GM Review Thread

[K3]

GM Reviewing my Overdrive for a minor edit:

* SEFUCHI
The absolute essence of spiritual energy consumes Arano as his power over shadow surpasses mortal bonds, their very shape and purpose bent to his will. Shedding the entirety of his Resonance, Arano assumes direct control over all shadows within a 15m radius, in addition to any shadows previously under his control as well as his Manifestation.

While under his control, the shadows are subject to every one of his abilities at his whim, activated by paying their full cost with the manipulation lasting two rounds before ending. Arano is capable of simultaneously wielding any of the shadows he commands effortlessly. He has absolute control over two viciously barbed shadow tendrils, not affected by multiple-weapon control rules, in addition to any other shadow tendrils he can create.

Edited To:

* SEFUCHI
The absolute essence of spiritual energy consumes Arano as his power over shadow surpasses mortal bonds, their very shape and purpose bent to his will. Shedding the entirety of his Resonance, Arano assumes direct control over all shadows within a 15m radius, in addition to any shadows previously under his control as well as his Manifestation.

While under his control, the shadows are subject to every one of his abilities at his whim, activated by paying their full cost with the manipulation lasting two rounds before ending. Arano is capable of simultaneously wielding any of the shadows he commands effortlessly. He may maintain absolute control over two constructs no larger than himself, not affected by multiple-weapon control rules, in addition to any other shadow constructs he can create.

 

[swaswj]

GM Reviewing my Overdrive for a minor edit:



Edited To:

* SEFUCHI
The absolute essence of spiritual energy consumes Arano as his power over shadow surpasses mortal bonds, their very shape and purpose bent to his will. Shedding the entirety of his Resonance, Arano assumes direct control over all shadows within a 15m radius, in addition to any shadows previously under his control as well as his Manifestation.

While under his control, the shadows are subject to every one of his abilities at his whim, activated by paying their full cost with the manipulation lasting two rounds before ending. Arano is capable of simultaneously wielding any of the shadows he commands effortlessly. He may maintain absolute control over two constructs no larger than himself, not affected by multiple-weapon control rules, in addition to any other shadow constructs he can create.

Denied.

I realize what you're going for here, but no.

 

[switch5]

Subbing 2 BK abilities for minor edits for clarity/making abilities overlap less (Shade said subbing these here would be best):

old

The Orange Sword - Gluttony:

With this sword drawn Amaya must pay 5% of her reiatsu a turn. Each turn she does so the blade doubles in width, and grows a foot longer. Additionally any kidou spell or reiatsu based attack that comes into contact with the blade that's cost is less that the amount of reiatsu invested in it is nullified.

While in the presence of gluttony one feels deeply famished. Their thoughts will often drift to food, water, or whatever else they love in excess.

The Purple Sword - Pride:

This blade's ability may only be unlocked for 20% of Amaya's reaitsu. In doing so Amaya becomes covered in blistering purple flames, that burn anything they touch. These flames completely negate all energy based attacks that are less than the amount paid. Additionally Amaya's zanjutsu stat is increased by this amount. This ability only lasts for 2 turns, and can only be used again if the sword is sheathed for at least 3 turns.

While observing pride, and its effects on Amaya, it suddenly becomes difficult for an onlooker to resist standing up to Amaya. Her attacks are suddenly invitations to deflect them, her openings are invitations to attack, her taunts are more than just words, and her insults are truly insulting.

New:


The Orange Sword - Gluttony:

With this sword drawn Amaya must pay 5% of her reiatsu a turn. Each turn she does so the blade doubles in width, and grows a foot longer. Additionally any kidou spell or reiatsu based attack that comes into contact with the blade that's cost is less that the amount of reiatsu invested in it is nullified. As it grows the weight of gluttony never changes to Amaya, which allows her to wield the blade even no matter how large it grows in size

While in the presence of gluttony one feels deeply famished. Their thoughts will often drift to food, water, or whatever else they love in excess.

The Purple Sword - Pride:

This blade's ability may only be unlocked for 20% of Amaya's reaitsu. In doing so Amaya becomes covered in blistering purple flames, that burn anything they touch. These flames completely negate all abilities and spells that restrict or manipulate her movements and thoughts. Additionally Amaya's zanjutsu stat is increased by this amount. This ability only lasts for 2 turns, and can only be used again if the sword is sheathed for at least 3 turns.

While observing pride, and its effects on Amaya, it suddenly becomes difficult for an onlooker to resist standing up to Amaya. Her attacks are suddenly invitations to deflect them, her openings are invitations to attack, her taunts are more than just words, and her insults are truly insulting.


----Changes are in bold----

 

[Several Zombies]

The Orange Sword - Gluttony:

With this sword drawn Amaya must pay 5% of her reiatsu a turn. Each turn she does so the blade doubles in width, and grows a foot longer. Additionally any kidou spell or reiatsu based attack that comes into contact with the blade with a worth less than the total cost of reiatsu paid into Gluttony is nullified. As the sword is in essence, a part of Amaya's Bankai, she is able to wield it with ease no mater how large it grows.

While in the presence of gluttony one feels deeply famished. Their thoughts will often drift to food, water, or whatever else they love in excess.

Edited for clarity's sake, since I had to read the effect twice to see what you were trying to do. As for the size factor, much like everyone else's Bankai, Gluttony is one facet of the embodiment of your Zanpakutou, which in itself is a part of Amaya. Whether it weighed as much as one sword or a thousand, she'd never have trouble wielding it, making the edit mostly a non-issue. Just look at some of the MASSIVE Bankai in HD's history to see what I mean.


Next up, Pride. Now THIS one, we're gonna have some problems with. Kai staff must have been on a coke bender because this thing does way too much. Gonna have to hit it with the balance bat, mein freund.

The Purple Sword - Pride:

Upon drawing this blade, Amaya imbues Pride 20% of her current reiatsu. By activating the blade's ability, Amaya's form becomes engulfed by blistering purple flames. These flames serve to shield her from abilities that would bind, restrict, manipulate or otherwise affect her body or mind. Effects that are negated by this ability have their costs deducted from the initial cost paid to activate Pride. Once the initial amount is depleted, Amaya loses this resistance and must sheath the blade for a round before being able to reactivate its effect.

While observing pride, and its effects on Amaya, it suddenly becomes difficult for an onlooker to resist standing up to Amaya. Her attacks are suddenly invitations to deflect them, her openings are invitations to attack, her taunts are more than just words, and her insults are truly insulting.

So. Firstly, this thing was way too efficient before. 20% may be a steep cost, but to be immune to any and all binding, slowing, hallucinogenic -- basically ANY debuff ability -- is really damn strong. Then to get a pretty negligible cooldown AND a 20% Zanjutsu buff? (buff abilities have since been abolished by Kai staff)

Nah, that dog won't hunt.

This one is a little more normalized. You pay 20% into pride, and effects that would debuff you are reduced from that amount. It works until you hit 0% of what you paid, at which point the effect ends, meaning you have to put it away for a round to reactivate.

 

[Lady Stumble]

eh, I know I just had this approved recently, but after convincing Arun that I didn't want to go this route, I realize that I actually do. Changes are bolded. In the changed form, it allows more flexibility.

original Chiron's Touch

[Chiron's Touch]
Thaleia has never been attuned to the demon arts, but her experience as a warrior and her time with the Fourth gave her ample time to study the human body. Focusing her study on the way the it channels energy, Thaleia can now manipulate it utilizing pressure points.

Thaleia gains five open slots in which she can equip altered chiyudou spells. The five slots function similar to kidou slots, causing spells to take up an equivalent number according to their level. By paying the reiatsu cost of the spell and touching a pressure point, Thaleia can cast the spell on the target without an incantation. For channeled spells, she must continuously touch at least one pressure point per turn. Spells cast in this manner do not drain from Thaleia’s threshold and can be modified by any other chiyudou modifying abilities. It does not, however, require the Chiyudo Division Technique. All other chiyudou channeling apply. Spells cast in this manner detract from Thaleia’s total number of spell casts per turn.

The spells she can equip depend on relatively realistic physical limitations. For example, she cannot equip spells that magically close wounds, but she can equips spells that lower blood pressure (like Pressure Seal). In addition, the spells are altered to comply with these physical limitations depending on their original form. For example, AoE spells become targeted spells.

[Chiron's Touch]
Thaleia has never been attuned to the demon arts, but her experience as a warrior and her time with the Fourth gave her ample time to study the human body. Focusing her study on the way the it channels energy, Thaleia can now manipulate it utilizing pressure points.

Thaleia gains five open slots in which she can equip altered chiyudou spells. The five slots function similar to kidou slots, causing spells to take up an equivalent number according to their level. By paying the reiatsu cost of the spell and touching a pressure point, Thaleia can cast the spell on the target without an incantation. For channeled spells, she must continuously touch at least one pressure point per turn. Spells cast in this manner do not drain from Thaleia’s threshold and can be modified by any other chiyudou modifying abilities. It does not, however, require the Chiyudo Division Technique. All other chiyudou channeling apply. Spells cast in this manner detract from Thaleia’s total number of spell casts per turn.

The spells she can equip depend on relatively realistic physical limitations. For example, she can equip spells that magically close wounds, but she cannot equip spells like Stretcher of Spirit Stich. In addition, the spells are altered to comply with these physical limitations depending on their original form. For example, AoE spells become targeted spells.

 

[Several Zombies]

Seems fine to me. Approved.

 

[Nekomaru Kuma]

Okay, I need to do a little tweaking on Rokuro's kai.

First: posting of the kai.

Second: approval and buff of the kai.

Third: current write-up of the kai with stuff to change bolded.

current write-up of the kai with stuff to change bolded.

[Name]
Bokugyo

[Release Phrase]
"Lash out, Bokugyo"

[Inner World]
Rokuro's inner world consists of an endless sea covered by fog. The surface of the sea, although covered in waves, is solid enough for the man to stand on.

[Manifestation]
Always lurking below the sea, Bokugyo appears to Rokuro as little more than a shadow, shrouded in the fog.

[Form]
Bokugyo takes the form of a chain-flail of total length one meter. Halfway along its length, the primary chain splits into 10 tributary chains tipped with rhomboidal blades. At the other end, rather than a grip, Bokugyo terminates in a cuff around Rokuro's wrist.

[Abilities]
Ability 1 - Ikanosumi: For 200 reiatsu, Bokugyo releases a harmless smoke cloud from the tributary chains. The cloud has a diameter of 15 meters and reduces Visibility to virtually nothing. The cloud dissipates after 5 turns.

Ability 2 - Shokushu: By paying 100 reiatsu, the primary chain may be extended up to 20 meters from the cuff. The chain retracts when given slack.

Ability 3 - Kyuuban: In exchange for 200 reiatsu, the tributary chains of Bokugyo adhere strongly to whatever they come into contact with for one turn. The adhesion may be renewed for additional turns by paying an additional 200 reiatsu each turn.

[Vizard Attack]
Ikanodoku: For 10% of Rokuro's reiatsu, and 10% of his rage, Bokugyo generates 5% emptiness and produces a gas cloud 15 meters in diameter. This cloud obscures vision and causes minor damage to people other than Rokuro when inhaled. It dissipates after 5 turns.

Proposed changes:
Ability 3 - Kyuuban: In exchange for 5% of Rokuro's reiatsu, the tributary chains of Bokugyo adhere strongly to whatever they come into contact with for one turn. The adhesion may be renewed for additional turns by paying an additional 5% each turn.

[Vizard Attack]
Gone.

Reasons for changes:
The third ability can be broken by pretty much everybody and their mother. That will still be the case with this change, but at least there's room for it to grow. As for the vizard attack, this kai was approved before the split between bankai and resurrection paths was created. the resurrection path is the one I want, and it doesn't allow a vizard attack. I've never used it anyway, so it might as well never have happened.

 

[swaswj]

Okay, I need to do a little tweaking on Rokuro's kai.

First: posting of the kai.

Second: approval and buff of the kai.

Third: current write-up of the kai with stuff to change bolded.

current write-up of the kai with stuff to change bolded.

[Name]
Bokugyo

[Release Phrase]
"Lash out, Bokugyo"

[Inner World]
Rokuro's inner world consists of an endless sea covered by fog. The surface of the sea, although covered in waves, is solid enough for the man to stand on.

[Manifestation]
Always lurking below the sea, Bokugyo appears to Rokuro as little more than a shadow, shrouded in the fog.

[Form]
Bokugyo takes the form of a chain-flail of total length one meter. Halfway along its length, the primary chain splits into 10 tributary chains tipped with rhomboidal blades. At the other end, rather than a grip, Bokugyo terminates in a cuff around Rokuro's wrist.

[Abilities]
Ability 1 - Ikanosumi: For 200 reiatsu, Bokugyo releases a harmless smoke cloud from the tributary chains. The cloud has a diameter of 15 meters and reduces Visibility to virtually nothing. The cloud dissipates after 5 turns.

Ability 2 - Shokushu: By paying 100 reiatsu, the primary chain may be extended up to 20 meters from the cuff. The chain retracts when given slack.

Ability 3 - Kyuuban: In exchange for 200 reiatsu, the tributary chains of Bokugyo adhere strongly to whatever they come into contact with for one turn. The adhesion may be renewed for additional turns by paying an additional 200 reiatsu each turn.

[Vizard Attack]
Ikanodoku: For 10% of Rokuro's reiatsu, and 10% of his rage, Bokugyo generates 5% emptiness and produces a gas cloud 15 meters in diameter. This cloud obscures vision and causes minor damage to people other than Rokuro when inhaled. It dissipates after 5 turns.

Proposed changes:
Ability 3 - Kyuuban: In exchange for 5% of Rokuro's reiatsu, the tributary chains of Bokugyo adhere strongly to whatever they come into contact with for one turn. The adhesion may be renewed for additional turns by paying an additional 5% each turn.

[Vizard Attack]
Gone.

Reasons for changes:
The third ability can be broken by pretty much everybody and their mother. That will still be the case with this change, but at least there's room for it to grow. As for the vizard attack, this kai was approved before the split between bankai and resurrection paths was created. the resurrection path is the one I want, and it doesn't allow a vizard attack. I've never used it anyway, so it might as well never have happened.

The change in cost is approved.

You misunderstand the Hybrid/Hollowfied split, though. That's only meant to impact the Bankai level.

Although it says 'no bonus to shikai,' that refers to the extra boost to shikai gained in bankai (rising from +10% to +20%), since it reflects a greater bond with the zanpakuto spirit.

You still get a hollow attack in Shikai. Otherwise there'd be a separate benefit for the Hollowfication path at Shikai.

 

[Seamus]

OK...since it's been ages since my kai was done and since it was designed almost exclusively by Van who is no longer with us I need to know if it is still appropriate in this day and age. I'm willing to completely resubmit and redesign if you think it's necessary. IMO it seems to me both inflexible AND somewhat unbalanced.

Kaja
Echo

Helista, Kaja.

Spirit: Kaja has no tangible form when she is manifested in the real world. Best described as a series of ripples and impulses, one detects, almost hears her presence in the back of their mind rather than to behold her with their eyes.

Form: When released, Kaja takes the form of a knife, split down the center into two distinct parts that join half way down the blade and are anchored at the hilt. The two halves of the knife are tapered to sharp points and the hilt is made of a dull black substance; complete with a rippled surface for a better grip.

Knife

Ability -- Kaja (Echo): At the cost of 500 reiatsu, Cameron coats his body with a thin layer of reiatsu. Upon a successful strike (by Cameron) the reiatsu immediately attacks the opponents body and paralyzes the limb that either initiated or got struck by an attack on the following round. Paralysis lasts one turn.

Ability -- Tühista(Negate): By paying 5% of his reiatsu per turn to a maximum of 4 turns and stacking to a maximum of 20%, Cameron is able to completely negate the use or formation of an ability which has a cost less than or equal to the threshold of the ability. Because of how tough this ability is to control, Cameron can only target a single person/being at a time and can only be used at an interval of two turns between when the stacks were consumed.

 

[Nargles]

- Synthesis replacement because it no longer is valid lawl

[ Katsudatsu ] - “Circumstantial Adaptation”

The completion of a so-called Immortality Protocol is the driving mantra behind the actions of Cerberus Corporation. While the corporation has expanded into multiple facets and organizations, the completion of the central dogma is the highest priority.

Recovered from the destroyed ruins of the original headquarters of Cerberus - New York, a being known as Subject 0000 - "Deucalion", has been secured and contained in the deepest depths of The Annex in Cerberus - Tokyo. Only those of the highest security clearance know of its existence; however, the secrets gained from testing have permeated itself throughout the company. Those agents who have shown dedication to the company are allowed a single injection of the reiatsu of the Subject, granting them the first step towards a true evolution.

The reiatsu of Subject 0000 is particularly resilient to changes in the environment, and has been defined to be a Complete Teleonomic Response. While the full effects are given to the subject alone, agents injected with the reiatsu gain a lesser version of this trait. Their body’s ability to evolve to match oncoming attacks carrying reiatsu is greatly boosted.

Upon getting struck by enemy abilities which cost reiatsu, their bodies naturally store 15% of the attack’s damage, similar to a capacitor. This does not affect the potency of the attack. At any point, they are able to drain the entirety of the storage, to amplify a single ability of their choice. The agent can only store up to a value equal to 25% of their base reiatsu.​

 

[swaswj]

- Synthesis replacement because it no longer is valid lawl

[ Katsudatsu ] - “Circumstantial Adaptation”

The completion of a so-called Immortality Protocol is the driving mantra behind the actions of Cerberus Corporation. While the corporation has expanded into multiple facets and organizations, the completion of the central dogma is the highest priority.

Recovered from the destroyed ruins of the original headquarters of Cerberus - New York, a being known as Subject 0000 - "Deucalion", has been secured and contained in the deepest depths of The Annex in Cerberus - Tokyo. Only those of the highest security clearance know of its existence; however, the secrets gained from testing have permeated itself throughout the company. Those agents who have shown dedication to the company are allowed a single injection of the reiatsu of the Subject, granting them the first step towards a true evolution.

The reiatsu of Subject 0000 is particularly resilient to changes in the environment, and has been defined to be a Complete Teleonomic Response. While the full effects are given to the subject alone, agents injected with the reiatsu gain a lesser version of this trait. Their body’s ability to evolve to match oncoming attacks carrying reiatsu is greatly boosted.

Upon getting struck by enemy abilities which cost reiatsu, their bodies naturally store 15% of the attack’s damage, similar to a capacitor. This does not affect the potency of the attack. At any point, they are able to drain the entirety of the storage, to amplify a single ability of their choice. The agent can only store up to a value equal to 25% of their base reiatsu.​

Denied.

At what point does it seem like a good idea to allow someone to store 25% of their base reiatsu to amplify a single ability?

That'd be like saying Sayis could store up to 25,000 reiatsu and then shoot a 25,025 rei Byakurai.

Of course, it'd take getting hit by 166% of your reiatsu to store 25%, so the numbers are all kinds of broken.

 

[Beaks]

Resubbing per shade.

 

[Shadowwind]

In Question

Aura of the Righteous Devil
Feat Type: Unique
Description: Tsubaki's record of service has put her in the presence of some of the most terrifying Reiatsu pressures ever known, both in Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. To combat this, the Aura of the Righteous Devil technique was created. While it does nothing to increase the Reiatsu Tsubaki has available, the technique doubles the pressure she exudes when utilizing her release or techniques. (Example: 40,000 Reiatsu will feel like 80,000 Reiatsu and so on.) This increase in the strength of her pressure allows Tsubaki to withstand stronger Reiatsu signatures with less effort.

While active, the aura around Tsubaki is stained a mixture of deep silver and white, causing her to appear engulfed in white fire. This technique carries no inherent cost, but can only be utilized when Tsubaki is actively using her Reiatsu. Actions such as casting Kidou, using Division Techniques or going into Shi Kai/Ban Kai will feel doubled. Waiting quietly at the bus stop will not. The amount of additional pressure generated is dependent on the woman's Reiatsu, and will rise and lower appropriately as her current Reiatsu rises or falls. In addition, the endless fires of the Captain's determination can slowly repair and replenish themselves, allowing Tsubaki to regenerate 3,000 Reiatsu per round.​

Let's do this. There are a number of problems I see with the above feat, which in my opinion shouldn't have been approved in its current form. First is that this does two things, even if the first isn't really all that useful in the rp for rei crush. The second comes with the after thought appearance of a passive regen that is free and that even in sayis would be equivalent of 3% of his reiatsu per turn for nothing. I for one hate parasitic mechanics that have no counter-play, beyond this there is literally no cost:reward ratio with this ability. It's all upside. The regen either needs to be scaled back and made conditional/separate from the doubling effect or this thing needs a cost on it.​

​

 

[swaswj]

Aura of the Righteous Devil

Aura of the Righteous Devil
Feat Type: Unique
Description: Tsubaki's record of service has put her in the presence of some of the most terrifying Reiatsu pressures ever known, both in Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. To combat this, the Aura of the Righteous Devil technique was created. While it does nothing to increase the Reiatsu Tsubaki has available, the technique doubles the pressure she exudes when utilizing her release or techniques. (Example: 40,000 Reiatsu will feel like 80,000 Reiatsu and so on.) This increase in the strength of her pressure allows Tsubaki to withstand stronger Reiatsu signatures with less effort.

While active, the aura around Tsubaki is stained a mixture of deep silver and white, causing her to appear engulfed in white fire. This technique carries no inherent cost, but can only be utilized when Tsubaki is actively using her Reiatsu. Actions such as casting Kidou, using Division Techniques or going into Shi Kai/Ban Kai will feel doubled. Waiting quietly at the bus stop will not. The amount of additional pressure generated is dependent on the woman's Reiatsu, and will rise and lower appropriately as her current Reiatsu rises or falls. In addition, the endless fires of the Captain's determination can slowly repair and replenish themselves, allowing Tsubaki to regenerate 3,000 Reiatsu per round.

Aura of the Righteous Devil New

Aura of the Righteous Devil
Feat Type: Unique
Description: Tsubaki's record of service has put her in the presence of some of the most terrifying Reiatsu pressures ever known, both in Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. Due to this, Tsubaki's reiatsu has become a portentous force within its own right. The reiatsu exuded by Tsubaki carries a commanding presence, infused with a taste of the lethality she has experienced first-hand.

While active, the aura around Tsubaki is stained a mixture of deep silver and white, causing her to appear engulfed in white fire. By giving 1500 reiatsu into the aura, Tsubaki's reiatsu itself becomes deadly, with those nearest to Tsubaki receiving the brunt of the effect: everything within 15m is sheared with cold fire.

Fuyu no Nigiri

Name: Fuyu No Nigiri (Winter's Grasp)
Release: TBD Upon Approval
Spirit: TBD Upon Approval
Form:SealedReleased
Shi Kai Form: TBD Upon Approval

Shi Kai Abilities:

Attack: Kyuna Samu-Sa (Cold Snap) - A quick sword strike costing 5% of Tsubaki's Reiatsu to execute. Attack speed is determined by her Zanjutsu. Strikes that connect with an opponent (regardless of the location of the blow) will not hurt, instead only a tiny patch of ice will be present on the victim. This ice cannot be removed unless detonated by Tsubaki or by the resealing of her blade. Instead of causing direct harm, these patches of ice cause all techniques (Attacks, Kidou, Feats) used by the victim to cost an additional 1% per ice patch. This effect is cumulative and caps at 10%.

Attack: Tatakai Waru (To Shatter) - For 15% Reiatsu Tsubaki can detonate all accumulated patches of ice on an individual with a snap of her fingers. This effect is immediate and causes not only the injury of the detonation but all pain that would have been felt by the ice patches previously is brought on as well. The intensity of the pain is dependent on the number of ice patches made by Kyuna Samu-Sa that are detonated.
1-2: Minor Discomfort
2-4: Sharp, Stinging Pain
4-6: Intense Discomfort
6-8: Severe Pain, Inability to Focus or Ignore
8-10: Debilitating Pain, will trigger nausea or feelings of faintness
10+: Agony
Once detonated, the victim no longer suffers any percentage increase in the cost of their skills.

Ban Kai: Kori Kaminokari (Ice God's Fury)

Appearance: TBD upon approval

Ban Kai Abilities:

Ability: Jaken No Samu-Sa - Each round Tsubaki is in Ban Kai, a small patch of ice will appear on her opponent similar to those made by Kyuna Samu-Sa. These patches of ice cause the victim to suffer a 2% increase in the cost of their actions (Attacks, Abilities, Kidou, etc) per patch of ice, with a cap of 20%. (Any additional patches will still attach themselves, but add no increase in skill costs.) This effect costs Tsubaki 2% of her Reiatsu per round to maintain. If the ability is shut off the patches melt off and disappear at a rate of one per round.

Attack: Tataki Waru No Arashi (Shatter Storm) - An expenditure of 50% of her Reiatsu allows Tsubaki to shatter all accumulated patches of ice on her enemy with one snap of her fingers. For each patch that is detonated an additional spike of ice measuring roughly 10 meters erupts from the ground underneath the target. These ice spikes cost Tsubaki an additional 1,000 Reiatsu per patch to summon, and have no cap save for the woman's own Reiatsu pool but cannot exceed the number of patches on the target.

When detonated, the patches cause an amount of accumulated pain based on the number shattered.
1-2: Minor Discomfort
2-4: Sharp, Stinging Pain
4-6: Intense Discomfort
6-8: Severe Pain, Inability to Focus or Ignore
8-10: Debilitating Pain, will trigger nausea or feelings of faintness
10+: Agony

Nigiri is a type of sushi. Even though a literal translation does include 'grip' I'm going to respectfully suggest an alternative:

Fuyu no Haaku Fixed

Name: Fuyu No Haaku (Winter's Grasp)
Release: TBD Upon Approval
Spirit: TBD Upon Approval
Form:SealedReleased
Shi Kai Form: TBD Upon Approval

Shi Kai Abilities:

Attack: Kyuna Samu-Sa (Cold Snap) - The blade of Fuyu no Haaku temporarily embodies the glacial chill of winter itself. By paying 5% reiatsu, Tsubaki's blade becomes intangible frost for one round. This blade will pass through physical obstructions, including enemy swords, but is consequently unable to block or parry. Upon a successful melee strike, instead of a physical wound, Tsubaki's victim is inflicted with a deathly chill, blood itself chilling within their veins and the pinprick of ice crystals burns beneath the skin. For the next two rounds, each time the victim spends reiatsu, additional reiatsu is used up, equal to 5% of Tsubaki's reiatsu. The reiatsu crystallizes into ice on the surface of the target's skin. This effect can only occur up to three times, and at the end of the second round, the ice melts.

Kyuna Samu-Sa may only be used once per four rounds. Attempts to melt the ice will cause it to detonate (see Tatakai Waru).

Attack: Tatakai Waru (To Shatter) - For 10% reiatsu Tsubaki can detonate all accumulated patches of ice on an individual with a successful melee strike against the ice. This effect is immediate and deadly, shards of sharp ice shrapnel spreading out from (and back toward) the affected target. The strength of the attack is dependent on how much reiatsu is imbued in the ice patches covering the victim's body.


Ban Kai: Kori Kaminokari (Ice God's Fury)

Appearance: TBD upon approval

Ban Kai Abilities:

Ability: Shiro no Borei (White Apparition) - Tsubaki's Bankai turns the world around her into a gelid wasteland, covering everything without reiatsu in a layer of crystalline ice. A white storm of snow engulfs her domain, a 30m radius from where the Bankai was released. This frozen white-out obscures the form of the swords-woman, and when more than 10m away, there will always be at least three silhouettes of her form in the snow. Only further concealing her whereabouts, once per round, Tsubaki may pay 1500 reiatsu to step into any icy structure within her domain to step out of another.

Attack: Jaken No Samu-Sa - The blade of Kori Kaminokari temporarily embodies the glacial chill of winter itself. By paying 10% reiatsu, Tsubaki's blade becomes intangible frost for one round. This blade will pass through physical obstructions, including enemy swords, but is consequently unable to block or parry. Upon a successful melee strike, instead of a physical wound, Tsubaki's victim is inflicted with a deathly chill, blood itself chilling within their veins and the pinprick of ice crystals burns beneath the skin. For the next two rounds, each time the victim spends reiatsu, additional reiatsu is used up, equal to 10% of Tsubaki's reiatsu. The reiatsu crystallizes into ice on the surface of the target's skin. This effect can only occur up to three times, and at the end of the second round, the ice melts.

Jaken no Samu-Sa may only be used once per four rounds. Attempts to melt the ice will cause it to detonate (see Tataki Waru no Arashi).

Attack: Toketsu Hari no Yuka (Bed of Frozen Needles) - At the cost of 10% of her reiatsu, Tsubaki's reiatsu engulfs an area of the environment. Within 15m, a glowing white circle 5m in diameter appears. Seconds later, dozens of ice needles erupt from the circle, each one stretching 10m into the air. Not only is this attack potentially deadly on its own, but a patch of crystallized ice is left around the target's largest wound. This patch lasts for two rounds before melting.

Attack: Tataki Waru No Arashi (Shatter Storm) - For 10% reiatsu Tsubaki can detonate all accumulated patches of ice on an individual with a successful melee strike against the ice. This effect is immediate and deadly, shards of sharp ice shrapnel spreading out from (and back toward) the affected target. The strength of the attack is dependent on how much reiatsu is imbued in the ice patches covering the victim's body.

 

[swaswj]

And a few for Shade

Gakuryoku

Form: The constantly released form of Gakuryoku takes on a instrument of necessity for its master, a walking cane. Its 3ft tall appearing to be made of bamboo, if looked at closely hundreds of small runes decorate the cane, its durability is on par with a standard zanpakutou.

Manifestation: Gakuryoku’s world is a place thrived on the mind, where Hisao’s lack of physical abilities don’t matter, an infinite library. The shelves and rows of books seem to go on forever tended to by an army of small shadows. Gakuryoku himself is a Kitsune, dull grey and as old as his master. He wears a scholar’s robe with an old cloth wrapped around his eyes. When annoyed, or to point out a specific point, Gakuryoku is able to transform his shape into a human, strikingly similar to Hisao himself. The spirit will speak plainly and tends to point out the side of an argument that its master likes to ignore.

Shikai: Gakuryoku (Scholarship)


Form: Hisao’s usual cane is replaced by a much more intricate weapon. The top of the newly formed four foot staff is crowned with what appears to be a large dream catcher with a gem inset. Branching off from the circle are what looks like tree branches with tags attached inscribed in the arcane runes seen on his sealed can. Just below this is a smaller duplicate of the larger dream catcher and branch structures. As Hisao drains more reiatsu, the gem begins to glow green. With the light getting bigger and brighter as more reiatsu is siphoned.



Ability: Kyokukan(Siphon)

The single ability of Hisao’s zanpakutou is constantly active. The old’s man reliance on kidou to defend himself has caused his weapon to be able to draw off energy from the very demon arts its master is so dependent upon. Whenever a kidou, cero, gintou, or release ability is used within 15m of Hisao 10% of the reiatsu cost of the ability is stored within Gakuryoku. This energy can only be used for the sole purpose of casting more spells and does not take away from the actual damage of the ability used. The total amount of stored reiatsu in Gakuryoku cannot exceed more than 50% of Hisao’s kidou stat and is always drained first when a spell is cast.


Ressurection: Kuruijini (Death in Madness)

Form: Truly embracing the darkness and primal hunger of his soul, Hisao’s bankai has been utterly rewritten as he has come to accept working with his inner hollow. At a whim, Hisao’s zanpakutou shatters as a thick putrid grey fog of reiatsu explodes outward covering a circle 30m in radius from Hisao’s position. Once it condenses, those within its effect find the ground and sky littered with strings of reiatsu all shining the same grey as the relic’s reiatsu. At the center of this mobile field, the former tyrant emerges after going through a complete metamorphosis.

Hisao’s “body” is now a 30ft tall arachnid body with proportional legs and a hideous gaping maw. Out of the top of the structure a human torso emerges as the rest of the kidouist’s form. While in this form all talking is down by the mouth on the body which speaks in a double tone of both Hisao’s voice and his inner hollow’s.

Ability: Gihei (Righteous Soldier)

The draining nature of Hisao’s shikai has been amplified to affect every being caught within Hisao’s web. The drain is 20% of the cost of any kidou, gintou, cero, faction techniques, release abilities, feats, and basic techniques. This energy can only be used for the sole purpose of casting more spells or for use in his bankai attacks and does not take away from the actual damage of the ability used. The total amount of stored reiatsu cannot exceed Hisao’s kidou stat though Hisao now gains the ability to decide whether to spend his own reiatsu or the reiatsu stored when casting a spell.

Ability: Kaisen (Outbreak of war)
A passive ability activated constantly while Hisao is in his Resurrection form. He gains 2% rage per turn to augment his giant, mostly immobile form. In his augmented form,Hisao can heal minor wounds in 2 rounds, moderate wounds in 3, and major wounds in four rounds.

Attack: Oushi (Imperial Army)
By gaining 2% Rage, Hisao is able to craft a five foot tall version of his Resurrection form which moves according to his ability stat. These smaller clones do not directly do damage, however they may be embedded with a single kidou spell (which counts towards Hisao’s casting limit), which Hisao must pay for, to release either when destroyed or when Hisao wills them to detonate.

Gakuryoku Fixed

Form: The constantly released form of Gakuryoku is an instrument of necessity for its master: a walking cane. The bamboo cane is three feet tall. If looked at closely, hundreds of small runes decorate the cane. Its durability is on par with a standard zanpakutou.

Manifestation: Gakuryoku’s world is a place where the mind thrives, where Hisao’s lack of physical abilities are inconsequential: an infinite library. The shelves and rows of books seem to go on forever, tended to by an army of small shadows. Gakuryoku himself is a Kitsune, dull grey and as old as his master. He wears a scholar’s robe with an old cloth wrapped around his eyes. When annoyed, or to point out a specific point, Gakuryoku is able to transform his shape into a human, strikingly similar to Hisao himself. The spirit will speak plainly and tends to point out the side of an argument that its master likes to ignore.

Shikai: Gakuryoku (Scholarship)

Form: Hisao’s usual cane is replaced by a much more intricate weapon. The top of the newly-formed four-foot staff is crowned with what appears to be a large dream catcher with a gem inset. Branching off from the circle are what looks like tree branches with tags attached, inscribed in the arcane runes seen on his sealed cane. Just below this is a smaller duplicate of the dream catcher and branch structures. As Hisao drains more reiatsu, the gem begins to glow green, with the light getting bigger and brighter as more reiatsu is siphoned.

Ability: Kyokukan (Siphon)

The single ability of Hisao’s zanpakutou is constantly active. The old’s man reliance on kidou to defend himself has caused his weapon to be able to draw off energy from the very demon arts its master is so dependent upon. When targets within 10m use reiatsu, 10% of the spent amount is stored within Gakuryoku. This energy can only be used for the sole purpose of casting more spells and does not take away from the actual damage of the ability used. The total amount of stored reiatsu in Gakuryoku cannot exceed more than 50% of Hisao’s kidou stat and is always drained first when a spell is cast. Hisao may not siphon his own reiatsu attacks.

Resurreccion: Kuruijini (Death in Madness)

Form: Truly embracing the darkness and primal hunger of his soul, Hisao’s bankai has been utterly rewritten as he has come to accept working with his inner hollow. At a whim, Hisao’s zanpakutou shatters as a thick putrid grey fog of reiatsu explodes outward covering a circle 30m in radius from Hisao’s position. Once it condenses, those within its effect find the ground and sky littered with strings of reiatsu all shining the same grey as the relic’s reiatsu. At the center of this mobile field, the former tyrant emerges after going through a complete metamorphosis.

Hisao’s “body” is now a 10m tall arachnid body with eight long, spindly legs capped in serrated chitin, as well as hideous gaping mandibles. Out of the top of the spider's head, a human torso emerges as the rest of the kidouist’s form. While in this form all talking is done by the mouth on the body, which speaks in a double tone of both Hisao’s voice and his inner hollow’s.

Ability: Gihei (Righteous Soldier)

The draining nature of Hisao’s shikai has been amplified to affect every being caught within Hisao’s web. When targets within this range use reiatsu, 20% of the spent amount is stored within his body. This energy can only be used for the sole purpose of casting more spells and does not take away from the actual damage of the ability used. The total amount of stored reiatsu cannot exceed Hisao’s kidou stat and is always drained first when a spell is cast. Hisao may not siphon his own reiatsu attacks.

Hisao gains 5% rage each round, augmenting his siphon pool by an additional 5% reiatsu.

Ability: Kaisen (Outbreak of war)
Gaining 10% rage, the massive body of the spider rears back suddenly, raising Hisao's torso high above, with the four forelegs slashing and attacking wildly. From the monster's spinnerets, a net of black webbing shoots out, reaching 15m long and 8m wide. This iron-like webbing only lasts for one round, but it almost impossible to break free of when caught. When Hisao strikes any part of the web with a hadou or cero, the energy spreads through the fibers and hits everything in the web.

Attack: Oushi (Imperial Army)
By gaining 5% Rage, Hisao is able to craft a five foot tall version of his Resurreccion form which moves according to his ability stat. These smaller clones do not directly do damage; they may be embedded with a single kidou spell of up to three slots. This counts as one of Hisao's spells for that round, and he pays the full cost accordingly. The spell is released either when the spider is destroyed or when Hisao wills them to detonate.

Shade Feats

[Mark of the Virulent God]
Type: Unique

Hisao's entire zanpakutou is based on the destructive nature of reiatsu expenditure. The relic has now managed to learn how to add this destructive nature into his natural attacks. By paying 5% reiatsu, any attack Hisao chooses becomes warped with this corruptive reiatsu. Once contact is made with an opponent, their ability to accurately manipulate reiatsu becomes severely dampened. Any abilities normally affected by Hisao’s siphon ability are increased by the amount paid for 2 rounds. Damage does not increase and this extra reiatsu is implanted directly into Hisao’s kai reiatsu pool. This also does not change the effective kidou cost when factored against defensive abilities such as Kawasu. Once an infection is implanted Hisao must wait 5 turns before another one can be used.



[Ikidooru no Higi ] Rage of the Arcane
Feat Level: Unique

Hisao’s mastery over the arcane and his coexistence with his inner hollow are both nearly peerless. Utilizing his unique talents, Hisao is able to morph the characteristics of his cero to perform unique tasks. By paying 1.25x the cost of a kidou spell, the elderly Imperator is able to select one of two effects. He can either merge his cero within a casted kidou spell or infuse the properties of a given kidou spell within the standard cero form. In either case, bypass rules still apply for the given spell, additionally properties of the attack such as speed and shape are not changed.

Feats Fixed

[Mark of the Virulent God]
Type: Unique

Hisao's entire zanpakutou is based on the destructive nature of reiatsu expenditure. The relic has now managed to learn how to add this destructive nature into his natural attacks. By paying 5% reiatsu while released, any attack Hisao chooses becomes warped with this corruptive reiatsu. Once contact is made with an opponent, their ability to accurately manipulate reiatsu becomes severely dampened. For the next 2 rounds, each time the opponent uses reiatsu, an additional amount equal to 3% of Hisao's reiatsu is lost, adding to Hisao's siphon pool. This effect may only occur up to 4 times.

Mark of the Virulent God may not be used again for 5 rounds.



[Ikidooru no Higi ] Rage of the Arcane
Feat Level: Unique

Hisao’s mastery over the arcane and his coexistence with his inner hollow are both nearly peerless. Utilizing his unique talents, Hisao is able to morph the characteristics of his cero to perform unique tasks. By paying the full cost of a hadou spell and 20% rage, the elderly Imperator is able to merge his cero within the casted spell, unleashing it on impact. Incantation bypass will impact the strength of the cero.

 

[Beaks]

Approved to resub Unique in place of ARD per Will.

Feat Name: Shibire Tatchi (Numbing Touch)
Feat Type: Unique
Feat Description: For a cost of 2% of her Reiatsu Tsubaki is able to touch the blade of her weapon against a wound suffered by either herself of an ally, covering the wound in a thin sheen of ice. While this ice is in place, the injury is not felt and causes no additional pain (Similar to the Threshold Kidou).

This effect continues until cancelled by Tsubaki, and has no limit as to the number of Shibire Tachi active at one time. However, Tsubaki must pay for each individual use as normal and can only be activated at a rate of one per turn.

 

[swaswj]

Approved to resub Unique in place of ARD per Will.

Feat Name: Shibire Tatchi (Numbing Touch)
Feat Type: Unique
Feat Description: For a cost of 2% of her Reiatsu Tsubaki is able to touch the blade of her weapon against a wound suffered by either herself of an ally, covering the wound in a thin sheen of ice. While this ice is in place, the injury is not felt and causes no additional pain (Similar to the Threshold Kidou).

This effect continues until cancelled by Tsubaki, and has no limit as to the number of Shibire Tachi active at one time. However, Tsubaki must pay for each individual use as normal and can only be activated at a rate of one per turn.

This doesn't need to use a %. Added the ability for it to stop bleeding, but it only lasts 4 rounds. You can pay the cost again for another 4 rounds (no need to touch the sword to it a second time), as many times as needed, but be aware that, like Threshold, when it does wear off there's going to be a lot of pain all at once.

Feat Name: Shibire Tatchi (Numbing Touch)
Feat Type: Unique
Feat Description: For a cost of 250 reiatsu, Tsubaki is able to touch the blade of her weapon against a wound suffered by either herself or an ally, covering the wound in a thin sheen of ice. While this ice is in place, bleeding is halted and the injury causes no additional pain, similar to the Threshold kidou.

The effect lasts for four rounds, although Tsubaki may pay the full cost again to renew the duration. There is no limit as to the number of Shibire Tachi active at one time, though only one can be activated per turn, and each has its own cost and duration.

 

[Several Zombies]

Taking a bat to the Vizard Mask bonus because shit's OP.

Old Bonus

Mask
Each vizard has a unique looking mask that represents their inner hollow. They my manifest this mask in combat in order to call upon the full power of their hollow side, gaining an immediate 20% increase to all combat stats, including reiatsu. This stacks with any other source of increase. This increase raises the user’s kidou threshold as well, in addition to modifying the power of spells. If casting a spell with a base cost of 100 reiatsu, the masked vizard would generate an spell with 120 reiatsu value.

When a vizard attempts to remove their mask, they may be forced to overcome their hollow's desires. If the vizard has 80% or higher rage, the mask cannot be simply removed, forcing the hybrid to struggle for control and leaving them exposed to their enemies. It takes at least two rounds to remove one's mask in such a state.

New Bonus

Mask
Each Vizard has a unique looking mask that represents their inner hollow. A mask is considered a Unique Item, but does not occupy an Item Slot. Additionally, each mask may have one modest effect, rated at two Item Tiers below the owner's highest available tier, with a minimum of a D rating. These effects must be submitted for review by Item Staff. A Vizard may manifest this mask in combat in order to call upon the full power of their hollow side, gaining an immediate 10% increase to reiatsu.

When a Vizard attempts to remove their mask, they may be forced to overcome their hollow's desires. If the Vizard has 80% or higher rage, the mask cannot be simply removed, forcing the hybrid to struggle for control and leaving them exposed to their enemies. It takes at least two rounds to remove one's mask in such a state.

 

[Beaks]

Still seems a little underpowered for a unique as far as I'm concerned. If there's something that would allow it to forgo the pain backlash when it wears off I'll call it good.

And since this feat was influenced by ARD I'm putting it up for resub.

Original:
Feat Name: Lightbringer
Feat Type: Unique
Feat Description: (I'll probably do a more wordy version later.)
The Gist: Activating Lightbringer grants Tsubaki a longsword of living flame, powered by her own spiritual force. Strikes with Lightbringer hit with the power equivalent of whatever Tsubaki's pressure would be at after paying the cost of activating Lightbringer. The technique itself does not cost Reiatsu to activate, but instead lowers Tsubaki's Reiatsu pools in Sealed/Shi Kai and Ban Kai forms by 15%. This deduction in Reiatsu remains active until the technique is canceled.

For every 10,000 Reiatsu worth of pressure generated by Tsubaki, the force of her physical strikes increases by 1000 lbs. This increase in strength is calculated only after the initial cost of the technique is paid, and lowers in kind as the Captain uses Reiatsu. Spiritual beings can weather the sheer force, preventing them from being immediately shattered by the blow and instead the effect greatly amplifies the knock-back force. Non-spiritual and mundane objects can be easily destroyed by the ability.


Resub: (Will make it word pretty later or whatev)

Feat Name: Tsuki No Hanabira (Lunar Petal)
Feat Type: Unique
Feat Description: By paying 1% Reiatsu per round, Tsubaki is able to follow any movement that normally would be imperceptible in a 30 meter radius. This includes such things as Shunpo, Weapon or unarmed strikes that normally would move too quickly to be seen, teleportation, and the like. While active, this feat turns the whole of her eyes black, save for a tiny dot of white at the center of each of them.

For a once-per-instance cost of 5% of Tsubaki's Reiatsu, this feat allows her to see through one illusion or falsehood. (Rei cloak, shapechanging, sleight of hand, lying, etc). This cost only covers one illusion or lie, and must be repaid for each illusion or lie she wishes to see through. This secondary ability has a cap of three times per week.

After deactivation her eyes return to normal.

 

[lilmangoseed]

Hey Beaks,

This is a new feat, not a GM fix. Post this in the Feat Submission thread for Hiren to take a look at.

Thanks.