Reviewed Week 370: A Sick Man's Dreams: Good and Gone - Feedback

[Chef Bryardee]

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 370: A Sick Man's Dreams: Good and Gone by Chef Bryardee.

 

[swaswj]

I'll be honest, I really struggled with this one. It's been so long since I read the previous portions that I had trouble recalling who everyone is, and having most of them referred to only by their hair color did little to clear things up. By the end of this, I'm still not sure who's who, what Sphaireo was suggesting, or what Oriana wanted to do. Given the distance between the last writing and this, describing more for the reader would have been helpful, take things slower, set the scene. Ideally, reading previous pieces shouldn't be required and readers should be able to figure out from context what's going on. I do want to know more of the story, but right now I'm not even sure what I already know.