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Note: Follow-up to The Seventh Vice Ignominious Wordcount: 1,659 "Reckoning time, boys." The office of the Banker of the Seventh Vice had seemed grandiose, almost monumental, far too large for the solitary man behind the desk and filled with unnecessary lavishness. Gold and silver and...

Note: Follow-up to Reforged The Seventh Vice Wordcount: 1,267 The Little City within the Grand Metropolis was host to many different factions, and over the decades power changed frequently. Collectively, the powers that ran the Lupanar District were known as the Nefastus, and although not...

Note: Follow-up to Sinister Reforged Wordcount: 1,091 Ting! Ting! Ting! The mechanized hammer fell again and again, filling the forge with the music of metal on metal. Keydis stood in front of the machine, covered in sweat after a long day's work. She held a pair of tongs in one hand...

Note: Follow-up to Remodeling Sinister Wordcount: 1,072 A long hallway cast in shadow, with dim red light flickering near the end. Candles under foggy red glass near the ceiling provided just enough light to show that the hallway branched in two directions. Those who knew took the turn to...

That little note at the start really wasn't necessary. It's all storytelling, and getting to know the characters is part of telling a good story. I actually really appreciated getting to know this crew a little better. We had kind of a handle on Tes already, but this let us dig a little bit...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 610: The Boss’ Hospitality by Deni Perfide.

Apologies for how long this has taken. Together with missing that it was posted for the first week or two, every time I sat down to start reading, something else would rear up and take priority. The wordcount gave me pause, but this chapter still managed to fly right by. The pacing was handled...

Chapter 4, Part 2 Wordcount, 2597 "Ohh no…." The voice seemed distant, like he was underwater and someone was shouting from shore. "No, no, no, this is bad. Damn, this is bad!" Someone grabbed his wrist, then put a hand to his forehead. "Kade! Kade, can you hear me?" Slowly, Kade opened his...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 606: Professor Visuri by Deni Perfide.

Chapter 04: Prophecy Part 1 Wordcount, 2306 Over the following days, the city was buzzing with activity. While no citizens of Tulorildril had been injured in the attack, wild rumors flew that Honorast or Beladhell or both would be coming to destroy the entire island nation. People swarmed up to...

Chapter 3, Part 3 Wordcount, 2716 Kade's eyes shot open and he sucked in a sharp breath. He was on his back on something hard and stiff, somewhere inside. For a long moment, he just lay there, watching shadows dance on the rafters above him. Finally, he slowly lifted himself up and looked...

Incredible build-up of tension. Positioning this story from Tes' perspective and allowing us to see how others view Deni is a great way to remind the reader just how much he's capable of. When we're in Deni's mind, we get to see a lot of his insecurities and see when he's bluffing and when he's...

Hm. Was I mistaken about where this takes place..? Reading back through Shadows 1-3, there are references to Valmoor having misty streets and mouldering tombs, so I thought this to be the Valmoor (aka Vahlmore) that Rob created as the home and kingdom of Rosa. He also called it the City of...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 605: The Boss by Deni Perfide.

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 604: The Great Blight (Prologue) by MoonlitRain014.

Chapter 3, Part 2 Wordcount, 1005 "Aha! This will be your final battle! You will never defeat the Indomitable Adamas!" The heroic Adamas pointed his sword at his sworn enemy, Belad the Conqueror. "Pitiful! Your Knights are nothing to my Eredhell Assassins!" Belad retorted, pointing his sword...

Chapter 03: Embrace Part 1 Wordcount, 1406 Kade hit the water gracelessly and the sudden shock of cold brought his awareness back into focus. He almost wished it hadn't. Everything was cold and dark. The waves rolling by overhead sent his body tumbling, even under the water. Each and every...

(I need to look into re-creating the process that would auto-create feedback threads) Well, faex. ... It's really good to see both of you writing again. I didn't realize how much I missed these characters. It's stunning to see how much both of them have changed from the earliest chapters...

Please post any comments, critique, and other feedback here for Week 604: The Flames of What We Once Were (Fated Alliance) by Deni Perfide and Ignis of Animi.

Still not happy with the next Keydis chapter. Next week, I post it whether I'm satisfied or not, otherwise I'll get stuck forever again. Instead, we have another look at how Kade's mind works. I should recompile this using the 'chapters' function later, too. Chapter 2, Part 2 Wordcount, 3408...