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It took me a moment to realize I was reading a musical XD Realizing that, I read through it asking myself, "what do I hear and see?" I can see the narrator giving some dubious characters skulking around the stage a side-eye. Next I see the difference between Sahin and her co..."workers", and a...

Sup dawg. I like how you've shown what The Emerald Jewel is right after using that placename, so if the reader didn't remember, they do now. The conversation with his familiar is a nice way to show what's going on inside Chase's head without a monologue. My favourite part here was how you showed...

PTSD, survivor's guilt, impostor syndrome, reasoning your way out of an emotional hole but acknowledging that it's still there... all woven together to give a real good look inside a person's head. That's some heavy stuff you've written about, and I think you've handled that weight well :) Why...

Writing endings is something I want to focus on, so if you've got any tips and tricks to share, that'll be extra appreciated :)

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Aq] Week 203: Keep Your Eyes Peeled by Pho.

[1080 words] The morning after family dinner, Mille packed his things and made his way along rope bridges from tree to tree to another house nearby. Here, a slightly older, slightly taller male with green plumage awaited him, leaning against their door. He had a green and red crest with a few...

That was a good read! :D I like how Inillus takes advantage of his physically hardened nature to try to rescue the moth, instead of simply killing it. That's a great way to show compassion. In the second paragraph I see that there's some stubbornness and pleading going on, but who's resisting...

Yeah I thought that using the present tense for the first couple of paragraphs would be a cool way to describe the setting. Then Will pointed out that I was tense slipping, so I tried out changing the whole thing to present tense to see how it goes. I definitely find it odd too, since I'm using...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for [Aq] Week 201: Dinner Time! by Pho.

(1117 words) A gentle breeze carrying the smell of salt flows inland, across the emerald waters of the Chlorae Ocean lapping at the shore, over a shallow beach of golden sand and up into the trees that mark the beginning of the new Boreas Forest. The sun, Caesar has just fallen below the...

Sample Chapter: A gentle breeze carrying the smell of salt flows inland, across the emerald waters of the Chlorae Ocean lapping at the shore, over a shallow beach of golden sand and up into the trees that mark the beginning of the new Boreas Forest. The sun, Caesar has just fallen below the...

User name: Pho Common Name: Mille Piscatus, meaning "Thousand Catches" True Name: Nof he, meaning "Red Foot" (Often shortened to Nof, meaning "Red") Age: 20 Race: Enlil (Avian) If Spurii, Select Bloodlines: N/A Racial Trait: Enlil - Feather Fall (Aerial Gliding) Persona: Mille grew up in...

Tabawara Udo, Ninth Division, Unseated Grade: 45*1.1=50 Reiatsu: 11 184 ~ Aether Blade ~ 12 302 ~ Zanjutsu: 4443 Hakuda: 31 Hohou: 3355 Kidou: 3355 Kidou Slots: 9 + 2(Week 165) + 1(Week 195) +1(Week 211) = 13 total -Genshi - Hadou #14, 100 Kidou -Hiashi - Hadou #16, 120 Kidou...

Old: Tabawara Udo, Eighth Division, Sixth Seat Reiatsu: 11 080 ~ Aether Blade ~ 12 188 ~ Zanjutsu: 4401 Hakuda: 31 Hohou: 3324 Kidou: 3324 Kidou Slots: 9 + 2(Week 165) + 1(Week 195) +1(Week 211) = 13 total -Tsuzuri Raiden - Hadou #11, 80 Kidou -Genshi - Hadou #14, 100 Kidou...

It's just a bit awkward really, trying to cast something like Break of Dusk or Amagoi while holding onto a sword.

EDIT: Please add a third paragraph to the Trained Feats section under the Feat Types section in the Feats thread in the Rules forum as follows: "When you transfer from one division (or equivalent) to another, you may keep one of your old division techniques in a trained feat slot." My...

I noticed that Legacy Techs are missing from the Feats thread, and figured Raph just forgot about them.

Pho as Tabawara Udo Minja as Hikaru Miyazaki “Sheesh, the neko sure is persistent.” Hikaru groaned sourly and looked over his shoulder as he ducked into a small tavern. His sensei Adele Pierce had been chasing him all day screaming about training since she picked him up from the fourth. Hikaru...

Could you guys add the bit about waiving somatic components to Kenkyouka? It's the final bit of polishing needed.

Pho as Tabawara Udo Shady as Yin Feng For quite some time, there was a question that sat in the back of Udo's mind, one that Kago had asked him some time ago. He had asked, "What does it mean to be a spell-blade?" Such a simple question, but no simple answer. Udo wasn't really so sure. The...