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I like that this is labeled the final part, marks a good spot to sit and collect thoughts on the arc. I mentioned briefly that I like the way this story is highlighting the merits of conventional investigation, while still working in drama when things go outside the scope of the norm. The...

Seeing Laermont's vulnerability was a satisfying addition to his character, and seeing Yttrius' interactions with his co-conspirators raises some intrigue. I wasn't expecting Yttrius to suddenly die, since it felt like you were building toward something bigger for him. Sorry these thoughts are...

Again mostly going to echo Fin's thoughts. I do want to make a note here that I want to talk about Solaviskar, but I'm going to save those thoughts for the final part. It's nice to see that thorough investigation pays off, though, bringing the team close to finding their culprit without feeling...

I will mostly echo Fin's thoughts here. One small stylistic thing I might recommend: instead of telling the readers the name in the opening moments, you could have held that reveal until later when Laermont is on the scene. It feels a little out of place to introduce her as if she'll be a main...

Lots of talking in this one. Always be careful to avoid too much talking without at least describing things happening on the side -- and make sure things are happening. While you did keep up with expressions and simple gestures, I would have liked to see a little more going on in the background...

Loving the vibe that is set at the beginning of the chapter. The battle, though brief, felt snappy and intense. After that, I'm caught off-guard by how completely the assassin's demeanor changes. In the previous chapter and the beginning of this one, the assassin is calm, calculating, and...

I have a big batch of comments coming up. Some of them will be short, but I wanted to get caught up on everything. Only ... 16 months late on this one. I'm noticing a lot more imagery and colorful language, but there's still a lot of gray. That fits for a more noir vibe, and noir would...

Cartography Submissions A part of writing is creating settings and with our new world map in place, there's also a path for adding locations to that map. In order to get a location added to the map, there are a few things you'll need: Name: The name, and if appropriate, an associated epithet...

Think back to the year 2014, when Colin, Alan, Arun, and I began working on the concept that would become Post Terminus. Since we were going to set it in a fantasy world, after all the years of RPing on Earth in Halcyon Days, one of the things I set out to do was create a world map, one that was...

Patch 3.2.0 Notes: A Long Time Coming The long-promised timeskip is finally happening. I'd like to lead off by apologizing for how this kept getting delayed. I can give you all dozens of excuses, but I'll sum it up with this: I got overwhelmed by life and change and did a poor job of managing...

I was confused for a few moments before remembering that you had shown me a preview before. Much of this chapter does a great job of presenting Annora's state of mind, the confusion and betrayal, as she wrestles with the destiny she never wanted that came at a cost she never would have chosen...

I harp on atmosphere a lot in my reviews (speaking generally, not specifically of your work), and right away, this chapter shows off why it's so powerful. This seems to fit rather well with the talk of hyperphantasia, as well. Before we ever see Annora, we experience what she's experiencing...

Confirmation that this is a diary, but I don't quite think it's written like a diary, and stand by the first/third comments on the earlier entries. The part Lurius plays here seems to create a hole in the plot. Established earlier on, he has a mechanical device that functions as an effective...

A lot of my comments on part 1 still hold true. Something I neglected to mention before is that I'm glad to see Valmoor turning up in story. I always approve of seeing new or underutilized areas being fleshed out, no pun intended. This still has the framework of a third-party story. Curiously...

Right away, I would like to say that the description of the Impraevitas building is masterfully crafted. It presents the perfect image for the organization, prim, proper, forgettable. The way the first floor is given to a nice presentation while the upper floors are pure business and the...

Slipping into first-person narrative is always a challenge when the RP traditionally uses third-person. It can certainly suit some stories, however. This one seems unclear on what it wants to be. One important thing to consider when writing in the first-person is audience: who is the narrator...

"The body that lay on the flat metal table was not a sight for those with weak stomachs." By now, we've all heard the old adage of "Show, don't tell," and this is a place where it would apply perfectly. There's two directions I could see here, and what I would recommend, with minimal changes to...

I actually read this when it was initially posted, and then never got around to writing out my thoughts. Sorry for the wait. One quick thought on the first line: assuming the reader may not be familiar with the geography of Araevis (a reasonable assumption), I would likely be a little more...

I believe you had said something about this reminding you of the scene from Doctor Strange, and I can see that. However, I think it's done really well here and that's not such an easy thing to get across in writing. Starting off, I like the change in perspective, being present tense instead of...

I'll be honest, I really struggled with this one. It's been so long since I read the previous portions that I had trouble recalling who everyone is, and having most of them referred to only by their hair color did little to clear things up. By the end of this, I'm still not sure who's who, what...