Release Submission Thread
- Thread starter louhi
- Start date
Unholy
New Member
Just posting my bank now.
Upon release, the very air and ground all around him suddenly cracks and gives the impression that Dellius is completely covered in a broken mirror. The moment it shatters, Dellius’s entire body grows to 8’4 and is covered in a stony silverish-grey substance and his gauntlets and boots are gone. He no longer wears any clothing except a red Etchū fundoshi that cannot be removed or damaged at all. The substance that covers him is as strong as normal armor, but offers great flexibility. There are red glowing cracks amongst his body and his eyes glow with shining white light.
Dellius now gains two permanent base charges, totaling to 10% of his hakuda stat. He can gain up three additional charges, at 5% each, capping at +25% of his hakuda stat. Additional charges are gained by using Gin Ken or techniques from the hakuda school. When he lands a blow he gains a charge at the end of the round, no more than two per round. All of Dellius' current charges are used up explosively at once upon landing a melee strike, and this detonation of raw strength can even weaken or destroy kidou, or kidou-like effects such as cero, on contact. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuutetsu work in tandem with this ability and do not purge the charges.
Dellius can harness the power of intense vibrations to create powerful shockwaves from any part of his body. This has the power to create violent earthquakes as well as blow away things in his path. He can launch up to three cone-shaped shockwaves a turn, with a max range of 40m; each shockwave costs 10% of his maximum reiatsu. There is also the option of making individual shockwaves stronger by adding another shockwave to it thus increasing its power and the starting size of the cone. A normal shockwave is 4 meters wide, a middle powered one is 8 meters wide and a full powered one is 16 meters.
The attack is indeed the same as the first but it is harnessed differently and to a more vicious effect. Rather than release the powers openly on his foes, Dellius can send quake bubbles within the opponents body my merely making some contact with the body. The opponent then experiences the earthquake within their own bodies easily damaging organs and their inner workings. Just like the original Gin Ken this attack has the same limitations and is chargeable and not only determines the range of damage it does, but also they time when the quake goes off. At 5% max reiatsu, the range is simply around where the area is struck and it goes off next turn at 10% the entire main body part is effected (arm, leg and foot, torso, etc) and it occurs within two turns. At 15% the whole body is effected regardless of where you hit it and its three turns before it goes off. As with the original Gin Ken, this does not consume charges.
Bankai
Ginsei Kyojin no keimō
(Enlightenment of the Silver Giant)
Ginsei Kyojin no keimō
(Enlightenment of the Silver Giant)
Upon release, the very air and ground all around him suddenly cracks and gives the impression that Dellius is completely covered in a broken mirror. The moment it shatters, Dellius’s entire body grows to 8’4 and is covered in a stony silverish-grey substance and his gauntlets and boots are gone. He no longer wears any clothing except a red Etchū fundoshi that cannot be removed or damaged at all. The substance that covers him is as strong as normal armor, but offers great flexibility. There are red glowing cracks amongst his body and his eyes glow with shining white light.
Ability: Shinkaku no kajitsu (Fruits of Godhood)
Dellius now gains two permanent base charges, totaling to 10% of his hakuda stat. He can gain up three additional charges, at 5% each, capping at +25% of his hakuda stat. Additional charges are gained by using Gin Ken or techniques from the hakuda school. When he lands a blow he gains a charge at the end of the round, no more than two per round. All of Dellius' current charges are used up explosively at once upon landing a melee strike, and this detonation of raw strength can even weaken or destroy kidou, or kidou-like effects such as cero, on contact. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuutetsu work in tandem with this ability and do not purge the charges.
Attack: Yama no shukufuku (Mountain’s blessing)
Similar to Shinkaku no Kajitsu, Dellius gain charges only, he can use his raw strength strictly to defend against attacks and harmful abilities. These charges fortify the substance covering Dellius’s body. This forms a layer of defense. He gains two charges passively totaling at 10% of his hakuda for the first layer of defense. Dellius gains a layer each time the charges of Shinkaku no Kajitsu is used up and the layer is the sum of all the charges used up at the time. He gains a layer in the next round after the charges are used. He can have up to three layers are not suspectible to decay, however he must by 500 reiatsu each turn for every 1000 the layers are worth else they will decay instantly after absorbing a hit. Only one can be broken at a time.(He will take damage as if it were the only layer.) When he has a maximum amount of layers, the weakest layer is fortified by any charges that are consumed. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuuetsu work in tandem with this ability and does not affect the layers.Attack: Gin Ken(Silver Fist)
Dellius can harness the power of intense vibrations to create powerful shockwaves from any part of his body. This has the power to create violent earthquakes as well as blow away things in his path. He can launch up to three cone-shaped shockwaves a turn, with a max range of 40m; each shockwave costs 10% of his maximum reiatsu. There is also the option of making individual shockwaves stronger by adding another shockwave to it thus increasing its power and the starting size of the cone. A normal shockwave is 4 meters wide, a middle powered one is 8 meters wide and a full powered one is 16 meters.
Attack: Gin ken(Silver Fist)
The attack is indeed the same as the first but it is harnessed differently and to a more vicious effect. Rather than release the powers openly on his foes, Dellius can send quake bubbles within the opponents body my merely making some contact with the body. The opponent then experiences the earthquake within their own bodies easily damaging organs and their inner workings. Just like the original Gin Ken this attack has the same limitations and is chargeable and not only determines the range of damage it does, but also they time when the quake goes off. At 5% max reiatsu, the range is simply around where the area is struck and it goes off next turn at 10% the entire main body part is effected (arm, leg and foot, torso, etc) and it occurs within two turns. At 15% the whole body is effected regardless of where you hit it and its three turns before it goes off. As with the original Gin Ken, this does not consume charges.
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Form, ability, and Gin Ken (shockwaves) can work.
Mountain's Blessing is still along the lines of a second ability. The final attack (you forgot to rename it) is extremely unclear on what it does. Is it an auto-hit that follows up the shockwaves?
Resubmit.
Regulus
New Member
( Shikai ) Sasori-ō no keibetsu
Name: Sasori-ō no keibetsu サソリ王の軽蔑 ( Scorn of the Scorpion King )
Release Command: "Unleash your anger and pierce them with your fury."
Manifestation: A scorpion like human with the body of a man, but possesses multiple scorpion like tails. The outer part of his body having a hard exoskeleton that from much conflict has many battle scars on it. Sasori-ō no keibetsu himself is a complete spitting image of Reshin personality wise, but is far wiser and has much better control of his own emotions. Sasori-ō no keibetsu acts almost as a form of father figure towards Reshin which is understandable since it being apart of Reshin understands his hardships, and wishes to make things as pleasent as possible. Sasori-ō no keibetsu is fiercely protective of Reshin and is easily upset by anything or anyone hindering his shinigami in any way.
Inner World: An infinitely vast desert of bloody sand in which Sasori-ō no keibetsu normally conceals himself until Reshin enters this world. Upon entry Sasori-ō no keibetsu will raise up from the sand and formally greet Reshin with a random thrust from one of his tails to test Reshin's reaction and mark his progress before speaking.
Release Form: When Sasori-ō no keibetsu is called the previous form of Reshin's zanpakutou disappears and then emerges again as a part of his own body. A thin but powerful steel hard exoskeleton covers all of Reshin's upper body from his neck to just below his abdomen. This covering is completely blood red and protrudes like the exoskeleton of an actual scorpion. The exoskeleton being key in stopping lethal strikes to a majority of vital organs and reducing the damage of blunt force attacks. Also eight tails made of the same steel hard substance spans out from his entire back in four rows of two. The tails themselves which are made of the same substance are also blood red. Despite the strength of the substance itself the material that forms it is actually very light allowing quick maneuverability. The length of each tail is approximately 25 feet long and are about six inches thick, but can't change length or width via extending or retracting, although they can move freely in any direction. Each tail obviously are giant versions of a normal scorpions but are not segmented to allow complete freedom of motion by way of greater flexibility. At the end of each tail is a curved, razor sharp needle point about two and a half feet long, but only a tenth of a millimeter thick so they are hard to see. This released form shares similar characteristics with Sasori-ō no keibetsu's physical manifestation in design.
Special note: Before the needle points on the end of each tail is a slight bulge which contains the viles. This bulge is a sphere shape that is only a foot in circumference from where the tails begin to narrow off as you get closer to the needle points. Also the "stingers" on all eight tails are proportional in size. In this case the stinger is 10% of the tails length while the other 90% is the rest of the tail itself.
Ability: Killing Instinct - Each tail contains immense viles of a liquid that causes a similar effect of seki seki rock when injected. When one of these tails strikes the opponent successfully and injects this fluid it acts as a poison that momentarily restricts circulation of spiritual energy, one round for each successful strike. ( 500 Reiatsu is required to use this ability again. Opponent must release at least 500 reiatsu upon being struck to negate a single strike using this ability. ) Each tail locks on to an opposing spiritual entity mere moments after Reshin can sense it. When Reshin focuses on his target the tails will begin to track the movements of that specific body of spiritual pressure indicated by the direction the needles at the end of each tail points. When the body of spiritual pressure leaves the range in which Reshin can sense spiritual pressure then the tails will automatically unfocus and base its own movement to the movement Reshin can perceive. The number of targets that these tails can lock onto depend on how many spiritual entities such as soul reapers, hollows, quincies, advent humans, etc. are in range of Reshin's senses. Although Reshin can only strike eight at a time.
Special Note: Only locks onto spiritual beings themselves. Doesn't lock onto random objects made of Reiatsu such as the walls, ground, food, sky, other zanpakutous, etc. And again Sasori-ō no keibetsu can only lock onto any being with in the range of Reshin's spiritual perception. Again even when locked on can only strike eight targets at a single time. If no Reiatsu signature is picked up on then each tail will act off of Reshin's ability to track movement and strike at accordingly as Reshin and his zanpakutou alike act off of his instinct to protect him from danger.
Way to Negate It: The effects of the poison can be overrided by releasing an amount of reiatsu greater than or equal too the total reiatsu used when affected by the poison depending on the number of successful strikes. 1=500, 2=1000, 3=1500, 4= 2000, 5=2500 <------ five times is the number of times I can use this ability when attacking with these tails with Reshin's current power level. one successful strike is equal too 500 reiatsu, two successful strikes is 1000, and etc.
Special Note: In regards to its potency the number of times it can be used will increase the stronger Reshin becomes, but the actual statistics of the ability will remain the same. Again as of right now he can only inject you five times before his attacks become normal strikes. And each successful strike will for one round restrict your ability to use reiatsu unless you release more of it than the poison injected to negate it. Also please remember that I have to give up the same amount of reiatsu as this move can possibly drain from you if you override a single strike. You lose more reiatsu than I do ONLY when struck more than once using this ability.
Summary: Basically you either lose the ability to use your reiatsu for a round per successful strike OR you release an equal or greater amount of reiatsu used to strike while implementing this ability to negate it.
Ability: Survival Instinct - Any time Reshin finds himself in a situation where his body is under great stress Sasori-ō no keibetsu will act independently in an effort to protect Reshin by tapping into his own instinct to try and avoid danger. When this occurs the tails will unfocus on any specific targets and will strike upon any movement Reshin is capable of tracking. This ability can only be used once and cannot be activated unless Reshin's total Reiatsu is dwindled down to at least 20% of his overall Reiatsu total in the beginning of the confrontation. Remains active for one round per 4% of Reiatsu Reshin has left until it dissipates just before the total drops to none to prevent death by expending all of Reshin's Reiatsu. ( Basically for four rounds maximum. )
Summary: This is pretty much here just in case Reshin ever happens to end up in a place where he is clearly in over his head. In cases like this Survival Instinct can allow him to stall out and hopefully be able fight another day.
Overall: Sasori-ō no keibetsu is basically a zanpakutou that responds entirely to Reshin's unconscious instinct as well as his senses. The tails of Sasori-ō no keibetsu act upon what Reshin perceives to be a threat to him and independently move to eliminate that threat. When the tails lock on they work based on what Reshin can sense and attack only that specific target. However if another threat is perceived by Reshin then the tails will unfocus and will strike at the very movement of the new targets. This is how Sasori-ō no keibetsu can attack so efficently while defending at the same time via being able to go after one target after locking on or unfocusing to be able to strike multiple targets at once. Also clarification on the exoskeleton, its even harder than steel, but isn't very dense being only four inches thick all around. So it doesn't pack on much weight so Reshin can maneuver normally without being hindered. Its great at deflecting blunt force attacks as well and covers all of Reshin's torso except his head and his arms. It is really useful when it comes to reducing the chance of fatal blows from physical attacks.
Name: Sasori-ō no keibetsu サソリ王の軽蔑 ( Scorn of the Scorpion King )
Release Command: "Unleash your anger and pierce them with your fury."
Manifestation: A scorpion like human with the body of a man, but possesses multiple scorpion like tails. The outer part of his body having a hard exoskeleton that from much conflict has many battle scars on it. Sasori-ō no keibetsu himself is a complete spitting image of Reshin personality wise, but is far wiser and has much better control of his own emotions. Sasori-ō no keibetsu acts almost as a form of father figure towards Reshin which is understandable since it being apart of Reshin understands his hardships, and wishes to make things as pleasent as possible. Sasori-ō no keibetsu is fiercely protective of Reshin and is easily upset by anything or anyone hindering his shinigami in any way.
Inner World: An infinitely vast desert of bloody sand in which Sasori-ō no keibetsu normally conceals himself until Reshin enters this world. Upon entry Sasori-ō no keibetsu will raise up from the sand and formally greet Reshin with a random thrust from one of his tails to test Reshin's reaction and mark his progress before speaking.
Release Form: When Sasori-ō no keibetsu is called the previous form of Reshin's zanpakutou disappears and then emerges again as a part of his own body. A thin but powerful steel hard exoskeleton covers all of Reshin's upper body from his neck to just below his abdomen. This covering is completely blood red and protrudes like the exoskeleton of an actual scorpion. The exoskeleton being key in stopping lethal strikes to a majority of vital organs and reducing the damage of blunt force attacks. Also eight tails made of the same steel hard substance spans out from his entire back in four rows of two. The tails themselves which are made of the same substance are also blood red. Despite the strength of the substance itself the material that forms it is actually very light allowing quick maneuverability. The length of each tail is approximately 25 feet long and are about six inches thick, but can't change length or width via extending or retracting, although they can move freely in any direction. Each tail obviously are giant versions of a normal scorpions but are not segmented to allow complete freedom of motion by way of greater flexibility. At the end of each tail is a curved, razor sharp needle point about two and a half feet long, but only a tenth of a millimeter thick so they are hard to see. This released form shares similar characteristics with Sasori-ō no keibetsu's physical manifestation in design.
Special note: Before the needle points on the end of each tail is a slight bulge which contains the viles. This bulge is a sphere shape that is only a foot in circumference from where the tails begin to narrow off as you get closer to the needle points. Also the "stingers" on all eight tails are proportional in size. In this case the stinger is 10% of the tails length while the other 90% is the rest of the tail itself.
Ability: Killing Instinct - Each tail contains immense viles of a liquid that causes a similar effect of seki seki rock when injected. When one of these tails strikes the opponent successfully and injects this fluid it acts as a poison that momentarily restricts circulation of spiritual energy, one round for each successful strike. ( 500 Reiatsu is required to use this ability again. Opponent must release at least 500 reiatsu upon being struck to negate a single strike using this ability. ) Each tail locks on to an opposing spiritual entity mere moments after Reshin can sense it. When Reshin focuses on his target the tails will begin to track the movements of that specific body of spiritual pressure indicated by the direction the needles at the end of each tail points. When the body of spiritual pressure leaves the range in which Reshin can sense spiritual pressure then the tails will automatically unfocus and base its own movement to the movement Reshin can perceive. The number of targets that these tails can lock onto depend on how many spiritual entities such as soul reapers, hollows, quincies, advent humans, etc. are in range of Reshin's senses. Although Reshin can only strike eight at a time.
Special Note: Only locks onto spiritual beings themselves. Doesn't lock onto random objects made of Reiatsu such as the walls, ground, food, sky, other zanpakutous, etc. And again Sasori-ō no keibetsu can only lock onto any being with in the range of Reshin's spiritual perception. Again even when locked on can only strike eight targets at a single time. If no Reiatsu signature is picked up on then each tail will act off of Reshin's ability to track movement and strike at accordingly as Reshin and his zanpakutou alike act off of his instinct to protect him from danger.
Way to Negate It: The effects of the poison can be overrided by releasing an amount of reiatsu greater than or equal too the total reiatsu used when affected by the poison depending on the number of successful strikes. 1=500, 2=1000, 3=1500, 4= 2000, 5=2500 <------ five times is the number of times I can use this ability when attacking with these tails with Reshin's current power level. one successful strike is equal too 500 reiatsu, two successful strikes is 1000, and etc.
Special Note: In regards to its potency the number of times it can be used will increase the stronger Reshin becomes, but the actual statistics of the ability will remain the same. Again as of right now he can only inject you five times before his attacks become normal strikes. And each successful strike will for one round restrict your ability to use reiatsu unless you release more of it than the poison injected to negate it. Also please remember that I have to give up the same amount of reiatsu as this move can possibly drain from you if you override a single strike. You lose more reiatsu than I do ONLY when struck more than once using this ability.
Summary: Basically you either lose the ability to use your reiatsu for a round per successful strike OR you release an equal or greater amount of reiatsu used to strike while implementing this ability to negate it.
Ability: Survival Instinct - Any time Reshin finds himself in a situation where his body is under great stress Sasori-ō no keibetsu will act independently in an effort to protect Reshin by tapping into his own instinct to try and avoid danger. When this occurs the tails will unfocus on any specific targets and will strike upon any movement Reshin is capable of tracking. This ability can only be used once and cannot be activated unless Reshin's total Reiatsu is dwindled down to at least 20% of his overall Reiatsu total in the beginning of the confrontation. Remains active for one round per 4% of Reiatsu Reshin has left until it dissipates just before the total drops to none to prevent death by expending all of Reshin's Reiatsu. ( Basically for four rounds maximum. )
Summary: This is pretty much here just in case Reshin ever happens to end up in a place where he is clearly in over his head. In cases like this Survival Instinct can allow him to stall out and hopefully be able fight another day.
Overall: Sasori-ō no keibetsu is basically a zanpakutou that responds entirely to Reshin's unconscious instinct as well as his senses. The tails of Sasori-ō no keibetsu act upon what Reshin perceives to be a threat to him and independently move to eliminate that threat. When the tails lock on they work based on what Reshin can sense and attack only that specific target. However if another threat is perceived by Reshin then the tails will unfocus and will strike at the very movement of the new targets. This is how Sasori-ō no keibetsu can attack so efficently while defending at the same time via being able to go after one target after locking on or unfocusing to be able to strike multiple targets at once. Also clarification on the exoskeleton, its even harder than steel, but isn't very dense being only four inches thick all around. So it doesn't pack on much weight so Reshin can maneuver normally without being hindered. Its great at deflecting blunt force attacks as well and covers all of Reshin's torso except his head and his arms. It is really useful when it comes to reducing the chance of fatal blows from physical attacks.
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Unholy
New Member
Okay for the second ability I took away the passive gain of charges and limited it to one layer. Also the second Gin Ken is intentional and has its own separate costs.
Upon release, the very air and ground all around him suddenly cracks and gives the impression that Dellius is completely covered in a broken mirror. The moment it shatters, Dellius’s entire body grows to 8’4 and is covered in a stony silverish-grey substance and his gauntlets and boots are gone. He no longer wears any clothing except a red Etchū fundoshi that cannot be removed or damaged at all. The substance that covers him is as strong as normal armor, but offers great flexibility. There are red glowing cracks amongst his body and his eyes glow with shining white light.
Dellius now gains two permanent base charges, totaling to 10% of his hakuda stat. He can gain up three additional charges, at 5% each, capping at +25% of his hakuda stat. Additional charges are gained by using Gin Ken or techniques from the hakuda school. When he lands a blow he gains a charge at the end of the round, no more than two per round. All of Dellius' current charges are used up explosively at once upon landing a melee strike, and this detonation of raw strength can even weaken or destroy kidou, or kidou-like effects such as cero, on contact. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuutetsu work in tandem with this ability and do not purge the charges.
Similar to Shinkaku no Kajitsu, Dellius gain charges only he can use his raw strength strictly to defend against attacks and harmful abilities. These charges fortify the substance covering Dellius’s body. This forms a layer of defense. Dellius gains a layer each time the charges of Shinkaku no Kajitsu is used up and the layer is the sum of all the charges used up at the time. The layer is not suspectible to decay, however he must pay 500 reiatsu each turn for every stack of 1000 the layer is worth else they will decay instantly after absorbing a hit. The limit of the layers strength is 75% of his hakuda. When the layer is at maximum strength, whenever it is weakened, it is fortified by any charges that Dellius spends. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuuetsu work in tandem with this ability and does not affect the layer.
Dellius can harness the power of intense vibrations to create powerful shockwaves from any part of his body. This has the power to create violent earthquakes as well as blow away things in his path. He can launch up to three cone-shaped shockwaves a turn, with a max range of 40m; each shockwave costs 10% of his maximum reiatsu. There is also the option of making individual shockwaves stronger by adding another shockwave to it thus increasing its power and the starting size of the cone. A normal shockwave is 4 meters wide, a middle powered one is 8 meters wide and a full powered one is 16 meters.
The attack is indeed the same as the first but it is harnessed differently and to a more vicious effect. Rather than release the powers openly on his foes, Dellius can send quake bubbles within the opponents body by making some contact with the opponent and sending it inside. After a certain amount of time the area where he struck shatters and releases the shockwave. The opponent then experiences the earthquake within their own bodies easily damaging organs and their inner workings. Just like the original Gin Ken, this attack has the same limitations, same costs, and is chargeable. A change in power changes the amount of damage done as well as what part of the body the earthquake is limited to and how long it will be before it goes off. At 5% max reiatsu, the range is simply around where the area is struck and it goes off next turn. At 10% reiatsu, the entire main body part is effected (arm, leg and foot, torso, etc) and it occurs within two turns. At 15% the whole body is effected regardless of where you hit it and its three turns before it goes off. As with the original long range Gin Ken, this does not consume charges upon striking the opponent.
Bankai
Ginsei Kyojin no keimō
(Enlightenment of the Silver Giant)
Ginsei Kyojin no keimō
(Enlightenment of the Silver Giant)
Upon release, the very air and ground all around him suddenly cracks and gives the impression that Dellius is completely covered in a broken mirror. The moment it shatters, Dellius’s entire body grows to 8’4 and is covered in a stony silverish-grey substance and his gauntlets and boots are gone. He no longer wears any clothing except a red Etchū fundoshi that cannot be removed or damaged at all. The substance that covers him is as strong as normal armor, but offers great flexibility. There are red glowing cracks amongst his body and his eyes glow with shining white light.
Ability: Shinkaku no kajitsu (Fruits of Godhood)
Dellius now gains two permanent base charges, totaling to 10% of his hakuda stat. He can gain up three additional charges, at 5% each, capping at +25% of his hakuda stat. Additional charges are gained by using Gin Ken or techniques from the hakuda school. When he lands a blow he gains a charge at the end of the round, no more than two per round. All of Dellius' current charges are used up explosively at once upon landing a melee strike, and this detonation of raw strength can even weaken or destroy kidou, or kidou-like effects such as cero, on contact. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuutetsu work in tandem with this ability and do not purge the charges.
Attack: Yama no shukufuku (Mountain’s blessing)
Similar to Shinkaku no Kajitsu, Dellius gain charges only he can use his raw strength strictly to defend against attacks and harmful abilities. These charges fortify the substance covering Dellius’s body. This forms a layer of defense. Dellius gains a layer each time the charges of Shinkaku no Kajitsu is used up and the layer is the sum of all the charges used up at the time. The layer is not suspectible to decay, however he must pay 500 reiatsu each turn for every stack of 1000 the layer is worth else they will decay instantly after absorbing a hit. The limit of the layers strength is 75% of his hakuda. When the layer is at maximum strength, whenever it is weakened, it is fortified by any charges that Dellius spends. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuuetsu work in tandem with this ability and does not affect the layer.
Attack: Gin Ken(Silver Fist)
Dellius can harness the power of intense vibrations to create powerful shockwaves from any part of his body. This has the power to create violent earthquakes as well as blow away things in his path. He can launch up to three cone-shaped shockwaves a turn, with a max range of 40m; each shockwave costs 10% of his maximum reiatsu. There is also the option of making individual shockwaves stronger by adding another shockwave to it thus increasing its power and the starting size of the cone. A normal shockwave is 4 meters wide, a middle powered one is 8 meters wide and a full powered one is 16 meters.
Attack: Gin Ken(Silver Fist)
The attack is indeed the same as the first but it is harnessed differently and to a more vicious effect. Rather than release the powers openly on his foes, Dellius can send quake bubbles within the opponents body by making some contact with the opponent and sending it inside. After a certain amount of time the area where he struck shatters and releases the shockwave. The opponent then experiences the earthquake within their own bodies easily damaging organs and their inner workings. Just like the original Gin Ken, this attack has the same limitations, same costs, and is chargeable. A change in power changes the amount of damage done as well as what part of the body the earthquake is limited to and how long it will be before it goes off. At 5% max reiatsu, the range is simply around where the area is struck and it goes off next turn. At 10% reiatsu, the entire main body part is effected (arm, leg and foot, torso, etc) and it occurs within two turns. At 15% the whole body is effected regardless of where you hit it and its three turns before it goes off. As with the original long range Gin Ken, this does not consume charges upon striking the opponent.
Ok, sorry for delay but work, turns, grading, and addiction kept holding me back.
There's a lot going on here that won't work, both in-game and out-of-game. Let's tackle OOG first.
When you submit your kai, these are the things you need to include:
Name:
Release Command:
Manifestation:
Form:
Ability/Attack 1:
Ability/Attack 2 (if applicable):
Ability/Attack 3 (if applicable):
I say 'if applicable' because sometimes you have only one or two stronger abilities rather than three well-rounded ones.
You do not need to include special notes, ways to avoid or negate, or tables to delineate what the kai is capable of. Generally, if these things are necessary to the kai, and can't be written into the description of the ability itself, then it's probably too much. So, keep it simple and tell me what your kai does; there's no need to tell me how to counter it because unless you specifically write something along the lines of "it's not counterable" then there already exist abilities to counter it. Also, I won't approve that non-counterable bit.
On to the kai proper, now.
The first problem is that the form is more fitting for a Bankai. You have 8 autonomous weapons with an 8m range and free body armor. They lock on automatically to enemies and attack on their own, independent of your character's own attacks. I can't help but be reminded of Doc Oc from the second Spider-man movie, with the AI tentacles. This is your character's initial release. When you get to Bankai, you can start exhibiting greater connection and similarities to your zan spirit, but here I'm going to have to say you're limited to 1 tail. Attacking 8 targets simultaneously and without conscious thought just isn't something a shikai should be capable of.
By limiting it to 1 tail, we can also justify allowing the armor to stay.
Even if the tail attacks independently from Reshin's will, it still has a guiding stat. You need to designate whether it's zanjutsu or hakuda that guides the tail's speed and strength. Also, reiatsu tracking has range measured in kilometers. You need to designate a more limited/focused range for your tail to pick up on.
The poison... I'm not against the idea of a poison, but I feel like it needs to do something more. Remove the ability to pay an equal amount to negate it. Unless it's a binding (which can be escaped with Fuubi or anti-binding hadou), the victim will need chiyudou or other healing techniques to wipe it out. I'd like you to consider something more... poison-like for your poison to do. Preventing the target from using all reiatsu is too far-reaching. Have it give a definite ailment of some kind to the target, something that isn't an auto-win but that definitely isn't going to make their day.
The second ability is redundant, actually. If your tail can already attack autonomously, why would you pay extra for it to attack autonomously?
So, in its current form, this is Denied.
Resubmit. Mountain's Blessing and GinKen2 are still not acceptable. GinKen2 is set up something like an auto-hit. Basically, it could be activated any time Dellius lands a melee hit, with no risk of a miss. As it is, he can punch someone, hitting between 2x and 3.5x as hard as normal, plus pay 15% rei to incapacitate the target's entire body after a few more rounds. Add in the fact that just by virtue of punching the opponent, Dellius gives himself a shield.
There's a lot going on here that won't work, both in-game and out-of-game. Let's tackle OOG first.
When you submit your kai, these are the things you need to include:
Name:
Release Command:
Manifestation:
Form:
Ability/Attack 1:
Ability/Attack 2 (if applicable):
Ability/Attack 3 (if applicable):
I say 'if applicable' because sometimes you have only one or two stronger abilities rather than three well-rounded ones.
You do not need to include special notes, ways to avoid or negate, or tables to delineate what the kai is capable of. Generally, if these things are necessary to the kai, and can't be written into the description of the ability itself, then it's probably too much. So, keep it simple and tell me what your kai does; there's no need to tell me how to counter it because unless you specifically write something along the lines of "it's not counterable" then there already exist abilities to counter it. Also, I won't approve that non-counterable bit.
On to the kai proper, now.
The first problem is that the form is more fitting for a Bankai. You have 8 autonomous weapons with an 8m range and free body armor. They lock on automatically to enemies and attack on their own, independent of your character's own attacks. I can't help but be reminded of Doc Oc from the second Spider-man movie, with the AI tentacles. This is your character's initial release. When you get to Bankai, you can start exhibiting greater connection and similarities to your zan spirit, but here I'm going to have to say you're limited to 1 tail. Attacking 8 targets simultaneously and without conscious thought just isn't something a shikai should be capable of.
By limiting it to 1 tail, we can also justify allowing the armor to stay.
Even if the tail attacks independently from Reshin's will, it still has a guiding stat. You need to designate whether it's zanjutsu or hakuda that guides the tail's speed and strength. Also, reiatsu tracking has range measured in kilometers. You need to designate a more limited/focused range for your tail to pick up on.
The poison... I'm not against the idea of a poison, but I feel like it needs to do something more. Remove the ability to pay an equal amount to negate it. Unless it's a binding (which can be escaped with Fuubi or anti-binding hadou), the victim will need chiyudou or other healing techniques to wipe it out. I'd like you to consider something more... poison-like for your poison to do. Preventing the target from using all reiatsu is too far-reaching. Have it give a definite ailment of some kind to the target, something that isn't an auto-win but that definitely isn't going to make their day.
The second ability is redundant, actually. If your tail can already attack autonomously, why would you pay extra for it to attack autonomously?
So, in its current form, this is Denied.
Resubmit. Mountain's Blessing and GinKen2 are still not acceptable. GinKen2 is set up something like an auto-hit. Basically, it could be activated any time Dellius lands a melee hit, with no risk of a miss. As it is, he can punch someone, hitting between 2x and 3.5x as hard as normal, plus pay 15% rei to incapacitate the target's entire body after a few more rounds. Add in the fact that just by virtue of punching the opponent, Dellius gives himself a shield.
Regulus
New Member
( Shikai )
Name: Shuryō onikage 狩猟鬼影 ( hunting demon shadow )
Release Command: "Envelope thine enemies light of hope"
Inner World: A world filled with nothing but infinite darkness. Shuryō onikage is a zanpakutou spirit with no definite form, but can alter itself to take on any form. Shuryō onikage is also a spirit who is very solemn, like Reshin, but is very wise and will help its shinigami by any means as long as it guides him on the path it believes is best for Reshin. Shuryō onikage is the only thing Reshin can see in this world, and often appears to Reshin in the form of himself as evidenced from their first encounter after Reshin's slight falling out with Adele.
Released Form: Upon being released darkness will seap from Reshin's zanpakutou and shroud it. Upon the shadows dispersing the blade of his sword will become a pale white with a black insigmia that stands for creator of darkness in kanji on both sides of the blade. The hilt will have a black and white diamond pattern and the blade will extend another foot and the hilt will extend six inches. The guard from its sealed form will no longer be there.
Ability: Kage sōsa 影操作 ( Shadow Manipulation )
The user can create, control, manipulate, materialize and summon darkness produced by Shuryō onikage. By itself, darkness is mostly used to cloud everything into total darkness, but by accessing a dimension of dark energy it can be channeled to a variety of effects, both as an absence of light and a solid substance. The user can also create a variety of constructs and weapons via using this ability. The user of this ability must pay up to 5% of his reiatsu to activate and remains active for four rounds after activation before having to pay the cost again.
Attack: Dākuurufupakku ダークウルフパック ( Dark Wolf Pack )
Reshin pays up to an additional 5% reiatsu to take the shadows Shuryō onikage creates and materializes them into a pack of wolves that number 10 in total. These wolves attack ferociously and do not stop until they have reached their target. Upon making contact with the opponent the wolves will suddenly explode sending hundreds of hail sized debris made of materialized shadows after the opponent. The initial detonation if successful against the opponent causes damage equivalent to 1% of reiatsu for each successful hit with 10% being the max for ten successful hits. Materialized shadow debris that burst out as a result of the initial explosion are similar to normal debris. The wolves can only move equivalent to the speed of Reshin's hohou stat. Can only use when Kage sōsa is active.
Attack: Shadoudoragon シャドウドラゴン ( Shadow Dragon )
Reshin pays up to an additional 2% of his reiatsu to take the shadows Shuryō onikage creates and materializes them into a 20 foot long serpent like dragon that when it makes contact with the opponent attaches itself to any available space of darkness and coil itself around the opponent and remains there for up to two rounds. As long as it is coiled around the opponent they are unable to use shunpo, or any other high speed hohou techniques, without losing control. The dragon is guided by Reshin's hohou stat and can move only as fast as he can and in addition can only affect those whose hohou stat is only 35% higher than his or below ( with in range of detection ). If the opponents hohou stat exceeds that than they are unaffected. Can only use when Kage sōsa is active.
Name: Shuryō onikage 狩猟鬼影 ( hunting demon shadow )
Release Command: "Envelope thine enemies light of hope"
Inner World: A world filled with nothing but infinite darkness. Shuryō onikage is a zanpakutou spirit with no definite form, but can alter itself to take on any form. Shuryō onikage is also a spirit who is very solemn, like Reshin, but is very wise and will help its shinigami by any means as long as it guides him on the path it believes is best for Reshin. Shuryō onikage is the only thing Reshin can see in this world, and often appears to Reshin in the form of himself as evidenced from their first encounter after Reshin's slight falling out with Adele.
Released Form: Upon being released darkness will seap from Reshin's zanpakutou and shroud it. Upon the shadows dispersing the blade of his sword will become a pale white with a black insigmia that stands for creator of darkness in kanji on both sides of the blade. The hilt will have a black and white diamond pattern and the blade will extend another foot and the hilt will extend six inches. The guard from its sealed form will no longer be there.
Ability: Kage sōsa 影操作 ( Shadow Manipulation )
The user can create, control, manipulate, materialize and summon darkness produced by Shuryō onikage. By itself, darkness is mostly used to cloud everything into total darkness, but by accessing a dimension of dark energy it can be channeled to a variety of effects, both as an absence of light and a solid substance. The user can also create a variety of constructs and weapons via using this ability. The user of this ability must pay up to 5% of his reiatsu to activate and remains active for four rounds after activation before having to pay the cost again.
Attack: Dākuurufupakku ダークウルフパック ( Dark Wolf Pack )
Reshin pays up to an additional 5% reiatsu to take the shadows Shuryō onikage creates and materializes them into a pack of wolves that number 10 in total. These wolves attack ferociously and do not stop until they have reached their target. Upon making contact with the opponent the wolves will suddenly explode sending hundreds of hail sized debris made of materialized shadows after the opponent. The initial detonation if successful against the opponent causes damage equivalent to 1% of reiatsu for each successful hit with 10% being the max for ten successful hits. Materialized shadow debris that burst out as a result of the initial explosion are similar to normal debris. The wolves can only move equivalent to the speed of Reshin's hohou stat. Can only use when Kage sōsa is active.
Attack: Shadoudoragon シャドウドラゴン ( Shadow Dragon )
Reshin pays up to an additional 2% of his reiatsu to take the shadows Shuryō onikage creates and materializes them into a 20 foot long serpent like dragon that when it makes contact with the opponent attaches itself to any available space of darkness and coil itself around the opponent and remains there for up to two rounds. As long as it is coiled around the opponent they are unable to use shunpo, or any other high speed hohou techniques, without losing control. The dragon is guided by Reshin's hohou stat and can move only as fast as he can and in addition can only affect those whose hohou stat is only 35% higher than his or below ( with in range of detection ). If the opponents hohou stat exceeds that than they are unaffected. Can only use when Kage sōsa is active.
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Unholy
New Member
Edited
Upon release, the very air and ground all around him suddenly cracks and gives the impression that Dellius is completely covered in a broken mirror. The moment it shatters, Dellius’s entire body grows to 8’4 and is covered in a stony silverish-grey substance and his gauntlets and boots are gone. He no longer wears any clothing except a red Etchū fundoshi that cannot be removed or damaged at all. The substance that covers him is as strong as normal armor, but offers great flexibility. There are red glowing cracks amongst his body and his eyes glow with shining white light.
Dellius now gains two permanent base charges, totaling to 10% of his hakuda stat. He can gain up three additional charges, at 5% each, capping at +25% of his hakuda stat. Additional charges are gained by using Gin Ken or techniques from the hakuda school. When he lands a blow he gains a charge at the end of the round, no more than two per round. All of Dellius' current charges are used up explosively at once upon landing a melee strike, and this detonation of raw strength can even weaken or destroy kidou, or kidou-like effects such as cero, on contact. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuutetsu work in tandem with this ability and do not purge the charges.
By channeling and focusing the natural vibrations that his body emanates to his hand, Dellius can create a keen edge that can not only slice through things normally but can cut away space itself. Whenever he cuts the air with this attack, the scar it creates becomes the epicenter. Everything from the ground to the sky in a 30 meter radius is sucked into itself at the epicenter in two turns pressurizing even the air itself. Afterward, the space restores itself and snaps back in place violently placing things how they were. Buildings and other sturdy things are usually destroyed by the stress and anything that isn't truly secured to anything is sent flying at high speed from the sudden shift and the hurricane like winds produced. It costs 15% of Dellius's reiatsu to use and lasts for two turns.
Dellius can harness the power of intense vibrations to create powerful shockwaves from any part of his body. This has the power to create violent earthquakes as well as blow away things in his path. He can launch up to three cone-shaped shockwaves a turn, with a max range of 40m; each shockwave costs 5% of his maximum reiatsu. There is also the option of making individual shockwaves stronger by adding another shockwave to it thus increasing its power and the starting size of the cone. A normal shockwave is 4 meters wide, a middle powered one is 8 meters wide and a full powered one is 16 meters.
At the cost of some reiatsu, Dellius charges his opponent in a blistering tackle and while it is a melee strike, he only loses one charge while the others remain. , but only one is gained back next turn. The attack range is 40 meters, the speed of the tackle is based on his hakuda and it costs 5% of Dellius's maximum reiatsu.
Bankai
Ginsei Kyojin no keimō
(Enlightenment of the Silver Giant)
Ginsei Kyojin no keimō
(Enlightenment of the Silver Giant)
Upon release, the very air and ground all around him suddenly cracks and gives the impression that Dellius is completely covered in a broken mirror. The moment it shatters, Dellius’s entire body grows to 8’4 and is covered in a stony silverish-grey substance and his gauntlets and boots are gone. He no longer wears any clothing except a red Etchū fundoshi that cannot be removed or damaged at all. The substance that covers him is as strong as normal armor, but offers great flexibility. There are red glowing cracks amongst his body and his eyes glow with shining white light.
Ability: Shinkaku no kajitsu (Fruits of Godhood)
Dellius now gains two permanent base charges, totaling to 10% of his hakuda stat. He can gain up three additional charges, at 5% each, capping at +25% of his hakuda stat. Additional charges are gained by using Gin Ken or techniques from the hakuda school. When he lands a blow he gains a charge at the end of the round, no more than two per round. All of Dellius' current charges are used up explosively at once upon landing a melee strike, and this detonation of raw strength can even weaken or destroy kidou, or kidou-like effects such as cero, on contact. Taikaku Kakougan and Taikaku Chuutetsu work in tandem with this ability and do not purge the charges.
Attack: Gin Kiru (Silver Cut)
By channeling and focusing the natural vibrations that his body emanates to his hand, Dellius can create a keen edge that can not only slice through things normally but can cut away space itself. Whenever he cuts the air with this attack, the scar it creates becomes the epicenter. Everything from the ground to the sky in a 30 meter radius is sucked into itself at the epicenter in two turns pressurizing even the air itself. Afterward, the space restores itself and snaps back in place violently placing things how they were. Buildings and other sturdy things are usually destroyed by the stress and anything that isn't truly secured to anything is sent flying at high speed from the sudden shift and the hurricane like winds produced. It costs 15% of Dellius's reiatsu to use and lasts for two turns.
Attack: Gin Ken(Silver Fist)
Dellius can harness the power of intense vibrations to create powerful shockwaves from any part of his body. This has the power to create violent earthquakes as well as blow away things in his path. He can launch up to three cone-shaped shockwaves a turn, with a max range of 40m; each shockwave costs 5% of his maximum reiatsu. There is also the option of making individual shockwaves stronger by adding another shockwave to it thus increasing its power and the starting size of the cone. A normal shockwave is 4 meters wide, a middle powered one is 8 meters wide and a full powered one is 16 meters.
Attack: Gin ryūsei(Silver Meteor)
At the cost of some reiatsu, Dellius charges his opponent in a blistering tackle and while it is a melee strike, he only loses one charge while the others remain. , but only one is gained back next turn. The attack range is 40 meters, the speed of the tackle is based on his hakuda and it costs 5% of Dellius's maximum reiatsu.
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Evergloam
New Member
Name: Kyuketsuki
Release Phrase: Drink, Kyuketsuki.
Form: When released, Kyuketsuki forces Ren's zanpakutou to shatter into fragments that float around her form. These fragments carry the golden leonine glare of Kyuketsuki's manifestation, as if to watch the transformation of her master. Suddenly, a gust of wind blows around Ren, hiding her features. When the debris subsides, her arms are covered to the elbow in gloves, humming with a dark, malevolent reiatsu akin to a hollow. Ren's gloves are the released form of her shikai. These gloves are made of some mysterious fabric, their soft appearance betraying the steel-like protection they can offer. The gloves primary colour is a deep purple, with lines of black woven throughout their length. On her palm on each glove is the kanji for 'blood.' Her eyes adopt the golden colour of Kyuketsuki's form, with the only other change being a slight voice change. Her quiet voice is accompanied by an ominous voice, the second voice often sounding seductive or taunting.
Manifestation: Kyu, as Ren nicknamed her, is a reagal looking woman with ghostly pale skin. Her lips are a full, bloodied red, her gaze is seductive but predatory in nature, and her elegance knows no bounds in combat. She wears a Gothic design dress of deep purple and crimson, and the same gloves Ren wears when Kyuketsuki is released. Her voice, which can be heard during release, is soft, yet terrifying. Calm, yet fierce. Her personality often changes, from taunting Ren at one moment, to threatening to bleed her friends dry, to being her bff. This leads Ren to believe, like herself, Kyu is mentally unstable.
Inner world: The inner world of Kyuketsuki is a world bathed in perpetual nighttime, with stormclouds hiding any sight of the moon. On top of a high hill overlooking a graveyard rests a large, Gothic mansion. Inside the mansion, the putrid odor of dead bodies fills the air, accompanied by what causes the smell. The carpet is made from stitched torso skins, the furniture from various body parts and bones, and many, many, many human heads mounted on the walls. In the main room of the mansion sits Kyuketsuki, atop a throne made of bones with two human heads attached to the armrests. These heads are, somehow, still alive and often plead for mercy.
Kiss of the Vampire
Ability
The most common trait in vampiric lore is their ability to drain their victim's life esence, primarily via blood. Now, Ren doesn't suck blood, much to Kyu's dismay, but with Kyu's help, can indeed drain her victim's life essence. By paying a solid cost of 300 reiatsu, Kyu bestows the life stealing gift of Vampirism upon Ren. When she makes contact with her gloves, or, per Kyu's demands of keeping tradition, a bite or kiss, she can absorb 1% of her victim's reiatsu to store in Kyu's 'blood pool.' This blood pool can stack up to 5% of an enemy's reiatsu before needing to be released turn after 5% has been absorbed. After 5 turns, Ren's gift of Vampirism fades and cannot be used again for 2 turns.
Strength of the Vampire
Ability
Vampire lore has shown vampires as being inhumanly strong, and such a gift, like vampiric draining, can be bestowed upon Ren by Kyuketsuki. The cost is more dire. By spending 5% of Kyu's blood pool and 15% of her own reiatsu, Ren can transfer up to 25% of her kidou stat to her Hakuda stat for one turn. Once the ability has been used, Ren is unable to use Hakuda techniques until the next turn and unable to use Kidou of any kind (techs that rely on the kidou stat are effected by this) for 3 turns. She can only use [Strength of the Vampire] once per collab/fight.
Bite of the Vampire
Ability
Though not a true bite, Ren's final ability does pack a bite for her kidou. By paying 1.5x the normal cost of a Hadou, Kyuketsuki imbues her own strength into the Hadou, improving it's strength, duration or range by 50%. Hadou that require direct contact, such as Hadou #5, Demon Fist, the Hadou's strength is further increased to 75% instead of 50%. Activating this ability has no cooldown and may be used once every turn.
Release Phrase: Drink, Kyuketsuki.
Form: When released, Kyuketsuki forces Ren's zanpakutou to shatter into fragments that float around her form. These fragments carry the golden leonine glare of Kyuketsuki's manifestation, as if to watch the transformation of her master. Suddenly, a gust of wind blows around Ren, hiding her features. When the debris subsides, her arms are covered to the elbow in gloves, humming with a dark, malevolent reiatsu akin to a hollow. Ren's gloves are the released form of her shikai. These gloves are made of some mysterious fabric, their soft appearance betraying the steel-like protection they can offer. The gloves primary colour is a deep purple, with lines of black woven throughout their length. On her palm on each glove is the kanji for 'blood.' Her eyes adopt the golden colour of Kyuketsuki's form, with the only other change being a slight voice change. Her quiet voice is accompanied by an ominous voice, the second voice often sounding seductive or taunting.
Manifestation: Kyu, as Ren nicknamed her, is a reagal looking woman with ghostly pale skin. Her lips are a full, bloodied red, her gaze is seductive but predatory in nature, and her elegance knows no bounds in combat. She wears a Gothic design dress of deep purple and crimson, and the same gloves Ren wears when Kyuketsuki is released. Her voice, which can be heard during release, is soft, yet terrifying. Calm, yet fierce. Her personality often changes, from taunting Ren at one moment, to threatening to bleed her friends dry, to being her bff. This leads Ren to believe, like herself, Kyu is mentally unstable.
Inner world: The inner world of Kyuketsuki is a world bathed in perpetual nighttime, with stormclouds hiding any sight of the moon. On top of a high hill overlooking a graveyard rests a large, Gothic mansion. Inside the mansion, the putrid odor of dead bodies fills the air, accompanied by what causes the smell. The carpet is made from stitched torso skins, the furniture from various body parts and bones, and many, many, many human heads mounted on the walls. In the main room of the mansion sits Kyuketsuki, atop a throne made of bones with two human heads attached to the armrests. These heads are, somehow, still alive and often plead for mercy.
Kiss of the Vampire
Ability
The most common trait in vampiric lore is their ability to drain their victim's life esence, primarily via blood. Now, Ren doesn't suck blood, much to Kyu's dismay, but with Kyu's help, can indeed drain her victim's life essence. By paying a solid cost of 300 reiatsu, Kyu bestows the life stealing gift of Vampirism upon Ren. When she makes contact with her gloves, or, per Kyu's demands of keeping tradition, a bite or kiss, she can absorb 1% of her victim's reiatsu to store in Kyu's 'blood pool.' This blood pool can stack up to 5% of an enemy's reiatsu before needing to be released turn after 5% has been absorbed. After 5 turns, Ren's gift of Vampirism fades and cannot be used again for 2 turns.
Strength of the Vampire
Ability
Vampire lore has shown vampires as being inhumanly strong, and such a gift, like vampiric draining, can be bestowed upon Ren by Kyuketsuki. The cost is more dire. By spending 5% of Kyu's blood pool and 15% of her own reiatsu, Ren can transfer up to 25% of her kidou stat to her Hakuda stat for one turn. Once the ability has been used, Ren is unable to use Hakuda techniques until the next turn and unable to use Kidou of any kind (techs that rely on the kidou stat are effected by this) for 3 turns. She can only use [Strength of the Vampire] once per collab/fight.
Bite of the Vampire
Ability
Though not a true bite, Ren's final ability does pack a bite for her kidou. By paying 1.5x the normal cost of a Hadou, Kyuketsuki imbues her own strength into the Hadou, improving it's strength, duration or range by 50%. Hadou that require direct contact, such as Hadou #5, Demon Fist, the Hadou's strength is further increased to 75% instead of 50%. Activating this ability has no cooldown and may be used once every turn.
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Reshin's Shuyou Onikage - Approved with changes:
Dellius' Ginsei Kyojin no Keimou - Approved with Changes:
Ren's Kyuketsuki - Approved with Changes:
Dellius' Ginsei Kyojin no Keimou - Approved with Changes:
Ren's Kyuketsuki - Approved with Changes:
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Initial Awakening for Nenshou Mouko
[ Ryouhi ] - "Companion Flame"
[ Manifestation ]
In a flash of energy, two tigers coalesce from Mouko's energy. Their fur is a soft vermilion, slightly translucent, allowing others to see the swirling energy held within. The tigers are intangible by nature, capable only of being interacted with naturally by Mouko herself. When an ability is in use, the energy within their forms glows, giving them the appearance of being aflame. Their physical speed is considered akin to that of a normal tiger.
[ Yaru ] - "Kill" (0% Resonance)
Paying 800 of her reiatsu per use, Mouko infuses one of her tiger companions with energy. They become tangible to the world around them, gaining half of her attacking stat for the purposes of a single attack. If the attack misses, or the tiger is damaged significantly, the ability ends and it reverts to an intangible state.
[ Karu ] - "Hunt" (0% Resonance)
Paying 3% of her reiatsu per use, Mouko infuses one of her tiger companions with energy. They remain intangible, but gain speed inherent to Mouko's own until the ability is dispersed or exchanged for Yaru. While in use, Mouko may use her Agility techniques through the affected tiger while mounted, or off of the affected tiger as a platform.
[ Naru ] - "Roar" (25% Resonance)
As Mouko's ability to manipulate and utilize reiryoku becomes more natural, she becomes capable of discharging it violently through Naru. Paying 10% of her reiatsu, she discharges an explosion of energy around her or one of her created companions for a 10m radius.
True Awakening for Nenshou Mouko
[ Ryoushi Sousei ] - "Twin Hunters"
[ Manifestation ]
The twin tigers of her Initial Awakening become permanent, their forms consolidated and fuelled by the power of Mouko’s True Awakening. Their fur gains a flame-like quality, flaring and waning with their own spiritual strength. They gain an inherent sentience akin to that of a loyal pet, their primal instincts allowing them to function without direct orders.
Upon reaching True Awakening, Mouko distributes the reiatsu bonus gained from True Awakening directly to the summons’ reiatsu as well as 30% of her base reiatsu. Ryou and Ishi automatically possess stats equal to 20% of Mouko’s base reiatsu, in addition to the paid amount. Mouko’s Resonance then caps, and is unable to rise beyond 50%. The summons gain their own Resonance bar equal to 25% of Mouko's base reiatsu, accounting for the other half of her Resonance.
Upon the summons reaching 100% Resonance, both they and Mouko enter Overdrive and gain access to their Overdrive Ability. Upon creation, each tiger is given a respective spread for their stats, listed below:
[ Houkatsu ] - "Inclusion" (50% Resonance)
Upon entering True Awakening, Mouko may share a single base technique apiece to her summons. These must be selected and declared upon creation of the summon. Changing a shared technique requires Mouko to pay 3% of her reiatsu per change, and may only change a summon’s shared technique once per round.
[ Sabetsu ] - "Distinction" (50% Resonance)
Paying 1% of their reiatsu, Ryou or Ishi may increase or decrease their size to within a 15m height. Once paid, the size change may only be reversed by repaying the cost of the ability.
[ Kakusan ] - "Diffusion" (50% Resonance)
Paying 20% of their reiatsu, Ryou or Ishi may create a single clone the same size as them. This clone has stats equal to half of the respective creator’s, and are distributed according to the summon which created it. This clone then lasts the following round before dissipating.
If the clone merges with one of the original summons, or another clone, its reiatsu is given to the other, but subtracts the amount of reiatsu regained in Resonance.
[ Tenka ] - "Ignition" (50% Resonance)
Paying 10% of their reiatsu, Mouko or her summons may set themselves aflame. The flame is harmless to them, and is capable of melting through solid stone. This coating of flame serves as both a weapon and shield, the amount paid in acting as its durability and output. The ability degrades normally as per barrier rules.
[ Senbu Gachan ] - "Apex Crash" (100% Resonance)
The terrifying realization of the nature of her soul, Mouko's Overdrive Ability may be used once Ryou & Ishi have fulfilled their half of Mouko's Resonance. Paying 10% of her reiatsu, Ryou & Ishi are subsumed, using all of their remaining reiatsu as additional power for the attack.
Clasping her hands together, she concentrates her energy into a single point between them before unleashing it outwards. Depending on how she releases the attack, it can be unleashed at various angles.
The ability itself is two-fold, bearing both a powerful wave of energy capable of vaporizing all in its path, and a heady psychological impact in the form of a spectral tiger lunging at the opponent, with those who witness the ability's use struck by an innate sense of panic.
[ Ryouhi ] - "Companion Flame"
[ Manifestation ]
In a flash of energy, two tigers coalesce from Mouko's energy. Their fur is a soft vermilion, slightly translucent, allowing others to see the swirling energy held within. The tigers are intangible by nature, capable only of being interacted with naturally by Mouko herself. When an ability is in use, the energy within their forms glows, giving them the appearance of being aflame. Their physical speed is considered akin to that of a normal tiger.
[ Yaru ] - "Kill" (0% Resonance)
Paying 800 of her reiatsu per use, Mouko infuses one of her tiger companions with energy. They become tangible to the world around them, gaining half of her attacking stat for the purposes of a single attack. If the attack misses, or the tiger is damaged significantly, the ability ends and it reverts to an intangible state.
[ Karu ] - "Hunt" (0% Resonance)
Paying 3% of her reiatsu per use, Mouko infuses one of her tiger companions with energy. They remain intangible, but gain speed inherent to Mouko's own until the ability is dispersed or exchanged for Yaru. While in use, Mouko may use her Agility techniques through the affected tiger while mounted, or off of the affected tiger as a platform.
[ Naru ] - "Roar" (25% Resonance)
As Mouko's ability to manipulate and utilize reiryoku becomes more natural, she becomes capable of discharging it violently through Naru. Paying 10% of her reiatsu, she discharges an explosion of energy around her or one of her created companions for a 10m radius.
True Awakening for Nenshou Mouko
[ Ryoushi Sousei ] - "Twin Hunters"
[ Manifestation ]
The twin tigers of her Initial Awakening become permanent, their forms consolidated and fuelled by the power of Mouko’s True Awakening. Their fur gains a flame-like quality, flaring and waning with their own spiritual strength. They gain an inherent sentience akin to that of a loyal pet, their primal instincts allowing them to function without direct orders.
Upon reaching True Awakening, Mouko distributes the reiatsu bonus gained from True Awakening directly to the summons’ reiatsu as well as 30% of her base reiatsu. Ryou and Ishi automatically possess stats equal to 20% of Mouko’s base reiatsu, in addition to the paid amount. Mouko’s Resonance then caps, and is unable to rise beyond 50%. The summons gain their own Resonance bar equal to 25% of Mouko's base reiatsu, accounting for the other half of her Resonance.
Upon the summons reaching 100% Resonance, both they and Mouko enter Overdrive and gain access to their Overdrive Ability. Upon creation, each tiger is given a respective spread for their stats, listed below:
| Ryou: Combat: 70% Agility: 10% Fortitude: 20% | Ishi: Combat: 10% Agility: 70% Fortitude: 20% |
[ Houkatsu ] - "Inclusion" (50% Resonance)
Upon entering True Awakening, Mouko may share a single base technique apiece to her summons. These must be selected and declared upon creation of the summon. Changing a shared technique requires Mouko to pay 3% of her reiatsu per change, and may only change a summon’s shared technique once per round.
[ Sabetsu ] - "Distinction" (50% Resonance)
Paying 1% of their reiatsu, Ryou or Ishi may increase or decrease their size to within a 15m height. Once paid, the size change may only be reversed by repaying the cost of the ability.
[ Kakusan ] - "Diffusion" (50% Resonance)
Paying 20% of their reiatsu, Ryou or Ishi may create a single clone the same size as them. This clone has stats equal to half of the respective creator’s, and are distributed according to the summon which created it. This clone then lasts the following round before dissipating.
If the clone merges with one of the original summons, or another clone, its reiatsu is given to the other, but subtracts the amount of reiatsu regained in Resonance.
[ Tenka ] - "Ignition" (50% Resonance)
Paying 10% of their reiatsu, Mouko or her summons may set themselves aflame. The flame is harmless to them, and is capable of melting through solid stone. This coating of flame serves as both a weapon and shield, the amount paid in acting as its durability and output. The ability degrades normally as per barrier rules.
[ Senbu Gachan ] - "Apex Crash" (100% Resonance)
The terrifying realization of the nature of her soul, Mouko's Overdrive Ability may be used once Ryou & Ishi have fulfilled their half of Mouko's Resonance. Paying 10% of her reiatsu, Ryou & Ishi are subsumed, using all of their remaining reiatsu as additional power for the attack.
Clasping her hands together, she concentrates her energy into a single point between them before unleashing it outwards. Depending on how she releases the attack, it can be unleashed at various angles.
The ability itself is two-fold, bearing both a powerful wave of energy capable of vaporizing all in its path, and a heady psychological impact in the form of a spectral tiger lunging at the opponent, with those who witness the ability's use struck by an innate sense of panic.
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bankzu
Member
[SIZE=+1][[/SIZE] Φ[SIZE=+1] Sealed form[/SIZE] Φ[SIZE=+1]][/SIZE]
Although the blade is just a decoration, the might of this young boy’s zanpakutou shouldn’t be forgotten. The length of the katana is nothing special – a mere 60 cm blade with a hilt that has a third of its length. A sakura-shaped guard defines the asauchi to what it is - an object of simplicity and beauty.
[SIZE=+1][[/SIZE] Φ [SIZE=+1]Inner world [/SIZE]Φ[SIZE=+1]][/SIZE]
Kyoujin resides in a small grassy area that only has a few trees and a tiny house as decoration. The house is somewhat smaller than a one bedroom apartment and is where the spirit resides. Both the grass and the leaves give off a bright green color.
[SIZE=+3].[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+3]始解[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+2]Shi Kai[/SIZE]
"Initial Release”
かげのようにしずか - きょうじん
Kageno you ni Shizuka - Kyoujin
"Silent like a shadow – Assassin’s Dagger”
Seen by:
Kamenashi Yuurei
Honokaguchi Mitsuhito
Tod Kenly
Okamii Igasho
[SIZE=+1][[/SIZE] Φ[SIZE=+1] Manifestation [/SIZE]Φ[SIZE=+1]][/SIZE]
Appearing to be an elderly man, Kyoujin looks a lot like Eiji. His buff body makes him look just like the brute that is his owner. The elder man is almost completely bald, except for the pony-tail that runs from the back of his head down to his shoulders. Just like his hair, the grand beard that he let grow has a bright white color. Wearing a shihakusou just like the dark-haired shinigami, Kyoujin is probably an older version of Eiji.
[SIZE=+1][ [/SIZE]Φ[SIZE=+1] Form [/SIZE]Φ[SIZE=+1]][/SIZE]
After releasing his zanpakutou, it completely vanishes. By grabbing the hilt with both hands, the young shinigami utters the release phrase and Kyoujin is released. The katana transforms into a pair of katars that the boy wears on each hand.
The weapon turns into a tri-blade, with two longer blades to the sides, and a shorter one in the middle.
The weapon turns into a tri-blade, with two longer blades to the sides, and a shorter one in the middle.
[SIZE=+1][[/SIZE] Φ[SIZE=+1]Abilities [/SIZE]Φ[SIZE=+1]][/SIZE]
かげそち
[ Kagesochi ]
"Shadow Step"
Kyoujin's abilities are complementary to the art of assassination. Remaining unnoticed, striking swiftly, silently, and leaving without a trace. All of these principles are core to Kyoujin's modus operandi. Kagesochi in particular is a prime example of why Eiji's zanpakutou excels at silent killing. At the cost of 5% of his reiatsu per use, Eiji can enter a nearby shadow and move to another almost instantly. Each step is instant and can traverse up to 50m per turn. Kyoujin must wait two turns to perform another Kagesochi.
ひぐれいけん
[ Higureiken ]
"Dusk Blade"
Kyoujin's skills work synergistically with each other, ensuring that every strike deals the greatest possible damage in the shortest amount of time; a good assassin works fast, after all. Higureiken accomplishes this much-desired synergy by passively imbuing Eiji's blade with reiatsu whenever Kagesochi is active. When striking an opponent from the shadows, Eiji's attacks gain bonus damage equal to 15% of his Hakuda (this stacks with the existing damage from melee attacks). Each attack dealt by Higureken costs Eiji 15% of his hakuda in reiatsu.
Upon reaching True Awakening, Mouko distributes the reiatsu bonus gained from True Awakening directly to the summons’ reiatsu as well as 30% of her base reiatsu.
The cap is TA bonus + 25% for AH, or BK bonus + 15% for shini -- as a result, the max is 75% of your stats in your summon(s).
Sorry for complicating the symmetry but change that to 25% and it's approved. Note that each tiger in TA can only use one of those abilities (summons allow for two, and even though you have two summons, that doesn't double how many different abilities you can give them).
Approved. As a note, the base damage of a melee strike is 10% of the attacking stat.
Chef Bryardee
King of Condiments
Zenkai Hamayumi
Release Name
Gedichte Grimm or Shiteki Gekido (詩的激怒, Poetic Fury)
Form
Upon manifestation, Gedichte Grimm becomes a solid bow of what seems to be pure obsidian. The stock is plain and narrow rectangle with filleted edges, and the limbs are flat and curved like the two halves of a crescent. A round scope sits atop, with the crosshairs in the form of a pentacle. The grip is round, short, and curves back from the end of the barrel; despite its appearance, the weapon doesn’t function as such. There is no drawstring or trigger, with the arrows being fired at the will of Rudo.
Ability
Using the entirety of his Shuuhaku, Rudo is able to fire a single arrow per round at three times his maximum range. The arrow may be overcharged, but requires one-round cooldown in this case. The damage is extremely explosive, and is capable of demolishing three city blocks with a single volley.
Release Name
Gedichte Grimm or Shiteki Gekido (詩的激怒, Poetic Fury)
Form
Upon manifestation, Gedichte Grimm becomes a solid bow of what seems to be pure obsidian. The stock is plain and narrow rectangle with filleted edges, and the limbs are flat and curved like the two halves of a crescent. A round scope sits atop, with the crosshairs in the form of a pentacle. The grip is round, short, and curves back from the end of the barrel; despite its appearance, the weapon doesn’t function as such. There is no drawstring or trigger, with the arrows being fired at the will of Rudo.
Ability
Using the entirety of his Shuuhaku, Rudo is able to fire a single arrow per round at three times his maximum range. The arrow may be overcharged, but requires one-round cooldown in this case. The damage is extremely explosive, and is capable of demolishing three city blocks with a single volley.
Denied. In one ability you are 1) amping the damage 4x-6x, 2) amping the range 3x, 3) amping the damage radius to around 180-300m (depending on the size of the city blocks, which are not a uniform measurement), essentially ensuring that you will always blow yourself up by firing this arrow, and 4) stating that you can overcharge it without any explanation as to how much or what it changes. Could Rudo decide to use 100% of his remaining reiatsu for one giga-shot (with a one-round cooldown to offset it, of course)?
Also, post the Sanrei ability with your submission, please.
Chef Bryardee
King of Condiments
Sanrei Hamayumi
Release Name
Grimm or Gekido (激怒, Fury)
Form
Rudo’s initial bow comes in the form of a simple bow made of light---albeit opaque light.
Ability
The arrows fired by Gedichte Grimm are highly volatile. A single arrow carries the explosive force of several pounds of dynamite, able to level even the most fortified of structures. This effect diminishes, however, when several arrows are fired simultaneously with the total cost being spread among all the arrows fired. The usage of any arrows, regardless of the amount fired, pulls an amount equal to 7% of his Reiatsu from his Shuuhaku pool. Additionally, Rudo can delay the detonation of each arrow after impact. Whether or not they miss their target, arrows that aren't destroyed after firing can remain intact and armed for up to 2 rounds and can be detonated at Rudo's will as long as he is within 15 meters of it.
Zenkai Hamayumi
Release Name
Gedichte Grimm or Shiteki Gekido (詩的激怒, Poetic Fury)
Form
Upon manifestation, Gedichte Grimm becomes a solid bow of what seems to be pure obsidian. The stock is plain and narrow rectangle with filleted edges, and the limbs are flat and curved like the two halves of a crescent. A round scope sits atop, with the crosshairs in the form of a pentacle. The grip is round, short, and curves back from the end of the barrel; despite its appearance, the weapon doesn’t function as such. There is no drawstring or trigger, with the arrows being fired at the will of Rudo.
Ability
Once per round, Rudo is able to fire a single arrow at three times his maximum range. Each arrow retains the same explosive properties as those of his Sanrei bow, Grimm, and can be overcharged to a maximum of 15% using raw Reiatsu. The overcharging enhances the damage radius, but no the range, and requires a one-round cooldown afterward.
Release Name
Grimm or Gekido (激怒, Fury)
Form
Rudo’s initial bow comes in the form of a simple bow made of light---albeit opaque light.
Ability
The arrows fired by Gedichte Grimm are highly volatile. A single arrow carries the explosive force of several pounds of dynamite, able to level even the most fortified of structures. This effect diminishes, however, when several arrows are fired simultaneously with the total cost being spread among all the arrows fired. The usage of any arrows, regardless of the amount fired, pulls an amount equal to 7% of his Reiatsu from his Shuuhaku pool. Additionally, Rudo can delay the detonation of each arrow after impact. Whether or not they miss their target, arrows that aren't destroyed after firing can remain intact and armed for up to 2 rounds and can be detonated at Rudo's will as long as he is within 15 meters of it.
Zenkai Hamayumi
Release Name
Gedichte Grimm or Shiteki Gekido (詩的激怒, Poetic Fury)
Form
Upon manifestation, Gedichte Grimm becomes a solid bow of what seems to be pure obsidian. The stock is plain and narrow rectangle with filleted edges, and the limbs are flat and curved like the two halves of a crescent. A round scope sits atop, with the crosshairs in the form of a pentacle. The grip is round, short, and curves back from the end of the barrel; despite its appearance, the weapon doesn’t function as such. There is no drawstring or trigger, with the arrows being fired at the will of Rudo.
Ability
Once per round, Rudo is able to fire a single arrow at three times his maximum range. Each arrow retains the same explosive properties as those of his Sanrei bow, Grimm, and can be overcharged to a maximum of 15% using raw Reiatsu. The overcharging enhances the damage radius, but no the range, and requires a one-round cooldown afterward.
L
littlepriests
Guest
Name: Amidha
Release Phrase: Bath the unbelievers in your infinite light, Amidha!
Form: Upon release, the wind rises and the light shimmers with intensity, forcing most bystanders to take their eyes away from the figure of the Russian even if only for a split second. Hence, Ole keeps his left hand on the hilt of the katana and move the right hand away. By doing so the hilt itself lengthen, until the mathematician is left armed with a naginata, with the same colors and appearance of the former sword.
Manifestation: Amidha is a Buddha-like statue cast in bronze. Sitting upright in meditation, it is sometimes possible to see its eyes open, showing fiery luminous orbs of pure white. The voice does not come directly from the statue, but it comes as if spoken by different people from different directions. At times it speaks in riddles, others in rhymes, often with plain statements of universal truth. Calm and serenity drips from her demeanour in waves. The centered nature of the spirit should not be misunderstood, for it hands out advices and punishments with the same composure.
Inner world: The inner world of the Buddha is a representation of the Pure Land which is accessible only for the worthy souls. A bright yet suffused light is always present, tinging every object in radiance. Nature itself rejoices, and both fauna and flora are at a peak: perpetual spring is a reality. In the middle of the bucolic scene, a simple wooden temple rests unguarded. At the centre of the large hall of the temple, Amidha sit in contemplation of the universe, undisturbed by the birds flying around his head.
Karma
[Ability]
Narrative: What goes around comes around. The cause-effect chain of events that is at the base of reality cannot be broken unless the enlightened being severs the shackles that keep him ground to the world of the passions. If not, he is doomed to be anchored even more.
Rationale: Any time Ole lands a hit or is hit by an attack or ability, he can pay a flat cost of 100 reiatsu to mark that enemy. Once an enemy had been marked any action that requires Reiatsu is more taxing. Any expenditure of Reiatsu is multiplied by 150% of its usual cost. The excess paid, that is 50% of the original cost, is moved to Ole’s. This pool cannot exceed 10% Reiatsu. Whenever the ability is active a serene Buddha is seen circling the marked subject.
Dharma
[Ability]
Narrative: Reality is created by laws which are real as long as belief in them exists. By meditating on this truth, it is possible to force reality to accept additional laws and shape the world to an extent.
Rationale: By paying 5% Reiatsu, Ole is able to impose on an adversary a single law that forces a single physical action. This power may not be used for an action that causes direct harm. A two turns cooldown is necessary between uses.
Release Phrase: Bath the unbelievers in your infinite light, Amidha!
Form: Upon release, the wind rises and the light shimmers with intensity, forcing most bystanders to take their eyes away from the figure of the Russian even if only for a split second. Hence, Ole keeps his left hand on the hilt of the katana and move the right hand away. By doing so the hilt itself lengthen, until the mathematician is left armed with a naginata, with the same colors and appearance of the former sword.
Manifestation: Amidha is a Buddha-like statue cast in bronze. Sitting upright in meditation, it is sometimes possible to see its eyes open, showing fiery luminous orbs of pure white. The voice does not come directly from the statue, but it comes as if spoken by different people from different directions. At times it speaks in riddles, others in rhymes, often with plain statements of universal truth. Calm and serenity drips from her demeanour in waves. The centered nature of the spirit should not be misunderstood, for it hands out advices and punishments with the same composure.
Inner world: The inner world of the Buddha is a representation of the Pure Land which is accessible only for the worthy souls. A bright yet suffused light is always present, tinging every object in radiance. Nature itself rejoices, and both fauna and flora are at a peak: perpetual spring is a reality. In the middle of the bucolic scene, a simple wooden temple rests unguarded. At the centre of the large hall of the temple, Amidha sit in contemplation of the universe, undisturbed by the birds flying around his head.
Karma
[Ability]
Narrative: What goes around comes around. The cause-effect chain of events that is at the base of reality cannot be broken unless the enlightened being severs the shackles that keep him ground to the world of the passions. If not, he is doomed to be anchored even more.
Rationale: Any time Ole lands a hit or is hit by an attack or ability, he can pay a flat cost of 100 reiatsu to mark that enemy. Once an enemy had been marked any action that requires Reiatsu is more taxing. Any expenditure of Reiatsu is multiplied by 150% of its usual cost. The excess paid, that is 50% of the original cost, is moved to Ole’s. This pool cannot exceed 10% Reiatsu. Whenever the ability is active a serene Buddha is seen circling the marked subject.
Dharma
[Ability]
Narrative: Reality is created by laws which are real as long as belief in them exists. By meditating on this truth, it is possible to force reality to accept additional laws and shape the world to an extent.
Rationale: By paying 5% Reiatsu, Ole is able to impose on an adversary a single law that forces a single physical action. This power may not be used for an action that causes direct harm. A two turns cooldown is necessary between uses.
Resubmit. Okay, this gives us a little more to work with, but here's the problem: the way it's written, the extra cost and cooldown is only incurred if Rudo overcharges the arrow. This would mean that Rudo, when using his Zenkai Hamayumi (as he will be every time he fights after attaining it), at no cost, can have a permanent range increase of mammoth proportions. There would never be a situation where Rudo should be hit, because theoretically, he should be 3x further than any other ranged attack can hope to hit him.
What I'd like to see: create an ability, with a cost and effect, and consider increased range as an aspect of that shot.
A 'Command' kai... These are always tricky. Not only is there the mechanical side of "what is balanced?" but also there's the collab-side concern of "are people likely to play along?" Emotion manipulation, illusions, and commands require a certain level of trust between writers to get good play out of them. Keep that in mind.
Now, I'm going to refer you to a previously-approved shikai that utilized 'command' as its theme.
http://www.mangaden.net/forum/showt...ssion-Thread&p=1186251&viewfull=1#post1186251
“Command”
The warrior prince is a cunning adversary who perceives into the psyche of his opponent when they are locked in combat. After a time, the prince will develop an impression of his opponent, one that he can use against that person in the way only a prince can – command. The warrior prince is able to give Hayato the knowledge of his opponent to issue an irresistible command.
The warrior prince requires 5% of Hayato’s reiatsu for each command he issues and will only allow him to make a command that forces a single physical action. The warrior prince will not place his power behind any command to cause direct harm (harm resulting indirectly from the command not included) and refuses to place his power behind more than 1 command every 3 turns. The command is ineffective if a target is further than 10 meters away.
The warrior prince is a cunning adversary who perceives into the psyche of his opponent when they are locked in combat. After a time, the prince will develop an impression of his opponent, one that he can use against that person in the way only a prince can – command. The warrior prince is able to give Hayato the knowledge of his opponent to issue an irresistible command.
The warrior prince requires 5% of Hayato’s reiatsu for each command he issues and will only allow him to make a command that forces a single physical action. The warrior prince will not place his power behind any command to cause direct harm (harm resulting indirectly from the command not included) and refuses to place his power behind more than 1 command every 3 turns. The command is ineffective if a target is further than 10 meters away.
This was a single-ability shikai (allowing it to be more powerful in exchange for its lack of versatility), but while it has the same cost, it still boasts shorter range and a greater cooldown.
The kai you've just submitted has this, and to your credit, it's almost word-for-word with the approved version. I would like to see a range restriction, but 10m may be too short. A two-turn cooldown -- meaning Ole could only issue a command every third turn -- I could see as viable. What is not viable, however, is stacking on the rei muffler.
If you wanted to pursue the other ability, some things to note: a flat cost (100) cannot result in a percentile effect. As written, the opponent only needs to use an ability costing at least 67 reiatsu, and you have already met your investment. Everything after that is 'profit.' With no restriction on what it affects, no duration, and no limitation, it's not approvable in its current form.
Resubmit. You can emphasize the command aspect, making it a single-ability kai, or you can weaken the command and rework Karma to try to strike a balance.
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L
littlepriests
Guest
Okie dokie RESUB
Name: Amidha
Release Phrase: Bath the unbelievers in your infinite light, Amidha!
Form: Upon release, the wind rises and the light shimmers with intensity, forcing most bystanders to take their eyes away from the figure of the Russian even if only for a split second. Hence, Ole keeps his left hand on the hilt of the katana and move the right hand away from the hilt. By doing so the hilt itself lengthen, and the blade doubles in length, until the mathematician is left armed with a nodachi, with the same colors and appearance of the former sword. Moreover, a white segmented sode appears on his right shoulder.
Manifestation: Amidha is a Buddha-like statue cast in bronze. Sitting upright in meditation, it is sometimes possible to see its eyes open, showing fiery luminous orbs of pure white. The voice does not come directly from the statue, but it comes as if spoken by different people from different directions. At times it speaks in riddles, others in rhymes, often with plain statements of universal truth. Calm and serenity drips from her demeanour in waves. The centered nature of the spirit should not be misunderstood, for it hands out advices and punishments with the same composure.
Fun fact: the statue talks just like Yoda, the ancient Jedi master.
Inner world: The inner world of the Buddha is a representation of the Pure Land which is accessible only for the worthy souls. A bright yet suffused light is always present, tinging every object in radiance. Nature itself rejoices, and both fauna and flora are at a peak: perpetual spring is a reality. In the middle of the bucolic scene, a simple wooden temple rests unguarded. At the centre of the large hall of the temple, Amidha sit in contemplation of the universe, undisturbed by the birds flying around his head.
Karma
[Ability]
Narrative: What goes around comes around. The cause-effect chain of events that is at the base of reality cannot be broken unless the enlightened being severs the shackles that keep him ground to the world of the passions. If not, he is doomed to be anchored even more.
Rationale: Any time Ole lands a hit or is hit by an attack or ability, he can pay 5% of his reiatsu to mark that enemy. Once an enemy had been marked any action that requires reiatsu is more taxing. Any expenditure of reiatsu is multiplied by 150% of its usual cost. The excess paid, that is 50% of the original cost, is moved to a pool capping at 10%. The payment may never be higher than the residual pool itself. Whenever the ability is active a serene Buddha is seen circling the marked subject, his inner luminescence a measure of the amount of reiatsu contained within.
Dharma
[Ability]
Narrative: Reality is created by laws which are real as long as belief in them exists. By meditating on this truth, it is possible to force reality to accept additional laws and shape the world to an extent.
Rationale: Preferring a fluid style over static combat, Ole is able to control the blade through a telekinetic link upon release. This control is limited to a radius of 15 meters around the former monk, but allows for greater flexibility, through attacking and parrying maintaining his hands free, as well as allowing the Russian to use his weapon as a platform, or in some cases something like a hover board. Moreover, the reiatsu stored in Karma may be used to empower the sode or the nodachi.
- Ditched the 'command' aspect
- reviewed Karma
- new Dharma
- slight change in form
Name: Amidha
Release Phrase: Bath the unbelievers in your infinite light, Amidha!
Form: Upon release, the wind rises and the light shimmers with intensity, forcing most bystanders to take their eyes away from the figure of the Russian even if only for a split second. Hence, Ole keeps his left hand on the hilt of the katana and move the right hand away from the hilt. By doing so the hilt itself lengthen, and the blade doubles in length, until the mathematician is left armed with a nodachi, with the same colors and appearance of the former sword. Moreover, a white segmented sode appears on his right shoulder.
Manifestation: Amidha is a Buddha-like statue cast in bronze. Sitting upright in meditation, it is sometimes possible to see its eyes open, showing fiery luminous orbs of pure white. The voice does not come directly from the statue, but it comes as if spoken by different people from different directions. At times it speaks in riddles, others in rhymes, often with plain statements of universal truth. Calm and serenity drips from her demeanour in waves. The centered nature of the spirit should not be misunderstood, for it hands out advices and punishments with the same composure.
Fun fact: the statue talks just like Yoda, the ancient Jedi master.
Inner world: The inner world of the Buddha is a representation of the Pure Land which is accessible only for the worthy souls. A bright yet suffused light is always present, tinging every object in radiance. Nature itself rejoices, and both fauna and flora are at a peak: perpetual spring is a reality. In the middle of the bucolic scene, a simple wooden temple rests unguarded. At the centre of the large hall of the temple, Amidha sit in contemplation of the universe, undisturbed by the birds flying around his head.
Karma
[Ability]
Narrative: What goes around comes around. The cause-effect chain of events that is at the base of reality cannot be broken unless the enlightened being severs the shackles that keep him ground to the world of the passions. If not, he is doomed to be anchored even more.
Rationale: Any time Ole lands a hit or is hit by an attack or ability, he can pay 5% of his reiatsu to mark that enemy. Once an enemy had been marked any action that requires reiatsu is more taxing. Any expenditure of reiatsu is multiplied by 150% of its usual cost. The excess paid, that is 50% of the original cost, is moved to a pool capping at 10%. The payment may never be higher than the residual pool itself. Whenever the ability is active a serene Buddha is seen circling the marked subject, his inner luminescence a measure of the amount of reiatsu contained within.
Dharma
[Ability]
Narrative: Reality is created by laws which are real as long as belief in them exists. By meditating on this truth, it is possible to force reality to accept additional laws and shape the world to an extent.
Rationale: Preferring a fluid style over static combat, Ole is able to control the blade through a telekinetic link upon release. This control is limited to a radius of 15 meters around the former monk, but allows for greater flexibility, through attacking and parrying maintaining his hands free, as well as allowing the Russian to use his weapon as a platform, or in some cases something like a hover board. Moreover, the reiatsu stored in Karma may be used to empower the sode or the nodachi.
- Any multiple of 1% may be recovered from the pool to put up a last resort barrier.
- Any multiple of 1% may be recovered from the pool to strengthen the sword, which will be able to crush more efficiently barriers, cut kidou and kidou-like abilities in two (through the use of Ittouryoudan techniques and the like), or just add to the power of the next attack.
Priests;
Denied:
Karma:
Paying 5% of your reiatsu to multiply the costs of anyone you hit (or who hits you) by 1.5x for an indefinite period of time is not going to fly on its own. Add to the fact that this already-overpowered ability also returns a great deal of reiatsu to you and we're looking at something that just isn't acceptable.
If you want to go this route, you're going to need to tone it way down. Cost is proportional to return. If you want them to pay more, you need to give something up of equal value. Right now, there are no checks or balances. You don't need to hit them, the mark doesn't fade or decay, you don't repay for each of their abilities affected by Karma, and there's no counterplay once you've been marked. And then you get the difference back, which makes the cost negligible.
If you want this to work, you're going to have to do a few things. Firstly, this should be on-hit ONLY, meaning 'Ole actually has to strike someone to activate it rather than just any time he hits or is hit. Risk versus reward, my friend. Secondly, it should affect an ability per use, not every ability the person uses from then on, or at the very least have some sort of defined turn limit. Thirdly, its effect should be proportional to its cost. 5% for 5%. If you want to pay such a low amount and have them pay 1.5x the kai as a whole needs to lose elsewhere; you need to give things up and balance the strengths if you want a big return. Fourth, the mark, as stated above, should have a defined time limit and not be indefinite. And lastly, the reiatsu drain should basically be removed if you want the above effects. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Not right now, anyways.
Dharma:
As with Karma, you're trying to get away with too much for too little. This thing is basically a jacked-up, invisible version of Shoauku Jukutatsu, with better range, that allows your character to fight using his zanpakutou and his fists. That would be strong enough to be an ability on its own, but then you've tacked two more onto it -- a variable cost barrier and a variable cost melee attack, both of which can be essentially free assuming you've stored up reiatsu from Karma.
As Karma is definitely going to have to change, Dharma ceases to be valid as its use is based off of a reiatsu pool that shouldn't exist. That being said, as a rule of thumb, it's generally frowned upon to roll multiple abilities into one and try to submit that as a single thing.
All in all, this is going to need some work. There's too much to cover in this post alone but if you need some help, feel free to message me on AIM and we can try to bash this into a workable form
Denied:
Karma:
Paying 5% of your reiatsu to multiply the costs of anyone you hit (or who hits you) by 1.5x for an indefinite period of time is not going to fly on its own. Add to the fact that this already-overpowered ability also returns a great deal of reiatsu to you and we're looking at something that just isn't acceptable.
If you want to go this route, you're going to need to tone it way down. Cost is proportional to return. If you want them to pay more, you need to give something up of equal value. Right now, there are no checks or balances. You don't need to hit them, the mark doesn't fade or decay, you don't repay for each of their abilities affected by Karma, and there's no counterplay once you've been marked. And then you get the difference back, which makes the cost negligible.
If you want this to work, you're going to have to do a few things. Firstly, this should be on-hit ONLY, meaning 'Ole actually has to strike someone to activate it rather than just any time he hits or is hit. Risk versus reward, my friend. Secondly, it should affect an ability per use, not every ability the person uses from then on, or at the very least have some sort of defined turn limit. Thirdly, its effect should be proportional to its cost. 5% for 5%. If you want to pay such a low amount and have them pay 1.5x the kai as a whole needs to lose elsewhere; you need to give things up and balance the strengths if you want a big return. Fourth, the mark, as stated above, should have a defined time limit and not be indefinite. And lastly, the reiatsu drain should basically be removed if you want the above effects. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Not right now, anyways.
Dharma:
As with Karma, you're trying to get away with too much for too little. This thing is basically a jacked-up, invisible version of Shoauku Jukutatsu, with better range, that allows your character to fight using his zanpakutou and his fists. That would be strong enough to be an ability on its own, but then you've tacked two more onto it -- a variable cost barrier and a variable cost melee attack, both of which can be essentially free assuming you've stored up reiatsu from Karma.
As Karma is definitely going to have to change, Dharma ceases to be valid as its use is based off of a reiatsu pool that shouldn't exist. That being said, as a rule of thumb, it's generally frowned upon to roll multiple abilities into one and try to submit that as a single thing.
All in all, this is going to need some work. There's too much to cover in this post alone but if you need some help, feel free to message me on AIM and we can try to bash this into a workable form
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