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User name: Inks Crawl Once, when you were thirteen, one of your friends (Johnathan Brooks, his mother called him Johnny and everyone else called him Jon) double-dared you to climb the grand old oak tree in the center of Ridgeland Park. It was a stupid dare. For one, the oak wasn’t just a...

Er. /scritches Hi? I'm out of practice with comments n' critique, but I said I'd say SOMETHING so ENJOY THIS HOT MESS As per usual with your writing, I go into it meaning to 'do you a favor' reading a chapter and offering my thoughts, and then like a half-second later I'm chewing through the...

FLIP OUT NOW, OH GOD JESUS MARY AND JOE-BOB naw but fo real SO I HEARD THAT THERE WAS A PEE-EMS, AND AS THE LEAST QUALIFIED PERSON TO DO SO, I AM GONNA BE LIKE, GRA--I MEAN COMMENT...ING....THAT SHIT. And by ‘grade’ I mean ‘make idle comments about your character’s personality and the Thing...

Word count [1,533] «VII Sors Eloquii Aequoris wasn’t sure what he was doing, lately. When he’d agreed (sort of) to tail Keydis and Annora in their flight from Terminus, he’d been imagining an adventure. He’d also been imagining not ending up in a reinforced prison cell for the rest of his...

ER not sure this is the right week but I'ma post this here so sorry Perspectives (2000) These chapter-spanning little briefs into Eos’s growth, as well as the shifts and changes in Eos and Mesan’s relationship, over the years is really very clever, ya know. =o There were a lotta ways you...

Infinite Possibilities (2000) Another cool, interesting chapter, and I am happy to see another Eos-growth chapter. I was half-expecting some sorta weird one-week-Eos, one-week-Dawn back and forth, and was trying to mentally prepare myself for the confusion. But this, I like! I remember...

[PM] The Counterattack (1250) So, um, I honestly don’t have a lot I think I can say about your posts here, other than you did a great job setting a scene that let the rest of the CAST, if ya will, take the reins and sorta plotty-chat it up from there. Which is I mean a good thing in this...

Visualize (2800) As you commented in our private chattin', I really liked the way Bellator magic is likened to a lock and key -- and YOU ARE RIGHT, I can easily see El having learned his spells with the same metaphor. I also pointed out, I think, in our chat that it seems a BIT odd that you did...

Dawn (1250) Ohh, it was only that many words -- I was wondering why it FELT so short! So, you already asked for my initial thoughts/commentary, WHICH I GAVE YOU -- and really, I’m not sure if I gotta whole heck of a lot more to say. It’s pretty obvious (I HOPE) that Eos = Dawn, and if that IS...

Seven Keep (2600) Oh, was this really that many words?? It felt like fewer, somehow. @-@ I guess it's a pretty quick read, though, given that it's mostly a stage-setting chapter for what will HOPEFULLY be some good n' interesting character development and/or magic training montages. I like the...

Moving On (1800) Hahaha oops sorry I somehow forgot how time works and what day it was SO UH. LATE GRADE. Anywho! Overall I liked this chapter -- it read smoothly, fast, and (unless I am mistaken) did its job wrapping up the ends of the little daemon mini-plot and getting Mesan and Eos to their...

Tempestas (2800) Don't take my short commentary as a sign I didn't like this chap, I AM JUST FEELING VERY DOWN AND TIRED TODAY. In fact, I think this miiiiiight be my favorite chapter so far. There are a few bit here and there where I feel the action broke a tiny bit (specifically the climax...

Silent Terror Heyo, gonna go right ahead and apologize in advance fer short-ish comments this time around. I feel MOSTLY better but still a bit BLEGH overall. I just wanna get this graded before I have a chance to forget again. >8T Overall, I liked this chapter bunches -- there's a good pace...

Red Felucca Sorry this is a bit late (LATER EVEN than I thought it would be, I forgot that this was top priority until I was in the middle of makin’ soup just now GDI SELF). Another good chapter, good writing – I am totally getting a jaunty fantasy-ish vibe from your chapters, ATM, not sure if...

The Power of Observation (2200) Eos is a smart little shit, isn't she? In a way, I'd feel too stressed to write a character like her -- it's hard enough to strike a balance with genius-vs-youth in normal young prodigies (*LOOKS AT PERSEUS*). Doing that with a character as young as Eos seems...

Word Count [1700] His workshop stood dark, lit only by the twin moons and a streetlamp some ways down the street, when Perseus returned. He stared up at the building with apprehension. He felt a bit at a loss, but his thoughts churned, churned, churned. PIA was in pieces in a rucksack...

Will [200 / 200] The Lessons Begin [4000] [200 / 200] Not a WHOLE lot to say on this chapter, other than refreshing my statement that Eos is supercute, the storytelling is supergood, and everything feels so comfy cheery that I am literally going to be ready for any horrible terrible curveball...

Will Fireside Story [4000] [395 / 400] Hehe, this was a very cute chapter, and I can see now how it got away from you -- Mesan’s story was a nicely-done little Romeo-and-Juliet-but-with-Dinosaurs. Eos continues to be an adorable, tiny little shit, and while I know I KNOW she’s supposed to be a...

Leaving Home (2200) assuming direct control of your grading template inkin_park [8:30 PM] I LIKED CHAPTER 2 MORE THAN 1. which is good cause 1 was already pretty good [9:23] Also, like I said, I totally thought you hit your stride more in this chapter. Maybe the characters already being...

WILL GRADES FOR WILL Ahaha oh my god I am like half-awake so please forgive me in advance for whatever is about to happen below, I woke up like...thiiiiirty minutes ago? WHENEVER I ASKED YOU THE THING. dont ask how long i slept DON'T ASK HOW LONG I SLEPT ...but I wanted to get this done and...