending the full cost of the Bonded zanpakutou's triggered ability, Aikata strengthens it's effect by 1.5 times.

Bond can be broken by either party or automatically if the distance between the bonded becomes more than [Connection/100] meters. Preserving the bond consumes 100 of Fuushi's reiatsu every turn.

Note: strengthening the effect depends on the amlified ability. For example: If it's firing fireballs - the area of explosion is increased; if it creates it's own copies - the number of possible copies is increased; if healing - potency is increased, and so on...
Note2: This ability does NOT amplify kidou/techs/feats that have nothing to do with zanpakutou(or zanpakutou-like form of other races)

Attack (Triggered) "A Favour"

With an active Bond, Aikata can gather Fuushi's reiatsu to siphon through the reiatsu of the zanpakutou she's bonded with. This enables Fuushi to use any of the bonded zanpakutou's triggered abilities by spending twice the cost of it.

 

[xXSound13Xx]

Shikai

Name:Bellahime

Spirit Form:
A pale white girl that appears to be in her teens. Her long black hair covers half of her face at times. She wears a long red gown that covers her from the V shaped neck down to her feet. The only thing strange about her is that her teeth are sharper than normal teeth...

Release Phrase: "Veil The Dawn, Bellahime"

Sealed Form Change: Bella, turning his old katana shaped sword into a rapier, has forcibly changed Kin's sword. With the new look came a slight add on to the top of the sword so it would allow Kin an easier grip.

Released Form: Kin takes his rapier and stabs it into the sky as the blade slowly dissipates turning into a swarm of fifteen bats. Kin is left with a hilt, which allows him to control the point the bats will attack or swarm towards. When any of Kin's bats are killed or injured, for the cost of 2% of his rei, after two turns has passed all bats are reformed at full strength.

Abilities

1.Ability: "Nagareru Kamu" [Drain Bite]

This ability allows Kin to target one or more enemies and make the bats attack their prey. When the bats reach there target the bats bite down on the prey and drain blood from them costing Kin 5% of his rei. Each bat is able to hold up to one liter of blood. The bats can then bring the blood back to Kin for the usage of restoring lost blood. This skill can be turned around on Kin's allies to allow the bats to restore lost blood by changing the blood type in the fangs to match that of the new host.


Vizard Attack: "Akui Kamu" [Venom Bite]

This attack changes the blood that the bats have taken from enemies and turn it into a more deadly use for the cost of 10% of Kin's rei,10% rage and generating 5% emptyness. When the bats bite down on their prey, they are able to inject some of the blood back into the victim, but the blood is tampered with. With the new "venom" in there bodies the prey will have there "Ho hou" stat cut in half for two to three turns.

 

[FogOverLondon]

For new Loki PC, Konane Hiei, Thank you! Huggles!

Shikai

Name: Makanui (Maka-noo-ee, Hawaiian for “Great Eye”)

Form: A kodachi with a ruby red handle, guard and sheath. The blade is pure black metal.

Ability 1: Allows Konane to summon dragonflies that are as hard and fast as bullets, correlating with Konane’s Hohou stat for their speed and with his Zanjutsu stat for their power.

Konane uses the dragonflies offensively two ways, he can command them to be rigid and inflexible and use them as shuriken, or he can use them as flying projectiles.

The dragonflies are summoned for 100 reiatsu each 7 per turn can be summoned with a maximum of 49.

Ability 2: Any summoned dragonfly can transmit visual, audio, and reiatsu data back to Konane.

Vizard Attack: When masked Kona spews a swarm of much larger, extremely aggressive dragonflies out of his mouth to devour his enemies, with speed and destructive power still connected to his Hohou and Zanjutsu, respectively. Summons a set amount of 500 dragonflies, expends 25% rage, gains 15% emptiness.

 

[Code of the Noble]

Complete resubmit. *hugs and squishes Beth for the help*

Shikai

Zanpakutou Name: Ouritsu Tatsujin “Royal Master”

Shikai Command: Sentan wo Hiraku, Ouritsu Tatsujin “Take up arms, Royal Master”

Spirit: Ouritsu Tatsujin stands about six feet and takes the form of a sea elf. She has long bluish white hair with a pale blue skin tone. Ouritsu Tatsujin wears a deep "V" neck sheer gown that covers her entire body and has splits on near the legs on both sides. She speaks with a sultry type voice that echoes softly through the area.

Spirit Home:

Ref Pic

Zanpakutou Base: Kidou

Form:

Ability: Iryoku "Will Power"

A long strip of shadowy cloth with orange highlights is wound around the hilt. This material is equally as durable as the blade of his zanpakutou and can be wound around Senesati's hand and arm to protect him, or untied from the hilt it can be worn anywhere on his body as extra armor.

Attack: Ifu "Abandonment"

A subtle growing attack. Releasing 1% of Senesati's reiatsu with a slash of the zanpakutou's blade creates a slow moving, nearly invisible projectile which matches the dimensions of the weapon. Until it makes impact against something solid, the attack will travel at about 4 inches per second (about 10 feet or so in a typical round of combat). The attack begins as nothing more than a normal slash, but for every round that it continues to move, its energy increases by a further 1% of Senesati's reiatsu. After five rounds or 50 feet without hitting anything, the attack reaches its limit for growth and will start to glow hot orange.

Note: At full strength this attack can break through most barriers.

 

[Amadeus]

Spendin feat slot from summer PMs to change kai. Thx to moot and wind far helpin.


Shikai: Tsuukon Kisoku

Form: Zhukov's hands are transmuted into skeletal metal, and at the end of each fingertip is a razor-sharp nail, which can extend several inches for deeper penetration.


Ability: Upon physical contact with an opponent, Tsuukon Kisoku can get an impression of the enemy's mind and past, and use their regrets against them. Every time Tsuukon Kisoku wounds the enemy, they are gripped with a regret from their past. A heavy iron chain symbolizing this regret wraps around their body, physically weighing them down, though this chain is only real in the mind of the one it binds--it is their own regret that truly binds them.


Vizard Attack: By spending 5% Rage and gaining 2% Emptiness, Zhukov can will the chains binding a target to come alive and contract, squeezing the life out of them.​

Bankai: Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku

Form: Zhukov gains a bulky black carapace over his body that radiate darkness like a mist, at once reminiscent of both mechanical and insectoid designs. The knuckles of the oversized arms barely graze the earth when Zhukov stands at his full height. Numerous chains connect the Vizard's massive arms to his shoulders and spine, and many others dangle from his back to the earth, clinking every time he takes a step. Each arm can unfold to display arrays of dissecting blades, for use when a target is satisfactorily immobilized.


Ability: Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku emits psychic radiation capable of binding the strong and enslaving the weak. Every being within a city block's radius of Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku are gripped with a regret from their past. A heavy iron chain symbolizing this regret wraps around their body, weighing them down, though this chain is only real in the mind of the one it binds--At first.

Every time Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku inflicts damage on a target, the chain binding them becomes more real, physically weighing them down more and more with every blow. Eventually their regret appears on the battlefield as a formless spirit gripped with a desire for vengeance. These spirits are more than capable of injuring their bound malefactors, and often do so with great pleasure. Zhukov can select to withhold this ability's influence from those beings with which he has United Front.


Attack: By spending 5% Reiatsu, Zhukov can summon a horde of screaming spirits from himself and those affected by Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku's ability, and fire them in waves to ravage a target area.


Attack: By making physical contact with a target affected by Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku's ability, Zhukov can effectively transfer his Emptiness to them. By spending 5% of his Reiatsu once every round Zhukov can transfer 10% of his Emptiness to the target, pumping them full of his inner demons and compounding the weight of the regretful effect, while freeing himself from mental pressure.


Attack: Zhukov can draw upon the regrets of others within Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku's ability range to empower himself, feeding off the spirits of vengeance in order to sharpen his own abilities. Absorbed regrets grant a 1% damage boost to all injuries Enshin Tsuukon Kisoku inflicts, up to a max of 20%. Regrets can only be absorbed from living beings.


Vizard Attack: By spending 5% Rage and gaining 2% Emptiness, Zhukov can will the chains binding all targets within half of a city block's radius to come to screaming life, growing spikes and snaking around a bound target, dicing and crushing them to death.​

 

[louhi]

Week 58


masaru - resubmit

first and formost, you need to fix your grammar/spelling. The amount of errors makes the submission very difficult to follow.

eg:

What beast the constricts Masaru left arm, left behind as a final gift from his brother, comes to life

huh?????

an AH shouldn't be using a sword, that's the domain of shinigami/vizards.

the wording in the 2nd ability is really mixed up and it sounds like you're making any person that you cut turn into a bunch of needles and explode...

Just like when you applied for the RP, when you submit a Kai, you also need to put your best effort into writing it out. Do some proofreading and editing.




Sing - approved with changes

Take out the labels on your abilities (direct, strategic, etc), these have no real meaning and only confuse other people into thinking there is some sort of system for this when there isn't.

that goes for all of you - don't make up designations to label your attacks and abilities! ​

ability: leave the range as a max of 50 feet radius, and the cost at 100. just drop this part "with a constant additional cost of 5% for every additional 50 feet per use."

attack: note that when you are way stronger, it's okay to shatter stuff. Against someone your own strength, the attack will work as described.





Ish - edit n resubmit

Ability is okay.

Attack 1: You need to actually describe the size of the meteors (the real things range from the size of sand up to the size of boulders). Maybe the small ones like 2 feet across and the big ones are 8 feet. Just leave the cost at 2% for small and 4% for big. you don't need the extra cost.

Attack 2: remove the word 'literally'. 25,000 reiatsu. <--- change that reiatsu to connection.

Attack 3: It won't be stronger when you have less rei left. it's as strong as the 50% that you spend. You need to say how big your moon is.





Dedal - approved with changes

cap the maximum bond distance at 50 meters





Sound - make changes & resubmit

Drop the change to the sealed form. Those don't change.

Released form: Specify that the form is also an ability (so it is a 2 ability kai)

ability 1: you used 'there' when it should be 'their', fix that.
A liter is a loot of blood (about 1/4 of what a person has in them).

Reword a bit so it's clear you won't immediately drain someone dry, even if the bats can store that much.

You should be able to store the blood from previous fights even when your kai is sealed.

vizard attack: fix the their/there in here as well. The venom debuff should be based on one of your own stats, probably kidou, so it would lower their hohou by x% of your kidou stat.





lambo - approved

minor change, if they are as fast as your hohou, you don't want to say they're as fast as bullets too.




Sene - approved with changes

improvement c/o moots: The speed of the attack should be less specific, so it starts out going slow but gets faster as you get stronger. doesn't need exact numbers, just keep the 5 rounds specification. (thus as you grow stronger, the attack can travel further/faster within that amt of time)




desu - DENIED!!!!!!!
ugh fine okay approved >:[

 

[xXSound13Xx]

Hope this works for ya~

Resubmit

Name: Bellahime

Spirit Form: A pale white girl that appears to be in her teens. Her long black hair covers half of her face at times. She wears a long red gown that covers her from the V shaped neck down to her feet. The only thing strange about her is that her teeth are sharper than normal teeth...

Release Phrase: "Veil the Dawn, Bellahime"


Released Form: Kin takes his rapier and stabs it into the sky as the blade slowly dissipates turning into a swarm of fifteen bats. Kin is left with a hilt, which allows him to control the point the bats will attack or swarm towards.

Abilities~

1. "True Hell"
Kin's sword has now turned into a swarm of bats. Each bat has a certain marking and can only be dismissed by Kin's command. Each bat can only hold up to 1.5 pints of blood. This blood can be stored up from previous battles and be used at any time.

2. "Nagareru Kamu" [Drain Bite]

This ability allows Kin to target one or more enemies and make the bats attack their prey. When the bats reach their target the bats bite down on the prey and drain blood from them costing Kin 5% of his rei. The bats can then bring the blood back to Kin for the usage of restoring lost blood. This skill can be turned around on Kin's allies to allow the bats to restore lost blood by changing the blood type in the fangs to match that of the new host.

3. "Tracking Scent"
After three bites have been inflicted to one target, Kin and the bats will pick up the target's scent. With the newly acquired scent of the target, the bats can now lock on to the target and make it easier for them to find their prey even if it is trying to escape. Kin can track the target for 5% of his rei per every two miles.





Vizard Attack: "Akui Kamu" [Venom Bite]

This attack changes the blood that the bats have taken from enemies and turn it into a more deadly use for the cost of 10% of Kin's rei. When the bats bite down on their prey, they are able to inject some of the blood back into the victim, but the blood is tampered with. With the new "venom" in their bodies the prey will have their hohou stat reduced by 20% of Kin's kidou stat.

 

[IshinOnigami]

okay, here is submission number 3. Hopefully third time is a charm. Made changes suggested by staff.

Bankai​

Amatsu Kougou no Fuyutsuki

Heavenly Empress of the Winter Moon

Form ​

Fuyutsuki, when Ishin achieves Bankai level, splits down the middle of the blade. It separates, the two halves being held one in each hand by the wielder. Using this, he effectively doubles his range, due to the fact that he can now extend his arms all the way in each direction. However, that is just the weapon aspect of his bankai. The actual kai itself is all around Ishin. As soon as he speaks the word bankai, the sky darkens and thousands of meteorites, both large and small, descend and hover around him in an area of zero gravity. Also, if one were to look behind him, they would see a moon created by his reiatsu, no matter if it is the middle of the day or a cloudy night. The area of his control is an area covering a twenty meter radius around him, meaning from one point on the edge to the opposite is fourty meters

Ability
Gravitic Mastery – Inryoku Shuujuku​

Ishin can now manipulate the gravity around him at a nearly divine level. As such, simple things like picking up objects and throwing them are now part of his routine. His control of gravity is hindered when it comes to other individuals with spiritual power. The ability to increase gravity on them becomes less effective when they are close to his power level. Not only that, but he can never increase the gravity to above the threshold for a body. Due to this provision, Ishin is unable to rip the limbs off of someone or effect them greatly. The situational gravity ability from his shikai is now constantly active, as is weight of the heavens. As a side effect of this ability, any and all celestial bodies that enter into Ishin's gravity zone come under his control.

Attack 1
Imperial Celebration - Amatsu Iwaigoto​

The first attack at Ishin's disposal is much akin to Sister's Call. However, Ishin now can control a multitude of meteors that all strike the opponent from different directions. This power can be used as many times as he wants while he has bankai active. Not only that, but by infusing his reiatsu into the projectiles, they become bombs. When they all collide with the target, it looks much akin to a star burst or fireworks, which has prompted Fuyutsuki to refer to this attack as Hanabi. This attack costs 2% reiatsu per small meteor that measures 2 feet in diameter and 4% reiatsu per large meteor which measures eighth feet in diameter.

Attack 2
Gravity Bomb – Inryoku Gensuibaku​

Ishin uses the full force of his gravity to compress anything within an are of five meters where he chooses. The amount of gravitic pressure in this area is so large that it reduces everything within it to dust. This attack costs 10% reiatsu to use, and may only be used a maximum of three times per battle at the beginning. For every additional 5,000 points of connection, he gets an extra use for the attack, to a maximum of six times at 25,000 connection.

Attack 3
Armageddon - Harumagedon​

Ishin's ultimate attack. Only used on the strongest of opponents, This attack is Ishin's strongest assault, with or without his weapon. Ishin uses all his power and pulls the moon created by his bankai out of orbit, forcing it to come crashing down on his opponent. The moon itself is approximately the size of a large house. It is a part of his bankai, which makes this attack nothing short of a last resort double edge sword. On the one hand, it is very powerful and usually incapacitates or kills all but the strongest of foes. On the other hand, since he is sacrificing his life force, it leaves him drained of nearly all power. Also, as his reiatsu decreases, so does the damage the attack may cause. The drain is equivalent to 50% of his remaining reiatsu. Not only that, but he is basically destroying a part of his bankai. Therefore, after the attack, his sword reverts to its sealed state and may not be released again during that fight.

 

[Tenchra]

Name: Mariposa carmesÁ­

Command: Spread your wings, Mariposa

Manifestation: Mariposa, is exactly as the name says. It is a butterfly, roughly the size of a softball. It is colored in bright red and orange with yellow tips on four points of it's wings.

Form: Two vines wrap around each other to form the staff, they split at the end to form two prongs. At the top they merge to form the shape of an orb with a pair of wings sprouting from the 'back' of it and surrounding it in a half circle.

Ability: Clouding Fog
Cost: 500 Rei
Jex creates a dome of fog, 10 meters radius horizontally long, and 5 meters high, centered on his Zanpakutou. The fog is thick and obstructs all vision but Jex's. The dome stays in place until he either dismisses it or creates a new one. While the dome is in place anyone standing it will begin to heal gradually.
-Minor scratches, burns and stabs in non-vital places can be healed in 3 rounds.
-Deep wounds, internal injuries and non-lethal damage can be healed completely in 5 rounds.
Also, while Jex is inside the dome, he knows the condition of individuals inside the dome.

 

[Beaks]

(Removing Garganta from it's slot and burning one to resubmit my kai.)

Click for form

Name: Victus Chalybs (lit: Living Steel)

Zanpakuto Spirit: A grizzled old Norseman whose appearance is disheveled and beaten down, a mere shade of what he had once been in life. While appearing to have been a noteworthy bladesmith at some point in time, his name and purpose have been lost to the annals of time.

Element: Metal

Release: "Come alive in my grasp, Victus Chalybs!"

Form: Victus Chalybs takes the form of a commonplace trench spike, devoid of any ornamentation and a stark black hue. The whole weapon from knuckles to blade is little more than 1 foot in length.

Ability 1: Animus Victus Chalybs allows its wielder a mastery over metal, enabling Noburu to twist and shape the metal around her as she sees fit. This may entail calling forth the metal underfoot to rise up and ensnare her opponents, calling forth spires of twisted metal as weapons, and erecting rudimentary shields. This ability costs 1% of Noburu's Reiatsu per round it is active.

Vizard Attack: Sundering Strike By expending 10% Rage and generating 10% Emptiness, Noburu is able to channel raw destructive power into her fist. This energy will cause any metal that is touched by it to explode after 2 seconds into countless fragments, causing damage to anyone nearby. If the blow connects with flesh or other organic material, there is no effect. However, if Noburu's strike connects with an opponent's Zanpakuto, she may expend additional Reiatsu to strengthen the blow and "break" the weapon. The amount of Reiatsu expended must exceed the opponent's Zanjutsu stat for this ability to work, and has no effect on an unsealed Bankai.

 

[louhi]

Week 59
​

sound - approved with changes

drain bite: change the cost from 5% to 100 rei per bat

remove the tracking ability entirely

vizard attack needs a rage emptiness equation such as spending 20% rage to gain 10% emptiness
the debuff is too high, lower it to 15% and limit it to four rounds




Ish - approved, congrats




tench - approved with changes

add a time limit of five minutes to the cloud.





beaks - resubmit

the ability is too open ended. you need to specify how much metal you can control and what you can do with it, as well as ruling out things like zanpakutou and iron in blood, etc.

raise the rage expenditure in the vizard attack so that it's greater than the emptiness output, otherwise you're shooting yourself in the foot.

 

[Masaru_Taka]

Regretting procrastination.

resubmitting and reworked.

Tatsu no Seiatsu
Form
竜　制圧
Dragon Mastery​

Taka Masaru, a boy who has little spiritual knowledge undergoes a metamorphosis when the black dragon tattoo that coils around his left arm, seeps into his skin. His pupils slit, the skin around his arms becomes scales, and his nails grow half a centimeter and sharpen to the point they can easily slice into concrete.

Abilities​

Tatsu Kokuji
竜　酷似
Dragon Resemblance
When hand to hand combat becomes obsolete, Masaru can pay 100 rei to transform a normal weapon into a black and red counter part that can harm both physical and spiritual beings. For Masaru the transformed object feels as if it weighs half its original weight, but for anyone hit by the tool it feels as if the weight has doubled.

​