Recent content by swaswj

Note: Follow-up to The Seventh Vice Ignominious Wordcount: 1,659 "Reckoning time, boys." The office of the Banker of the Seventh Vice had seemed grandiose, almost monumental, far too large for the solitary man behind the desk and filled with unnecessary lavishness. Gold and silver and...

Note: Follow-up to Reforged The Seventh Vice Wordcount: 1,267 The Little City within the Grand Metropolis was host to many different factions, and over the decades power changed frequently. Collectively, the powers that ran the Lupanar District were known as the Nefastus, and although not...

Note: Follow-up to Sinister Reforged Wordcount: 1,091 Ting! Ting! Ting! The mechanized hammer fell again and again, filling the forge with the music of metal on metal. Keydis stood in front of the machine, covered in sweat after a long day's work. She held a pair of tongs in one hand...

Note: Follow-up to Remodeling Sinister Wordcount: 1,072 A long hallway cast in shadow, with dim red light flickering near the end. Candles under foggy red glass near the ceiling provided just enough light to show that the hallway branched in two directions. Those who knew took the turn to...

That little note at the start really wasn't necessary. It's all storytelling, and getting to know the characters is part of telling a good story. I actually really appreciated getting to know this crew a little better. We had kind of a handle on Tes already, but this let us dig a little bit...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 610: The Boss’ Hospitality by Deni Perfide.

Apologies for how long this has taken. Together with missing that it was posted for the first week or two, every time I sat down to start reading, something else would rear up and take priority. The wordcount gave me pause, but this chapter still managed to fly right by. The pacing was handled...

Chapter 4, Part 2 Wordcount, 2597 "Ohh no…." The voice seemed distant, like he was underwater and someone was shouting from shore. "No, no, no, this is bad. Damn, this is bad!" Someone grabbed his wrist, then put a hand to his forehead. "Kade! Kade, can you hear me?" Slowly, Kade opened his...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 606: Professor Visuri by Deni Perfide.

Chapter 04: Prophecy Part 1 Wordcount, 2306 Over the following days, the city was buzzing with activity. While no citizens of Tulorildril had been injured in the attack, wild rumors flew that Honorast or Beladhell or both would be coming to destroy the entire island nation. People swarmed up to...

Chapter 3, Part 3 Wordcount, 2716 Kade's eyes shot open and he sucked in a sharp breath. He was on his back on something hard and stiff, somewhere inside. For a long moment, he just lay there, watching shadows dance on the rafters above him. Finally, he slowly lifted himself up and looked...

Incredible build-up of tension. Positioning this story from Tes' perspective and allowing us to see how others view Deni is a great way to remind the reader just how much he's capable of. When we're in Deni's mind, we get to see a lot of his insecurities and see when he's bluffing and when he's...

Hm. Was I mistaken about where this takes place..? Reading back through Shadows 1-3, there are references to Valmoor having misty streets and mouldering tombs, so I thought this to be the Valmoor (aka Vahlmore) that Rob created as the home and kingdom of Rosa. He also called it the City of...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 605: The Boss by Deni Perfide.

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 604: The Great Blight (Prologue) by MoonlitRain014.